Social anxiety needs to be more recognised in schools and the workplace. There is definitely a lack of education in today’s society
@Peonie24
2 жыл бұрын
You're the most uncool kid in school if you lack communication skills . I've struggled with interiority complex almost whole of school days. I've had major anxiety attacks while presenting seminars in college.
@Peonie24
2 жыл бұрын
@@Carl15O3 Rightly said. Even if I try to explain others that I'm not doing things on purpose they don't quite understand me. The thing that gives me courage is that I am in a position to help others through my profession & knowledge and that keep me going but I definitely have a tough time with my colleagues.
@Peonie24
2 жыл бұрын
@@Carl15O3 more power to you 👍👍
@satanramirezramos8367
2 жыл бұрын
yess they think its introvert
@mhmm._537
2 жыл бұрын
@@Peonie24 everyone treats social anxiety as though it’s a choice and therefore something your to be directly put at fault.
@nikkinicole4990
2 жыл бұрын
Anyone else feel like they don’t even know how to walk when by themselves in public? Like with another person I’m fine but when I go shopping alone or walk in the school hallway alone I feel like everyone’s judging me and I like over analyze my every movement? Like am I standing weird? Am I walking weird? What do I do to look natural? It’s so frustrating because I know logically no one cares but I feel so out of place
@TheDeadlyGhost2009
2 жыл бұрын
I can't get in between people because people will exclude me, I can't express myself and I have been bullied a lot.
@dolgolele_
2 жыл бұрын
I feel the same way
@alexas34
2 жыл бұрын
Omg yes I over analyze every move and how I stand. How I go to grab something off the shelve at a store. Every little move I have to think about. it’s sooooo annoying.
@benicedarnit
2 жыл бұрын
Wow definitely same
@kiasia3219
2 жыл бұрын
yes I get this too. some exercises can help like if you can try to slow down your mind and thinking. and one way that can help with this is to slow down your breathing. this makes a big difference for me
@thea411
2 жыл бұрын
it’s so hard to live like this
@PraveenSrJ01
2 жыл бұрын
It definitely is at least for me.
@thechelseachannel794
2 жыл бұрын
Extremely
@tomgu2285
2 жыл бұрын
Extremely I hate my life for it
@infpmediator1497
Жыл бұрын
Impossible !..not only hard 😔😔
@Yoshi92
Жыл бұрын
I'd rather not live, than live like this. Sleep is like a drug.
@Merakireads
2 жыл бұрын
Social anxiety has literally had be ruined... I can't start a normal conversation with people, I get anxious even around students in class i know, I tend to say awkward stuff and rush conversations assuming nobody wants to talk. being 17 and a girl, its really hard living with this especially when I I have such social and outgoing friends. Edit: Things have gotten better for me... during the first month of college, my literature teacher noticed by anxiety. Later on she told me "to not show others your weakness." After that day, I've been working on myself, and I can confidentially say I'm doing much better. I don't fidget, I make eyecontact and I start conversations with those in my class.
@lizbilly5017
2 жыл бұрын
Felt this!!
@almiya2225
2 жыл бұрын
It ruined my education and don't know what to do next Btw I'm 18 years old
@blankspace7161
2 жыл бұрын
Search -'Sean Cooper social anxiety' that's the best one I found how as to overcome social anxiety
@peuliti9704
2 жыл бұрын
Me too
@umeshgamer4
2 жыл бұрын
@@peuliti9704 do you walk normally in public with social anxiety or walk weird please reply me😭😭😭
@rachelgrant2730
2 жыл бұрын
Does anyone else feels like their social anxiety causes them to rush through small conversations? I catch myself doing this a lot and it's as if I'm running from people and their interaction even though I want to interact with them. It's like my mind and body is contradicting itself. Can anyone with social anxiety relate?
@ulifeinfo1319
2 жыл бұрын
That same way I feel dear. Dying within...... 😢😢
@bintehahashim196
2 жыл бұрын
Same.. Like I wanna talk to people slowly and enjoy the conversation and I always imagine that in my head but when someone actually started talking to me I will respond very quickly that I always feel bad because that person might not like the way I responded. It's like i am rushing and trying to end the conversation. Some times I stutter too. I hate when that happens because it clearly shows how nervous I am. Some people at my work place notice that and one day this one lady came up to me because she wanted to get some paper from me and she was standing beside while waiting and I guess she's worried if I will get nervous so she said to me "I'm sorry in advance if im making you nervous." and I just replied "no, it's okay." i'm just suprised that she suddenly blurted out that way and that made me realised that some people at my work place probably already aware of me being anxious. It somehow makes me grateful/thankful in a way.
@akkir3268
2 жыл бұрын
@@bintehahashim196 much love and hugs to you ! Dw take care of yourself! ☃️💕❣️
@bintehahashim196
2 жыл бұрын
@@akkir3268 thankyou so much! i appreciate this alot! 😄💕
@noman5647
2 жыл бұрын
@@janopgt5145 i feel the same way.🥺
@karinaselene2134
2 жыл бұрын
I had to leave college because of social anxiety (and others), even when I love what I was studying back then. Now, I am having trouble with job interviews as I get scared of what people think of me. It is irrational and destructive. In fact, it is very destructive and it is very real. I hope more people would understand, thank you so much for this.
@sidneybrainz2622
2 жыл бұрын
We have something in common.
@hotwing38
2 жыл бұрын
I left college because of it too
@francisco6969
2 жыл бұрын
Don’t let this ruin your life get some help if you haven’t !
@dauntethomas7738
2 жыл бұрын
I struggle with this too bro. Currently get a job & quit it immediately after because I get to overwhelmed/anxious. I know it’s irrational, but I just can’t get over it. It’s pushing my family & loved one away & I do understand. I just know it is real & I’m not sure how to overcome it. I try to get help but its not taken very seriously.
@timklafke4712
2 жыл бұрын
I haven’t gone to college because of it and I’m nearly 2 years out of high school already, it fuckin sucks and literally kills you inside.
