"My eyes are pies and yours are lies " probably the best one liner in the universe !!!
@markcollins3710
4 жыл бұрын
Yes I agree
@KEVWARD63
3 жыл бұрын
Yes , probably = with " We crawl on our knees towards our doom ....."
@worldaccordingtodunk
2 жыл бұрын
I reenact this in Greggs sometimes, they're not overly keen
@whatshisname3304
2 жыл бұрын
@@worldaccordingtodunk whats your trigger word? mines pasty and i do love pasties. oh no here I go again.
@CHEEEZ-UK
2 жыл бұрын
I say this all the time
@portcullis5622
2 жыл бұрын
"They put me in the cellar and feed me pins" was one of Johnny's best ever lines.
@NicoJW
Жыл бұрын
I'm trying to find that one....
@portcullis5622
Жыл бұрын
@@NicoJW Me too!
@MrPeterRossiter
8 жыл бұрын
Whenever I'm feeling down I watch this, "MY EYES ARE PIES!!!"
@oatydave3814
5 жыл бұрын
AND YOURS ARE LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@machomanOOOOHYEEEAH
4 жыл бұрын
What shall we do with Father?
@untrue7295
4 жыл бұрын
@@machomanOOOOHYEEEAH fold him up like a ticket and poke him in a hole??
@thorpevic
2 жыл бұрын
Brilliant! lol
@danw1374
2 жыл бұрын
They're here, they're here, they've landed on the pier!
@eradeziel
8 жыл бұрын
On one of them he says, "where are we sleeping tonight mother, FATHERS GRAVE?"
@DarrellSkipper
3 жыл бұрын
I feel like I quote this all the time and no one ever gets it. It's my favourite.
@DarrellSkipper
3 жыл бұрын
kzitem.info/news/bejne/2KBumqicjGmSmmk - I mean it's been 5 years since this comment but in case you haven't found the clip yet.
@joeylittle3535
4 жыл бұрын
"Like the endless blackness of space that leads to the casm of clams" 😂😂😂😂😂
@HunterZolomon
9 жыл бұрын
My favorite Johnny Nice clip. His companion's desperate attempts at derailing his train of thought and inevitable result is just brilliant.
@hammagic3545
9 жыл бұрын
I love how his foot gets stuck in the stool.
@lucyhogan7686
3 жыл бұрын
I just love this character in general, I used to imatate him a lot. I just love the way he goes mad, in fact my favourite actor, Justin Fletcher loves this show, he created Gigglebiz which was a child freindly version of this.
@jimmymcguire8217
2 жыл бұрын
I tried to imitate said character on a night out in brixton, if I'm honest the reviews were mixed
@shaungardner311
Жыл бұрын
@@jimmymcguire8217 brilliant!
@peterjones6321
Жыл бұрын
I reckon that was unintentional, which makes it even funnier. It'd be hard to do that deliberately.
I really felt sorry for poor Johnny during the black friday period when we was getting bombarded with adverts, his house must be totally trashed.
@DCI-Frank-Burnside
7 жыл бұрын
What Friday? Did you say...? Black!!!!??? Black Friday??? Everyday is BLACK, BLACK, BLACK!!! Black like the eternal night that harrows my soul the yawning abyss of tortured wretched beings that do mock with bitter spite my futile attempts at escape. BLACK! Where shall we sleep tonight mother? Atop fathers grave?
@gordonm.7387
7 жыл бұрын
+Woody Hutton YOU LOCK ME IN THE CELLAR AND FEED ME PINS!
@paddymchale4074
7 жыл бұрын
Woody Hutton you are a genius
@KEVWARD63
6 жыл бұрын
Adverts for pies , perhaps ??
@twitchygiraffe4636
5 жыл бұрын
You alright Dave! How's current 93 doing these days!!!!
@aporue5893
Жыл бұрын
''my eyes are pies and yours are all lies'' and ''chasm of clams'' interestingly enough are in some poems of aliester crowley. Great stuff!
@1greatfinkerofrtimes381
6 жыл бұрын
I loved this character when it was on T.V "WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH FATHER FOLD HIM LIKE A TICKET AND POKE HIM IN A HOLE?" HA HA
@lordhumungus4165
6 жыл бұрын
I remember this growing up in the 90's, absolutely brilliant, a swift antidote to depression
@foxhounduk2k8
9 жыл бұрын
"like the endless blackness of space that leads to the chasm of clams" hahaha that was it for me. i was on the floor laughing.
@chrishenniker5944
7 жыл бұрын
I like the way she gaslights him to stop him thinking of the colour black, it's the funniest thing in this sketch.
@RonWylie-gk5lc
5 жыл бұрын
and I thank you because I had never hear of "gaslighting" someone. You do learn something new every day
@Lord_Skeptic
6 ай бұрын
@@RonWylie-gk5lcthere is no such thing as gaslighting. you must have remembered that wrong.
