Standards, ultimatums, call them what you want. They are more important than being in a relationship.
@Priscilla_Boye
11 ай бұрын
True because whenever a woman says she has standards it rubs some men up the wrong way.
@sarahrobertson634
11 ай бұрын
@@Priscilla_Boye Ain't that the truth!!! They don't like our standards because they know they can't meet them.
@Priscilla_Boye
11 ай бұрын
💯
@GoJojo-lv6zi
11 ай бұрын
He doesn’t even know what he’s talking about. Standards are not for a man who doesn’t meet them to live up to. Standards are a compass to find a man that already does. That man was talking in circles because he can’t accept that most men won’t meet basic standards of hygiene, emotional intelligence, respect for women, emotional regulation, money, generosity, humility, etc. Standards are not a mold used to shape men, they are a filter to weed unworthy men out.
@sarahrobertson634
11 ай бұрын
@@GoJojo-lv6zi Preach, sister!!!
@sunshinepatricia2441
10 ай бұрын
Men need to understand they are not a prize, they're a health hazard.
@gravityclarity
10 ай бұрын
👏🏽
@Emptytopfloor
10 ай бұрын
And biohazard too.
@TheBurrito171
10 ай бұрын
@@Emptytopfloor Srsly your PH balance is more precious than 99% of men
@tribecalledmaya
9 ай бұрын
LMAO
@xkanyewestfanx2009
8 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@Mel-vb5pj
10 ай бұрын
The only people who are upset about you having standards and boundaries, are those who benefitted from you having none.
@gravityclarity
10 ай бұрын
👏🏽
@jezebelle57
10 ай бұрын
Preach!
@grazielaalmeida8438
10 ай бұрын
There's a chanel called shallon lester that talk about this.
@silververnallbells191
4 ай бұрын
@@grazielaalmeida8438 Shallon swings from talking a lot of sense to being a hot mess.
@TheKaypey1
2 ай бұрын
Heeeeeeyyyyyy ❤
@tamh8890
11 ай бұрын
It’s ok to be single…..
@ongoingsky9347
10 ай бұрын
“Give him a chance to grow to!” You mean the lying, cheating, married man?? 😂😂😂
@Siss2012
11 ай бұрын
Yes! 9 times out of 10 keeping a man is nothing but a willingness on the woman’s part to endure decades of humiliation, loss of self, emotional, mental and physical exhaustion, providing of daily unpaid labour, acceptance of gaslighting and abuse. My mother is a text book case, and so are all my aunts. Enough is enough, the endless chain of degradation and centering of toxic masculinity stops with me.
@Becky_Cal
11 ай бұрын
These are #facts ! Many of the women in our families are perfect examples.
@shanicrystal8671
10 ай бұрын
This 💯
@thedustysocietycrimes
10 ай бұрын
Correct. Same.
@royalp5262
10 ай бұрын
🙌🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾that right, whatever toxic cycles of chain I grown up will end up with me 🥱😤😤😤
@sunleiman2423
10 ай бұрын
Amen hallelujah
@cocoace7587
11 ай бұрын
The BM talking about ultimatums , plz move on . Standards are standards. If they don't meet our standards, we will move on . Use whatever words you want to try to change our minds . 😅
@LoveK1
11 ай бұрын
@user-pl6to8pf3rit’s, “You HAVE no standards.” Jesus, you men are so illiterate. I bet you don’t even know what illiterate means because you barely read and write at a third grade level.
@KilonovaBurst
11 ай бұрын
Exactly they hate standards because for so long they got to hide behind rascim as an excuse for their sub par accolades. BWs "high standards" are often every other group of women's bare minimums
@Just_a_Goth
10 ай бұрын
@user-pl6to8pf3rYou have nothing of value about yourself. Nothing but cantankerous, negative energy. Bleh. 🤢
@splite6573
8 ай бұрын
exactly!
@Dangerous_Peace
10 ай бұрын
Married people are fighting to convince us it's worth it. Still not convinced.
@MovingAlong531
10 ай бұрын
Swear that’s all of these women have, they need us to envy them. It’s getting annoying.
@grazielaalmeida8438
10 ай бұрын
In special christian women, I believe in God, but I have a hard time listen to christ married women, they put up with anything.
@sammich-lp2qm
10 ай бұрын
The women I've talked to about their really long marriages 🙄girl. The first thing out of those women mouths' is IT WASN'T EASY! The men look at them all adoringly like he's proud of everything she put up with. Ewww. I be like,😒okay he ain't shT soon as every wife says it. LMFAO
@nikkilong7377
7 ай бұрын
I was married. Now widowed. It's not worth it!
@MegaMarVerde
2 ай бұрын
@@nikkilong7377wow! I believe you but can you tell us why it is not worth it? Thank you
@sjlewis271
11 ай бұрын
She didn't lie. Everytime I deal with a man, I have to move a very well kept boundary/standard to deal with him. From multiple children with multiple women, too young or young minded, financially unstable, uneducated and/or ignorant, misogynistic, poor communication skills, poor hygiene...IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING!
@ninagrace-lee8323
10 ай бұрын
Very true.
@ebonylo.
