A few days after we finished writing and filming this, I messed something up and started beating myself up over that. Then I remembered that we had just written this episode, and so I thought "What a hypocrite! You just wrote an episode on self-compassion and you're not doing it!" I had to remind myself that judgments are normal and they are going to happen, and that I can acknowledge them and move on instead of dwelling on them or beating myself up over them.
@gareth6898
5 жыл бұрын
Oh and the build your own noah kits were cool but Bernie is the boy for sure, I have 3 now 😂😂😂
@Ukitsu2
5 жыл бұрын
@_ David _ Yes, she is. Excuse me for saying so, but that's not really the point xD
@kvernon1
5 жыл бұрын
What's interesting is that your thought started with a lie -- "What a hypocrite!" On the contrary, the fact that you returned to these thought patterns after the mess-up is proof that you genuinely understand what it's like to struggle with these thoughts & feelings. They run deep! and as you mention in the video, changing them is much easier said than done...MUCH easier. You brought a new insight to me -- when we engage in self-accusation, we have a tendency to mix in some outright lies and falsehoods into our accusations. It's as if the bad feelings have a way of multiplying (instead of adding), and can really gain momentum unless he have ways of diffusing them. Your authenticity really gives your messages meaning. I'd much rather hear a message from someone who continues to wrestle with the issues than someone else in their ivory high tower lecturing on what they know only in theory and not in practice. So I thank you for this video, and wish you well as you ... rather, WE ... run this marathon together and keep those overly critical voices at bay. And I sure you've already helped several others take that first step as well. Appreciate you and this site very much!
@ameena6485
5 жыл бұрын
@_ David _ Her name is Jessica
@hg75gs
5 жыл бұрын
I just to do exactly that before, now when I made a mistake I laugh not to make fun of myself but to make fun of mistake itself By doing this I remove the negative connotation of the mistake and replace it for positive, happy and fun connotation Believe me it work great
@samanthajohnson5100
5 жыл бұрын
Does anyone else have a lot of compassion for other people but almost none for themselves? I’m harder on myself than anyone else is on me in my life. I’m trying to change but gosh it’s hard.
@lilajean8146
5 жыл бұрын
Sameeeeeee!!!!!! Probably one of the thing I struggle the most with!!!!!! Here a Virtual Bear Hug, 🤗!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And a puppo, his name is Sammy, 🐕!!!!!!!!!!!
@ahoward84562
5 жыл бұрын
I do that all the time. Sometimes I'm downright cruel to myself.... But will always give others the benefit of the doubt. SMDH logic 🤦♂️🤷♂️
@kvernon1
5 жыл бұрын
Exactly right. I'm always first in line to help others and have done some pretty extraordinary things to comfort, counsel, and serve others in pain. Perhaps those who suffer are much more attuned to pain in other people and more compassionate to their situations. Agree that it would be helpful if we learned how to siphon some of that compassion back towards ourselves at times.
@Ojo10
5 жыл бұрын
It's quite possibly a people pleasing complex, that is usually in line with other adhd struggles like RSD.
@dabi5967
5 жыл бұрын
A-FRICKEN-MEN
@nonsensepoem
5 жыл бұрын
I most often heard, "You can do so much better than this," which perhaps unintentionally implied that my mistakes were evidence of laziness, regardless of my level of effort. Utterly demoralizing.
@hannahclaire4683
5 жыл бұрын
defenestrati I got that constantly in high school, before I knew that I had ADHD. So hurtful, even if it wasn’t intended that way!
@kathleensprinkle4308
5 жыл бұрын
@@hannahclaire4683 Same here. High School was negative self talk graduate school. "You could do so much better if you just applied yourself and exercised more self discipline" was my number one training phrase.
@madalen532
5 жыл бұрын
My favorite was "She could do amazing things if the just chose to apply herself."
@kiapet286
5 жыл бұрын
Yes yes yes. "This is an honors course, I expect more from you" was my LIFE through high school
@madalen532
5 жыл бұрын
@@kiapet286 Sounds like you're describing MY LIFE. I didn't get diagnosed until my sophomore year of college, talk about high-functioning mental illness, amiright? I wish I was wrong...
@Sara-vn2kz
5 жыл бұрын
My meds are wearing off and I'm at the end of a work day. I tried watching but couldn't focus enough to understand. I gave you a thumbs up anyway because I know that all your videos bring help to brains and hearts alike. I'll have to watch this again when I have more mental energy. Thanks Jess!
