Why do we feel so depressed when we initially stop drinking? Annie provides some great information on why we might feel so down during the first few weeks after giving up drinking as well as why it will all be worth it in the long run.
Depression After Giving Up Drinking
Many people, especially at this time of year, find themselves wondering how to deal with the sadness. They are dealing with regret for the things they've done. They are facing the harm they've caused to their body and to others once they've stopped drinking. Depression after giving up drinking is common and can be a huge trigger.
It's All Chemical
So first of all, I want to say something in general about the first weeks, or months, of not drinking. There are a lot of feelings that you're feeling that are totally chemical and they're not necessarily going to be pleasant. Don't expect that this is going to be what you're signing up for in the long term. You're not signing up for this life of complete misery. And I know that it can feel like that at first because you're having this major time of healing where your brain actually has to get back in balance. So you've been feeding it alcohol, your brain's been trying to maintain homeostasis, trying to protect itself, and it's been doing this in a whole host of ways and it's been producing other counter chemicals, including dynorphin, that bring down the pleasure. And interestingly pleasure is one of the few things on the planet that we become tolerant to.
Tolerance
The reason we become tolerant of pleasure is that just like eating two dozen chocolate chip cookies, the last one is going to make you feel sick. Our bodies trying to say okay, no more of that. Let's steer us on the right path and get a salad before we eat the next chocolate chip cookie. With something like alcohol that becomes addictive, we actually create a vacuum within our brains, and our brains if we're drinking every day just can't continue to compensate. When you immediately take the alcohol away it's like taking the rug out from under something and your brain has to be like okay, wait I have to get back to my normal levels. And that takes time.
It Get's Better
If you talk to anybody who has gone through this journey for many years and made it through the depression after giving up drinking, they almost resoundingly say it's better. I would echo that 100 percent. It's better than what you thought. You come to know yourself and come to have to deal with all that stuff that you've kind of been talking about. So you know the regret, the harm you've done to others. I would say that right now is the time for just self-love and self-forgiveness. When you hear these words coming into your mind, I like this trick I use. If I hear something or I start to feel really depressed or guilty, I say okay, what did I just say? I try to rewind my thinking and I try to listen to the tone of voice and usually especially during my drinking days and the early days of not drinking it was something like, Annie, what is wrong with you? How could you have done that? I would listen to how I would talk to myself.
Self-Love
I came to this realization that how I was talking to myself, I wouldn't even talk to an enemy that way. I would have too much common courtesy. In fact, I wouldn't even talk to a stranger that way, much less somebody who I love. Self-love is such a cheesy thing in a way but really you're all you've got. So if you aren't putting yourself first, it is the most selfless act you can do to put yourself first. Once you are whole, you can start to take care of everybody else in your life, and then you can start to give of yourself. You can't give of yourself when there's nothing to give because you haven't invested in yourself.
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Interview with Dr. Jaffe: • How long does it take ...
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