@cinnnnnamon
Жыл бұрын
my parent highly misunderstood my social anxiety. they always said “oh she just don’t like people” “she’d rather be alone” i do enjoy the company of people. it’s just i could never get myself to talk to people. i always wanted to be that girl who had a lot of friends, who always had plans with others, who had someone who i can pick up the phone and call anytime. every time i see that girl who can easily start conversations with people i just think “i wish i can be like her”. but i hold no hope. i think that this is something that i’ll struggle with my entire life with no escape.
@lizbethvilla9180
Жыл бұрын
Omg i relate to you. Its not that i don't like the conpany of other people it's that its hard to talk to new people:( i want to be like the outgoing girls who make friends essily and can talk to strangers easily :(
@kierlak
10 ай бұрын
You don't need to be outgoing like others. There's nothing wrong with being a quiet one and having few friends. I would recommend a book called: Quiet. It changed my life and helped me with self-acceptance. It's often the society/culture that puts pressure on us to fit in.
@chris7285
10 ай бұрын
@@kierlak we know that but we want to. It’s called being extroverted with social anxiety. If you don’t like talk as much then you’re probably introverted, this also doesn’t mean you can’t be socially anxious.
@ella1125
Жыл бұрын
I graduated high school last year. I am nearly 19 and I have never worked, I have no friends, no relationship. Social anxiety has robbed me of the life I could have had. I had social anxiety as long as I can remember. Social anxiety stopped me from trying new things, so I never developed any hobbies. I haven’t gone to university because it’s too much for my anxiety. I often wonder what I could’ve been like if someone had figured out what I was struggling with at a younger age.
@Sarah-he4bk
Жыл бұрын
It’s not too late to do any of those things. I feel the same way, I’m 19 too. I feel like everything is over already but I have to remind myself I’m still so young. You can still go to school and have friends and relationships I promise
@person2702
Жыл бұрын
It's crazy, we are the same age, we have exactly the same ploblem, but we live in different country, and have different culture... We really are not so alone as we think
@tharos7328
11 ай бұрын
I recently graduated from high school, and I've never worked either. Not long ago I lost a job opportunity... and I've been feeling regret and guilt. In fact, it's not the first one I've lost. One day I can be optimistic and feel motivated, and the next day I have already forgotten about my dreams. I think it's been like this since I was 13. When the pandemic came, I was glad I didn't have to go to school... I think I've been avoiding everyone and everything for too long, but now I must confront myself... and it's not easy.
@scarscarscarwu
8 ай бұрын
Im currently 17 going on 18 and I feel the same. Had my friends not came up to me I would have no friends. I quit my temporary customer service job early, and grouo projects and presentations in university are making me have panic attacks.
@ella1125
8 ай бұрын
@@scarscarscarwu it’s good to know we aren’t alone. I’m starting university in a week and I’m also terrified for group projects and all that. I think the best thing we can remind ourselves is that many others feel the same 🫶🏻
@val-zod1284
2 жыл бұрын
I’ve had social anxiety ever since I was in the 6th grade. I moved to America and left all of my friends behind, only to get severely bullied for my appearance for the first two years. At first, I could handle social situations, now I dread it. I genuinely hate the man that I see in the mirror and I know other ppl judge the way I look subconsciously. I’m 20 years old now and all I want is just to feel normal. To not feel like I’m being judged
@val-zod1284
2 жыл бұрын
Thinking of saving up to get plastic surgery and fix the parts of my face that I despise because that’s truly the only way I think I can overcome this
@turkeybut
2 жыл бұрын
@@val-zod1284 dont
@JordanAK907
2 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry you were bullied and developed social anxiety :( I hope you come to understand that your worth as a person isn't impacted by your looks or how people perceive you. You deserve to accept and love yourself, always ❤ When talking to yourself, it can help to imagine that you're talking to yourself as a child. You wouldn't berate and blame a child for their hardships or flaws, you'd accept and support them. So that's how you try to treat yourself, with compassion
@ClementineCreative
2 жыл бұрын
Please don’t change your appearance. You are worthy just as you are. Please find a psychologist to talk to. I promise you, it helps.
@lizbilly5017
2 жыл бұрын
@@val-zod1284 felt this deep In my heart :(( but pls don’t change your appearance for other people!
@X82oo781
2 жыл бұрын
She highlights it well - I don’t desire to be alone bc I have s.a. But it’s the fear of rejection and being disliked which pushes me to being alone
@NanaCodedl
2 жыл бұрын
I really enjoyed this presentation. I have social Anxiety as well and for me I enjoy social interaction like I crave it but I have the fear of being rejected so sometimes I hold back on how I feel or I change myself to fit the image of how I think other ppl will like me. And I really hate eye contact. Also any time I interact with someone I plan ahead of what I’m gon say cuz if I mess up or stutter or say the wrong thing I will think abt it forever & criticize myself for the mistake.
@erikanthonyc
2 жыл бұрын
This comment made me feel like I’m not alone because I relate to every single thing about it. Thank you
@caramelkissss
2 жыл бұрын
Yes, I do the same. We are bot alone in this.
@yokabs3194
2 жыл бұрын
I feel the same
@fgoodman100
2 жыл бұрын
@@erikanthonyc so glad you found it helpful Erik. you are certainly not alone.
@mhmm._537
2 жыл бұрын
Literally speaking to me. Everything exactly. I love people and talking. When i finally overcome the anxiety and make a friend I can talk for hours.
@pxzels39
2 жыл бұрын
Social anxiety has taken over my life.
@meharhayer6852
2 жыл бұрын
I overthink everything, even around my family I feel like I'm being judged. I hate myself for not talking to someone when I have the chance, I spend so long thinking about it that the chance goes away. Almost everyone in my family has some sort of anxiety, so I thought that they would understand. But to them I am still just shy, and I will just grow out of it. I know that it probably won't go away it self, but I get scared that asking for help would make it worse since then I would probably be put in more situations to talk.