10 ай бұрын
A headache
@gravityclarity
10 ай бұрын
🤢 Why are they so garbage?
@chayo4537
10 ай бұрын
That's gross. Yall be sleeping with dudes who have bad hygiene. And some are yall are so gross you don't mind it cause you probably have a fetish for funky balls and smelly feet 🤮 too many women have talked about men's bad hygiene when they get upset. So that means you're actually tolerating that 🤢
@pfair774
10 ай бұрын
💯
@GoJojo-lv6zi
11 ай бұрын
The man at 6:00 is talking in circles because he can’t accept reality. Its not that “If you’re gonna be with me you must follow my standards.” No no no. It’s *“You aren’t going to be with me unless you already meet my standards.”*
@gravityclarity
10 ай бұрын
Exactly!
@Down2EarthNik84
10 ай бұрын
Exactly! Just because a crackhead is in love with me doesn’t mean I need to make it work with him because he loves me. He clearly doesn’t understand the difference in standards and ultimatums.
@gravityclarity
10 ай бұрын
@@Down2EarthNik84 crackhead! Lmao🤣
@grazielaalmeida8438
10 ай бұрын
That part the got me was the sea food, so if someone is allergic to that, one's have to compromise that to please the partner?
@queennefertiti35
10 ай бұрын
The second lady is delulu. I learned in 30 years of marriage. Ladies do not fall for the bs. Have standards don't accept any and everything a man does. When he sees that he can keep making the same old mistakes and you keep forgiving that behavior, you are just a laughing stock to him and his family and friends.
@ebonylo.
10 ай бұрын
Shheesshh
@maryannspicher
3 ай бұрын
Yep. Only one person doing the growing and accepting won’t make it work. It takes two and the men have no interest in growing up!
@LoveK1
11 ай бұрын
There are not a lot of people in happy relationships. The divorce rate literally proves that.
@Lena-cz6re
10 ай бұрын
It's real funny how "standards" suddenly stop being just "ultimatums" once you have a daughter 🤔🤣
@aliciahughley7508
7 ай бұрын
Bingo
@kryskross9199
11 ай бұрын
5:08 The dude WOULD be right….. if that was what she was even talking about. Lmao. Which it wasn’t. She didn’t say ANYTHING about a man HAVING to “follow” her “standards”. She was simply talking about HAVING high standards. She didn’t even mention what high standards she was talking about and he totally jumped the gun and just ASSUMED that they would be something totally ridiculous requests! 😂😂😂😂 for example: MY high standards are a man HAS to treat me like a human being, he can’t be misogynistic or sexist, and he can’t view women as objects! That’s not even a high standard, that’s basic human respect. BUT it also eliminates about 70% of men from the dating pool for me lmao. So that’s why I consider them high standards, because not a lot of men ACTUALLY view women as equal human beings. They always view themselves as superior. But aaaanywhoooo, the guy that was talking was totally assuming shit and jumping the gun on the subject. He just made himself look like he thinks women can’t have high standards is all.
@anonnnymousthegreat
11 ай бұрын
Men like that man will never get it. It’s like the redpillers pushing out the narrative about degenerate children come from single mother households. But refuse to see that lack of the father in the home will cause the degeneracy because the child is trying to navigate through life with a piece of them missing that should’ve been there from the beginning.
@west913
11 ай бұрын
He clearly ran into a woman with standards and he couldn’t meet them. So, they turned into “ultimatums.”
@gravityclarity
10 ай бұрын
He was a dumbass! Guys like that don't even meet the most basic standards for mutual respect. Annoying AF.
@godpilled9077
10 ай бұрын
I don't want to work in my relationship, I already have a job, I don't need a second shift.
@lovinglife-tq4pv
5 ай бұрын
This is brilliant!
@EmpressRieniaTV
11 ай бұрын
I’m Single no kids and I’m at peace honey. All of the women I know who are married are miserable, stressed, and secretly resentful of their lives. Ladies just wait on God to send you a Kingdom Spouse, don’t settle.
@overcomerbtboj
10 ай бұрын
💯💯
@heneverforesakesme4038
10 ай бұрын
what is a kingdom spouse...I hear that alot??? is that like, after you die you get your husband?
@EmpressRieniaTV
10 ай бұрын
@@heneverforesakesme4038 it’s basically your soulmate.
@justdafax
7 ай бұрын
u women claim you're single but you're always sleeping around...always lol
@EmpressRieniaTV
7 ай бұрын
@@justdafax seek therapy and go heal
@kwetsephetla3597
10 ай бұрын
People always make fun of me for being single and having high standards. But the one time that I decided to drop my standards, I ended up in an abusive relationship. I ended up leaving but the scars will last a lifetime. I’ll never listen to people again. I’ll just stay single.
@gravityclarity
10 ай бұрын
Being single is a flex. Being selective and not allowing every Tom, Dick, and Harry to disturb your peace is an act of self love and self respect! People don't seem to understand just how *easy* it is to get just any old man. Getting a *good* man is not easy.
@kwetsephetla3597
10 ай бұрын
@@gravityclarity it’s not easy at all finding a good man but it definitely beats dating a loser
@123weedie
10 ай бұрын
Girl been there. It’s rough and so disheartening.
