My teen son came to me the other day and said “ mom , I can really see you change and not yelling anymore “ and my 4 year old who is extremely wild and full of energy - hard to keep out of trouble ♥️😭 I stopped yelling and gave him “choices” . We have only been practicing one week and the impact has been monumental . We are all happier because of this . I wish I would have known how to do this years ago . I feel like I’ve wasted so much time and caused hurt , especially with my teens yelling and having blowups .
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Kimberli and Nathan Sehrman, I am so glad these methods are working for you and your family. I'm truly honored to be on your team! I understand what you mean by wishing you could have known about this sooner, but perhaps your teenagers will see that this new way works much better than old way; and when they become parents, they will choose positive parenting.
@lilmissranichi
4 жыл бұрын
So lovely to read this has worked for someone. I'm stuck yelling at my wild hyper 4 year old and I'm exhausted. Going to start implementing this and see if my boys notice too.
@gloriatuvalu9906
3 жыл бұрын
It is a joy to hear especially from kids and teens these kindly words recognising some change in us, parents. Well done 👍 and keep it up Kimberli and Nathan.
@nancytucker6365
3 жыл бұрын
It it has been working with my three year old grandson also what a difference!!! Where was this advice 36 years ago LOL glad to have it now
@ginamoreau3651
3 жыл бұрын
You are right on time! Remember. However I see your point, years of yelling and frustration with my 2 daughters drove me to these videos and thank Goodness they are helping so much ... I might be able to get along with my teenagers from now on :)
@HiLoGuurl
4 жыл бұрын
I am a yeller and I don't even have kids!! I am definitely gonna try these, thank you doc 😊
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
HiLoGuurl, yep, this is for anyone, not just parents! Glad you are willing to try. Thanks for watching!
@jeremyfridley2862
3 жыл бұрын
Great idea! Practice this before having a child, while the stakes are low. You'll be pro level by the time you're a parent and the mistakes you made along the way will carry less consequence.
@homeyes3070
3 жыл бұрын
Lmao same
@ali_plz
3 жыл бұрын
I yell at my kids because that's all I ever known. My mom always yelled at me even though we're really close. So, I try to change my behavior and yell at them less, because I've notice if I'm calmer, they're calmer too.
@anna8389szczerba
3 жыл бұрын
Oh gosh LOL I have 5 kids under 10 and I am a HORRIBLE yeller when my kids hurt each other!!! Especially my boys towards my girls or the bigger kids on the smaller more defenceless kids! Ooh boy oh boy, God help me.
@auntieb3621
3 жыл бұрын
I am loving these videos!!!! I was sold into human trafficking when i was a toddler. I've been free for 6 years now. So many of these are exactly how I've been able to navigate life and it's so incredibly heart warming to see a platform based upon grounding and love. Thank you so much. Invaluable doesn't say how MUCH I'm grateful and impressed at the same time. Thank you will have to do for now. So, thank you
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Sabrina, I am honored to be on your team.
@The.Indian.Goddess
2 жыл бұрын
So am i was trafficked by my classmates in seminary and my family ...they treated me as an animal ...and used me for porn ..they put a camera on the ladies dorm and my moms home ....i am afraid am not free yet ...am still in this country ...but whatever he is teaching is helping me ...my life is still in danger ....but i practice calming techniques ...and it works ...sometimes when i am flooded ...and if i keep practicing this i can keep calmer ...it works
@EC-yd9yv
2 жыл бұрын
🙏💜
@vickyandersen8660
2 жыл бұрын
@@The.Indian.Goddess pray to God. You might now believe but it won't hurt you. I pray you get set free
@sharisdiyworkshop7437
3 жыл бұрын
I’ve been binge watching your channel the last few days desperate for answers on how to deal with my angry 12 year old who goes from 0 to 10 in a second! I feel some hope just watching these and realizing I’m just as much to blame as him. Thanks for the insight and I really hope I can put these to work and get my husband on board as well. Thank you!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
You got this! We are here to help.
@gaywizard2000
3 жыл бұрын
Sounds like he needs a diagnosis, why would you blame yourself? Don't do it.
@Petuacapturesit
2 жыл бұрын
How is he doing now??
@willyh.r.1216
3 жыл бұрын
I should have watched your video in my twenties. Now I'm so grateful for discovering this treasure.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Willy H. R. I am glad we could connect.