@anegron3285
2 жыл бұрын
I feel the same. Expect most of my family are all extrovert they still don't understand me. I think I am shy. But I do think I have social anxiety and I am shy and introvert. Or maybe my social anxiety made me became shy and introvert
@jacintasntos
2 жыл бұрын
This is the comment that describes me the most. Thank u for sharing
@katizzle92
2 жыл бұрын
How many of you actually feel more anxious around certain family members compared to other people? I feel so alone with this because it always seems like people with social anxiety at least feel comfortable around their family and close friends. I guess I so desperately want a close relationship with these family members that I end up making myself feel really uncomfortable but when I'm talking with strangers I don't really care so I don't feel nervous if that makes sense.
@cvetlanasvet1107
2 жыл бұрын
100 %
@zixzizia1066
2 жыл бұрын
I totally understand what you mean. You’re definitely not alone. It can feel quite frustrating and embarrassing to feel this way around family, especially immediate family when we’re supposed to have a certain unbreakable dynamic. Yet, I struggle to navigate how to do that in a way that isn’t forced or robotic. Sometimes I don’t know what to say so I isolate in order to avoid making them uncomfortable.
@katizzle92
2 жыл бұрын
@@zixzizia1066 you hit the nail on the head 💯💯
@alexas34
2 жыл бұрын
I’ve always kind of been more comfy around strangers (for the most part) than acquaintances and friends. It’s the weirdest thing. I am so uncomfortable around my coworkers especially. I hate it. I don’t know what to do.
@zixzizia1066
2 жыл бұрын
@@alexas34 same with me. I’d say it’s like having a fresh slate, they haven’t really defined who you are yet so you get to re invent yourself to an extent.
@DayanaPlays
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this. I've suffered from social anxiety since middle school and now I'm 26 and it has not gotten any better! Will definitely take and apply the tips mentioned on this video! thank you
@zoegyal1032
2 жыл бұрын
Your meeeee
@DayanaPlays
2 жыл бұрын
@@zoegyal1032 🧡
@shilosayuri
2 жыл бұрын
Same I just lost my job because of it :(
@matty301
2 жыл бұрын
@Jessica J stop it please.
@peachygecko9452
2 жыл бұрын
I'm 21 and totally relate the same with you. Time has not changed anything yet instead made it worse 😔
@anithamore
6 ай бұрын
Social anxiety ruined my career. I couldn't hold a job. I feel intense fear during meetings, presentations and speaking with clients. Once I even had physical symptoms. My heart beating so faster, my hands shewering, my voice shaking, I couldn't breath. It was so obvious. It took me years to understand what my problem is. I used to think that working in corporates is not my cup of tea but later understood that it's fear not hate. I like my job. But I'm afraid to talk to people. By the time I understood my problem it was too late. I already lost many opportunities.
@DrTynessaFranks
2 жыл бұрын
So glad that I came across this video. My focus is on helping people with social anxiety, and even amongst other mental health professionals I find that social anxiety is misunderstood and not taken seriously enough. Thanks for bringing attention to this, Dr. Goodman.
@fgoodman100
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Dr. Franks!
@judyd8310
2 жыл бұрын
Anyone know about avpd
@miabarnes6102
2 жыл бұрын
my social anxiety is ruining my life in the sense that i’m scared of going to a shop as i don’t want to talk to the cashier, if i have a friend with me i make them pay for my things, my most recent relationship i was called frigid because i was so anxious all the time, and i’m struggling to get a job because i’m scared to ask for one
@LongCOVIDAdvocator
2 жыл бұрын
Same. I created a watchlists but I am scared to submit an application electronically. I had someone laughing at my face because I was doing laundry awkwardly, I can't even think right, and I was a mess. I don't want that to happen again if I decide to work closely with my co-workers in the work environment.
@miabarnes6102
2 жыл бұрын
@@LongCOVIDAdvocator i’ve been applying for a few jobs around my town but i’m just waiting to hear a reply.. it’s not applying for the job i struggle with anymore, it’s the actually job and having to talk to my coworkers and the customers. i’m okay in school it’s just outside of school
@shae6100
2 жыл бұрын
@@LongCOVIDAdvocator whoever laughed in your face is awful. I hate how people treat us just because we have anxiety. Yes they may not know we have it, but if mocking us or assuming the worse is what they choose to do then that's not right in my book. That just makes me more closed off from people because they are so judgemental. That was one experience you had though I pray you find employment that has compassionate people you'll be surrounded by. That's also one of fears too.
@shae6100
2 жыл бұрын
@@miabarnes6102 have you ever heard of exposure therapy? The more you confront what makes you anxious is the less anxious you'll be. I know that but God knows, it's still nerve wrecking. I hope you find a good employment where the people are very nice to you and after a while I'm assuming you'll be feeling less anxious.
@rha5120
2 жыл бұрын
i struggle the same with all of you! i hope one day we can have growth :)
@Nunofyourbusinesses
2 жыл бұрын
Omg thank you so much for this talk. I am in tears when watching this. I suffer from severe social anxiety. People don’t understand how can I do a speech to a large audience comfortably but cannot foundation in a non-work related social situation.
@rishitamalhotra7564
2 жыл бұрын
Exactly! This was the reason I kept misunderstanding my social anxiety as introvertedness. I can give a speech pretty comfortably but become a nervous wreck while making a simple conversation with someone
@Drummer8nimation
2 жыл бұрын
What types of personalities or people makes you more anxious than normal
@caz6277
2 жыл бұрын
Yes its a fear of rejection that keeps us alone. What she said about avoiding interaction so that people have less data points on which to reject you hit hard. We're alone because we're scared of being alone .
@RandomPhycoticness
2 жыл бұрын
Listening to this like an audiobook while working and it got so heavy. I believe my social anxiety started at age 9 and here I am almost 30 at work still trying to understand it. 😓 hang in there guys
@JudyyAbbott
2 жыл бұрын
9 is very young age and i believe my social anxiety started at age 7 when i was so confused about friendship goals and all of these childhood social interactions at 1nd class , the beginning of my school life or maybe i couldn't even discover myself enough. I am going to be 21 soon -which horrifies me because i feel so old myself already- and i guess i'll never change this brutal characteristic feature forever and i won't even learn how to hide it. Social anxiety is horrible. It makes you feel so alone, so isolated. I wish there is a way to fix this...i wish.