@kwetsephetla3597
10 ай бұрын
It definitely sucks but we move ❤@@123weedie
@sammich-lp2qm
10 ай бұрын
I'm so sorry honey. Please don't let this take a lifetime to heal from, it's just meant to learn from. But keep your standards and be patient. Open your market of men up. Women are already brave for wanting to keep trying after abusive relationships.
@Tina_Bo_Binaaa
10 ай бұрын
If it’s one thing having standards teaches men, that you will NOT be taken for a FOOL.
@bunnybeetle1304
11 ай бұрын
This has been my experience too. The moment I realized my boundaries and began to stay true to what I want, I started to reject people left and right.
@AcidicSprayer
11 ай бұрын
So you go from 24/7 to being permanently closed.
@Liz-wz8dh
11 ай бұрын
So true. You have to. I used to be one of those "I love everybody types" but as I got older I realized that you simply can't. You simply cannot keep peace in your life and allow just anyone around you. The sad truth is that few people are not going to build you up, improve your life and sometimes they will bring you down just with their presence. It's good to reject people. I always find that the ones I have to reject are exactly the ones that NEED to be rejected, usually due to some sort of personality problem that is going to stress me out.
@cocoace7587
11 ай бұрын
The lady with the " half truths, " we are tired of struggling, building & holding grown people up . Why can't BW just live , not asking for the sun or the moon , just to live 😢.
@Meadow23
11 ай бұрын
Yeah exactly, it just sounded to me like she put up with bs when it comes to her husband, cause why you bringing up teachers, parents and grandmas to try and justify your point?
@KilonovaBurst
11 ай бұрын
She a fence sitter
@traceylennon1204
11 ай бұрын
@cocoace7587 THANK YOU
@traceylennon1204
11 ай бұрын
@@Meadow23 BAM 🎯🎯🎯
@traceylennon1204
11 ай бұрын
It shouldn't BE WORK!!
@anonnnymousthegreat
11 ай бұрын
And men will be in their feelings not understanding what she’s saying. The men that get triggered are always the ones that will never get it and take everything personally. Just like the man in the golfer hat ranting in his response. Comprehension is kryptonite to these type of men.
@shayemoore
11 ай бұрын
Men understand very well. They just want to be able to do whatever they want and still get king treatment while giving bs in return. They're demons.
@Liz-wz8dh
11 ай бұрын
The ones that get upset are usually the ones who know they're never going to meet your standards and they resent that you even have them. This is probably why so many men secretly like "easy" women even though they claim they don't.
@overcomerbtboj
10 ай бұрын
@@Liz-wz8dhits exactly why they hook up with and marry those “ easy women” - a lot of men talk out of both sides of their mouths saying they don’t want a 304 but they won’t turn down the 304s either
@janaeclarke136
10 ай бұрын
Marriage is just fucking tolerance
@olmcmonnie7445
11 ай бұрын
Standards I taught my daughter to have: 1) he must realize that you are not stupid and don't need to be talked down to. God gave you that brain. 2) you are not the main squeeze, you're the only squeeze. 3) you are a HELPMATE, not a slave. 4) you are not a punching bag nor a baby factory, have only as many kids as you want or no kids at all. But if you're gonna have kids, make sure he KNOWS that it takes 2 to make babies, it's gonna take 2 raise babies. 4) There are things you'll be better at than him and better than you. Raise each other up, don't dumb yourself down because he has a frail ego. 5) don't accept just because he put a rong on it that the entire relationship changes. The things he did to catch you, he needs to keep doing to keep you.6) just don't even get involved with a man who doesn't have equal or better income. He's not looking for a mate, he's looking for a meal ticket.
@gravityclarity
10 ай бұрын
Perfect!👏🏽💯
@kynathomas4809
10 ай бұрын
Amen. ❤
@gracefulsisterjoy7676
10 ай бұрын
Do you taught her accountability
@Catherine_Dana
10 ай бұрын
@@gracefulsisterjoy7676 *never take accountability 4 his misdeeds but ur own actions*
@Catherine_Dana
10 ай бұрын
*she's definitely lucky with such a wiser empathic smart fierce mom ever*
@evergreenforestwitch
11 ай бұрын
The people arguing against her seem to be completely ignoring the misogyny in our culture. It's MEN who refuse to do the work that the woman who talked about half truths discussed. Women do that work all the time, but if only one partner is willing - which has been statistically and scientifically proven to be the case - that is not partnership and that is the option most women literally have. Standards and ultimatum are not the same thing. Standards are basic qualities and behaviors that are required for access to you - things like being respectful, having shared values and morals, being able and willing to take care of his own body, career and adult responsibilities etc. That's not an ultimatum. If a dude does not or will not do that, it isn't her being petty and arbitrarily being dismissive, it's her making a decision for her own best interest over being partnered with a man. And relationships ARE conditional. Mother/baby relationships could be an exception, but romantic relationships are inherently conditional and they should be. They are a choice, not an obligation and if men consistently choose to not meet the standards of women- which again all data supports this as statistically probable- expecting her to just put up with bs is all she is left with. The burden always falls to the woman because MEN won't do the effing work. She didn't say you couldn't be in a relationship if you had standards. She said you couldn't be with a man. They have demonstrated through actions over millenia that this is true. They could change it, but they prefer it if women just put up with bs instead.