@Fergy00000
Жыл бұрын
I'm not someone who yells but if I'm frustrated in a family situation I can raise my voice. Or so I think. My daughter will say to mom that daddy yelled at me, I feel I didn't yell but I guess I need to understand peoples perception of the word and the feeling it gives. I love my family and would do anything for them. You can never stop learning. Thank you for always taking the time to create your videos. I really appreciate your effort. Breath in... breath out slowly:)
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
You got this. Powerful insight.
@titabelski7731
3 жыл бұрын
I used to yell when my kids were small because I felt like talking to a deaf ear until my son told me about how he heard me. He said I just sound like a banging drum. I began talking in a calm caring way and they begun to listen. I did the technique of deep breathing and focus on their being an innocent child limited in their understanding... The word says, "Be quick to love and slow to anger." And mostly pray for them.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
I am glad you listened to him. Thank you for sharing.
@selenachannel2782
2 жыл бұрын
Banging drum🤣🤣🤣
@Salomesaville
Жыл бұрын
Jesus keep helping us please.
@MegsCarpentry-lovedogs
3 жыл бұрын
Dr. Paul, I have to admit, during the covid pandemic I have lost it and yelled and cried, privately in my home, from the overwhelming feeling of despair. At some point during the break down I manage to click on to any one of your vids to help bring some perspective. Reassuring to feel that I am not alone. In a safe place yelling is OK and so is crying my eyes out. In reading comments on your vids the community indicates that everyone at some point or points in their lives feel like yelling. The isolation due to covid deaths and now 3 new strains of covid does get overbearing to handle-so my thinking tell me. 😉 So much suffering happening, including animals too. Thank you for producing your channel Dr. Paul. 💛 🇨🇦 😷
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Meg's Carpentry, we are human and our experiences are more universal than we sometimes thing. Glad you are at the channel.
@humbledmuffins7787
3 жыл бұрын
Doc needs a podcast on Spotify
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Nur Mashitah, I have a podcast, Live On Purpose Radio.
@baldman5k
Жыл бұрын
12:21 THIS RIGHT HERE, just helped me SO DANG MUCH, you have NO idea… I had to rewatch it three times because every time I would watch/listen to that statement, I would only get ONE word further in the statement, before bawling like a baby again. 😂 Every. Dang. Time. Such a powerful and incredibly insightful and intelligent piece of advice, that is. Just wow. So, I’m not on my last leg, near the end, on the edge of my worst “season”in life. Where am I? I’m PRESENT, I’m BREATHING it out, and I’m RIGHT ON SCHEDULE, where I’m supposed to be, in the middle of my inspiring story. That’s so incredibly powerful and empowering. It gives me the power to get back on track in writing my own story, instead of allowing my hurt, my anger, and my resentment write the story. Turns my biography back into an autobiography again; the way it SHOULD be. Wow. Thank you SO MUCH, Dr. Paul. Much love from Texas! 🤟
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
Honored to be on your team, Baldman5k.
@catherinemcgill3004
3 жыл бұрын
I love this channel and great advice like this! When my son was a teenager, he spoke to me harshly once, which happily didn’t happen often. Well, I wanted to share that I told him “I think you forgot you are speaking to someone you love.” This was a game changer. I chose not to lash out and to focus him on what he was saying and how. I’m not saying I never shouted but I find it helpful to remember I’m speaking to someone I love and I like to think I taught him that. ❤️
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Love that!
@kathleenodonnell8355
3 жыл бұрын
I love that too!!! Beautiful 💕
@rickyboyce2323
3 жыл бұрын
I Love the fact that the tips in this video can be applied in your daily life and parenting. Definitely going to try these ideas for work and with my daughter. I keep having this feeling in my gut that I need to change the way I parent, and after watching several episodes from your channel I’m beginning to find that not only do I need to change.. but I actually have the ABILITY to change using your awesome tips. I think it’s fair to say that most parents don’t want to yell at their kids or make their kids “fear” them. They just want to be respected, and there really is a fine line between those two concepts. Thank you so very much for sharing your wisdom and experience on this channel. Real Game Changer!!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
LOVE to hear this, Ricky. Exactly why we put the channel together. Please share with anyone else who could benefit.
@CB0915
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for this video I need something like this to calm down and realize i dont have to yell
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
CB 1014, the first thing is realizing we have a choice, you are on the right road.
