Earlier this year, I met a Japanese girl in Thailand while smoking cigs. I got her line as well and showed her around chiang mai. Turns out she was just using me for a free tour guide and later blocked me on line...oh man, that hurt so much. I feel you about these Japanese women.
@tfyk5623
11 ай бұрын
gotta respect the hustle ngl
@Emmanuel661
11 ай бұрын
@@tfyk5623 Yeah, got me good.
@guutenks2498
11 ай бұрын
lmfaoo@@tfyk5623
@ptcosmos
11 ай бұрын
I respect their hustle, your lost!
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
Pretty much my normal experience here
@jackinjapan
11 ай бұрын
I think dating apps are trash regardless of what country you're in. Try approaching girls you like in public instead: "Hey, you're cute. My name's James." Most will reject, that's just how it is, so don't take it personally, but some will be receptive, and you'll go on to meet some amazing people you would have never otherwise met.
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
You right
@NegronAngel2828
11 ай бұрын
Yeah Japanese girls don’t get American humor so it can be awkward some times
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
For me all the time hahah
@ChimpoLust
29 күн бұрын
irony and sarcasm is not used in Japan (and a lot of Asia) as one of the common communication tools like in USA, Canada, UK
@rustneversleeps85
8 күн бұрын
@@ChimpoLust So it's autistic humor only? 😅
@SwitchMaxFX
11 ай бұрын
I dont date alot but damn im glad I made sure to stay far away from dating apps. Its weird but girls who primarily use dating apps just seem VERY different when it comes to girls who are mostly offline.
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
True
@giannilyanicks1718
9 ай бұрын
but meeting ladies outside is also difficult
@surfingpenguin2279
4 ай бұрын
your videos are raw and authentic and addicting man
@yungjamez312
4 ай бұрын
Thanks for watching king
@anathemafps5323
11 ай бұрын
Also something I'm noticing is that you're planning stuff for like 5 days+ into the future which gives the girl way too much time to think and potentially reject you. If you just started talking to someone try and make plans for like the next day once you feel the vibe over messages.
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
You right
@ZanicaKnight
11 ай бұрын
While yes this DOES make sense from a pickup perspective, with Japan in particular people make plans waaaaaay in advance. They’re busy-bodies and that’s more the norm for them. Though, that said, you’re better off with cold approach always and you can easily get a date that night or the next day but the catch is you have to have the guts to cold approach/nanpa
@_momosumomo
2 ай бұрын
I'll take the other side of this argument and say that's not the problem. Flaky people, that's the problem. Better to find out now than later that they are flaky.
@lullemans72
Ай бұрын
@@_momosumomo it's not so much flaky people as much as it's a lack of connection. do you think a chick is going to flake on someone she really wants to meet? no. but someone she doesn't really feel a connection with or attracted to? oh yes. especially if she gets to meet up with her friends instead or pursue some other dude who she into more.
@LifeofSlicey1
11 ай бұрын
Reminds me of when I had a date at a theater in Japan. Made plans, was talking to her up till a couple of hours before the movie. I went and bought tickets in advance, checked my phone, and realized she blocked me. I then had to convince the staff to refund one of my tickets because I was stood up haha.
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
Lmao exactly like me. Sorry to hear bro
@kittiefloyd
11 ай бұрын
I'd say forget about the girls attitude, count your blessings. You are in a country that you wished to be in and worked hard for it too. Many people would want to be in your position but maybe too lazy to do so. You weren't like them. You are a hard working person. I'm sure everything will be alright, as you said, it's a number's game. But it's good to take a break from playing sometimes. If it's not good for you and not going well for you, i'd say just let it go with the flow. I'm sure you'll find a nice girl eventually, it's not worth destroying your mental for it though. Being single is great in my opinion.
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
True that!
@ashkumar6048
2 ай бұрын
Not in your situation since I showed up to Japan older and married, but honestly, I couldn't deal with the mind games and bullshit. When I moved from my own birth country to Canada, I had a rule that I'd only commit to someone who was ready to move to another country with me i.e. experience being an immigrant herself. And I found someone after many years and she's with me in Japan right now. She is grateful that our life together has brought her such opportunity for growth. In your position I'd keep healthy, establish myself in Japan, and then only date other foreigners. They're the only people who'll understand what you went through and not completely screw you over just for shits and giggles because they all know how difficult it was to make this work and how precious time is. To value when someone is giving theirs to you, know what I mean.
@BGWDstudios
11 ай бұрын
The Japanese aversion to being upfront and straightforward is one of the hardest things to comprehend as an American. That, alongside the inability to really ever be sarcastic would definitely be one of my biggest aversions to moving there even if the opportunity presented itself.
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
Welp, both things that I talked about being issues for me in this video. Haha. It’s really a struggle every day
@jjq9360
11 ай бұрын
conservative apanese tend to keep their emotions/feelings inside and can be very formal when dating...like in a previous video james mentioned how much they care how they are perceived by others
@jackinjapan
11 ай бұрын
I would recommend deleting sarcasm from your conversational repertoire when engaging with Japanese people. In my experience it just confuses them, which I find hilarious and endearing.