@stephw6046
5 жыл бұрын
You sound like my wife towards the end of the day. She is a fast metabolizer. Anyway, Instead of watching and listening, maybe try just listening? It helps her when she wants to watch a video with me but can’t focus and doesn’t want to take a booster.
@dabi5967
5 жыл бұрын
This is so relatibal its painfull 😶😑😩
@yetibigfoot7350
2 жыл бұрын
@@stephw6046 hahaha I play games on my phone while listening.. that's what helps
@evelyngrace8396
5 жыл бұрын
From a life time of hearing “try harder” It’s nice to hear, “you’re trying hard” every once and a while
@tasuki199
5 жыл бұрын
I forgot to pay the water bill and our water got turned off yesterday. I cringed all morning expecting my family to yell and come down on me... so I came down on myself first. I beat myself up for 3 hours before the woke up and realized what happened. To my shock, the first time in my LIFE.. no lectures. Just understanding. Yes, I had the money. Okay, so lets go fix it. The water was back on in a few hours and it was hardly noticeable, barely an inconvenience! XD But I still cried.. because I was met with love and understanding instead of criticizing and put downs. It made the whole situation seem so... mild. When usually it would feel like a tragedy!
@davidblack9474
5 жыл бұрын
I had a 3 month streak of paying my water bill after 5 on the due date. Which means I got fined $5 After the last time I was literally screaming at the water company to no one
@dcrbdh
3 жыл бұрын
My wife pays our bills.I’ve had credit cards get cancelled cause I’d forget to pay them. I’d remember to pay them in the middle of a meeting, or at some point when I couldn’t do anything about it. Online banking has been a Godsend
@dabi5967
3 жыл бұрын
That is honestly amazing
@larsswig912
2 жыл бұрын
this is my dream
@treason6661
5 жыл бұрын
I just wanted to say thank you for having this channel. It's literally saved my life.
@HowtoADHD
5 жыл бұрын
all the hugs.
@lilajean8146
5 жыл бұрын
* virtually hug!* 🤗
@Sara-vn2kz
5 жыл бұрын
I tried to end my life in November 2014, around the same time I found out I had ADHD. Thankfully my attempt didn't work and 2015 brought better things. I searched for help on KZitem, but there was no ADHD channel. JustMissJenn discussed her ADHD openly, but I really needed a channel that discussed science and research and the broader experience of people like me as well as ways to cope and make life more manageable. I kept searching KZitem every month or two, hoping a channel like this was being created. Finally it was! I'm so grateful to Jessica for making HowtoADHD. If I'd had it in 2014, I might not have tried to get run over by a bus. I'm glad this channel has saved your life, treason6661 . I'm sure it will continue saving others.
@HowtoADHD
5 жыл бұрын
@@Sara-vn2kzawww JustMissJen's video is what inspired me to make my videos public! Originally they were meant to be for me as like an ADHD toolbox but I saw how helpful hers were in the comments and decided to share :D
@HowtoADHD
5 жыл бұрын
@@Sara-vn2kz btw thank you so much for sharing, I think it's so important that we talk about this stuff. I'm glad you're still here. The world needs you.
@ThePurplehazie
4 жыл бұрын
Why do I find myself crying when I watch these videos? Because I'm almost 60 and ADHD has affected my life so much that I feel misunderstood and defeated most of the time.
@skitter8046
3 жыл бұрын
Same here. I have finally started real therapy and am exploring getting ADHD meds. But there's so much damage done by decades of being called careless, sloppy, daydreaming, uncaring, mercurial, etc... that I felt the need to finally address my self-image on top of medicating and developing skills. The ADHD Diagnosed in Adulthood group in Facebook has been very encouraging and supportive for those of us who spent our adult lives undiagnosed. They told me it's never too late to find a better way forward. *Hugs* and luck in your journey through ADHD.
@gergsmail01
Жыл бұрын
❤️
@zabeerfarid7687
Жыл бұрын
You are so valid and wonderful! I hope you live an amazing life!
@SherlaiStevenson
4 жыл бұрын
Reading these comments is like having a virtual support group who all understand what I go through on a daily basis Thank you for making this video!
@maureenbrannon3154
3 жыл бұрын
If you Facebook, beautiful mayhem is a great group. There are others too for ADHD.
@danielkelley3989
5 жыл бұрын
This may be one of the more important videos you’ve done. We are, more often than not, our own harshest critics. When I was growing up in the 70s and early 80s, there was no where near the understanding there is today. You can only be criticized so much before you internalize that feedback. Even now, in my 50s, I’m very quick to be harsh to myself. I sometimes wonder if that’s why rates of drug and alcohol abuse are higher amongst the ADHD community. An escape from our criticism. As always, thank you very much for what you do. Keep up the great work.