@shayemoore
11 ай бұрын
Right.That's why women shouldn't put up with a man who won't do the work.
@evergreenforestwitch
11 ай бұрын
@@shayemoore 💯
@adriennedouke1880
11 ай бұрын
The problem is that it starts with putting up with bs, to putting up with physical and emotional abuse etc. It starts with bs and devolves from there. The bs is their way to test your boundaries of how much you are willing to put up with to have him. As a woman who put up with a lot of bs, then physical and emotional abuse for over 30 years, NO THANK YOU. I'll keep my own place, and my own security, and my financial independence over having a man any day. I am so done.
@evergreenforestwitch
11 ай бұрын
@adriennedouke1880 so much this! If you start sacrificing standards, it ends with sacrificing yourself. So happy to hear you have found peace for yourself now.
@sjlewis271
11 ай бұрын
YOU ATE THAT UP!❤
@hyunbinsdimple5803
10 ай бұрын
The quality of men has deteriorated over the years. Let me tell you, since stepping into a life of singleness my skin has become so healthy, my mental health has improved and I have peace.
@KilonovaBurst
11 ай бұрын
Standards, ultimatums, rules and procedures, operating policy, guidelines, boundaries,etc. Call it whatever u want homeboy but if you voilate them ur gone. Friend,family, lover no one gets a pass.
@Autumn-zd9nq
10 ай бұрын
Yep and I’m not willing to sacrifice my standards anymore. My standards were put in place to protect me because, from experience, I’ve learned that men won’t.
@gravityclarity
10 ай бұрын
EXACTLY!👏🏽
@gravityclarity
10 ай бұрын
Keep your standards high. It's rare to meet a man who will meet them, but it's much better than being with a man who doesn't meet your standards.
@daniela_k
11 ай бұрын
Compromise means mutual concessions, settlement, middle ground. It does not mean giving up all your values, desires and rights just to be in a relationship with someone and for peace at any cost. You have to be careful about which words you use in different situations because words are powerful things. Compromise is a very strong word.
@desiprioleau
10 ай бұрын
So by that guy’s logic we should all just marry the first person we stumble upon?
@crazymusicgrlcheesecake
10 ай бұрын
The lady with the loose curly hair said that we should give them the opportunity to grow. But i have literally been with a man who told me he will never change because he likes himself. Dude was a cheater, liar, put me down all of the time when I told him to be honest. That dude literally had 0 room for growth, he was done.
@shanicejones8332
8 ай бұрын
You just had a different experience...
@pipkin5287
4 ай бұрын
That sounds like a terrible experience! But thankfully - if you're still into getting married to a man - there are people out there who are decent human beings. I think that the lady in the second vid talking about giving each other opportunities to grow is right! You can't know anything and everything about your spouse to begin with. It's a process that takes years to improve on, and yes, in a healthy marriage it's work that needs doing for *both* parties. On the other end, if you're with someone who tells you that they will never change, I feel like that's much more of a boundary issue? Like, if my husband acted like that, telling me he thinks he's the perfect specimen who doesn't need to do anything? That would be a massive boundary violation for me. That's basically telling someone that you can't ever criticise what they do, wth. Tl:dr: If you're in a relationship, you need to learn to communicate, and that takes a ton of time. And yeah, if you have a partner who doesn't want to do that work with you? I'd dip too.
@talkingtochapri
11 ай бұрын
😂 "Relationship requires compromise" says the guy who looks like he has created atleast 3 fatherless homes so far. If we start treating men how poorly they treat women by cheating, lying, bringing disease, expecting them to be free housecleaner and chef, free child caretaker 24/7, making men do all the compromise, etc then there will be no such thing as heterosexual relationships 🤭 They will never put up with all the bs women put up with. I have never seen a male taking his cheater wife back but you see low standard women doing all the time. And thats when you know, most relationship in the past only worked because not all but most women didnt had standards, self-respect and financial independence. So, they didn't have the options we have today.
@KilonovaBurst
11 ай бұрын
Having basic standards took them out the home
@gravityclarity
10 ай бұрын
Exactly!👏🏽💯
@karmAnonymous
10 ай бұрын
YOOOOOOOO I accidentally spit on my phone screen because I busted out laughing 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Because of the "created at least 3 fatherless homes..."
@karenmassey8354
11 ай бұрын
5:48 please🙄 men have nothing but ultimatums and enforce them without question.
@user-ly3li3ex8c
5 ай бұрын
Especially when those ultimatums are over her appearance without ever asking himself if he's contributing to her stress
@peachesandpoets
11 ай бұрын
People keep talking shit about JLO and all I can see is a woman who says I love you until you're not behaving properly, and then I love me more. The fuck? 😂
@sarahrobertson634
11 ай бұрын
There's nothing wrong with loving yourself more. Ben Affleck is a doosh. His first wife could have told J Lo to stay away from him. Women need to listen to each other.