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
@@jackinjapan lol as much as that’s good advice, I won’t be doing that
@jjq9360
11 ай бұрын
@@yungjamez312 yes exactly just be u haha but keep in mind of the cultural nuances in the mindset of traditional dating over there lol haha
@israeldavila27
11 ай бұрын
The humor part was funny, they don’t get as much sarcasm from what I understand. Ironically, that is funny to hear.
@hyzteria
11 ай бұрын
A quality woman is worth a million whores. Don't change yourself, just take the time to wait for someone who appreciates you. In order to find that you must also be worth such a person.
@DiamondFlame45
11 ай бұрын
You can’t have American dating expectations in Japan because the cultures are completely different! That alpha male giga Chad energy works in the US because hyper masculinity is a thing there! Not so much in Asia. It seems that in Japan the metrosexual skinny guy look is what women find attractive.
@sallymc965
10 ай бұрын
Exactly!
@FrickinCCDeVileV
2 күн бұрын
Pretty much the same all over asia. Many western guys just don't get that and don't adapt. A lot have had the 'nice' guy pounded out of them in the west.
@nosethiago
11 ай бұрын
Really interesting perspective. It just goes to show that even if someone is a “passport bro” (I’m not saying or implying that you are) there really is no escaping the current issues of modern dating.
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
True! It’s not perfect anywhere
@nyasha3132
2 ай бұрын
Once you set up the date, get off the damn phone! That's what builds up attraction and anticipation! Messaging back and forth several times every day dries the box up. Once the date is set, don't send any messages the day before or even two days before, to confirm if she’ll still make it. It only lets her know that you've been stood up once too many times and that too, dries the box up! Free game!!!
@gregtaylor9806
Ай бұрын
I think that’s what might have boned him on the second one tho. In the states, girls don’t like simping. But, it’s possible that’s a cultural difference. She might have been dying to hear back from him after confirming she was excited to go out with him. She might have been checking her phone very 30m wondering what he was gonna say. Then she got butthurt and stood him up.
@cristianhcm1914
Ай бұрын
Perfectly said bro. Get off the phone!
@ramdom_assortment
11 ай бұрын
Japan has the same issue that Germany has, guilt left over from WWII. The after match of WWII caused both countries to overcompensate and adopt a pro-censorship and submissive stance.
@thadtuiol1717
2 ай бұрын
Compared to the Germans, the Japanese have zero guilt for WW2. They don't even do guilt over here.
@ramdom_assortment
2 ай бұрын
@@thadtuiol1717 Ironic since since they were way, way worse than the Germans. I supposed having their country bombed has something to do with it, not that I condone what happened. The US government at that time was no better because of that.
@CrispDai
2 ай бұрын
Guilt from WWII lol
@ramdom_assortment
2 ай бұрын
@@CrispDai Yeah they just have a society based on submissiveness to authority for no fucking reason.
@Generallygeneral
Ай бұрын
lol the Japanese do NOT have guilt for their WWII because WWII is barely taught in schools and when it is covered its not accurate. They outright deny the r*pe of nanking, says America attacked Japan first, and dropped the atomic bombs for no reason.
@StephanTudose
Ай бұрын
A woman isn't worth forsaking your honesty or your morals. To whoever is reading this: Your moral frame isn't stopping you from getting a girl, it's only filtering out the ones that aren't good for you/not meant for you. Don't be ashamed of being yourself
@JesseInisanastrology
11 ай бұрын
Hey man, i am in a similar situation ro you. I grew up in america and live in east europe. I swear...good stuff usually happens when we let go and least expect it. I met my gf out here when i had just given up. I feel that for you. Courage man!
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
Great advice man thank you
@burnheartsworld2548
11 ай бұрын
Man I can totally agree. Sorry youve had such a tough dating time here in Japan. That was not cool of her to blow you off on your pricey reservation. Ive honestly never even had a date here. It was much easier in Thailand and Philippines. not sure why
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
Agreed bro. Thanks for watching
@ohmainzte
11 ай бұрын
I feel you man. I’ve had plenty of shitty date nights where I went home by myself thinking it would never work out with these chicks. The girl I ended dating long term was one of the types you talked about, lived overseas, traveled abroad, wasn’t into Japanese guys and culture as much when she came back. Sure, maybe she was only interested in me at first because I was American, but we made it 4 years, lived together, and were together through a lot of great times and shit times in life. Idk, maybe those girls are more likely (not always) to be more aligned with your values.
@_momosumomo
2 ай бұрын
Consider that being honest is different than being blunt. Also, I personally wouldn't want to be close with people who aren't honest. Having said that, doesn't mean that I always say the first thing that comes to the top of my mind in any old way. Not saying you are doing this just want to make sure that distinction is out there.