@doughartley3513
2 жыл бұрын
It just might be. Alcohol & drugs can deaden the hurt of criticism and when ADHD are criticized so much, it makes sense.
@dead-co8hr
5 жыл бұрын
oof i was JUST struggling with this exact concept bless you 😖
@lilajean8146
5 жыл бұрын
Same!!!
@xavierquintero820
5 жыл бұрын
Same !!!
@leonormorais8509
5 жыл бұрын
Same. 😅
@motherofallfrogs6902
4 жыл бұрын
Aren't us ADHD people always beating are selfs up?
@Mucky1217
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for doing this show. My 8yr old daughter has ADHD and is struggling with what it means, beating herself up, and wishing she didn't have it. I introduced her to your show and she enjoys watching it. She requests to watch it almost daily. It's helping her (and myself) to better understand ADHD.
@gergsmail01
Жыл бұрын
I'm curious, how's she doing now?
@iLuvNeiL7
5 жыл бұрын
-Starts beating everyone else up and not just yourself - NO DUCKIE! THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE MEANT!
@iboppedjonathan3836
4 жыл бұрын
haha me!
@Possiblyabandaid
4 жыл бұрын
Me: Runs away in confusion.
@elfrog98
3 жыл бұрын
* popcorn *
@hellion83
3 жыл бұрын
I actually encounter this in about 1-2 kids out of 40. Rejection sensitivity and overly critical parenting; such a toxic combination.
@thomaswhite3059
2 жыл бұрын
Oooh so *that's* the cycle of abuse.
@b0twin
5 жыл бұрын
Hello from France 🇫🇷 👋 (where ADHD exists too ;).)
@HowtoADHD
5 жыл бұрын
I KNEW IT! :D
@lilajean8146
5 жыл бұрын
Aidex-moi, I don't know French I just Google translate that!!!!🤣🤣
@dabi5967
5 жыл бұрын
Hello France from America!😁😁😂
@Epintus06
5 жыл бұрын
@@lilajean8146 If you want to learn French you can ask, you just found two french people ^^ 🇫🇷
@youvebeenpoisoned5018
4 жыл бұрын
Lila Basener just a tip, replace the x with a z :P
@animaticvee
5 жыл бұрын
It's really telling how ingrained this is when my first reaction was: "I don't deserve to be kind to myself." I often "jokingly" say that I hate myself or put myself down in front of my 2.5 year old and it's an example that I need to stop setting for her. I feel a deep resistance inside for trying this, but I'll try.
@lexafromhowtoadhd2277
5 жыл бұрын
I've struggled a lot with that myself. One of the things that has helped is thinking "All people deserve kindness, so by virtue of being a person, I deserve kindness too." Also, there's research showing that practicing self-compassion helps reduce the risk of burning out from being compassionate to others, so if nothing else, do it for them!
@mavicityrelayson2924
5 жыл бұрын
GAH. I'm currently in an I-messed-up moment and I'm struggling to be kind to myself. When you have insecure attachment, well, it's extra hard to show self-appreciation. I feel like I failed the whole entire world and that the whole world hates me. Just finished my very late deadline. It's 3am where I'm at and it's literally dark and stormy outside. Thanks for this little ray of sunshine.
@aoibhie1208
5 жыл бұрын
Yay. Oh this helps so much. It made me cry, because my parents and grandparents are constantly putting me down, and now I have started doing it to myself. Thank you Jessica. ❤️
@lilajean8146
5 жыл бұрын
* Virtually Hug!* 🤗
@kimdkus
5 жыл бұрын
Oh please don't put yourself down!! It's like yelling at a child bc they don't how to drive. You do things differently and that's ok. Hang tight, be nice to you!
@medha6735
5 жыл бұрын
Abnormal Aoibh it’s ok *hugs*. Sometimes it’s hard but I always take comfort in having wonderful friends, and an awesome sibling that always stands up for me. Your parents are probably scared or repeating behavior taught by your grandparents, but in time, they’ll realize that you’re wonderful the way you are. Don’t resent them for it. :)
@mybinkscat3331
5 жыл бұрын
Your channel helped me realize I was not stupid lazy etc. but most importantly not alone. Thank you!
@randomtrucks
5 жыл бұрын
oh no, oops, look at this, why am I Sobbing Crying in other words: Thank You I Really Needed This Specifically Today
@sessaraquel1
5 жыл бұрын
I haven’t even watched yet, but it literally brought tears to my eyes when the notification for this video popped up. I really need this, This is a God-send right now, thank you.