@HighFrequencyGuru
11 ай бұрын
Right
@PapiyoneVineland
11 ай бұрын
Lol, this man in the blue cap has no idea what it's like to be a woman in a relationship with a man or what we're talking about.
@gravityclarity
10 ай бұрын
Guy at 6:40 is annoying. Standards are not opinions about food. A standard might be: you have to respect my time or you have to match my energy. That's not an ultimatum. Why do you have to compromise on basic standards in order to have a relationship? If you find yourself having to make exceptions, give up your expectations, and settle, then that should be a *huge* indicator that you are not with the right person! You should have rules like a partner must treat you with basic respect, must be capable of communicating, etc. And if that isn't there, no, you do not have to just accept that. Guy annoyed me 🙄
@TheMentalLevelUpPodcast
11 ай бұрын
It does seem like not only are standards often comprised dating them, but mental health is sacrificed as well. So many women are broken, and so many men see it as a flex to hurt women, impressing their male friends with their ill will toward her.
@biblethumper8088
7 ай бұрын
I choose standards. You can stand with STANDards, but fall with a man. Choose standing ladies. The fall is endless.
@OE2023
11 ай бұрын
I didn't understand his seafood analogy 😅🤣
@Priscilla_Boye
11 ай бұрын
😂
@gravityclarity
10 ай бұрын
That's because it made no sense. That guy was annoying.
@maam-yj8ph
10 ай бұрын
Right? Maybe if he had explained that you may not enjoy the taste or smell of seafood but you fall in love with someone who loves it, you learn to tolerate it. But what if you are allergic to seafood as in anaphylactic shock? If the partner "loves" you, but can't give up seafood, you may not be able to live with and share bodily fluids with this person on a daily basis unless their hygiene is impeccable.
@xiamariansupreme72
10 ай бұрын
Chile, I'll have standards over a man anyday. Having a man is literally more of a headache than anything else nowadays.
@jenbodhi1133
10 ай бұрын
They cause literally nothing but unnecessary stress and drama, it’s actually bizarre
@xiamariansupreme72
10 ай бұрын
@@jenbodhi1133 Exactly, and just make our labor load never ending.
@juliebella1221
10 ай бұрын
Bitter means to be unfairly treated. So men calling women bitter is telling. The men are literally saying she's unfairly treated at not fault of her own. Lolol! Men think they're throwing insults, really it's just true. Women have been unfairly treated at no fault of their own aka bitter.
@karina-annen
11 ай бұрын
I have a fiancé, and if my fiancé wasn't a feminist ( if men can even be considered feminists) and wasn't such a great man we wouldn't be together. If he ever cheats on me he knows he will lose me. Just as he knows he's not getting a maid and a cook when we get married. I didn't date at all until I was in college because I didn't meat any man that met my standards. The first woman in the video just didn't meet any good quality man yet, and I'll admit, it's hard! I can't believe how lucky I was to find a good man, bacause things seem awful in the dating scene right now. Oof. I would probably still be a virgin had I not met my fiancé, and I would be happy! I was happy before I met my fiancé and I'm sure that, while I am sure it would hurt, I know I would be fine if we broke up too. Better to be alone than in bad company!
@shayemoore
11 ай бұрын
You're a woman who knows her worth. Good for you and congratulations!🎊
@karina-annen
11 ай бұрын
@@shayemoore Thank you!
@evilstereofairy
10 ай бұрын
I’m trying to build my bank account as we speak so I can. Live in my apartment ALONE, after I kick the manipulative leech out. Some guys will hide an entirely seperate secret sex life behind your back bc some of them are bi or actually gay and use you for normalcy while you sit at home alone wondering what it is about you he doesn’t like enough to stay loyal.
@lovinglife-tq4pv
5 ай бұрын
I was married to one! YES! And it is heartbreaking and damaging beyond belief.
@annnee6818
10 ай бұрын
Calling standards like "respect me, don't cheat on me, pull your weight in the house" ultimatums and likening it to seafood is so... I dunno.
@LovelyKola
10 ай бұрын
That’s what I been saying women constantly putting up with bullshit in their marriages and relationships. That’s why I also said married women are built differently. I’m not built to deal with the bull a grown man should already know how to treat a women I’m not here to raise and teach a grown person. Y’all keep forgiving a person who constantly mistreat you that’s on you.
@jenbodhi1133
10 ай бұрын
I can’t do it either, and I’ve actually tried, it’s just not within me to continue on with them for too long, my anger and disgust overwhelms me and I have to go
@jenbodhi1133
10 ай бұрын
I love how the ultimatum guy was heavy mansplaining and he was making no sense at all lol
@MarkieMcG.
10 ай бұрын
There is NOTHING that these boys won't do to you.
@artbygilik
5 ай бұрын
My married friends told me that my standards are too high. I just put up with enough bs before to not want to overlook red flags or breadcrumbs anymore.