@Pako9713
Ай бұрын
Yeah, if someone is honest while being earnestly good willed, and soft spoken in good sense, then it is well recieved. But being honest like some dick with sarcasm and american way of making everything into a joke then people are hurt. At least those not used to american culture
@Samsaraindo
11 ай бұрын
How you did in America has little with how one will do in Japan. I agree with you that maybe chiller nicer guys might do better there. I struggled my whole life in America, but did fairly well in Japan (though this was early 2010s before apps were mainstream). I used mostly cold approach in bars and kokusai parties. I also smashed 2 girls from language exchange. However, my more "alpha" friends who did better than me in America, didnt necassirily do better than me in Japan. Im no soy boy, but I would say im chiller, built more like a Japanese guy (I am 5'7, 145 lbs) and no one sees me as a bad boy. Maybe there is something to that.
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
You right
@dgnano
2 ай бұрын
Kind of late, but I found that when dating in Osaka, normal Japanese girls were the worst girls to date. They were the flakiest, bait and switch the most, and catfished the most (heavily filtered photos, hiding weight/height, etc). Girls that could speak some sort of English, into English or Spanish music, have an expanded worldview/mindset, or have studied abroad understand me much more and were much better dates. Good luck bro, but consider dropping the normal or average japanese girls.
@UnimportantAcc
Ай бұрын
Based 大阪人 wife
@FreddieMercurytheSharkWrestler
Ай бұрын
Dude the filters are crazy!!
@berkerrang4149
28 күн бұрын
I met who i thought was my future woman in Osaka. She approached me at a club because i was just hanging by myself and she said "I came over because you seem like a good guy". We talked all night til the sun came up outside the club in dotonbori. We spoke more while i was there and even when i came back home. Next thing i know, one day i check instagram and she had either blocked me or deleted her account. Pissed me off fr.
@UnimportantAcc
28 күн бұрын
@@berkerrang4149 she found a bf so had to block u I'd guess
@vizx8574
26 күн бұрын
@@berkerrang4149 ghosting sucks, could have said directly . I guess has to do with introverted nature of society there
@citizenofcorona8783
11 ай бұрын
It's the same thing with having a job in Japan. They won't outright fire you, but if they want to get rid of you they just give you less and less work until you quit on your own.
@AlejandroMorales-cx2mh
10 ай бұрын
Less work and still get paid? that would be a dream and i would never quit.
@citizenofcorona8783
10 ай бұрын
@@AlejandroMorales-cx2mh It's not necessarily that though. They could just give you the shitty tasks no one wants to do . I feel like the same thing is done in the US to avoid lawsuits, but over there it is to save face.
@_HGTV_
11 ай бұрын
damn bro. ayee keep grindin dude! it is a numbers game man, but real talk with dating in Japan with the diff culture - must be difficult for sure. Just be you and genuine. Obviously with the culture there gotta play it relatively tame. Japanese like honesty, just they're about saving face. Be honest - be you, I think your approach with getting a date set up than talking on Line too much is perfect. Best to get a know a person face to face and not waste time chatting on text or line too much. Then yeah man just focus on having fun on your date and then as you mentioned you are taking it slow with simply having genuine conversations. That should make the girl feel more safe and comfortable. Youve got the rizz and personality, but I hear ya when it comes to the cultural differences. Girls in America would have laughed about your LINE joke lol. Rootin for ya man!
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
Thank you bro appreciate your support and advice
@_momosumomo
2 ай бұрын
Bro, pro tip, not all Japanese women who speak English are the same. In fact you'd probably have better dating results if you took away that limitation.
@MrAlexisato
2 ай бұрын
"dont like people too honest" ive seen many of your vids and turns out you are BRUTALLY honest :')
@omarkhalid3176
11 ай бұрын
Be careful bro dana white will be on ur ass if he sees this shit 😂😂
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
“THATS FUCKING ILLEGAL”
@Suedeash
Ай бұрын
Things will work out for you man, keep your chin up, you seem like a real dude so I'm confident things will get better. I know this is 10 months old but honestly it seems like you might be better suited for someone who isn't Japanese given the stuff you said, it's never a bad thing to stay true to your values and seek out people who are on your wavelength completely.
@maibeppu9
Ай бұрын
Its very important that you pay for the first 3-4 dates and drinks after plus desserts if they are on the menu.Winkwink. Plus taxi fare home. Be gallant and chivalrous.
@charliesykes4006
24 күн бұрын
I’ve dated in many countries, particularly in Asia and I agree with you 100% about the Japanese dating scene
@tommyX.808
9 ай бұрын
Bro I hear you. You're being authentic. Love It. Greetings From Germany
@yungjamez312
9 ай бұрын
Shoutout to Germany! I used to speak German actually but unfortunately forgot most of it
@tommyX.808
9 ай бұрын
yooo ma man in Tokeyo @@yungjamez312
@tommyX.808
9 ай бұрын
you're still there aren't you
@stevef7798
Ай бұрын
Your candid honesty is great man. Don't worry about it - all this experience will help you avoid the bombs later when it counts (i.e. marriage). And if you feel you don't have enough experience when the time comes, don't get married. Actually, don't get married...
@antoinecappelleri185
18 күн бұрын
As someone who is older i tell you this in honesty They smell your neediness and that you have no purpose….get your path and once your busy in your path your neediness will disappear and so will the woman apear.
@kawasaki_81
Ай бұрын
Thank you for your wisdom and sharing your experiences!