@mileyrocks852
5 жыл бұрын
Sarah Raquel LaLonde me too, I said it was a God sent video too ❤️ He knows when we need things the most and it looks like a lot of us needed it at this exact time ❤️
@Possiblyabandaid
4 жыл бұрын
I wish I had found it when you did. I might have saved myself a year of torturing myself over a mistake.
@cathy3046
3 жыл бұрын
@@Possiblyabandaid OK... but now that you've seen the video, don't beat yourself up over not having seen it earlier. Its possible you needed that time to process everything about the mistake. I'm glad you've made it to this point... and hope you've been able to give yourself some grace. :-)
@mileyrocks852
5 жыл бұрын
“Give yourself the kindness you’d give a friend” I’m crying, why don’t I ever think of that?
@irishpuno9439
5 жыл бұрын
Ursie Minor I’m gonna cry with you! You’re not alone!
@mileyrocks852
5 жыл бұрын
Irish Puno you too! It feels so good to know others know how I feel ❤️
@ThatMysteriousMan1
4 жыл бұрын
"Do to others as you would have them do to you." - Luke 6:31
@emilys3638
4 жыл бұрын
@@ThatMysteriousMan1 and "Love your fellow as yourself" -- implying that you also must love yourself! Or maybe what we need to hear also is: Don't forget to love yourself the way you love your fellow!
@jonathanhendrix2925
3 жыл бұрын
What if I don't have friends😅😅😅😭
@tobyisfunny
5 жыл бұрын
I swear there's always a moment or two in your videos where I get teary-eyed when I realise that I'm not the only one who has these problems. Thanks for making them, I really enjoy them and they mean a lot to me.
@Kylee_Meera
5 жыл бұрын
Literally in the throes of this right now. I just finished my bachelor's this week which means its finally time to change careers. I've never felt less competent or confident. I keep thinking that in a pile of applicants there's no way I am the one most qualified and that makes me feel like it's not worth trying.
@annaapple7452
5 жыл бұрын
If it helps: you don't always have to be the one most qualified to get the job, please don't focus on that. I have hired lesser qualified people out of the pile of letters because their personality fit the job and/or the team better. Actually, ALL the people I hired were not the highest qualified based on their CV alone. Never regretted it. A great personality trait of most people with adhd is our enthusiasm for things we like (even if you might think it's only "normal"). That is a very powerful tool for writing letters and doing interviews. Wish you the best in finding your way!
@marsanna
5 жыл бұрын
Congratulations on your bachelors!!
@livingmorganism
3 жыл бұрын
If it helps, you aren't alone. I graduated last year too, and because of a lot of different factors, I've been unemployed ever since. Now I'm in a place where I can finally start looking for work again and I'm absolutely terrified. I'm having the exact same thoughts and feelings
@RiverSight
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the perfectly timed video!!! I've been struggling with this for a while now and not knowing what to do.
@jenniferskinner2843
5 жыл бұрын
I just wanted to say hi. Brand new Brain here. Just diagnosed at 35 years old. Feels so good knowing I'm not broken. Started meds 5 days ago and it's already making such a difference. I think I would have been scared to if I hadn't found your channel so thank you.
@phantomcomposer
3 жыл бұрын
So these videos have been making me cry out of happiness and relief because I felt for so long that no one understood me and that no one ever would. It’s such a comfort hearing and seeing these things. Thank you.
@jinmunsuen
5 жыл бұрын
I've been practicing self-compassion, and it's hard; I occasionally catch myself berating and humiliating my efforts when trying to do a task, or getting tongue tied. It's just shocking how often it happens to the best of us, like a sick domestic happening invisibly in the mind lol.
@JonathanRobertAlexander
3 жыл бұрын
GPS: >Location: *Embarrassed and disappointed* >Destination: *Proud & successful* That actually helped a little. 🙂
@leslieyancey5084
5 жыл бұрын
I lost what I thought was a close friend of 4 years this past week suddenly and without warning. Because of that, my old self critic crept back in, telling me I didn't deserve friends, and that his rejection was proof that nobody likes me. This video came in good timing! Thank you.
@LcplMJones
5 жыл бұрын
Jess, thank you! I absolutely felt this way as a child....heck I still do. I am so good at shoving all my issues down into a pit in my soul, but self compassion is huge! And hey...don't forget to apply this to yourself!