@RandomPhycoticness
2 жыл бұрын
@@JudyyAbbott Aw me too. Don’t try to hide it, try to embrace it. I find trying to hide it makes it more noticeable 😣 sometimes I want to just shout to the world “I’m acting weird because I have social anxiety and every moment feels like I’m public speaking in front of an audience” but that also might give a weird reaction… point is, acknowledging the social anxiety can sometimes relive the pressure it causes
@merc340sr
7 ай бұрын
My social anxiety keeps me from looking for a job. I fear I will be criticized and belittled...
@shalxnda
2 жыл бұрын
i hope more people watch this because lots of people think this means being an introvert when those are two different things.
@megananten6820
2 жыл бұрын
I’ve never felt more I understood than I do listening to this..
@PraveenSrJ01
2 жыл бұрын
I’m 38 going on 39 years old and have had major social anxiety since I was born in 1983. I am on the autistic spectrum and prefer structure and organization in my job. I work in the accounting office at Wegmans and also a cashier and have been doing that all of my career. I hope to change this one day which I hope will be soon 🔜 since life is very short.
@incubus_the_man
2 жыл бұрын
Same age as you. I got a degree from a state university on campus but I was never able to use it because I failed in networking to get a job. I now work in a factory on an assembly line. It sucks but I'm still trying to move my life situation forward. I feel that fighting my SAD is the only way I will survive. I'm still single without kids, so financially I have more options.
@PraveenSrJ01
2 жыл бұрын
@@incubus_the_man do you get along well with your coworkers socially there?
@PraveenSrJ01
2 жыл бұрын
@Mustafa Hussein I know exactly how you feel mustafa and really hope things improve for you. It isn’t easy or fun dealing with social anxiety.
@yearginclarke
Жыл бұрын
I'm 37 and my whole life has been held back dramatically by social anxiety. I've had very minor successes at best.
@madisonguckin6386
2 жыл бұрын
I’m not sure how relatable this is. Very often, I have to plan my script of what I say, what I do, how I present myself. I cannot create conversations with others in recreational social situations without practicing for hours in the mirror. My life is hindered by the fact that I don’t know how to talk to people bc of my social anxiety being so prevalent
@kritikarai1622
2 жыл бұрын
I'm 20..and I never knew I had social anxiety till now.. Back in school I used to think why do I act so indifferent while others are so normal and so charming.. Even in my home I always had this uneasiness.... Now I'm studying in college, I still care how people around me view and think...this lead me as an outcast... I never wanted to be one but I ended up everytime... Recently I've been researching about myself and came in conclusion that the cause of my problem was this... Like dang! I do have social anxiety... I hope one day I'll overcome this.. And hoping same for everyone who's facing somewhere alone and fighting within themselves.... We got this! 💪🤧Peps
@fgoodman100
2 жыл бұрын
You got this for sure.
@marys3738
2 жыл бұрын
I have been bullied in the past and I developed social anxiety so I'm usually very quiet and avoid the spot light at all costs
@tomgu2285
2 жыл бұрын
Same.
@cassie8903
Жыл бұрын
Watching this 2 and a half hours before my first college public speaking class my chest hurts so bad from anxiety
@nitoginko2187
Жыл бұрын
How did it go?
@cassie8903
Жыл бұрын
@@nitoginko2187 I presented my first speech and it actually went pretty good! It wasn't perfect but I wasn't as nervous actually being up there as I expected to be
@nitoginko2187
Жыл бұрын
@@cassie8903 Congratulations! I hope it continues going this well for you in the future
@hibird7304
2 жыл бұрын
Some of the cause with social anxiety is there already being somebody being in there life pointing out and criticizing them making their fear of criticism in public worse!
@briannaschmidt5152
Жыл бұрын
I hate my social anxiety with everything inside me. And ppl find me so odd. No how many times I tell them that I struggle with social anxiety. They say “well just stop being awkward” Geee never thought of that one!!!😳🙄 I always wish to be “normal” and want to stop being this way so bad 💔💔 I come home everyday extremely mad at myself and disappointed.
@aizya_riya1386
4 ай бұрын
❤
@its_gigixx
2 жыл бұрын
social anxiety is literally ruining my life…i try to explain to my mom about how i feel like i’m literally going to pass out whenever i even think about having to socialize with people i don’t know but she gets mad at me and tells me to get over it…i can’t even go into a business and ask if they’re hiring because i am so scared and i don’t even know why
@ahmedmazih4845
3 ай бұрын
Im very happy to find people like me here, its really deficult to live with this, when you are by yourself you think that you can achieve alot of things but once you are among of people your brain starts to lose control, the same with your body, I was thinking that im a weak person so i made a decision to go to the army and try a hard experience, but after that hard experience here im i, what i came with is just to find out how to live with it and try to let go every bad moment. peace !!
@maiiamusic
2 жыл бұрын
I love that when she talked about doctors screening for SAD, she then said "she" for an example doctor. Made me really happy :). This was incredible and Dr. Goodman captured social anxiety very accurately for me, as well as reframed solutions in an understandable way.
@chocomarshmallowz2733
2 жыл бұрын
as an introvert im not afraid of rejection, im much rather aftaid of making life choices such as a career i know doesnt fit me, i do it for the sake of earning money but I know im not gonna enjoy it. Im actually a college student taking secondary education but i have a strong anxiety, my problem is i dont know what I want in life, and when it comes to jobs i dont want to make a mistake i will regret. My aim right now is to get a degree but after that i dont know what to do.. i still find it terrifying to teach and everytime I muster up courage and confidence to report and talk I ended up feeling so drained and stressed out at the end of the day. Its like a daily depression in a nutshell.
@Queensofthecupcakes
2 жыл бұрын
i’m in the exact same boat, it’s such a struggle :(
@youtubeguy1886
2 жыл бұрын
Introvert doesn’t equal social anxiety disorder
@CoopisLegend
2 жыл бұрын
I never really had social anxiety, it was when I started getting bullied in school from a young age by kids and classmates! I lost alot of confidence and it made me not trust people. As I got to High school it got worse, I had alot of fake "friends". They would be very two face, toxic and put me down. Now I'm just careful with who I talk to and I'm only comfortable around certain people, that I don't think will cause me any harm.