@igloo2862
11 ай бұрын
I would give the girls that are interested in foreigners a second chance… but if this guy is struggling in Japan, it’s over before it started for most of us ☠️
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
Lol nah you’re right. I’m unfairly biased against them probably. And nah man, I’m especially picky and disagreeable tbh. Like o said, a lot of girls have said that I’m intimidating to them here. I think if you’re a lil more easy-going you should do much better than I do
@FrederikEngelmand
2 ай бұрын
for real, if blonde hair blue eyes chad is struggling. wtf is the point?
@darrynchun8371
2 ай бұрын
Just be you brother…stand your ground…🤙🏽👍🏻
@lloydhenry3451
11 ай бұрын
You make some great points dude! I was lucky as a foreigner I met an Asian girl when I was still pretty young and still with 6 years later and it was online too . But before that I was in the same boat . You can easily beat yourself up and blame yourself And it’s painful when you do put in the effort / and are honest just being yourself and in return you are rejected almost for the most bizzare or no reason at all . Sometimes Women just like to be complicated but I found a great girl when I stopped trying so hard . Being a gent , chilled out , patient , funny will get you the right date soon enough bro
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
You’re right bro. Thanks for the good advice. As I said in the video, I know that im just salty in the moment. I’ll get over it and come back to normalcy lol
@koffiegast
11 ай бұрын
What I really dont get though is that they dont even read your message. Like you get a date that she smiles, interacts, you have even all sorts of weird things in common, and she been flirting with her hair and all, and then.. POOF nothing. Just not even reading your message. The only option is to forget. Not worth your time.
@lancei2235
11 ай бұрын
Time for you to go home
@Twink5
11 ай бұрын
Appreciate the raw honesty
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
Thanks for watching bro
@TraXEdu
5 күн бұрын
we all go through this
@michaelm9621
Ай бұрын
Don't give up man, women can be a pain if you keep finding the bad ones. But once you find the right one it's worth it.
@NanatsukiBenio
Ай бұрын
"Be Honest" yes man be honest! those are bad apples... good Japanese girls would never fuck you up like that... tbh Japanese girls love honest guys.. own experience.
@zuphu
Ай бұрын
The beginning of a villain arc
@Henry-xs6kt
11 ай бұрын
Hey dude. Sorry for not stopping by these days. Lot of work irl. Barely have time to sit on the pc. Hope you are doing great. Love ur videos. Make sure to keep going forward
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
Thanks bro!! Appreciate yiu
@blubblubee
Ай бұрын
you’re good looking by western standards. depending on the light, you can look like Luke from Gilmore Girls or a Philips Academy preppy. it’s kind of fascinating to see you come to terms with being a fetish abroad.
@Manubombz
11 ай бұрын
that situation with the girl not understanding sarcasm would totally piss me off aswell man sarcasm just doesn't translate well into japanese ive found except for like some situations it kind of sucks cuz alot of us western guys are really sarcastic and use sarcastic humor to tell a joke shit actually sucks so bad that it doesn't work well in Japanese.
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
Haha yeah it happens to me every day here and I refuse to give it up
@o7juan
11 ай бұрын
Although you shouldn't tell ppl your bad at messaging lol Just talk to them how you normally talk to a friend since you both don't know each other, and If someone haven't messaged back in a day or 2 I'd feel like they weren't that interested in the talking anymore either even if we scheduled plans in the near future.
@hafluq2979
2 ай бұрын
Honestly bro you dodged a bullet with those women especially the one who changed plans. That just saved you time in finding out what their true characters really were instead of wasting any dates and money on them. Eventually, you'll find a woman that shares the same values you do but she probably ain't gonna be on the dating apps and I think you'd appreciate that aspect of her more.
@matimproves
11 ай бұрын
Go to southeast Asia and try dating there, you will have a great time 🎉
@Petrovich2049
11 ай бұрын
Because dating apps ruin women. If a woman is on a dating app, she is not worth dating. And it doesn’t make sense to change yourself to what women ’want’ because they don’t know what they want. Focus on building your charisma and language instead. To find girls, go to a popular park or some walking street on weekend evenings (not nightlife partying) and try approaching groups of 2-3 women. That way you know she is just hanging out with her friend and they feel more safe than 1-1. Don’t do sleazy pickup bullshit, just try to have a normal conversation and if it goes well ask to meet later for a coffee
@anathemafps5323
11 ай бұрын
this shit does not work in 2023 especially if u are alone solo-approaching a group of girls lol they will think ur weird af. At an event or bar is way more normal then some random park or street.
@Petrovich2049
11 ай бұрын
@@anathemafps5323 2-3 is not really a group, often times they have little to talk about and are just stuck on their phones. And as a foreigner in Asian country it’s much easier to have a basic conversation. You automatically have easy topics to talk about. Say that you are still learning language and want to practice and learn more about culture. I’m living in Vietnam though so it’s quite different from Japan of course.
@dinosaurnugg3ts
11 ай бұрын
i watched ufc 294 as well. dope as hell
@paoloap.
Ай бұрын
What’s the fancy hip Izakaya you went on your own?