@farmboyparanormal6342
4 жыл бұрын
Holy cow I needed this video so much. Was diagnosed with adhd about 20 years ago and this is one thing I still struggle with to this day
@oogaboogas001
5 жыл бұрын
i always feel like im falling short of the perfect version of myself. thankyou for this
@batagur4233
2 жыл бұрын
Three elements to self compassion: 1.common humanity 2.mindfulness 3.self-kindness
@clutteredminds672
5 жыл бұрын
Stop beating yourself up was for me the most important step to feel more selfworth. Even if I fail at something, it's fine. If I succeed, that's fine too. If you fail, that's absolutely fine too. Looking at yourself with the utmost compassion is the most beautiful thing you can do for yourself.... You inspired me so much that I've created my own channel here to vlog about ADHD, insecurities, loneliness etc. If after a month I will lose interest in making videos.....that's absolutely fine too ;)
@thatplatinumlady
5 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad I found your channel. I'm recently diagnosed and you have made me feel like this is the best news in the world. Thank you!!
@notagentpanda
3 жыл бұрын
I have a bunch of work due today and I got really down. I’m in gifted and I take medicine for my adhd. I felt like I am a failure unless I have my medicine. My mom told me to watch your videos. Thank you so much...
@nataliedubious5241
5 жыл бұрын
Self kindness is hard! The combination of RSD and being hypercritical of my own performance used to tie me up in knots and I would end up giving up and running away instead of trying. I'm slightly better (ok, a lot better) these days, since finding this channel gave me the courage to get diagnosed (at 29! A bit over 2 years ago), lifted me up when I felt like I was alone and a failure, and helped to cement the importance of some of my (healthy) coping mechanisms. You do fantastic work
@christina4157
5 жыл бұрын
I recently got demoted at work yesterday and I was beating myself up over it pretty badly, even though I knew it was the right decision for them to make. It was still discouraging, and normally I would just isolate myself but I actually challenged myself to talk to someone in my small group and it helped me feel better quicker instead of keeping bottled up. Thank you!
@Ironfrenzy217
Жыл бұрын
A good reminder. Thanks for this.
@idlevillager3763
4 жыл бұрын
attempts at self compassion just feel like I'm lying to myself, trying to make excuses and thus ends up fueling the flames, so to speak...
@user-s3ts8my2x
3 жыл бұрын
i know how you feel
@jeffw2218
5 жыл бұрын
This is so timely for me. I have made some mistakes last week based off impulse. This has made me question myself over and over again to the point I don't want to be in my head anymore. THANK YOU for this video and for helping me out!
@darthnosam3313
4 жыл бұрын
I literally had a physical emotional response to just reading “try harder” in the beginning of the video!
@rev.rachel
5 жыл бұрын
**sending you all the hugs and encouragement**
@journeytowellness7096
5 жыл бұрын
This video was really needed right now. Lately I’ve been struggling with my shortcomings and how I’ve been processing them, so this was very helpful. Thank you! ❤️
@lilajean8146
5 жыл бұрын
Sameeeee!!!! Thank you soo Jess!!!!!!💕💕
@ThisIsNotADramaChannelFR
5 жыл бұрын
I could've said the same thing before this comment. and it is helpful.
@Diego_Pluisje
4 жыл бұрын
Your vids make me almost cry cause I feel like I'm being understood for once without anyone saying yeah I got it too so what yk. Or people not having it and saying I understand while they don't. You're like a combination you understand it but you're not like complaining? You give such great advice and tips and I feel really understood thx to you and I feel like I start to understand myself
@sophiehinchman6649
3 жыл бұрын
People say I need to stop criticizing myself but I can’t help but feel like it’s valid
@wilma678
5 жыл бұрын
I literally just got back from therapy and we were literally just talking about being compassionate to yourself and not beating my self up. What a coincidence!
@Adam-di3mn
5 жыл бұрын
Yes that's what my first comment on this video was trying to get to but I totally forgot. Same with my therapist.
@Michelle-by9fp
3 жыл бұрын
My counselor told me that too!
@AmandaSbarros
2 жыл бұрын
I'm learning how to drive and sometimes I'm like "ah, of course I'm getting worse, I'm dumb", so this video really helped me
@tinyshiny107
5 жыл бұрын
I need a "Use my location" feature for my emotions because I'm always lost.
