Hi, Dr. Nader You really nailed it with this one. Most of the depression that we have is caused by thinking life should be fair. When in fact it really isn't. Acceptance is the key. Thank you again.👍
@DrRamiNader
2 жыл бұрын
You are welcome as always Jayde! Thank you for your ongoing support of the channel!
@joanryan2242
2 жыл бұрын
This is me in a nutshell.I am really trying to take care of my well being. Im constantly thinking of others. God help me .Thank you and God bless your work.
@DrRamiNader
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Joan - I'm glad you found the video helpful. The first step is awareness of these depression-fueling thinking patterns. Once a person knows about them, they can begin to challenge these assumptions and try different ways of thinking. If you are interested in learning more about cognitive therapy, I'd encourage you to take a look at some of these videos in this playlist: kzitem.info/door/PLG_XiSJeP3s1NZR-doEUg3f2HqfVHmmFA I wish you all the best in your efforts.
@elenora67
2 жыл бұрын
Another great video. I needed to hear the part about life not being fair it just is. That’s something I question a lot and need to accept
@DrRamiNader
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Almira - glad you found it helpful. I find the "life is fair" assumption one of the more challenging to change, because it really feels like that's the way the world should be, even though it isn't.
@dannn6555
2 жыл бұрын
Dr Nader, I just found your videos and they are great and really helping me to understand some things about myself. This one especially was great and described pretty much everything I tend to do. So thank you and thank you for all the videos you're making. They are a big help and I look forward to more and the other ones in this series too.
@DrRamiNader
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. I'm glad you are finding the videos helpful.
@petersharp7644
2 жыл бұрын
I think I'm one of those who believe that anger is bad. My late Dad was easily angered and as a child and teenager I feared his anger because he was terrifying when roused. Not violent but very, very loud and threatening. Mother was very much the opposite. I resolved not to be like him. So when I feel anger I do everything I can to suppress it because I do not want others to see it as it seems like a failure on my part. Also the belief that potentially anger could result in pushing people away from me and causing upset. So yes I do get angry from time to time but I've always thought of it as a negative emotion. I know that's wrong as it can be positive , as Dr Nader says in this wonderful video.
@DrRamiNader
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your experiences Peter. It's so important to see anger for what it is - an important emotion, not a negative one.
@michelekurlan2580
Жыл бұрын
In my experience,the thing about putting others first is a recipe for resentment which leads to anger, which leads to denial and rejection of that anger and turning the anger inward ( swallowing the anger),leading to depression then the vicious cycle repeats. The solution always deceives one into believing that putting others first is way out of the depression but it's just a doorway in. Guilty as charged. I have made more people,than I'd like to admit, into projects. The "glory" is short-lived and it's a form of "using", in this case,people. "People are people,not projects" (anon coined this one..lol)
@DrRamiNader
Жыл бұрын
You are absolutely correct. I actually have a video about this very topic coming out in a few weeks, so keep an eye out for that.
@casario2808
19 күн бұрын
Personally, I became a "people pleaser" at a young age because it was a way of (seemingly) controlling the worry and lack of certainty and unreliability of the world around me. The world was a scary place, I wasn't safe etc. but somehow if I put other people first then it would somehow be OK...safer or less threatening. So in my case the behavior of people pleasing, while itself not a "bad" trait, can be more a symptom of early trauma that then triggers depression. Learning how to find a balance and how to say "no" is very helpful. 100% true to that it can lead to major resentment, and who needs that on top of everything else. I think it really comes down to looking deeper case by case and asking "is this really what I truly want to do" ? I've said "yes" to taken on things I didnt "want" to do but there would be good reasons to do it (e.g. financial security and needs of family); but many times I just said "yes" because I have been hardwired to it and there was no real good reason to.
@bezosphere
2 жыл бұрын
This video is GOLD! 🏆
@DrRamiNader
2 жыл бұрын
Glad you found it helpful! I hope you will enjoy the two other videos in this series as well.
@JoeJoe-vm9si
2 жыл бұрын
I think I do an inverse variation of the just world theory. I hold a basic assumption that I've been wronged and deserve justice, and I look for validation that I've been mistreated, or ridiculed, or deprived of what is due to me. And spiraling through these thoughts validates this core belief. There's almost a pleasure involved in thinking through some way in which someone slighted me and the resulting confrontation to assert my point of view. The problem is, the incendiary incidents are either imaginary or they are someone's faults blown way out of proportion. Very difficult to get out of this feeling once the spiral starts. I think catastrophism and filtering are also at work here. It helps to remember that others are simply human, not perfect, and we all make mistakes. And someone's faults don't mean they are purposely disrespecting me.
@heather5610
2 жыл бұрын
Sometimes I need to just have a rant when I'm hurt and angry. That's not to say, use your friends as a sounding board. Sometimes I hear a whole new perspective and it makes me less hurt. Other times my feelings are validated and that can be soothing too. My friends are my saving grace and I hope I provide the same comfort for them.
@DrRamiNader
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Heather - you are absolutely correct in that friends and social support can be so helpful to give a person a different perspective or to just provide a safe space to vent.
@heather5610
2 жыл бұрын
@@DrRamiNader yes I don't know what I would do without them. Takes a long time to curate a close circle of people that you trust absolutely. I don't think any one person can be everything to you we all bring different skills and perspectives and are different age groups some of us but everyone has a valid input and ultimately whoever I choose to speak to I usually feel better for it.
@neginpedersen1506
2 жыл бұрын
Great great examples , thanks for another helpful video
@DrRamiNader
2 жыл бұрын
You're very welcome as always Negin
@loganclements4332
2 жыл бұрын
The world is a better place because you are in it. You are very logical and rational person. For this I give you the greatest honor I can give you a philosophy which you might find very rational itself. But it makes me think you’ve already become a PhD in it. Objectivism by Ayn Rand and supported by Nathaniel Brandon who was also a psychologist.
@anthonychris7367
2 жыл бұрын
*Microdosing capsules & tablets, i.e, a medicine which requires low usage & dosage especially for radiation therapy.*
@turkialbadrani3249
2 жыл бұрын
hi dr .. how can i contact you to get a consultation ?
@DrRamiNader
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Turki - I am only able to provide consultation with people who live in BC, Canada, as that is where I am registered and licensed to practice.
@michelekurlan2580
2 жыл бұрын
Common thread seems to be black and white thinking
Пікірлер: 26