@TwentyThrill
2 ай бұрын
Just the fact that there are so many people around you mocking/staring, just being racist and you go "yoooo, kombanwa! 😁". I've been living in Asia 5 years, I'm tired of that shit, I want to learn to do like you but it just pisses me off. You are a fucking resilient man.
@tartempion5414
4 ай бұрын
That's funny-I’ve had pretty much the same experience as you. I’ve had girls swipe on me and start conversations, only to find excuses not to meet or cancel just before the date. I like sarcasm and dark humor, but I rarely use it with Japanese girls because they tend to take it seriously. Like you, I uninstall and reinstall the app when I’m in the mood, but I don’t waste time on it-I either quickly set up a date or move on. I usually do this while on the toilet, basically. I play the numbers game: once I feel it's not worth the effort anymore, I stop. One thing that has worked well for me is using the same bar in Shibuya with small sofas, so when I sit with a girl, we’re already in physical contact. Then, if things go well, I know the way to the love hotel or karaoke if a bit more persuasion is needed. To be honest, dating can be really annoying. I believe if my Japanese were better, my options would be greater, but I’m not complaining. You can’t always win anyway. Good luck, bro-I think you’re doing well regardless. (I hope I haven't offended anyone with my comment. I love women and treat them with respect, despite how it may appear.)
@VinVin21969
10 ай бұрын
Is what you mean dating for long term or something like one night stand?
@Cherrypie210
3 ай бұрын
Next time just call the restaurant and cancel. If you give them a call before the reservation they will cancel for you most of the time
@Jonymago
11 ай бұрын
Out of curiosity, do you pay for these apps or are you going 100% free on the swiping? Because I don't really get much using them for free, maybe a match once a week. Then again I'm definitely not as good looking as you, just as average as average gets.
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
Hell nah. You got me fkd up if you think I’m paying for a dating app
@Jonymago
11 ай бұрын
@@yungjamez312 I gotcha', was just curious.
@Jonymago
8 ай бұрын
@@YWYW476 You should try Pairs, if you can speak and write in Japanese it's waaaaaay better than these lousy western apps
@bailey309
11 ай бұрын
“Making a reservation” for a first date with someone you’ve never met is a bit 重い。Cut the lame Line messaging gags, dude.
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
lol agreed. Figured I would try a diff approach and yep…not worth it
@alexlee9109
2 ай бұрын
Try walking around the city or park, not quiet area to make her feel safe and not feel pressure to talk around other people. Better than just sitting face to face.
@MeLikeTennis
Ай бұрын
The ultimate problem is that pretty girls get spoiled with a ton load of messages each day as well as matches. Any and I emphasize any sort of suspicion or disinterest, and your blocked. Theyre sense of gratefulness and appreciation is super low. You could be a gentleman and she would feel like she doesnt owe you anything. I'm talking about a reply to say sorry or closure. My advice. Dont go for 8.5's. Even an 8 makes a massive difference.
@overthewebb
11 ай бұрын
Nice video, but you are going about this all wrong. I haven't dated in Japan, but I've spoken to lots of Japanese women on language apps and zoom calls etc. I have a few long-term female friends there. The biggest mistake is a general dating one. Stop using dating apps. You need to approach women directly, like it or not, you will have much more success that way. On dating apps women are being messaged by hundreds of guys daily. So your attention is valueless to them, they have all the control. On the street you have much less competition and you immediately look a much higher-value guy to a female for having the guts to do it. For example, go in a bookstore, look for women at the English books section, ask someone if they could recommend a book. Or is she picks up a book, say 'I wouldn't recommend that one' and smile, then talk and ask them to go for a coffee. Or in the street, ask someone if they know if there is a nice cafe around the area, if they say yes, ask them if they want to come with you as your friend stood you up. That kinda thing. You will get turned down, but you also will get accepted sometimes Secondly, they don't get sarcasm at all. Unless they are from Kansai. Kansai people all get sarcasm and have similar humour. You also have to remember, with Line and online dating, women are already worried about scams and safety, so joking about messaging you costing them money is gonna freak them out. Just my two cents worth. Keep up the good vids
@jackinjapan
11 ай бұрын
I agree with everything here except using things like books as your "in". I used to do that kind of thing when I started out, and there were so many occasions where I'd chat for upwards of 5 minutes with girls I thought seemed super receptive, but who would then go on to reject the contact exchange. Just walk over and tell them they're cute. That's it. Don't have any lines prepared and wing the conversation from start to finish. If it's meant to be, it will happen. That way, when they do reject, you can quickly move onto the next one.
@overthewebb
11 ай бұрын
@@jackinjapan He said he was a bit more shy in prior vids, so indirect approaches would be easier and probably work better with him. Direct and indirect doesn't matter too much either way, it's about how the conversation goes after that. Both can work just as well. He will have to wing any conversation depending on the situation anyway. The number one thing is confidence
@jackinjapan
11 ай бұрын
@@overthewebb If direct approaches are scary it means you should do them all the more. We should all aspire to leave our comfort zones. "Shyness" can be overcome through forced boldness and tenacity. If indirect approaches is a stepping stone to that, then great.