@teresachaperlo8356
4 жыл бұрын
We are signed up for virtual school this fall.... I just took a whole page of notes from this video; I am going to start my breathing exercises now to get ready for this new "adventure" in the fall. Thank you for your support and advice!!!!!!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
You got this! Give us any ideas for videos on how we can support you.
@abdiraufabshir3467
4 жыл бұрын
We all need to stay calm at some point! Even holding negative emotions can be bad. This might be a video for me to learn.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Abdirauf Abshir, there have been studies on the negative physical effects of carrying around negative emotions. Mind and body are inseparably linked.
@brittanycrawford6432
Жыл бұрын
I just want to say I appreciate your parenting videos so much. I was not raised lovingly and now I am struggling knowing the right way vs wrong way to parent. I’m learning now I was raised dysfunctionally and don’t want to pass that to my little Ones. Your videos are so helpful. Thank you.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
Thank you, Brittany, honored to be on your team.
@julietaprofe2131
2 жыл бұрын
I have been practicing this for some weeks now and it absolutely works for me. I am infinite grateful! Thank you so so much.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for letting me know.
@angiejones968
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for pointing out that I can use this when I want to yell. I never thought to use this technique for that. I was taught to use it by my therapist to calm myself. It really does work! Now I'm gonna use it , if/when I remember for yelling. Thanks again for the help!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Angie Jones, glad you connected with the video.
@medicalvideos0
3 жыл бұрын
❤️ Although yelling is not my response, but I do tend to panic or start feeling uncomfortable and fidgety when faced with a tough situation. It always helps to hear good and very apt advice. You are extremely well read and you have great understanding of human psychology
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you, I have been at it for over 30 years.
@lizzabbott
Жыл бұрын
New subscriber ! Dawn, a.k.a. The Minimal Mom, brought me here. Your conversation with her on her channel today was DELIGHTFUL ! And empowering .
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
Thanks for letting me know, lizzabbott and welcome to Live On Purpose TV.
@cg741graf5
3 жыл бұрын
Oh man: I needed a tune up on my practice. I had a rough morning after being triggered and it created a horrible storm. 🤦🏻♀️😞
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
CG Graf, deep breath, we can start over. You got this!
@waynehurt6397
3 жыл бұрын
I yell at my dad somtimes and i regret it right away so this was helpfull thankyou😁💕 i am on my dads account im a girl btw so ya lol
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Glad it helped!
@selenachannel2782
2 жыл бұрын
I love your videos when you're by yourself... love how you do your best to reach out to our major problems with ourselves and kids
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Selena channel. I'm working for you.
@Travis.scurts
Жыл бұрын
My 11 year old son was diagnosed with Odd, and ADHD! And he tells us what he’s going to do. And what we should do.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
Something is not quite right with this. Sounds like he needs some consequences and counseling.
@chloemurray8092
3 жыл бұрын
Paul, this is excellent and thank you so much! 'This is perfect for me' 😉 Just love it. Am watching you more often from now on. Mind 'set' or the way we think, our repetitive and learned patterns is EVERYTHING. My tough story starts to turn around now. Thank you 🙏❤
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Wonderful!
@bethanyg153
2 жыл бұрын
Oh man! I used to fly off the handle. When I got physical things like thyroid medication and sleep apnea taken care of it was amazing how it changed my brain. But I do still have moments. Lol! This will be helpful!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing!! Sometimes there are underlying medical conditions. Glad you are in a better place.
@tessjones5987
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for creating a calmer more neutral reaonable attitude in this world. It takes courage to change and you make it do-able.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Tess Jones, thank you for your kind words.
@itsthetinysistersshow327
4 жыл бұрын
I’m so glad you have a podcast! I just subscribed to it. I appreciate your content very much.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for subscribing to the podcast, It's the Tiny Sister's Show! Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV and Radio.
@christophertaylor6866
4 жыл бұрын
I love podcasts thsnk you
@jakeniemiec8559
3 жыл бұрын
I've never been a yeller, but I did yell that last time my mom yelled at me. I guess I'm worried that I will repeat the cycle unintentionally
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
jake, you got this. Yelling is a choice and becomes a habit the more we do it. You can decide not to yell.
@gloriayoung392
3 жыл бұрын
Beautiful knowledge Thank you for sharing🙏👍✌
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Honored to be on your team.
@MegsCarpentry-lovedogs
3 жыл бұрын
This was a very practical way to support training our thinking differently. Thank you from Canada!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it!