@justcalcio747
2 жыл бұрын
Many TED talks are ok and meh at times, even about social anxiety. Now i see Dr.Goodman having this speech, entering my brain, hitting my soul and i don't see much appreciation in the comments. I think that was one of the best TEDs speechs i've seen, thank you dr.Goodman
@N0GraviT
Жыл бұрын
Very informative take on this. From my experience growing up with social anxiety throughout my school years, there was no real effort put in to detect social difficulties for anyone, social anxiety-based or not. I guess the assumption schools went under is that “if you need help, you’ll reach out for it,” but the sad reality for people who react to S.A like me is that we’re often too afraid to even reach out for help due to fears of scrutiny and judgement. Still affects me to this day in college, I recently motivated myself to break the barrier and reach out for professional help, but not everyone will succeed with this and it’s a real problem
@hagfishslimer
2 жыл бұрын
I have her as a professor, she is great!
@Tacoman1967
2 жыл бұрын
She's very attractive and smart.
@adavis8423
2 жыл бұрын
Dr. Goodman brought up the fear of rejection many times. In my case I do not fear rejection, I expect it. The fear is that they say yes, its an instant spotlight of having to prove your worth. The overthinking and self doubt that start immediately makes being accepted just as worse of an outcome than being rejected where you get to go back to the status quo. Which leads to simply avoiding to be the first to initiate in conversations all together.
@TheGingaKiwi
2 жыл бұрын
I’m getting anxious just thinking about someone else giving this great presentation.
@undeadbanana9367
2 жыл бұрын
This woman helped me more than years of therapy
@mymoviemania1
7 ай бұрын
wait, you took therapy and it didn’t work well?
@lewisjeffreys9175
Жыл бұрын
Reading through the comments I realised that I am older than many of you. Please get some help if you can, it will not go away on it's own. I am in my 50s now and my anxiety is as bad as it has ever been, maybe worse. Over the years it has cost me career advancement, study opportunities and friendships. My life is not bad but it could be so much richer.
@badguykp3000
2 жыл бұрын
loved this. i really want to enjoy my 20s but going out and being social really scares me and i hate it. when i do muster the courage to go, i end up leaving the event like 30 mins in
@Kadinwax
2 жыл бұрын
got tired of thinking that i wasn’t good enough for anyone got tired of sitting alone at lunch when i literally get complimented on my looks all the time but yet i still hide in the shadows like i’m an unwanted little alien but i never tell anyone this and have kept this to my self for a while it sucks but i’ll get over it eventually only you can stop your social anxiety
@0xymor3
2 жыл бұрын
It's interresting how I was not feeling at all this idea of not being noticed by others when I only feel secured when I hide from them. 🙃 This video helped me realize more of the emotional aspect of this illness I only get diagnosed recently, the decaded part she mentionned is not a joke, I wish this was more known worldwide. We lack emotional and mental education everywhere. This needs to change.
@FreddyBoBeddy
Жыл бұрын
2:53 Felt like she was talking directly to me, with how accurate all of this part was.
@ellejaycopeland8835
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you great video thanks been struggling with social anxiety for years but it's people like you who help me get through so hard for me started when I was bullied at school but I'm a fighter stronger just suffer in the mind keep making these videos so I can overcome.
@fgoodman100
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for your thoughtful note. You are a fighter indeed. And I will keep using any platform I have to crush the stigma of social anxiety and foster social courage.
@ellejaycopeland8835
2 жыл бұрын
@@fgoodman100 Thank you so much for understanding I will keep watching please keep posting one love ❤️
@myco_chaotix
2 жыл бұрын
This speaker was well spoken, and provided pertinent and educational information.
@TaylorGWells
2 жыл бұрын
Great speech. Thank you for sharing your knowledge of this subject with the world.
@praisegod3768
Жыл бұрын
Has anyone else felt that social anxiety is contagious? What I mean is, when you are constantly worried about saying the right thing, not offending anyone, feeling guilt/shame, etc., other people in your circle may start to mirror your behavior?
@tammibrown5074
Жыл бұрын
I see this alot and it is disheartening. But atleast i get a glimpse of how im coming across in my anxious behaviours and it aint pretty.
@bronwenriddiford2330
2 жыл бұрын
I fear social interaction constantly. I don’t feel that I am rejected. It’s the fear of making normal conversation with strangers.
@Freshadventures_
Жыл бұрын
Same. I feel like a vietnam vet with ptsd when I am around people. My brain reacts to people as a danger.
@ellejaycopeland8835
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for using Ricky Williams as an example he is one of my favorite football players his story can inspire me im not alone I want to be free.
@kiwi-jc7cp
2 жыл бұрын
Just started college this week and I’m already debating dropping out because of my social anxiety. I can barely start conversations with others and I’ve yet to make even one friend. I’m tired of this continuous cycle of wanting to open up and talk to people but when I’m given the chance I hold back and fall victim to my fears.
@nightingale7367
Жыл бұрын
I went through this exact same experience when I started college newly too. It was scary. I didn't have any friends, nobody talked to me because I wasn't talking to anyone. Some people told me it's because I frown all the time so I look like a rude person even when I knew that I wasn't (my face is just like that). I was drowning in despair. I really contemplated leaving and also battled with severe loneliness and dark thoughts. I won't say I'm free from anxiety now because I'm still battling with it..but I now have one friend. And to me, that's a lot. I just want you to hang in there. I can't say for sure if it'll ever get better, but hope is all we have. You're doing your best. You're surviving, no one knows the battles you're facing internally. So keep surviving. Sorry if this is too long.
@mariamart_0
Жыл бұрын
@@nightingale7367It is ok. I’m an upcoming 12th grader. I’m an senior right now. We all have some socially anxious and awkward emotional moments with people we know and we don’t know. But we all have to support each other and make sure we are okay as well entirely.