@overthewebb
11 ай бұрын
@@jackinjapan There is no right and wrong here ffs. Direct approaches can scare away some women, rather than attract them. Some women love it, some women hate it. Some women think is disingenuous. All that matters is what happens after the initial approach. Indirect approaches are much easier to start with, which is why I said it. You really have made a mountain out of a molehill here
@laptopkiller2861
11 ай бұрын
Alright at this point you should just date dudes
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
👀👀
@berkerrang4149
28 күн бұрын
Don't feel bad, i'm the only white guy who hasn't gotten laid in japan when ive been there, but im also not one of those aggressive chaser types
@ChrisStormer
8 ай бұрын
Stay true to yourself. Eventually someone will appreciate your frankness
@jjq9360
11 ай бұрын
i think that girl ghosted u not because she wasnt interested in you but because she thinks you didn't take her seriously enough.. she thinks that because you didnt respond to her last text message on thursday night which you clarified in this video that you thought you didn't need to because you thought that you and her both agreed thru text to meet on saturday night (completely understandable)......but in her mind, she takes first dates very seriously and meeting a man very seriously as I mentioned in my other comment --- she expected you to put more effort into texting in getting to know her first - she expected a reply from her last text message before meeting you like maybe a confirmation message......also, this is my personal theory but she might've thought you were too hasty with trying to meet her without puttiing too much texting effort which means she thinks you could easily arrange dates with other girls the following weeks...OR another theory of mine is that---she thinks you were testing to see if she was relationship/girlfriend material - she thinks that by rejecting you on the first date after you havent put much effort - she thinks it will show you that shes a potential to be taken seriously because she thinks her action of flaking/rejecting you shows that she flakes/rejects other men as well -------thats one of the traditional/conservative courting/dating rules and yeah its a bit like playing games so its really frustrating it has nothing to do with you james and not really anything to do with her since shes a mainland japanese girl with no experience with foreigners ---- its just the conservative traditional cultural standards that makes dating in japan super hard for foreigners to interpret and get used to sumtimes... maybe try texting her again she might really appreciate it or consider this viewpoint when dating other similar types of japanese girls but i completely understand ur frustration ---it was rude of her to not follow up with you but again its also cultural misunderstanding and because shes a mainland japanese girl with no experience with english and foreigners...she mightve expected u to understand her
@jjq9360
11 ай бұрын
western dating is completely different --- people from western countries and not only from there but also from westernized asian countries like phillipines or thailand are more upfront and straightforward and theres no connotation or underlying meaning behind text messages compared to japanese dating or other dating norms in other conservative asian countries
@jjq9360
11 ай бұрын
i think the fun of dating a traditional japanese girl is enjoying the beauty of learning the conservative traditional traits that she has and she also learns about the carefree nature of a foreign man
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
Thanks for the input bro you may be right
@jjq9360
11 ай бұрын
@@yungjamez312 yeah of course bro, just think dating traditiional japanese girls like 1940s--1950s american dating lol...these types of girls tend to overthink before sending a text or making a move/reacting to your text messaage which is a green flag for a girl....
@jjq9360
11 ай бұрын
@@yungjamez312 and tbh i dont think its just exclusive to traditional conservative japanese girls.... there are western, european girls also display these kinds of similar traits too such as not hooking up, taking time to respond, which they now term as "high-value woman" behavior lol as long as its a back and forth thing and she has flirted with you then it means shes interested...if shes not she would immediately friendzone you and ghost you right away
@thomasorif3653
Ай бұрын
The first case was 100% because she thought it was a scam. People are extremely wary of this because it's so widespread in Japan. Even when there's only weak evidence, they just dont wanna take chances and tbh I dont blame them. Not to mention you're good looking so she must have thought it was too good to be true
@roarbertbearatheon8565
11 ай бұрын
Have you considered that it isn't simply just your honesty, but what you're being honest about? It's entirely possible that how you are is turning people off, not that you're honest about it. I can't imagine a charming man with no faults who was honest about that would have much trouble. Also, you should probably end transmissions instead of just not saying anything lol. Like a "word. I'ma beat off and go to bed see you monday" goes a long way. Not that you wouldn't still get flakes, but hey, what do I know
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
You could be right for sure
@nonnozomi720
2 ай бұрын
I wonder if some Japanese people are watching your video. But I am Japanese and I watched some of your video. I really appreciate you respect Japanese culture. You even went to Izakaya without cancelling the reservation. Sorry you had a bad experience with the girl, but this happens anywhere and especially because those were happening online. Some Japanese people including me don't get American jokes a lot of times. Please don't be discouraged. I see your frustration, but people in Japan will understand you and right people will be around you!!
@yungjamez312
2 ай бұрын
Thanks for the great comment!
@tommyX.808
7 ай бұрын
Ohh man today I remembered our talk here. I was fishing a bit on okcupid, mostly to stay in training and to test some psychology moves. But I can't stop making stupid jokes. We wrote about smoking weed and I had this _wayy over the top_ weed picture on my profile, so I thought she will understand that I'm kidding. Well I made a playful remark about being a cop an having to arrest her now... An she was gone with the wind ;)
@sysLink15
2 ай бұрын
Have you tried bar hopping or going to events like a concert? The idea is, instead of molding yourself into someone you're not, a shitstorm darude sandstorm so to speak, you find places to meet women with similar interests. Fuck em up dood, never give up!!
