Doing this every time I get triggered is LIFE-CHANGING! Don't really need to use it anymore - thank you Thais!
@skwerl81
3 жыл бұрын
@T J I wonder if you're intellectualizing the process (this is common!) - like, "thinking" about the pieces of evidence without taking the time to really visualize and FEEL the emotions around the evidence (i.e., really getting it into the subconscious). Also, it could be that there are additional stories that you haven't addressed. I remember when I first started doing this, I would have multiple stories going on, and I made the time to work through each one. It takes a while at first but eventually I found that the stories were fewer and fewer over time (and triggers less intense). I hope this helps!
@SK-no2pp
3 жыл бұрын
This is me today. I feel overwhelmed by my emotions, and feel like I’m in pain and suffering. This video is so timely!
@jcanangel
3 жыл бұрын
You look so radiant Thais!✨🤍
@cameranserrano1263
3 жыл бұрын
What Char said! GORG!
@emawl3946
3 жыл бұрын
Hey ! The white looks great on you Thaïs.
@janetroy4469
3 жыл бұрын
Ok...so I just had an a-ha moment here. I'm FA, trying for the past year to get over my ex whom I still have intermittent contact with. I would dump on myself responsibility for him rejecting me, then equilibrate by remembering the good parts of him and our on-again-off-again relationship. This kept me in a loop of going back to test the waters, then get rejected all over again. So these steps are also the ones that keep me from moving on and ignoring the painful story of the truth that he just did not want me.
@PaigeYesLee
3 жыл бұрын
What a Brilliant and Amazing person! 😊❤️🙏
@roshalllambert
3 жыл бұрын
This video came out at the right time
@jjc2323
3 жыл бұрын
You are so pretty! Can you do a video on skin care and makeup routine? Us ladies would love that? Thank you for being you! You are helping me so much?
@7355days
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing’ ❤️
@mra9701
3 жыл бұрын
Any FAs here that get triggered when their partner has huge displays of emotions ?
@jasoneison656
3 жыл бұрын
Yes. Maybe, for me, part of it is the fact that my partner is a DA, so I'm not used to seeing that from him. And the fact that I have an unhealthy expectation that my emotional volatility/outbursts will overwhelm whoever they're directed at causes me to causes me to get really defensive and then go on the attack when I'm actually challenged. I've been working on recognizing when that happens and trying to take a step back, or step away, to reevaluate my perspective on the conflict.
@pahouaxiong2420
3 жыл бұрын
Me 🙋🏻♀️
@lisalee5422
3 жыл бұрын
Only if it's anger, cursing and yelling towards me. It makes me feel hurt and unsafe when people do that, so i shut down and avoid them. But i feel safe if a partner show other strong emotions because it makes me feel like he's genuine and can be trusted. If he cry in front of me i'm grateful he feels safe enough to do so. But i have to love a person to feel that way, i feel angry and sometimes violated if a man i'm not interested in force his strong emotions on me
@saraisherwood5016
3 жыл бұрын
Thias may I ask where did you get your lashes 😏🤣💓💓💓 Love em ---
@florenceofori7930
3 жыл бұрын
Thais, I love your hair!
@brigitwheelon2434
3 жыл бұрын
Isn't it possible to just get frustrated at your partner for not doing the dishes because they didn't do the dishes? Does there always have to be a meaning/story behind that frustration? And where does physical aspects come into play here? What if you're frustrated because you have PMS or are hungry or tired? Wouldn't those cause reactions/feelings that might not always be there?
@jjk5851
3 жыл бұрын
Good point! I think the challenge with examples is that they need to be easy to understand by most listeners, while not being too shallow at the same time. I'm sure almost everyone has experienced the dishes case a few times and not always is the reaction caused by an underlying emotional trauma. But, I also think the point here is to show how to deal with our emotions, not so much the actual case of dirty dishes. How do we access and understand our emotions and what do they tell us (about our unmet needs)? The part that I am missing a bit in this video is what we then do with this revelation: A secure person will communicate those needs to their partner, if necessary more than once, but if the partner chooses to continue ignoring the needs over and over again (in this case not doing the dishes), it will eventually come to the point that a secure person realizes this relationship is not working for them (probably not just because of unattended dishes, there will be more unmet needs...) I think the key takeaway is that in order to be able to clearly and securely communicate our needs, we need to be able to understand and manage our emotions. It's not about tolerating hurtful behavior of our partner, it's about becoming secure enough to communicate what we need and to expect our partner to put effort into respecting those needs.
@paulinegrace8077
3 жыл бұрын
@@jjk5851 but what if they always forgot, and not entirely completely ignore?
@jjk5851
3 жыл бұрын
@@paulinegrace8077 what's the difference btw ignoring and forgetting? One is intentional, the other is not, right?! I think I see your point, if they "just forget" it's not really that bad...? Well, I think the key point is, in both cases your needs aren't being met. If you have communicated your needs previously, you can expect that your partner takes them serious and not intentionally ignores them. Intentional ignoring your needs I would considerer a major issue in a secure relationship that needs to be addressed asap. The better option would be for your partber to communicate why right now, he is having a hard time meeting your needs. Now, forgetting it falls into the category of mistakes, we all make mistakes, so it can happen! Once again, I think the key is to communicate openly and transparently what a mistake means to us and how it can be avoided in the future. A mistake is always an opportunity to learn and grow, if the one who made the mistake is willing to put the effort into learning and growing...
@FruityHachi
3 жыл бұрын
@@paulinegrace8077 forgetting sometimes happens, but if they always forget that means they don't value and respect you enough to either remember it or to write a reminder if they don't put any effort then is that person worth your time and energy?
@JessicaMcCoy1
3 жыл бұрын
@@FruityHachi that’s a still a story that you are making up, re: “they don’t love or respect or care about you.” If someone consistently doesn’t do the dishes, then what they are showing is that doing dishes isn’t a priority for them. So the way to deal with that is to make it a priority by making it a win for them to do the dishes, or to problem-solve solutions together.
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