@rest1000
3 жыл бұрын
4:28 put the wrong “your” but so far no other complaints 😂
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@universalseeker
4 жыл бұрын
I learned & revisited a lot listening to this video. Great video!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad you found the video useful, Vaness Holley. Honored to be on your team!
@WordsPictures997
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this Dr. Jenkins. I used to do this breathing subconsciously but two adults who I considered dear to me shared that when I did that with them it made them feel bad about out interactions ... What response would you have in a case like that / what would you suggest in that case?
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
You are welcome, Words and Pictures, and thank you for watching. I would be honest with them. Tell them that your breathing exercises are a subconscious thing, and that it has nothing to do with them. It simply makes you feel better/calm/however it makes you feel. It's not about them, it's about you.
@msbrown813
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for taking the time to make these so very important videos.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
Glad you like them!
@anaserbanescu7623
3 жыл бұрын
Huge thank you for your help with this videos! I am a new parent and I am yeller mom already 😭
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
You are so welcome! Ana Serbanescu, you can learn tools that will help you to remain calm.
@heather2761
4 ай бұрын
Having PTSD, I find it even harder to not yell or overreact. Also my toddler hitting or kicking me makes me burst into tears and sometimes have flashbacks. I wish I could figure out how to overcome this.
@mrsgoyen08
3 жыл бұрын
This should have come up on my KZitem list the day before yesterday,because yesterday I lost it. Too late
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
There will probably be another opportunity. Hang in there.
@missionofelijah4682
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for taking you’re time !
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
My pleasure!
@tatianahawaii13
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
You are very welcome!
@gabby7882
3 жыл бұрын
This is a good video. I'm not an Old yeller but I did learn about synapses. I never understood. Thank you
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Gabrielle Stargel, honored to be on your team.
@philh9378
10 ай бұрын
Wondering if this or a version of this would also be beneficial for all children to learn and practice.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
10 ай бұрын
Yes, it would.
@athenak631
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you. Needed to hear this.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
You are so welcome.
@lornangumbullu8385
3 жыл бұрын
This is amazing thank you 🙏🏾❤️
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
You are very welcome, thank you.
@aquienpuedainteresar4188
3 жыл бұрын
I really need to implement this. I have to admit it take A LOT more effort to not yell and to yell. I have to remind myself that its a marathon not a sprint.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Juan Perez Feliciano, you can do this, I know you can!
@angelaalbano1446
4 жыл бұрын
DR. PAUL YOU ARE A GINUS I HAVE TO TAKE MORE THEN ONE DEEP BREATHS THOUGH, every time i would talk to MY SON I would talk to MY SON 15 million billion time before I holla, but I been listening to your videos and been PRACTING your suggestions and it does help and work thank you very much
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Angela Albano, thank you for trying the technique. It works!
@jude8223
3 жыл бұрын
He is showing Qi jong breathing… Slowing down the nervous system & the heart rate is very calming. Qi jong has many slow moving exercises where you are slowly pushing away the stress or bad feelings with your hands.We can even do this if we cross the mark & start getting excited; just do calming exercises by stopping the script and going into another room to calm down. Probably a good strategy to separate everyone for even 10 minutes, all of you, and then come back together after you have done these slow breathing exercises. If possible, everyone gets together to offer support to the yeller… having a code word the yellow offers to the recipients would help stop the feelings. Everyone involved should to be a part of the process of change at some point…then everybody will be happier. We can flip the switch both ways, it’s always our choice. We do with our lives is entirely up to us; we can’t blame our behavior on anyone else but ourselves.We can change the script more easily by running through the normal scenario in our brain prior to sleep (like making ruts in a computer disc). Our brain will work on this throughout the night, remembering this new tactic and implementing it at the prescribed time we need it…that is how we change our behavior.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Jude, thank you, so true.
@nancytucker6365
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you!!! I'm gonna follow your advise! 3 ye old grandson and it's been a few years lol. Great advice for teenagers who won't clean up their room you do it... but you do it your way. Completely rearrange it take their clothes and hang them inside out. Short sheet the bed. Let them know that you went through their drawers and their papers replace your music and their posters, and any other thing you can do to disturb their space... kids choose to clean their own room after that. Teens want privacy lol lol
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Nancy Tucker, I love that idea. Put up your posters, not theirs. Teens do want privacy.
@mariakulasa3077
2 жыл бұрын
I’m good at this. Well didn’t happen till my son is teen
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
Teens are a different animal all together.