@RobertDniroLHC
11 ай бұрын
What app did u use to meet these girls? Can u give us the intel brev?
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
Mostly bumble. Online dating sucks ass, but if you have to - bumble in japan
@Rays91546
Ай бұрын
4:53 I don't know much about line but that was supposed to be a joke? Personally would've just asked to trade lines. I find you can just stay on the app for the first date and then trade contacts afterwards if anything.
@FrickinCCDeVileV
2 күн бұрын
16:45 vvomen in general want things sugarcoated or at least with some caveat phrasing added. But you can still get your point accross, you have to be the smarter person.
@jg8060
11 ай бұрын
UFC 294 was one of the worst cards ever imo. Crazy amount of cheating on the prelims (all from a certain group of people), a no contest that should've resulted in a DQ, and two 11 day short notice replacements on the main card. Honestly The UFC should avoid Abu Dhabi for a while after that embarrassment.
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
I was tired….I’ll just say that
@denizthebig
11 ай бұрын
idk but i wouldnt go on dates etc and make a day. Just go into clubs on the weekend and talk to girls and just go with one to the hotel after the party if the vibes are there.. but i guess u tried that one also.. like most say its a numbers game... dont do expensive dates in restaurants, 1-2 drinks some flirts a lil bit dance a bit small talk.. should be enough at least thats what i think
@denizthebig
11 ай бұрын
and maybe u give too serious vibes ? like marriage vibes if u get what i mean.. hmm its hard to tell man we bois here really dont know shit about these japanese girls i guess
@adeptuslupulus6729
11 ай бұрын
UFC 294 was friggin great!! I was expecting that Islam would take the win but not in that way!! And now, about dating, nah man, im way out of that game. East and West are the same but different in that matter. If you ask me, i'd rather stick to my own hobbies. I love spending my time doing street photography, training jiu jitsu, so on, so forth. Girls are nice and all, but dont have time for their "mind games"
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
I’m basically right there with ya at this point. Asexual. And yeah man Islam is a beast. I’m a fan
@tfyk5623
11 ай бұрын
Life's easier though with a partner though. No reason to shut out 50% of the population because a couple of bad experiences.
@developerdeveloper67
11 ай бұрын
Surprised that you even got some success with getting girls to go to a love hotel with you on the first date. Two of the girls I dated, including one that is currently my wife, wouldn't go to a love hotel and would be offended by that offer. Maybe this is a conservative thing, not sure, but there is some stigma to it. I understand that you are in a stage in your life that you just want to have fun and get some exp, get your "count" up lol, I get you, I have been there. But maybe you are scaring girls off because they can see you just want to have sex with them. I would try to go for the absolute most attractive and interesting girl you can find. Go for your dream girl but give it a real shot, like you want something serious. Maybe you will be more successful with that.
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
True that’s why I said I changed my approach this time and took it way more seriously
@cosborne06
7 ай бұрын
Three words. Tokyo Hentai Club
@thadude3
11 ай бұрын
America girls are doing the same thing, happening everywhere
@MrSilk13642
11 ай бұрын
What? Dude, datings been great for me. Idk what you're talking about! /s
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
Got my azz
@jjq9360
11 ай бұрын
keep trying james and ull find a genuine true japanese girl
@jjq9360
11 ай бұрын
yes japanese can be very indirect and girls there are super conservative...maybe she thinks you shouldve put in more effort in texting..they act like princesses over there....conservative asian girls take meeting a man for the first time very seriously...i think she wanted u to chase her
@jjq9360
11 ай бұрын
im so sorry this happened to u james
@ramdom_assortment
11 ай бұрын
Dude if you want to stay in Japan, if you want to stay I'd suggest moving to a place like Okinawa.
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
Yeah def trying to get out of Tokyo in general at some point
@lullemans72
Ай бұрын
18:18 i just found this video. so, 10 months later, how are you feeling bro? better, same or worse? if i may offer a few observations: 1. for the first girl, it's highly likely that she thought you were a scammer, a host, or some kind of male prostitute based on how you told her, in formal japanese, that messages would cost money + extra money for night time. emphasis on FORMAL JAPANESE and NIGHT TIME. you may have thought you were being funny, but unless you included smileys or emojis or made it really obvious you were joking, she probably thought you were being serious. but what also matters is what you guys' vibe was like before you wrote that message. were you guys joking and flirting around beforehand, or was the tone more serious? if so, your sudden message about payment likely just came off the wrong way to her. 2. for the second chick, what made her flake on you was likely the fact that you broke that momentum you had going with her with daily messages. messaging each other daily, only for you to skip messaging her one day by not replying to her last message where she made it very clear she was looking forward to seeing you, made her think something was off. does every chick react like this? no. was it a bit shitty of her to change her mind just because of that? yes. but if you can learn a lesson from that, try not to break the momentum, especially when you're setting up a date with a chick and she's sharing her enthusiasm about meeting you. 3. stop taking girls you meet for the first time on fancy dates that require a reservation. save that shit for girlfriends or regulars. on the very first date, keep shit simple. meet her at a coffee shop or something, or a drink in the park. make it easy for the both of you to bail in case it doesn't go as expected. not having any plan at all is also not good, but making reservations is just putting in way too much effort from the get go which will lead to disappointment if she flakes. 4. as for reservations, check their website. unless you're going to a REALLY fancy restaurant, most places allow you to cancel without additional cost. if you tell them on the morning of, there generally should be no issue to cancel. some places will just automatically cancel your reservation if you don't show up after 15 minutes. places that require you to pay for a cancellations will typically ask for a credit card in advance to secure the reservation. 5. yes, japanese women generally don't value guys being overly direct or upfront like in the west. that doesn't mean you need to be a 草食男子, it just means you need to be more subtle with how you carry yourself. rather than being too upfront with your words or demeanor, LEAD with your actions. actions over words. if you lead her back to your place, a love hotel or the bedroom, there's no need for you to be brutally honest or aggressive. she already knows what's up simply by you taking action. i'm not sure if you're going to read this or if you're still feeling frustrated, but those were my two yen. i hope it helps you or anyone else reading this.
