Which of these is helping you the most to say no to people at work? Lemme know!
@TiidiiLivingwithSabrina
4 жыл бұрын
I love the tip of replacing the "no". No is difficult for me to say so I like to have a really good excuse or ask to follow up later.
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Totally agree~ such a simple two-letter word that's so hard to utter sometimes
@OlympiaSophie
4 жыл бұрын
"I can't commit to this right now because...", such a tactful way of saying "no". Great content!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Yep, "because" is such a powerful word. Just look up the research by Robert Cialdini on persuasion and influence.
@jaimetan
4 жыл бұрын
"When you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else". Totally agree! The reverse is true too... when you say no to something, you're creating space to say yes to something else that's more valuable to you! Thanks for these tips!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
🙌🙌🙌🙌
@Cmacoach
4 жыл бұрын
People-pleasing makes it hard to sometimes. Great stuff in this video. Thanks Doc!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
My pleasure!
@seahaltura7116
4 жыл бұрын
Very effective tips. By using the right words when saying no to your co-worker builds good working relationship.
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Absolutely! I just released a video about saying no to your boss, check it out if you're interested!
@YuliaTarbath
4 жыл бұрын
So reasonable to learn to say No at the workplace to be happy there.
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Right on. It's important to think what you're saying no to when you say yes to something else.
@francistam6506
4 жыл бұрын
Imagine people saying "YES" to peers all the time but live with the consequences of over-committing. Learn, learn, learn!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Totally. Thanks for stopping by dad =)
@debbiethompsoncoaching
4 жыл бұрын
Definitely takes some learning to say no in the workplace. I really like the idea of asking them to follow up later. Thank you for the tips!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
You are so welcome!
@IntentionalMarriages
4 жыл бұрын
It only takes a couple times to say no for people to learn they cannot take advantage of you. Great reminders!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Absolutely!
@BuildingTimeFreedom
4 жыл бұрын
These are all great, I tend to use the cost approach as in this is what it will cost if I switch contexts to help with your problem. Also I tend to deflect random requests with planning. As in let's set up the schedule on Monday for what we want to do this week and not derail the plan. Bring your requests to the planning session on Monday or whatever your resource allocation system is.
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Those are excellent ideas John! Making it a "rule" for yourself to block random requests or other categories of request is a good way to consistently say no to time and energy drains.
@TrueStature
4 жыл бұрын
Smart ideas.
@aleyaha7134
4 жыл бұрын
@@DrJonTam ]p
@ElizabethSampson
4 жыл бұрын
Now, this is a great skill to learn! LOL, it will come back and bite you in the gluteus maximus! I think I will just say No!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@SocialConfidenceMastery
4 жыл бұрын
It's so important to reinforce your boundaries!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Totally!
@ScottResnickMD
4 жыл бұрын
Dr. Tam. Great information. I can't tell you how many times in my professional practice I have recommend setting boundaries. It's amazing how much damage results from the stress of always feeling the need to do what another wants.
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Well said!
@StephenSiu
4 жыл бұрын
Saying no for appropriate situations goes a long way. I like the work examples, they help with context.
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, that can be a huge time saver. Thanks for the feedback, I'm always looking to tell me stories.
@AdrianaGirdler
4 жыл бұрын
This is such great advice on how to say no without feeling guilty, not only in the workplace but in everyday life. Thanks for this great video, Cheers!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
You are so welcome!
@UgoArinzeh
4 жыл бұрын
I work as an independent business owner. My interaction is typically with my clients and fellow business owner colleagues.
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
It's awesome you don't have to deal with coworker drama
@YesToTech
4 жыл бұрын
I have such a hard time saying no so this video is perfect for me! Thanks for sharing Jon!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
You're so welcome!
@BeccaTeersMindPlus
4 жыл бұрын
I think the replacing NO with something else and also explaining your own schedule so that they understand your situation! Great video & subject- Thanks for sharing these tips!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Glad you found it helpful!
@TrentKennelly
4 жыл бұрын
I like how this is in many ways forcing them to consider your needs as well. Great ideas!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching!
@CarolMould
4 жыл бұрын
So important to be able to say no. Thanks so much for the tips
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
You are so welcome!
@cindys9491
4 жыл бұрын
I like the substitutes for no. I find it difficult to resist my own internal guilt bc I work in Education, and "don't you care about the CHILDREN, aren't you dedicated" pops into my mind a lot when trying not to add extra commitments at work on the fly. Also there's pride. It's tough to admit to being human and having limitations at work.