@forvishuv
4 жыл бұрын
Love it!! Thank you!!!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
You are welcome, ViSWA V! Honored to be on your team.
@carlfreiermuth5424
Жыл бұрын
breathe deeply
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
Carl Freiermuth, I am always a fan of deep breathing. There is real science behind it calming our bodies.
@JennWatson
3 жыл бұрын
This is brilliant! Thanks!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
You're very welcome!
@gregshanor669
Жыл бұрын
I work in home health care and I've a client who is very verbally combative and highly non compliant oftentimes when I work from them I get his abusive behaviors etc. While he's wife ( 50+ years) just tells me to ignore him and sweep it under the rug etc But this is hard deal with most days I work with him. I enjoy working & don't want to lose my job over his behaviors that I know he's been told is very wrong but he doesn't see these behaviors( verbally combative, verbal abuse towards others, especially those in his family members. But he doesn't do it around others he respects: doctors, nurses when there around etc ) are wrong he's destroyed his family esp his disabled son who he's verbally abusive & has ruined a majority of his life since he wanted his son to do things physically like he & other non disabled men can do. But he's not able to due to how the sons physical disability affects his body & daily life. That enrages my client. Perhaps it's a guilt/shame in combination of angered anxiety etc
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
Greg Shanor, I wonder if there is something mentally deteriorating along with the physical side. Figure out your options, ask for another client, find another job, choose to be amused by what he says, etc. Then figure out which works best for you.
@gregshanor669
Жыл бұрын
@@LiveOnPurposeTV yes I'm sure there is , he's been like that for years. I worked with him when he had his own business. I got treated the same way then. Yes I agree he's had some undiagnosed MI. Not sure what it would be. Hes has some narcissistic, anger behaviors along with the highly verbal combative behavior s But when he's younger everyone just brushed off his behaviors etc
@noemig4619
2 жыл бұрын
Great video ♥️
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@ajyaluna
3 жыл бұрын
11:00 practical
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@zachR937
2 ай бұрын
Very nice.
@dinasmairat4708
4 жыл бұрын
Love all of your videos 💕
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Dina Smairat. I'm honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV!
@queenofhearts1138
8 ай бұрын
Im reacting poorly to feeling triggered by my 10yo. The main trigger is that I am asking her to do the same routine things day in and day out. I'm really frustrated by her response to me when I have to remind her to clear her dishes or hang up her jacket. Its the same repeated struggle every day w clean ups in her room. She is eye rolling and giving me a big attitude when ive already set the expectation. Im frustrated and tired.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
8 ай бұрын
I understand. She doesn't have the same need to be clean so if you want her to do those things you will have to use consequences. When she picks up her coat, she can watch a video. When she clears her dishes she can (fill in the blank). Keep calm and don't argue, say it once and let it go.
@mihstieghboggs7821
4 жыл бұрын
At about seven minutes 30 seconds you mention the “perceived threat causing the sensation to want to yell” and I do get that as a concept… But my kids have been in crisis for a while -so sometimes things are actually about to get physical or they are actually about to have some kind of response to a sibling or to me that needs refereed. I don’t tend to yell in those moments maybe one out of every 10 but I do tend to freeze or to fawn. Working with a trauma therapist I have learned to breathe and to observe and to try not to respond in kind to help keep those dysregulated ones and younger siblings feeling safe. Would you direct me to one of your resources (outside of MHMR, trauma work, medication management, residential treatment, that could help a situation like ours? we’ve been working hard for over three years?) i am enjoying your resources because you make me laugh -and I think I need more of that and it’s been super helpful to hear about the three stages of “moral maturity” that’s giving me a reframe I haven’t had access to. I hope my description makes sense. Thank you. The practical affirmations are great and hysterical!!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Mihstiegh Boggs, I am not sure that I have a recommendation for you. It sounds like the therapist you are working with is giving you good advice. Keep calm and parent on.
@1234piano
3 жыл бұрын
Jolly good stuff!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Chris Graham, thank you!
@curtiscarlson8958
3 жыл бұрын
Great advice!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Curtis.
@crystalnorthhealing
3 жыл бұрын
Yes, that's true at any time, the deep breathing quickly shifts the nervous system into the parsympathetic side of nervous system. And, yes, we should practice looking at the exact feeling that we're feeling and believing something. If we can identify that, most days, we can see that what we're believing in the background is a lie we're telling ourselves has no merit and is not true! And if we can see that, chances are, we will only laugh at ourselves. That has been my experience 98% of the time and when i realize it, I laugh at myself! hahaha! I think all of us would do just that if we really questioned ourselves first.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Love this!