@airbnbphotography
4 ай бұрын
see it as a UFC fight get up and keep fighting ! Adjust to the culture and learn the dating strategy from your experience.. if dating would be too easy life would be boring !
@yungjamez312
4 ай бұрын
Great advice
@ptcosmos
11 ай бұрын
Barking nonsense on this one brother
@C_Qianglan
2 ай бұрын
1st girl thought you were a scammer when you made that joke. It's a common thing now where scammers use dating apps to do their sh-t. It was a bad timing to make that joke.. 2nd girl is a high probability of a fake, with the sole goal to waste your time. A girl that's really into you would cancel everything to get into that date. Online dating is terrible right now. Just go nampa
@Draous1
2 ай бұрын
@16:15 the problem you are describing is the Christian heritage against others. its not an east or west or country thing. in Christianity where you have Jesus calling himself truth and saying things like if you think the bad thought but don't do its as bad as doing. because if you keep thinking on a bad thing you may eventually normalize it in your head and do it. Where as almost all other world views have things to the point where even if you did it and didn't get caught, there is no in world shame thus its considered ok. so it comes down to integrity. Not saying other cultures don't have integrity but am saying the basis for that integrity matters.
@K-Sober
11 ай бұрын
Always will be a numbers game when it comes to dating app. Sucks what happened to you bro, but it is what it is. Same shit at the US with flaking except the way Japanese girls can't understand sarcasm due to their culture. Gotta keep tryin with the dating apps don't give up bro maybe you'll find that girl even if it's corny what I said. Love the videos btw
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
You right!!
@olliepopAMV
2 ай бұрын
5:12 lol
@airbnbphotography
4 ай бұрын
maybe you choosing the wrong girls the difficult ones or Japanese Woman are just difficult. Just go with the flow, don't plan to hard, I meet a girl while ago I let her choose where to go and plan. My excuse was I am new here have no clue where to go
@yungjamez312
4 ай бұрын
You right!
@StandardLoop
11 ай бұрын
Sounds frustrating
@jamesbrown4364
Ай бұрын
makes you realize why they have such bad birth rates haha
@diegooo0725
11 ай бұрын
Maybe go for offline girls? Or is it just more difficult?
@yungjamez312
11 ай бұрын
Nah def a better situation but I don’t ever go out and have no time to do street pick up ot anything lol
@bailey309
11 ай бұрын
Join a club. A mixed sports club, hiking etc. anything but just get off the apps.
@jjq9360
11 ай бұрын
last thing i want to note james, from your video, when you mentinoned that after she flaked on you and responded hours later that she made plans with a friend because she thought there wasnt any date -----thats a green flag...why? because its as simple as because she followed up with you on what she did and why she didnt meet u for the date....if she wasnt interested in you at all she wouldve left you with no explanation... just think that the reason for her not responding before the arranged date was because she mightve been angry with you that you didnt text her back the whole day on friday lol and like i mentioned iin my other long a^^ comment ---she thinks that youre treating her as an option lol for not texting her on friday and instead texting her on the day of which to her ---in her mind, that you dont take her time and effort seriously enough.....traditional japanese women or traditional women in general put alot of effort into themselves and take their times very seriously lol
@tommyX.808
9 ай бұрын
and by the way, I make the same kind of jokes on dating apps and not every women get's it :D don't worry, you're great man.
@MajesticFerret
9 ай бұрын
I don't feel like you're allowed to complain when your game is this unapologetically bad...i mean come on. If you tried to pull this with American chicks they either wouldn't match with you or go out with you at all, or would be visibly pissed if they showed up on a date and you have nothing solid planned.
@Paganmensch
11 ай бұрын
Japan is notoriously difficult for dating. The only worse country in Asia for dating is South Korea. I was in Japan for three weeks and only got like four matches on bumble, and zero matches on Tinder. The only girl with whom I actually went on a date I met through cold approaches on the street. It wasn’t always that difficult though.
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