@lilajean8146
5 жыл бұрын
I LOVE YOUR CHANNEL!!!!! My little sis and I have ADHD, and you have help us soooo much!!!! My Mom and Dad loves watching you with us, and we have learned thing to help us grow in life!!! Thank you so much!!!!!! I have no idea what I would do with out you!!!!!! Keep rocking your awesome self!!!!!! You change my life, and I know many others!!!!!!!!!!😘😘💕💕 Oh, and sorry if I miss spelled anything, I also have Dyslexia!!😆
@HowtoADHD
5 жыл бұрын
aw that's so cool to hear that you all watch together! You did great with your spelling too :D
@lilajean8146
5 жыл бұрын
Oh, and my Dad calls you the, " Happy ADHD Lady!"!!!🤣🤣 All 4 of my sidlings, and both of my parents love watching you!!!!!😍
@tabitha3861
5 жыл бұрын
I swear, it's like you KNEW I just spent an hour crying in a conference room at work. 😧
@paulsranitacreek9658
5 жыл бұрын
Welcome to Alaska. ADHD exists in the wilderness to
@soniasamivillin743
Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for all the videos you've made so far, and thank you for the once to come 🙃 Your videos make a huge difference. I'd definitely say that these videos help more than all the psychologist and psychiatrist I've met so far.
@luanntrindade
3 жыл бұрын
I’m doing this very often, since I was younger I’m 23 today, I’m focusing on mindfulness but it’s been very difficult
@anadhdprepper6490
5 жыл бұрын
Failure is good because it means your trying to be better, and whether you have adhd or not, you should be proud of yourself for at least trying, and be amazed at yourself when you try again.
@Buffering4now
5 жыл бұрын
I am witing a essay about the inner critic great work! The message needs spreading that we don't have to believe our thoughts!
@HowtoADHD
5 жыл бұрын
would love to read it! send it! jessica@howtoadhd.com
@Buffering4now
5 жыл бұрын
@@HowtoADHD I'll send it over once I've done the editing! However I may need to binge some of your videos to work out how lol! #motivation
@mandaloriandy
4 жыл бұрын
This is really hard, and I hope I can start getting better at treating myself kindly.
@wubwub616
4 жыл бұрын
"Children with ADHD receive 20K more corrections than neurotypical children by the age of 12" - "How many corrections do children with ADHD then receive approximately by the age of 12?" - "About 20K"
@PilrigNorth
5 жыл бұрын
Me, not two days ago: "I should be nicer to myself. That sounds healthy." Me, immediately after clicking on this video: "How did you...?" ADHD hive mind confirmed?
@HiroseFamily5
5 жыл бұрын
Man. I still beat myself up about stuff I did as a kid. . . I'm 37 and things I did as 11 wake me up at night. LOL
@MaddyLee99
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this. I’ve never been diagnosed but my mom and brother have been and so my mom has noticed that I sort of exhibit the symptoms as well. Fun times.
@joydisney
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you! Perfect timing again! I’m having a hard time finding my first school psychologist job in the OC and may need to go back to Substiute Teaching until I find a school psychologist job. I’ve been really struggling with rejection all summer after finding jobs easy the past 20 years! Thanks Jessica and team 😘❤️🤗
@danielemmons412
5 жыл бұрын
Just refreshed my youtube in the midst of a shame spiral and came upon this. Thank you.
@randiqueneal7338
5 жыл бұрын
Thank You! I Love the suggestion: What would I tell a friend to do? That helped me so much. 💞
@lexafromhowtoadhd2277
5 жыл бұрын
Awesome! The insight of "if it wouldn't be helpful to say that to my best friend, why would it be helpful to say to myself?" has been really useful for me.
@randiqueneal7338
5 жыл бұрын
@@lexafromhowtoadhd2277 Absolutely !!! 💞
@dragonballAF78
5 жыл бұрын
Being named Brian and starting this video ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️
@JudeeCorvina
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you Jessica for this video!! This was really important for me to hear c: also! I showed one of my friends your videos and said she might watch more of your videos!! :D
@akana5159
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this video. I really needed it, you’re a lifesaver.
@happy.mess2545
5 жыл бұрын
Even if I manage to not beat myself up, I am frustrated by executive function impairments. I am frustrated by the fact that I want to live a life, knowing how it works, and still not be able to execute, do DO THE THING. I am not beating myself up, but I WANT TO LIVE
@rochellemagno3023
2 жыл бұрын
Life has been tough on me the past few weeks, and I’ve been giving myself the whole, “I should have done…” type of conversations more frequently than ever. Thank you for reminding me to be kinder to myself 🙏🏽
@TannaTime
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video, and channel! I've been trying to make videos over and over again for the past few years and keep stopping thanks to ADHD. I've only recently (few months ago) learned that I have ADHD and a lot of things in my life started to make sense! Also decided to give it another go and probably start streaming and making videos again. It's so hard to be consistent and keep going!