@elias4571
Жыл бұрын
Story of my life
@martimihov
2 жыл бұрын
I am am exchange student in Italy and it feels awful since all my friends left and i have nobody. I have never been a person who can talk to strangers first, even though before the pandemic i felt confident and like l am an interesting person. The biggest problem is that i hardly speak Italian and most people here don't speak good Enlish.I feel so trapped because i dont know how to find this feeling again. Probably many people feel like me but I cannot live the life i deserve and i really hope whoever feels like me to overcome this❤
@Tacoman1967
2 жыл бұрын
My daughter who is 7 inherited my social anxiety. I pray that I can help her pass through it.
@botmsj
8 күн бұрын
It is also because you're simply not interested to discuss and share moments with others, or even too lazy. So the most effective tactic is to not initiate contact. You are anxious that the avoidance could fail.
@歩鳥-f3s
2 жыл бұрын
I agree that early detect help the people with mental illness I have had SAD from 10 or younger, but no one around me thought i have illness although i couldn't go school identified my illness when i was 23 years-old this illness completely trashed my life what we can do is knowing mental illness accurately, just doing this help people with it and yourself because there is a chance to have mental illness for everyone it's late after you or someone close to you have
@jaysonfigueroa6075
2 жыл бұрын
Is It weird to tell people I have social anxiety disorder? I told my brother that I told my coworkers about it, and he acted like that was the most craziest, embarrassing thing ever. I feel as though telling people beforehand will make them understand why we act the way we do.
@nitoginko2187
2 жыл бұрын
I personally wouldn’t think this is weird for the exact same reason you already said. Maybe your brother thinks it’s something very personal to tell others about you, with whom you are not very close to. But I agree with you. It will probably make it more pleasant for everyone of you.
@Kijimea1
2 жыл бұрын
I have suffered from social anxiety since childhood. I feel most insecure when I have to speak. I make grammatical mistakes or get my words mixed up. That's why I don't speak much, because I make these mistakes regularly.
@lucyhenderson7154
Жыл бұрын
I have had social anxiety for my whole life. I have always been known as the outcast and the weird, quiet one at school and at work. I found that medication and advice were the only things that helped. Although I still have a fear of people and being judged. I have other incurable illnesses as a result and I have never been married or had many friends. So it has kinda ruined my life.
@Freshadventures_
Жыл бұрын
You sound just like me. I relate to everything you said. I have fallen into a deep depression for over a decade now because of social anxiety.
@enzofrancescoli1260
2 жыл бұрын
I have a big issue with dr. Goodman's lecture and every other conclusion related to social anxiety. All they want from you is to raise your hand and say that you have problem, tap you on the back and direct you to adequate treatment. But none of them are trying to address the cause of mental illness. Our world is changing in such a radical way that we feel we cannot keep up with it. Corporations, media, PR experts, modern marketing are controlling people's minds and needs and creating an atmosphere of endless consumer and lifestyle needs for the sake of mass consumption. We feel we can't keep up with it and distance ourselves from the outer world in order to find peace and solitude. It's is necessary to slow down the tempo of our life and change the system we live in. But that's the complicated part so it's better to send you to treatment. No help at all.
@DarthRancid
2 жыл бұрын
I also think asking people to raise their hands if they have this problem is like asking people to be singled out in the workplace as not having the capability to perform in certain situations and therefore require to be handled differently to in those situations, .aka special treatment. Companies don't want to be saddled with these inconveniences while having to pay the same salaries. It can become a burden, especially if you are singled out by raising your hand.
@MonsieurC64
2 жыл бұрын
You are so right. Also, only a person with real social anxiety (past or present) can understand how deep it goes, you can't transfer the experience. I think this mental illness is a product of our modern civilization. I doubt anyone would be able to find socially anxious people amongst the traditional societies. Our society is all about consuming, producing and money. Humans are being treated as products. Products are being judged, and given a monetary value. This is mostly how human relationships function in the modern world, in most situations, and we are raised thinking it's just normal and natural. It seems like socially anxious people are much more affected by this reality than most people.
@shrutimanjrekar4916
2 жыл бұрын
@@MonsieurC64 I have mentioned my social anxiety to my friend, I tried to describe what it feels like - why I used to be quiet in class but he was bored, and yet he got mad at me because I failed a job interview. He can't accept the fact that such a debilitating anxiety exists. (He has pretty good social skills and he is an ENFJ) Also my parents get frustrated at me for being so anxious.
@MonsieurC64
2 жыл бұрын
@@shrutimanjrekar4916 Sorry to read. I know how it sucks. Before internet times, I kind of thought I was the only person in the world with this problem, feeling like a freak. Didn't even know this condition had a name. At least there is some progress here, you can find information these days. But finding a real cure is another story.
@khalid4715
3 ай бұрын
social anxiety is increases my chances to be rejected everywhere like, job interviews, making friends, meetings, social gatherings, etc... which makes me feel not welcomed or wanted, my confident reduces and i give up perusing new goals in life and become depressed and now i spend most of my time at home alone, not going out.
@BeYourUniquePotential
2 жыл бұрын
How wonderful. Thank you for this beautiful session. I found your knowledge and explanations so sensitive and soft and warm. When there is a willingness to connect with others, anxiety can be explored, with awareness in order to reduce it's impact. Patience, showing up and being kind to ourselves when we fall is like retraining the amygdala in the present moment. With awareness, this becomes our super power to being with the anxiety that comes and managing it better. Waving to you with love, Marie-Louise from Cornwall, UK ❤
@thechelseachannel794
2 жыл бұрын
So well spoken. Exactly how it is
@vldmax5663
2 жыл бұрын
I have a very rare case of social anxiety. I was never anxious until I moved countries and schools which caused bullying due to cultural differences and language barrier. Now at 27 people are shocked if I tell them I have social anxiety because even in groups of people I can be very chatty and one on one I have no anxiety at all. But for me the main problem is overthinking everything and actually pushing myself to go out into social situations. On my way to meet with friends I would be having a panic attack thinking of all possible negative outcomes but once Im there everything seems fine. This results in me locking myself away at home most of the time or drinking alcohol before I meet people which is an ever bigger problem in itself.
@purplepie4361
2 жыл бұрын
I've the same condition
@faridb40
2 жыл бұрын
This lecture really hit home
@cherrysIushie
2 жыл бұрын
Social anxiety has absolutely ruined my life. I hate it.