@crystalnorthhealing
3 жыл бұрын
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Love you! You're doing a very good work. Thank you!
@gwendolynmac5147
3 жыл бұрын
People also often yell when they want to be heard & have experienced a lot of not being heard. The person needs to hear themself, not expect others to hear them.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Gwendolyn Mac, very good point.
@oneviewcornwall8200
3 жыл бұрын
A lifetime of 'flooding' and being wound up by family bullies and 'agent provocateurs'. It takes me days to recover after a yelling session. Once I've flipped or emotionally melted down (purely triggered by being bullied/harmed by family 'hurters') I have to recover for days... (A one off co-dydramol or half a Lorazapam makes me calmer when I know I have to NOT be triggered, BUT such tablets are not the solution and are potentially addictive so best avoided )... At 50, past childhood trauma still triggers. I currently have two notes written for myself to read daily "accept no toxic abuse"... ie don't get sucked in by it and thereby DON'T react and flip and yell and react and yell ... I'm learning 'grey rock' techniques and the 'is that so' response when appropriate.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
It sounds like you have made a lot of progress and are continuing to do so. Try to avoid the trigger as much as possible.
@rksunanda4655
2 жыл бұрын
I love your videos
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks, Rk.
@maryperrysmith5815
2 жыл бұрын
I’m going to teach this breathing technique to my daycare kids. Three times a week. When no one is going off or being demanding
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
Yes, get ahead of the emotions.
@brandireed5704
29 күн бұрын
"It's your thinking that makes you feel like yelling..not your circumstances!" Train yourself to think differently.
@bizarte24_
2 жыл бұрын
Thinking out loud. It's a dirty job but someone has to do it.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
You are up to the job.
@danthoreson4062
4 жыл бұрын
Very useful stuff
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Glad you think so! Dan Thoreson, honored to be on your team.
@Kivlor
Жыл бұрын
One of the root causes of this fight or flight response to your children is that we are truly social creatures, and your brain/body does not distinguish between physical and social threats. When they refuse to comply or outright show disrespect, they are threatening your position in the social hierarchy within your own home. This doesn't make yelling okay, but might give you some insight into *why* you're having that initial reaction. Likely there's a lot more going on in the background too, so don't try to treat this explanation as the end-all, one true answer. Just a piece in the puzzle.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Kivlor.
@bizarte24_
2 жыл бұрын
We all make mistakes occasionally.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
Of course.
@KiaraMoreti
4 жыл бұрын
Omg is this video for me !!!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Yolis Castaneda, glad you found us.
@Kreativebug16
4 жыл бұрын
when is breathing exercise better befor meal or after meal ?
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Kaynat Naqvi, food doesn't really have anything to do with it. It is more about your emotions.
@brightpage1020
4 жыл бұрын
Omg this is the one for me. I am an ADHD -brained mom who pops off. I yell. Sometimes my kids can't even hear me until I do. It's that bad. I have zero bite so my bark is sharp. Because I have no backup. I have no odea what to do after that.. taking toys or privileges doesn't seem to work at all. But I don't want to just yell. I try to mitigate it by having more positive, softer, reasonable affection-charging conversations with them during down times but I have 3 kids, 2 still toddlers (13 months apart). My husband and I both work pretty much full time and the house is always a wreck despite our daily cleaning efforts so it always feels like we are drowning in more momentary fires than we can possibly put out in a day. We're easily exhausted and wiped out. Worse: I fear one of the toddlers might be special needs like ADD or on the spectrum. He's getting tested soon. Not worse for me - worse for him. I fear that we won't have the patience with him we need and the yelling is my red flag that I'm out of control.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
brightpage1020, there is a lot going on here and I hope you are able to work something out where you can get some help to take some pressure off. Look at how you are allocating your resources, also you might benefit from some counseling or coaching.
@brightpage1020
4 жыл бұрын
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you. Parenting classes have helped a lot. Tips like kneeling to get on their level (puts it in perspective) breathing practice, and simply repriorotizing our schedules is starting to help some. I'll find counseling, too. My kids are awesome. They're bright, smart, funny, caring, and often joyful. They deserve a wiser, more peaceful, more loving mom who doesn't feel fried by all the directions my attention gets pulled in.