@monsterEN98
4 жыл бұрын
Thank u for this cancel I watch it to make myself not feel so alone
@celestialapparitions
5 жыл бұрын
This is really awesome. I relate to this so hard! Thanks for this video!😊🧠
@Mewki39
Жыл бұрын
I've been struggling so hard my adult life with beating myself down after every mistake, every criticism and i thought something else was wrong with me. As it turns out, my good ol friend adhd and verbal abuse as a child sure does quite a bit to your self-esteem :)
@andrewwood559
5 жыл бұрын
Hi Jess, how long have you been on Elvanse (Vivance) and have you experienced any tolerance?
@allisong6971
5 жыл бұрын
I'm kind of randomly butting in. Vyvanse was my first choice, but it's $300 a month with my insurance :-( I would be able to afford it, but.... I have about $450 in minimum balance payments on my credit cards (part of that is already from a low interest credit card loan that is $209 a month)
@DaveEuson
5 жыл бұрын
This couldn't have come at a more essential time for me. Thank you for this and ALL your content.
@SharlenesJourney
3 жыл бұрын
Here because I’m beating myself up over something 😞
@Canadianhonkindiesel
4 жыл бұрын
Jessica you are so wonderful in your approach on this topic. Wishing you well and keep making these positive and supportive videos. Your heart is so in the right place and helping so many people out there. Again thank you!
@nehamaw
5 жыл бұрын
Wow I needed this video rn! Like I can't even explain how happy I am for this new video! I have a fear of mistakes! Now I can understand why!
@SharlenesJourney
3 жыл бұрын
This is god sent I love your channel and found this video just by searching beating yourself up
@laurastephenson5169
5 жыл бұрын
I love the Emotional Positioning System (EPS)!
@sofiamalmcom
5 жыл бұрын
Wow!!! Thank you :D :D It actually helped me. I tried to record what I would say to a friend and then listened to it myself and it felt weird like, I have never heard myself say something so compassionate to myself haha =)
@paigejohnson9201
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you this is really helpful. I was diagnosed with ADHD because I experience all of the symptoms, but then was undiagnosed because I don’t show the symptoms at school or in public places. Even though I’m still trying to figure out what’s up with my brain, these videos still really help and apply to me.
@ratchet1030
5 жыл бұрын
Back then, I used to beat myself up so often for what went wrong. I am a perfectionist and no wonder why I do it. I still do it to this day but I do it way less than before. When I look back at it, I laugh at myself and tell that nothing is ever perfect.
@kar0lyn_04
5 жыл бұрын
I beat myself up a lot.
@robnation2475
5 жыл бұрын
3:35 Great tip! Pretend that "you" are the "friend" that you want to help/advise. (I often procrastinate by trying to help others and I get distracted ...when I really need to be working on my own "shtuff" ...like right now!
@kimdkus
5 жыл бұрын
I'm new here! I was diagnosed with ADD back in my 20s and was told there was nothing I can do about it. I would beat myself up so hard when I make the smallest of mistakes as that's what I'm used to. It's nice to see someone say, it's ok, let's move on. I love these videos! Thanks for doing them!
@lexafromhowtoadhd2277
5 жыл бұрын
Yup! We're all human, and if there's one thing all humans have in common, it's being terrible at most things and messing up. Mistakes are going to happen, and once one does, the only thing to do is figure out what changes you can make to reduce the likelihood of it happening again.
@kimdkus
5 жыл бұрын
Lexa from How to ADHD oh that’s good!!
@lexafromhowtoadhd2277
5 жыл бұрын
@@kimdkus And if we're going to make changes, first we have to be open and accepting of where we're at and what happened, with as little skew from the bias of judgment as we can.
@kimdkus
5 жыл бұрын
Lexa from How to ADHD can u do a video on how to deal w ADHD on the job in an office setting? As hard as I try I make a lot of mistakes and my boss told me to focus more and make less mistakes. It seems I do work harder than others here and still struggle w stress.
@lexafromhowtoadhd2277
5 жыл бұрын
Come Flag with Me That's actually an episode Jessica was hoping to have me help write since it's an important topic and she doesn't have much personal experience in the matter to draw from. Not sure when specifically we'll get to it but it's definitely a topic we'd like to cover!
@MagicTranceChic94
5 жыл бұрын
Could you make a video about obsessive comlulsive disorders? I'm dure its linked somewhere to my adhd. I constantly bite/pick my fingers to help relax me but its also bad because they bleed and are sore when I type.