@iheartwaffles91
10 ай бұрын
I have a dear friend who is very kind and has changed his life for the better. He used to be an alcoholic and dead beat. He has been sober for 5 years now, working a full time steady job with benefits, and we generally speaking are good friends. We can laugh together, have great conversations, and he likes my parents and I like his.... however... He smokes and has HORRIBLE hygiene. I think it's some of the depression that keeps him from showering regularly but I just cannot bring myself to kiss him with his tobacco ridden teeth. The other night we went out and his hair was so greasy, breath smelled of stale smoke and clothes wrecked of stale smoke. We were going to drive his car but it was so trashy we had to drive mine! I'm talking cans falling out the car as we opened the door. So I'm supposed to look past all this for love? Would any of you want to be physically romantic with someone who smokes?!?!? Come on people! 😄 If this "ultimatum" prevents me from getting a boyfriend/husband then so be it! At least I know I won't have yeast infections and UTIs!
@grazielaalmeida8438
10 ай бұрын
If you live a thousand of years ago, you would have to look past all this, but now everybody has access to hygiene.
@sarahmcdonald6980
10 ай бұрын
4:30 no one is talking about they don’t wanna grow.. it’s men constantly letting women down, over and over and over after so much forgiveness and effort on women’s part. I see this everywhere around me!! Often women DO the work. And our standards are literally for survival
@kjlockley1246
10 ай бұрын
It was never a flex. Most women were to brainwashed to see it.
@Liz-wz8dh
11 ай бұрын
I've never understood why just being able to say you have a man was a flex anyway. As the woman in the video stated, so many of them are not worth having. I've always thought that women who have to resort to saying that are probably displaying how deeply insecure they are about being alone. They're saying they know they have no worth without the guy hanging on them. I've had women imply that they were better than me because they "had a man." Most of the times I felt sorry for them because everyone knew or could figure out that the man was really not treating her well and there was usually some type of abuse in the relationship. Like, seriously, the same women who brag about how they had to "punch him back" one time when their guy tried to hurt them are the same ones who will later brag about just having a man. For real?
@amandasunshine2
4 ай бұрын
Lol that ultimatum man.. they always see relationships as transactional 🤣
@magnarcreed3801
11 ай бұрын
They don’t need to learn what I will and won’t tolerate. I tell them upfront. Dated men and women and it’s only been the men that be acting foolish.
@racqueldillon3560
9 ай бұрын
Many relationships involve only one person "doing the work" and "disappointment" should be an every once in a while occurrence and not the theme of your relationships. That includes with family too. A healthy relationship should not be full of contant strife and struggle and hard work. They have periods of difficulty for sure but again, it should not be the NATURE of the relationship. At this point its true, you're either going to have standards or you're going to have a man.
@C4TC4T
10 ай бұрын
One other thing that astounds me is how much kinder woman are and can be than men. Granted women are more emotional, but that also leads to a larger amount of kindness. I see so many men in so many videos degrading women for not dating, for being single moms, for not wanting to be moms. I don’t see a lot of women putting down men except for now, when they’ve finally had enough and have put up with the hostility that men put out for so long….
@silververnallbells191
4 ай бұрын
How are women more emotional when you have men out here if you tell them "No, I won't give you my number" they get so mad they k1ll the woman? Anger and wanting to feel in control or wanting to feel dominant are emotions. A lot of them also openly hate women (& children) on a daily basis.
@eshefromneptune
10 ай бұрын
I just want to know why that guy was talking about seafood. Me not liking seafood is not a standard 🥴🥴🥴
@selflove51
10 ай бұрын
That percentage of well rounded happy marriaged couples are slim to none, like 1-2%... The work is putting up with crap all over the place
@Sleepydiva504
9 ай бұрын
My standards and boundaries have protected me. The end. ❤
@maichai13
10 ай бұрын
The first lady lol. I said something similar back in the yahoo comment sections back in the day, 2010 or so, and women called me bitter and said i was raised by a single mom in the hood, and i was negative....fast forward 10 years and folks are finally catching on...
@prettywahala
7 ай бұрын
Standards, Boundaries, and Expectations..Thanks to Cyn G 💜 the ladies are listening apparently.
@BVEE-j3q
11 ай бұрын
The two that spoke on the fact that relationhsips take compromise and that standards are ultimatums, i can see what theyre saying but its with a limit and when its recriprocal. You cant keep forgiving someone at your detriment.
@R0291-l1l
11 ай бұрын
i agree with her for the most part. thank goodness I'm bisexual lol
@magnarcreed3801
11 ай бұрын
AYO same.
@AcidicSprayer
11 ай бұрын
Lesbian divorce rate is up 75% you just want to f your friends.
@shanicejones8332
8 ай бұрын
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
@kjones8747
10 ай бұрын
Fighting for yourself. If you don’t love yourself how can you say that you truly love another?
@TheKaypey1
2 ай бұрын
Compromise is compromise and that is a part of all relationships.However your standards are things you will or will not accept. People will try to trick you and call it conditions or ultimatums Because they want You to be unreasonable for not allowing certain things to happen to you. Keep your standards ladies forever!!!!!