@benjaminwagner4702
2 жыл бұрын
I am right on schedule. This is perfect for me. I am present. I am right on schedule. This is perfect for me. I am present. I am right on schedule. This is perfect for me. I am present. I am right on schedule. This is perfect for me. I am present. I am right on schedule. This is perfect for me. I am present.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
Yes you are!
@BasedPhilosophyMom
4 жыл бұрын
I don't want to yell....but I have a fairly severe adhd/odd child. He goes through phases where he delights in tormenting me because, no joke... He likes people yelling. So he does it to get me to yell. He'll throw things at me, hit me, anything he knows to annoy me. I don't know how to stay calm in these situations, by the time he's in these phases its already to late usually to adjust his behavior, but most parenting advice usually is just 'wait it out', which in my case usually just means getting abused and harassed by my 5 five year old until he gets what he wants. (disclaimer, we've already tried every therapy and 'parenting trick', and this are hugely better, but I still don't know what to do besides scream when I'm literally being instigated into anger by him on purpose)
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Hippie Housewifi, I'm glad these videos are helping, and I am so honored to be on your team. I'm going to offer a few resources and you decide which ones work best for you: The Positive Parenting playlist has hundreds of videos to help you: kzitem.info/door/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU We also have a How To Get Kids To Listen Without Yelling | Five-Day Challenge playlist: kzitem.info/door/PLq2mRDkHEBPAcEW3S3spSI62Xx0mEZwVS (I wonder what might happen if you do the first challenge - smile - at your son instead of get angry when he tries to get you to yell.) : ) Some videos that are relevant: "How To Deal With Child With ODD" - kzitem.info/news/bejne/2K2A3IFmrImkdZw "How To Discipline A Child With Oppositional Defiant Disorder" - kzitem.info/news/bejne/lnuZ0YmqsJ2Xom0 "How To Parent A Child With ADHD" - kzitem.info/news/bejne/p52rk5OjnmmFeGk "How To Help A Child With ADHD Without Medication" - kzitem.info/news/bejne/226Km6Z_kKODqXY (There are others, just search Live On Purpose ADHD.) "How To Come Up With GOOD CONSEQUENCES" - kzitem.info/news/bejne/pGx7xWWcr2tzfKg If you want to get personalized help, we have a free 25 minute call with a Live On Purpose coach. If you would like to take advantage of that, please go here to schedule: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall
@BasedPhilosophyMom
4 жыл бұрын
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you!!! I'll take a look!!!
@SusanaXpeace2u
3 жыл бұрын
I should have done that breathing thing when I go a whatsapp from my mother. I dont feel like yelling at my teenagers but i do feel threatened by my parents. They are completely impossible and always back each other up. Chewing gum is supposed to hack the amygdala in to believing that there can't be a threat.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Susan C, give it a try, I wish you the best.
@wasatchpowder
3 жыл бұрын
I hit my drive down the middle of the fairway. My golf ball is well marked. Twosome drives into my fairway and hits a ball in the general area my ball should be. I get to my ball and it is no where to be found. I'm ticked off, but they drive off before I can ask them about it. The very next hole, I'm walking to my ball (now a yellow ball) in the middle of the fairway, they drive over and pick up my ball and are going to take it before I yell at them that it's my ball. Now, I'm pissed and proceed to give them a piece of my mind and tell them to stay in their own ef'ing fairway. Breathing exercises are not going to help me deal with idiots on the golf course.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
That is frustrating. And not typical behavior on the golf course. Have you tried to talk to the managers?
@wasatchpowder
3 жыл бұрын
@@LiveOnPurposeTV It's a public golf course that caters to idiots. My son made me walk off the course before I had a stroke. I guess you could say I pulled a Simone Biles and quit.
@downbntout
3 жыл бұрын
The threat perceived when the kid doesn't obey is embarrassment
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
downbntout, many times, you are right.
@chiaranath3479
4 жыл бұрын
you are awesome..thankyou
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
As are you, Chiara Nath. Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV!
@Val.Kyrie.
3 жыл бұрын
I’m German. 😅😩 My eldest son is a little me. Do you know how hard it is for me to stop YELLING?! I want to stop so bad 😭
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
You can do this. Begin the journey and it will happen.