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I’ve worked in education for a number of years too and know what you mean. I find students respected me most when i set and reinforced strong boundaries but then again I can be naturally disagreeable
@cindys9491
4 жыл бұрын
@@DrJonTam right. I'm not referring to student expectations as much as my perception of societal pressures. Teachers, nurses, etc are supposedly never supposed to say no to adding on more work bc it calls into question their dedication. At least that was my perception of the pressure.
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Peppertree133 T ah, I see. Yes that’s the expectation. I think the outcome is the same though. Psychologically speaking, those who are able to say no are actually able to command more respect because they cast themselves in the light that their time is more valuable.
@cindys9491
4 жыл бұрын
@@DrJonTam Agreed. The myth that a nice person should burn themselves out at work to prove they love their students/patients/clients doesn't work in reality. The workaholic ends up cranky and with nothing to give them anyway, having lost their enthusiasm.
@BasiaRichard
4 жыл бұрын
Great, advice as always. Now I know how to say no to people and how to say it clearly without coming out as a rude person!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Glad it was helpful!
@TheRealEstateInformant
4 жыл бұрын
This is a very important skill that requires finding balance. Thank you for sharing.
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching!
@ajicoua
4 жыл бұрын
I can already envision this working in my workplace... :)
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Lemme know how it goes!
@planagainjen
4 жыл бұрын
Such an important topic. Thanks for talking about why we might want to say yes and a good way to say no!!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
You are so welcome!
@SherifaNakalema
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video Dr. I would choose the option of offering an alternative because naturally I want to help if the situation is reasonable. Great detailed content Dr. Thanks! Subscribing.
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for subbing. We just gotta be careful to not be the person at work who's always deflecting
@Bigboss-xe6lm
4 ай бұрын
If they find a way to repriortize your excuse then its time to say f you you f and get a new boss
@DrJonTam
3 ай бұрын
You get to say that because your handle is Bigboss 😂
@Bigboss-xe6lm
4 ай бұрын
If you have to give an excuse to say no I would say why do I need an excuse to say no? Are we 5? Thats a proper response to a childish demand
@RiazMeghji
4 жыл бұрын
Nice Jon. Telling the truth will earn the respect from others that you have the courage to say no in the first place. Keep the tips coming :)
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks, will do!
@TrueStature
4 жыл бұрын
Your content is really great! Saying no is often difficult to do, especially in the work place!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks!
@AngelaWalstad
4 жыл бұрын
Well this is definitely a problem I have!!! Wow! Thanks for the great info! This will be so helpful!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
You are so welcome!
@cococha
4 жыл бұрын
OMG i use to struggle with saying no alot, great video
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you! 😃
@ParallelWellness
4 жыл бұрын
Hello Dr. Tam! 👋🏻 Future Psychologist here, and current Clinical Counsellor. Really curious about your views on Jordan Peterson. There are so many different opinions out there!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Hey Meredith, I have three videos covering Peterson's approach to personality and soft skills development so you can see my opinions on him there. My general sentiment with him is positive since his content was instrumental in helping me through during the darkest days of my Ph.D. Broadly speaking though, I really enjoy his self-development and personality content, and that's what I focus on with him. His position is also what mainstream personality and development psychologists have been talking about as well for the last 30 years. As a sociologist by training, I agree with his general social critique on the polarization of society, and the harm of overwhelming of leftist or rightist ideology. Having Chinese roots, the Cultural Revolution hits REALLY close to home. My reading of him is he's a classical liberal and pretty much a centrist, so he's disliked by the far left or far right. I believe he takes liberties and is somewhat careless with some of the social sciences (e.g. gender inequality) and natural sciences (e.g. lobster-human comparisons), and that's when he becomes an easy target for people to get angry about.
@ParallelWellness
4 жыл бұрын
@@DrJonTam He's an interesting character in our field for sure! We spent a seminar talking about him and I found my opinion of him swaying back and forth depending on the topic. It seems like his tone of voice and way he talks changes depending on the situation and interviewer. I'll check out your other videos!
@TrishLee
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing this us. Really love the topic. Hope you have a nice day, Jon!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you! You too!
@TrishLee
4 жыл бұрын
You are always welcome, Jon! Can't wait for your next video! Have a nice day!
@TrishLee
4 жыл бұрын
Definitely, I will. Thank you!
@KoiAcademy
4 жыл бұрын
congrats on 300!
@DrJonTam
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks!
@nataliesudboroughmartinez3629
4 жыл бұрын
So helpful, Jon! I think I’m going to share these videos with my seniors. The skills are needed in college also. Great work! And good to “see” you again!
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