@Freshadventures_
Жыл бұрын
Same here.
@marcodeluca4068
2 күн бұрын
I think that most social anxieties is a luxury and thats why people in other countries don’t have this luxury. The need to do something is a necessity over achievers understand this necessity.
@burger8036
2 жыл бұрын
people that are rude triggers mine I feel dizzy sometimes.
@erindougherty1999
3 ай бұрын
The part about being socially rejected from a social group really hit home. I’ve been feeling so lonely since my social anxiety has gotten worse but don’t know how to overcome it.
@stevenmcburney8167
2 жыл бұрын
I cried while watching this because of how afraid I am atm. There’s this big event happening on Monday and it would be the first concert I go to. I’m trying so hard to just force myself to go to it. I still need to buy the proper clothes to wear to it. I feel lightheaded and I was afraid to ask my friend for her Snapchat so I could ask for her opinion on the clothes I pick out. It truly is a damn struggle but I know I will regret it if I run away now
@80YearOldWoman...
Жыл бұрын
I'm really proud of you
@JackGallagher2014
2 жыл бұрын
I’m getting help I cannot let this ruin my life anymore it’s unbearable
@80YearOldWoman...
Жыл бұрын
Good on you ☺☺
@yuriahroy8442
2 жыл бұрын
I have social anxiety. It's because I have a birthmark on my face and I get bullied because of it and it's a big deal for me because it becomes my biggest insecurities. I don't want to be in place that has a lot of people, I can't enjoy when I'm in public because I'm busy thinking what people might think about me. I'm scared of being judged.
@kittenpw
2 жыл бұрын
I’ve had anxiety (particularly social) since I can remember. There were many signs when I was little, I found it so hard to make friends always worried about people not liking me
@neuroticisim9173
3 ай бұрын
Social anxiety ruined my life. I couldn't finish college because communication is required, and some other classes require you to do public presentations. Back in 2017, I tried giving a speech for a project, and I had a horrible panic attack where I couldn't speak. It was really embarrassing. Since then, I have been forced to work jobs that don't require much communication, like warehouse jobs and construction jobs, but it really isn't what I want to do, unfortunately. I don't date because I am very insecure about my body. I don't want to get made fun of and get put online. I don't want a girl making fun of my manhood because it's not big enough. Life is hard with social anxiety.
@ayushiyadav1
2 ай бұрын
Go for it; you don't have forever. Trust me, the right people will support you through this situation instead of mocking or rebuking you.
@iloveLanaDelRey2007
Жыл бұрын
I didn’t go to my prom yesterday bc of social anxiety, it rlly does ruin the things you want to do, it’s so frustrating
@loveself6396
Жыл бұрын
What?! That’s crazy.
@vuyomajola4383
2 жыл бұрын
I Literally said sorry to a chair😭 because of this. So I was standing faced forward and away from a chair behind me. When a guy suddenly called for me I panicked, turned around and bumped into that chair and it flew into oblivion. I then said sorry to the damn chair. The dude who witnessed all this showed no interest in it but I Had to think about that moment for months😓.
@Rekthief
2 жыл бұрын
treatment may not even be a good idea bc sometimes it's better to just let the social phobic fight through it alone. i painstakingly rewired my brain throughout my childhood and adulthood JUST to deal with the social anxiety disorder. I changed the way I moved, my posture, clothing... I even imitated personalities from movie characters. I applied my creativity to telling jokes that would get anybody to laugh. I learned how to make funny faces to kids in public and get a smile out of them and subsequently their parents. Slowly, gradually I allowed mysefl to become a different character in the world but still with all my introspective traits. If i'd gone to therapy or taken meds or soemthing I'd probably have transformed into a normal extrovert dressing like a hipster and relentlessly social-climbing some specific clique of college buddies or something. it's a bit spiteful and counterintuitive but i mostly defeated social anxiety by allowing myself to sometimes be bitter and judgmentive of extroverts. now If i have an anxiety attack out of nowhere or from an unexpected source, I just stop, take a deep breath and ride it out while cursing inwardly at it. i'm not encouraging being angry and spiteful at everyone and everything all the time but, if mother nature gave us the anger emotion then there must be a reason for it.
@Thatgirlrevised
20 күн бұрын
It's tough starting conversations with new folks. I shy away from neighbors. At work, gatherings are challenging, I struggle to speak, feeling awful after. I have a doormat that says: Sh sh...A hermits lives here. In hopes people leave me alone. 😔
@akashverma5756
5 күн бұрын
Being suffering from social anxiety, I feel like every stranger is trying to shame and judge me.
@livingwithanxiety2288
2 жыл бұрын
I hope everyone who had anxiety can manage it.
@amithasundaresan4358
Жыл бұрын
It's so worse nowadays. It's even hard to walk ( sometimes I forget how to stand and walk)
@phyleciaalexander5455
2 жыл бұрын
Bro ik that No one is going to read this but, social anxiety has torn my life apart. I dropped out of school, can't even get a job cause of how shy I am. I wish it would just all end, but i want to beat this thing i can't let this ruin me. I don't want to die without making something of myself I can't keep living like this, and soon my family is gonna give up cause they tell me everyday to get a job or my GED its like I'm trapped in my room. Now all I do is smoke weed and play the game, im even shy to be in a big party on the game with people that I can't even see. My life is just sad I really need help before its to late. I'm 19 btw I try to talk to new people on the game to make it better but I thinks its just making me more stubborn, I need help please.