@darinemostafa7573
4 жыл бұрын
True story when I was 7 my teacher put me to a competition (before diagnosis) and I came second most people would say that's really good or good job what I say to my self is why didn't you work harder you failed (the difference between us and the team in first place was 1 point) you could have gotten another point and tied first but I got over it I'm still alot harsh on myself but better than before
@metozalee
2 жыл бұрын
My parents alway thought criticizing and punishment would fix my forgetful and daydreaming behaviour instead of sending me to doctor when they found something wrong with me. They thought it was my behaviour ,not adhd or any kind diseases . And they could fix me by forcing me to 'try harder'.Even my teachers at school bullied me for that.
@suckmydingledong
5 жыл бұрын
Reminder: If it’s 4AM and you’re sleeping through the video you can always add it to watch later and prioritize your health.
@ludoviajante
5 жыл бұрын
Hello from Brazil! Love your work :)
@sheriasha18
3 жыл бұрын
Hello From Guyana, where it is here as well, Just Well hidden.
@THExRISER
2 жыл бұрын
1:15 My mom, throughout my whole upbringing, it was paralyzing, aiming for perfection in everything but knowing you can never get there.
@CyckOne
5 жыл бұрын
Not gonna lie. Kinda like "Hello Brians" better than Brains.
@ralphwiggum4107
5 жыл бұрын
8th grade is starting soon and I'm scared because I have a pixie cut (I'm a girl) and people won't think I'm pretty. My brothers say I look like a boy and I keep telling myself that I need to grow it out. I don't want to grow it out tho because I love my short hair...
@thetimelspsechannel1738
5 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for this video. I really struggle with this a lot as I have ADD and Aspergers (I was just diagnosed with the second this month), so as you might imagine, I got corrected a lot. To make matters more complicated not much was known about either when I was younger so Mama struggled with how to help me.
@babynyxe4784
5 жыл бұрын
I beat myself up over literally every little thing, and it's exhausting really. Without a distraction I'll beat myself up until I feel so sad and worthless I don't want to do anything any more. I don't have ADHD, but this video helped me a lot, thanks
@Ojo10
5 жыл бұрын
I beat myself up when I make small mistakes. I forget little things all the time and have a hard time muti tasking at my new job because of it. I'm scared it's going to become a problem for them. But I don't know what I can do about it. And I feel so guilty.
@mileyrocks852
5 жыл бұрын
My whole life since I was born I’ve had adhd. Everyone knew I was a little different and in 4th grade I started taking adderall. It made me stop eating, stop talking, and it never helped me focus. It hid my emotions so I was only depressed and I was always made fun of for being a constant “Debbie downer”. I never felt smart because everyone was able to focus meaning they could learn what was being taught while I was distracted by trying to make myself happy. I graduated knowing the bare minimum and not knowing a single thing about myself. I drowned in my mental illnesses after school ended and I began to become suicidal and very manic. I ran way from home, did some crazy stuff and was blessed enough for my family to welcome me back home as if nothing happened. I started taking the time to learn about myself and fate decided to help me out. I discovered a home where individuals with developmental disabilities lived and decided that it was the best thing for me because I love making people happy and helping anyone in need. It changed my life COMPLETELY. I still have all my mental illnesses of course but it gave me the will to live and improve myself for them so I can help them more. It made me realize that there’s so many people with issues even if they’re different than my own but they accept me like nothing is wrong with me. People with disabilities seem so much more open to the idea that it doesn’t matter if someone is a little different, they could be the nicest person you’ll ever meet. Thank you for helping me even more by helping me with the biggest issues I don’t think I could learn all on my own. This is something I’ve been trying to learn very recently and I appreciate you so much. Thank you for showing me that everything I do that I don’t understand is from my ADHD. But I’d never get rid of it. It makes me who I am and I have never been so proud to have it. ❤️❤️❤️
@xanawsome4808
3 жыл бұрын
This really helps because I have ADHD and from his very severe I have no way out of control my emotions and videos kind of give me a better understanding so thank you for that I think it’s going to help in the future
@bobthehuntsman1548
2 жыл бұрын
Not even sure I have ADHD, but thanks for sharing about an issue I still struggle with.
@meganm7911
4 жыл бұрын
Your videos have definitely changed my life and how I have learned to deal with ADHD. I watched your TEDtalk and it made me cry and realized I finally wasn't alone, and then I decided to get myself evaluated for ADHD, and was diagnosed with both ADD & ADHD. I was already going to counseling and so finding this out helped make sense of some of my struggles in life. I want to thank you for being vulnerable and real, So that I and us Brains know that we have other people who understand and want to help us! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart and please keep sharing! We are here for you too!! ♡ - Fellow Brain
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