@Grace-dd5xn
3 жыл бұрын
I have a question Doc please help me! My 24 year old lives on her own so I thought she would be coming over Xmas Eve and Xmas day. So my husband sister invited us to go to her place for dinner. My husband and I opted out as of the COVID rules say stay within your house hold. She decided that her and her boyfriend are going to go there for Xmas day dinner. My husband and I were mortified and so hurt by this. Of all day Xmas day dinner?? This is her teaching us that she make her own decisions!! But Xmas day dinner seriously?!?! We are open to suggestions as she has put us through hell the last 5 years! Thinking about no longer reaching out. Also she know I’m off work as I have a pinched nerve and I can’t even prepare or do anything.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Grace, you need to talk to her. You thought something, that means that it wasn't talked about. Seek to understand her viewpoint. It may not be something so personal. Talk it out.
@spencerfrankclayton4348
3 жыл бұрын
5:39
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching.
@annvavoliza2860
3 жыл бұрын
Amazing
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you! Cheers!
@Jean-yn6ef
3 жыл бұрын
💚🏜️ practice calming exercise when you are calm 🤯 yup, my kids have "trained" me and I feel impotent. This is great information.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@wonderfulifeyaas8464
4 жыл бұрын
إن الله لا يغير ما بقوم حتى يغيروا ما بأنفسهم
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
wonderfulife yaas, thank you for being here.
@nicolereadstarot
2 жыл бұрын
What do you do when you try so hard to stay calm and the child treats you like a 40 yr old narcissist. Baiting and gaslighting, weaponized incompetence, making you question your own memory, tries to get you and your spouse to fight for their amusement? Then if you DO finally break down crying they say, as an 11 year old, you are "over reacting" and "idk why your so upset. It was a joke 😏."
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
I would choose to be amused by him and smile. I wouldn't take the bait and instead, give him a look or a smile. It will leave him wondering if you got what he was saying.
@1stpakistanicatjerryjerry429
4 жыл бұрын
Salaam n Peace to all from Pakistan n madinah munawera
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
1st Pakistani cat jerry jerry, thank you for watching. Peace to you.
@mac-ju5ot
2 жыл бұрын
So I guess kicking is out huh? Dammit you challenge me sir
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
And you are up for the challenge. You can do this.
@jackfrost2146
3 жыл бұрын
If you keep your head when all around you are losing theirs, you'll be the only one with a head...
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Jack Frost, thank you.
@viridianaponce9132
3 жыл бұрын
Hanks I yell to much
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Viridiana Ponce, I hope the video is helpful for you.
@sausankanaan4986
4 жыл бұрын
Hi, I need tools to deal with an 8 years old boy that takes out his anger & frustrations on me, pushing and kicking and breaking things around the house! I have tried different things including timeouts...it is not helping...please help me!!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Sausan Kanaan, thank you for watching Live On Purpose TV - it's an honor to have you here. I cannot explain everything here, so please check out our Positive Parenting playlist: kzitem.info/door/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU Some videos I would start with are: "Dealing With Aggressive Behavior In Children" - kzitem.info/news/bejne/uK2N34hmfKCrdKA "How Do You Handle Aggressive Child Behavior Toward A Parent?" - kzitem.info/news/bejne/paOjyJqrqp6aoW0 "What To Do When Your Child Hits You" - kzitem.info/news/bejne/zp2vvaWaaoeQnoY "7 Ways To Discipline Your Child" - kzitem.info/news/bejne/qGmk22WHn4GGpHo "Consequences For Misbehavior | 6 Specific Examples" - kzitem.info/news/bejne/p5iZ3aRvp5NhZ44 We also have a free 25 minute parenting breakthrough call. If you would like to take advantage of that for more ideas, please go here to schedule: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall
@paulmaloney2383
3 жыл бұрын
I drink green tea, meditate, do calming exercises and I still wanna slap people
@karalay8880
3 жыл бұрын
Try learninng spiritual alchemy, it is working for me
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
paul maloney, keep at it, it gets easier.
@biblicalgodisonlytruegod
3 жыл бұрын
No one should yell. (Unless at a football game) Totally inappropriate behavior.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@realtimeprivacy5085
2 жыл бұрын
I don't yell. I speak clearly and accurately if you don't understand then you have to learn English.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for watching.
@benjaminwagner4702
2 жыл бұрын
Jesus I hate myself when I yell. I mean I send myself in the worst shame spirals
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
No need for that, consider a membership to go.liveonpurposecentral.com.
@pamelawilliams1302
3 жыл бұрын
I don't yell, but I may say something that can hurt your feelings in a calm manner.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Pamela Williams, it probably gets heard better than yelling.
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