@adamburwell4081
2 жыл бұрын
I also have social anxiety and the voices in my head are so loud in social situations that I can't think clearly. It's debilitating at times. My solution is Christ Jesus. Give your heart to him and develop a personal relationship with Him because he created you and wants you to overcome. Now it won't happen all at once but when we trust in Him and let His strength move in us we will be more than conquerors. The struggle is real but Christ died for us so we didn't have to. Amen
@Lukzzzzs
2 жыл бұрын
Anyone else think about going up to a person and saying something and you end up not doing it because your scared of being made fun of
@Lukzzzzs
2 жыл бұрын
Even a friend
@PraveenSrJ01
2 жыл бұрын
Definitely here
@ammachar
2 жыл бұрын
Totally that's the case for most people with social anxiety
@futuremindvintageheart9887
Ай бұрын
The craziest thing is I used to be super quiet and introverted. So I worked on myself using self help books and I became super outgoing.Once I became extroverted I couldn't find anyone to talk to! Everyone I tried to start a conversation with acted very shy and I realized how hard it is to socialize because most young ppl nowdays are shy. I can talk to older ppl but not millenials or gen z. My advice is learn how to talk to ppl there are little tricks like wait until you hear soneone mention what you know about and then interject. Like if they mention a band you recently saw in concert you can say "I just saw them the other day the show was amazing! Whats your favorite song"? Most ppl are shy because they dont know what to say learn what to say like a script and it becomes easier then once the convo starts you can be yourself.
@abdullah-yb9gp
Ай бұрын
Hi friend,, can you tell me what the books which you read it ?
@futuremindvintageheart9887
Ай бұрын
@@abdullah-yb9gp how to talk to anyone by Patrick king how to make small talk by Melissa Wadsworth
@abdullah-yb9gp
Ай бұрын
@@futuremindvintageheart9887 thanks bro 🙏
@radhikarb7047
2 жыл бұрын
this is actually the hardest thing to bear. Social anxiety ruins our professional and personal life as well . I feel glad looking at the comment section where there are a lot more people like me.. in real life it feels like its just me who is this weird and afraid of social gatherings. i was someone who didnt like going on school college tours either because i hated having to " enjoy" with my classmates. super weird it is as thats something every other student enjoys. i am 23 now and looking for a job and i find it very hard to find jobs which suit my " no communication no interaction jobs " simply because there aren't any. And i am not super creative or talented to write novels or do other " alone" jobs either. I look at other people my age not having the marks i have but having a great personality and i feel like why didnt god make me like them ? why did i have to end up like this uninteresting person !! nobody near me understands this part of me,. and i am glad to write this here. I hope i can come in the future to edit this comment and write that- i have finally got a job and able to work satisfactorily every day without being depressed about it.
@Drummer8nimation
2 жыл бұрын
I feel you
@MilkTeaASMR
2 жыл бұрын
As I continue to study psychology, Social Anxiety seems to keep popping up and as you said it seems to be increasing. I know the main recommended treatments are CBT and occasionally medication, but i’m also interested in virtual reality integrations. I think the future is promising. hang in there everyone!
@dx5741
2 жыл бұрын
I'm an introvert and socially anxious so that makes it harder for me to treat it because then i don't have to try and i always refer to the alternative which is isolation, therefore, it's more satisfying for me than being social. Then, i get back to being lonely. I kinda have "friends" but they're like more acquaintance, but the issue is that i always avoid because i want them to have less expectations of me and then they can't judge me but of course that doesn't work at all and i know it but i can't do anything about it.
@baal164
2 жыл бұрын
My goal in school was literally too be unnoticed 💀 I can’t word it any different it so accurate
@pattiyocius4158
2 жыл бұрын
Amazing presentation. Extremely informative and very engaging! Can’t wait to see more TED talks from you.
@MrDaigoRiki
Жыл бұрын
Especially living in Tokyo, Japan, people look at you, which is our bad habit so that they just make themselves feel alright and I hate it from the guts. There’s a lot of people with social anxiety in here. People constantly judge you without knowing you.
@Mee17175
2 жыл бұрын
Because of my social anxiety I feel like I am not interesting or humours and my opinion never matters to others and if I be myself people are going to judge me in a negative way ,due to which I always remain silent even though I want to share my thoughts and interact with people
@kierlak
10 ай бұрын
Interesting presentation. Well delivered. However it would be great if it included the following points: - childhood trauma (attachment styles) - introversion
@MlueBonday
2 жыл бұрын
It's a really good speach, about an important subject. I love how calmly she is performing, just this fact makes me feel more comfortable in front of the screen:D Well done!
@Rose_On_Rift
2 жыл бұрын
14:25 - best advice I have ever come across, truly. I wish that everyone who hurts because of social anxiety could hear that.
@وَلَمْأَكُنبِدُعَائِكَرَبِّشَ
2 жыл бұрын
ممكن تقول ذالك بلعربيه؟
@redpoppymemoirs
2 күн бұрын
I do well performing and coordinating for my tasks at work, but I struggle when it’s a social gathering at work, or just a normal social interaction, though there are a handful of colleagues I am comfortable with. It sucks that my social anxiety gives me anxiety that people at work would think I’m incompetent just because I’m not good in casual social interactions.
@steevie4700
2 жыл бұрын
Keep repeating to urself that u don’t care about what gonn happen or what em peoples think cuz u are ready no matter what and act like it. In the beginning u r gonn feel like it’s not you and ur still gonna feel anxious if not more that usual but if u stick it’s gon be part of u and every new day will be easier .
@katiew7939
2 жыл бұрын
hey fellow peeps,does anyone feel that your life has gone to waste since social anxiety? I’m young but have always been shy, then it grew into social anxiety. I’ve been told, “you’ll grow out of it.” Yet I feel I’ve grown more *into* it. I think I’m a good friend and overall person, but no one knows that. I went to the same school since kindergarten and I moved recently and my friend overheard people talking about me. “Who’s that?” OHHH she moved?” And I’m fine with having a small group of friends and I actually value being alone but the anxiety is draining. I try to say I don’t care what people think of me but really I do. I’m the one to over think every interaction I’ve ever had with someone and say to myself, “why’d I say that? They think I’m weird.” As previously said, I moved schools and it’s not working. Ive been doing research on online schools and showed my mom but she’s one of those people, “you *need socialization.*” which I think is an accurate statement, but it’s not like I’m getting that socializing at school. I’ve been off for a bit since I haven’t felt well, and I thought I can return to school next week but I’m going back tomorrow. I get stomach aches when I even think of school. It’s so draining.
@Cherie6361
2 жыл бұрын
So sorry to hear this. You sound like a very bright young person. Does your school offer free counselling? To help you navigate through this and develop strategies.
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