I had a lady reach out to me and ask the question, "why do men hold onto women when they know they aren't ready for a relationship?" She also said that we prefer to keep you engaged enough for you not to move on, but also not be too close to require anything from them. In other words, men like to breadcrumb women.
This is a great question, because this absolutely happens to alot of women. As a matter of fact, I kinda did this to my wife at one point. Not in the spirit of wanting to string her along though. It was because, I didn't feel that I was in the proper space to give her what she deserved. You see, I always viewed her as a woman that you didn't play games with and I felt that I would've fell short had I dove head first into a serious relationship with her prematurely. This lead me to say those famous word... "I gotta work on myself."
How many women have heard that? I'm willing to bet that most have heard this phrase by the time they were twenty five years old. Some men that said it were just being honest about where they were and some were just running game, because they wanted to keep you around without having to commit. But the bottom line is that a whole bunch of women have heard this and most probably did not respond the right way.
Question: How should a woman respond when a man says this to them?
Answer: They should respond by disappearing and living their lives.
I know it could be hard to do this if you've been dealing with a man for a long period of time, but the reality of the situation is your man is basically trying to tell you that he doesn't want to be in the relationship. You may not have done anything wrong. As a matter of fact you could be the best woman he's ever had, but that still doesn't change the fact that he isn't ready for you or he just doesn't really want you. Either way you're not going to get what you deserve from that man. He's not going to make you happy if you stick around and try to hold on to the relationship. As a matter of fact, you're probably going to end up hating him or resenting him, because you decided to settle for less than.
Completely leaving him alone is the only way to handle this situation in a manner that keeps you from being hurt worse. When a man tells you that "he needs to work on himself", you should never wait on him to do so. You should support him working on himself, because all men should do so before they get into serious relationships, but there is no guarantee that it will pay off for you if you wait. By the time he finds himself, he might not even like your "type" anymore. How would you feel if that happened?
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