@pfair774
10 ай бұрын
Love this video! Man this one dude manipulated me so bad, told me what was my purpose if I'm not having sex and not having kids. (I'm celibate). I was gonna cut him off but he was like "Portia, there's just gonna be things that I say that you don't like, and there are gonna be things you say that I don't like." Trying to manipulate me into thinking it was just a normal difference in opinion. No nigga u tried sh*tting on my worth. Never ok, learned from that. I wonder if that is the type of thing the older lady was talking about how we need to work with men to grow. No I'm too old for that. At this age (in my 30s), there's some things I shouldn't be having to teach you, like how to respect me. I get her point to a certain extent but we're too old for certain things.
@thinkinginn7443
10 ай бұрын
Something to add: If a man you’re dating KNOWS you lowered or compromised your standards to be with him, he loses respect for you. Time and time again I witnessed women give ‘a chance’ to a man that by societal standards or her own wasn’t making the cut and she regretted it every single time. It’s because he knows you settled, and in his mind if you don’t respect your own standards and worth, why should he? Despite how men claim that women have standards that are too high, I rarely hear a happily ever after story of a woman who settled for less and got more in a relationship with a man that didn’t measure up. If all these podcasters/RP men are saying women’s standards are keeping them from finding ‘good’ men and relationships, then their should be a definitive track record of women who settled and are in happy, fulfilling, long term relationships with their man. But there isn’t, because it doesn’t happen. When she settles for less, she gets less, and leaves the relationship with less whether she breaks up with him or vice versa. This also goes for women who stay in the face of disrespect or violation of your standards/boundaries. If he doesn’t experience consequences for his actions, he sees your willingness to stay with him as permission. He doesn’t see it as a chance to do ‘right’ by you, he sees it as an opportunity to do it again. And remember, the only men who have a problem with your standards are the ones who don’t, or more specifically, won’t meet them.
@rizen9457
3 ай бұрын
I had a date with a man. 2 days before the date I still had no time and place. I texted him and said please let me know what time and place we are meeting. If you have not decided yet, let’s cancel. He replied that there were two more days left until the date and because of that he had not thought much about it. He said he thinks that he is too laid back for me. I wished him well and blocked and deleted because he is the type to circle back. Something as simple as having the courtesy to let me know so I can plan my day out and just basically KNOW where and what time. TWO day before and you haven’t thought of it. Just for wanting the basics, we will be called “Wanting too much”.
@marianesreis
Ай бұрын
Sorry girls I desagree. I tried to see the right man in a bunch of men for years. The day I understood I could be happy by myself, and would only change that if I found the right man with my standards, I found him. I was 32. We just talked, no physical interaction for more than 1 year. Now Im 34 and we are living together for 1 year and it is way better than I dreamed. He is my standards and plus. So please leave the space OPEN for the right man come in. If you stay in a bad relationship just for not being alone, the right Person is not going to enter. Sorry for bad english, is not my first language. Be well ❤
@claudettemcleod7877
4 ай бұрын
For the gentleman that say standards are ultimatum, no they are not they are the way in which you want to live and have and what you will put up with and everyone should have a line in the sand of what and who they will have in their lives and what they will and will not put up with, what are you talking about
@mizkomunikation9478
10 ай бұрын
It’s not just a choice between standards v a male. Sometimes it’s about being willing to remain alone as long as it takes. Get a good sisterhood network if you’re lonely, try dating other women, or just enjoy single life to the fullest. Settling just to keep a male in your life will only bring chaos and disappointment. You do not “need” a man in your life. Not holding to your standards will only leave you distracted and caught up in some BS if you happen to meet the right person. You’ll wind up turning them away out of misplaced loyalty to a bum, and spend years regretting that decision. Standards protect your money, your mental health and your safety. The male you “settle” for will do NONE of that.
@itstatystoopid1538
Ай бұрын
I've always said you get two years at best. That means many will not even last six months. My reasoning? Two years is supposed to be the honeymoon stage of a relationship. So if you make me miserable so early on, I know it will only get worse.
@traceylennon1204
11 ай бұрын
This was so good I had to watch it again!! My favorite is the 2nd young lady!!😄👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 And the one eith the purple background was definitely preaching!!
@Priscilla_Boye
11 ай бұрын
Yay! Thank you! 🤗
@marie-ange3965
10 ай бұрын
The dude is really missing the point. She did not say anything about bringing anything to the table or following her standards. She was talking about the standards you have for how you want to be treated and what/who you allow in your life. Not anything about "following" anyone's anything.
@Mad_InSomnia
10 ай бұрын
I am at an age where I have come to love and be at peace all by myself. I would much rather be alone and at peace, than with someone and be without it. My boundaries and standards are a large part of how I maintain my peace. That leaves very little wiggle room. Arguments happen and people disagree because in a relationship you are dealing with two people with kinds of their own. But if someone refuses to respect a boundary or continues to hurt me knowing they are doing so, they will not be allowed to stay. I worked very hard to get my peace. I won’t be giving it up.
@jenbodhi1133
10 ай бұрын
Same, I think there’s going to be a lot of us just on our own
@nikkilong7377
7 ай бұрын
Sir, seafood! Really?! 😂😂😂😂😂
@R0291-l1l
11 ай бұрын
Jocelyn is on some good shit too, but that doesnt' surprise me, she's got a degree in this stuff
@joannabanks6694
10 ай бұрын
When I was younger a lot of women would hang on to keep their house. I decided to buy my own d*mn house.
@franciebelcher4594
4 ай бұрын
That Ultimatum guy is wrong. Having standards is EVERYWHERE. Your job, your landlord, your favorite restaurant, ALLLL have standards. Does he see those as "ultimatums". Nah man. In the military we call them "rules and regulations". It's for safety. A woman's standards, a man's standards should be in place. They keep you protected. What a jerk
@RukiaBlackBlazer
4 ай бұрын
Yes...! Sis. I'm loving the looks. Yes ..❤
@grazielaalmeida8438
10 ай бұрын
So I'm gonna be single forever, becouse it must be umbareble to decline my self respect and be a doormat.
@Sociedadematriarcal
11 ай бұрын
Yep every time I see a guy talking to me in real life I run away, and offline too I don’t let any one them even follow me, I’m so scared of them.
@thedustysocietycrimes
10 ай бұрын
5:51 He needs to tell all his brethren to put their big microphones away and stop telling women their standards/ultimatums bc most women DON'T CARE!
@FireSilver25
4 ай бұрын
LOL any woman can have a relationship if they put up with enough crap! It’s like saying “You can save money or have a car” and the car you bought is up on blocks with no engine and mice living in it. Like, that’s a money pit. You could’ve taken the bus and saved for reliable wheels. Many relationships are money/energy/time pits.
@gravityclarity
10 ай бұрын
10:00 unfortunately I have to agree with her. I do think there are some good men in the world, but I do not believe that the average man is a good person. They keep showing me that. I'm inclined to believe them.
@Yelkz367
11 ай бұрын
Another bomb look, Priscilla! Is that a wig? If so, drop the link. Girl, you need to get into affiliate links because I come here for the commentary as well as the looks you SERVE. Drop the links baby!
@Priscilla_Boye
11 ай бұрын
Ok babe I hear you I need to figure out how affiliate links work and yes it’s a wig from fancivivi.
@ELIZABETHTORRES-em3kx
10 ай бұрын
I’m here to receive affection,love, respect etc then I will reciprocate if not adios ! ❤
@mayday1932
4 ай бұрын
This male truly said standards are ultimatums? 😅😂😂 So no cheating is an ultimatum? Not disrespecting your spouse is an ultimatum? Not expecting your spouse to be your slave is an ultimatum? When we say standards we don’t mean minor disagreements. We mean , I will be treated as the loving and kind human being I am and nothing less. If that’s too much go to the women with no or low standards.
@MsTheeloisa
8 ай бұрын
The first people in the stitches (that ONE woman who got lucky and that STRAIGHT man who has probably never dated a MAN) are so oblivious.
@LisaSoulLevelHealing
4 ай бұрын
I had to skip past the dusty. Anyone still listening to them in April 2024.
@Spiritfba
5 ай бұрын
Women: I will leave if you use cam girls or OF. Men: That’s an ultimatum not a standard and you’re not being reasonable. Stop trying to change me. Waaaaaaaah 🥺🥺🥺
@hubabaloop
5 ай бұрын
The fuck you mean they don’t want to do the work? The amount of times I’ve put in work and it DIDNT WORK. THEN WHAT???
@Dangerous_Peace
10 ай бұрын
Im with her: she wasn't rude she just kept it moving. I would too. Say whatever yall want but i would be friends with him and hit him up when i need him and pay him. Not pressed to date a man I'm employing.
@sampsonlittle7368
10 ай бұрын
The guy with the cap, may sound like he knows Ultimatum verses standards. One thing he isn’t allowing this women’s statement to afford is learning thru experience. If you gotten the hard way a lesson that you learned, it definitely isn’t an ultimatum, it is a standard that you bought and payed for, by learning it with sweat and tears. And to allow someone to trick you into thinking that your using it on a person as an ultimatum, you have just had to again, learn that lesson all over again. It’s called the Pheonix rising thru the ashes and coming out with standards. Don’t fall for someone guilting you into calling it an ultimatum. Bunk!
@lizzybennett2590
4 ай бұрын
The legal system operates on codified laws. If you break these laws there are consequences. Having clearly stated standards is equivalent to having laws. If you break these standards then there need to be consequences. The failure to follow through with consequences is CHAOS. "Keeping" or compromising with such a "partner" would be the equivalent of everyone in society refusing to obey laws and society refusing to hold law breakers to account. I refuse to live in a country or a house where rules are not observed.
@andy_jayson
9 ай бұрын
Every time I lowered my standards a man showed me flames literal flames. Either rise up and meet me where I am. Or I'm dipping. Therapy is expensive we can't keep making the same mistakes and expecting diffent results.
@linahrae
Күн бұрын
5:25 am i supposed to want to kiss this mouth?? bruh. ill die alone its fine 🤣
@learningearning8385
10 ай бұрын
9:55 she is 💯. However how are you gonna be more angry at the woman staying than the woman is herself? If that lady doesn’t care about her own healthcare status who are you to be angry?
@Calcium-mn9eq
10 ай бұрын
The woman said "standard", the man arrogantly claimed she said "ultimatum". Clearly, this man doesn't know the difference between those two words. Go and educate yourself, man!
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