@Lord_Skeptic
6 ай бұрын
You see what I did there
@ethzero
2 жыл бұрын
Oh my, I was so reminded of this sketch when William Shatner returned from it brief trip from the edge of space and spoke about the "blue blanket of the sky" then the black "death" of space.
@FishpondsLady
9 ай бұрын
My daughter and I used to love this. We'd completely bamboozle my sister by saying "Black, black! It's all black!" Then I'd say "My eyes are pies! And yours are lies!" And my daughter would do lobster hands and say "Into the chasm of clams". And my sister was like "what are you two even on about?" Ah, the mother and daughter bond. I miss it.
@warpnin3
5 жыл бұрын
Do you remember that old Rolling Stones song that goes: "I see a red door and I want it painted bla...".. I mean: "Brown Sugar"
@h-dawg969
3 жыл бұрын
Check out Ramon Djawadi’s versions of that track if you haven’t heard it. So good.
@h-dawg969
3 жыл бұрын
*Ramin Djawadi
@aporue5893
Жыл бұрын
orange,orange!
@maximum142
3 жыл бұрын
0:58 That sudden cut at the end of her sentence followed by his face and "BLACK" in a low-angle shot. Brilliant editing. Genius.
@ZuluRomeo
12 жыл бұрын
This is my favourite Johnny Nice Painter sketch. The way she walks straight into it is still hilarious
@dwaynedibbley436
Жыл бұрын
This was one of the better sketches they did, ridiculously funny! Had me in tears!🤣😂🤣😂
@khrystree9233
2 жыл бұрын
This still has me in stitches even 30 years on 😆 comic genius ! K
@edwardcatt2399
4 жыл бұрын
Why does "They're here ... they've landed on the pier" sound weirdly chilling? Some of Johnny's proclamations are quite sinister...
@WorldWidePatriots
3 жыл бұрын
I find most of them are rather sinister.
@billt1954
2 жыл бұрын
Edward Cat. It’s because they HAVE landed on the pier.........!
@jimmymcguire8217
2 жыл бұрын
Ahead of their time
@Losrandir
Жыл бұрын
"Maggots on toast" got me as a kid
@MarianMurphy-rz8ej
5 ай бұрын
They are occultists and serve the devil, that’s why! However, Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life 🕊❤️
@roadkilldemon1174
7 жыл бұрын
Love this scene. Wish I could find the one where he screams "WE DON'T WANT TO DIIEEEE........ They wait for me in the forest!". Brilliant!
@jamiemadigan7234
5 жыл бұрын
They're here they've landed on the pier. 😁 😂😂
@sally9805
5 жыл бұрын
I don't understand this sentence.
@PiousMoltar
3 жыл бұрын
@@sally9805 Exactly
@Mermaid6996
3 жыл бұрын
I love this. At art foundation course we students were taught that true black can never be mixed on the palette and is made up from several other dark colours - or as near as we could mix it. And the tutors were always banging on about it. So for me the joke is particularly amusing. BLACK!!! 🎨
@alexstorr3357
3 жыл бұрын
Of course now we have vanta black and more recently the even darker one created at MIT in 2019. Johnny wouldn't be able to handle them.
@jennifersivewright3117
2 жыл бұрын
We got the same at A level
@shaungardner311
Жыл бұрын
Surly you would have to mix them to make..... BLACK!
@nozyspy4967
5 жыл бұрын
"The Chasm of Clams"
@aporue5893
Жыл бұрын
this features in one of aliester crowley's poems when referring to the birth of venus. ''a light shone forth amongst the chasm of clams''
@stevephillips7264
3 жыл бұрын
Fast show is my favourite sketch show of all time and Charlie higson plays my most favourite characters
@Jez2008UK
4 жыл бұрын
When he says the bit about "fold him like a ticket and poke him in a hole" it reminds me of when I was on a bus in the 70's in London and I used to roll up my tickets on the bus and poke them into the rivet holes. I did it once and the other passengers were looking at me like I was mad ! This sketch takes me back to then every time..... :)
@supbilly07
4 жыл бұрын
I love how he always destroyed his wife's painting as well 😂
@MadKingJorge
3 жыл бұрын
Sister wife?
@jimmymcguire8217
2 жыл бұрын
Carer?
@eleanorhogan8643
2 жыл бұрын
My mother went to an adult education centre and there was a painter called Johnny, he looked like him and he sounded like him but he did not act like him when he thought about the colour black.
@kevinfitz5574
10 жыл бұрын
All done in one take as well. Sheer brilliance!
@AndyJackson380
4 жыл бұрын
Apart from when he gets his foot stuck!
@KEVWARD63
3 жыл бұрын
@@AndyJackson380 Which added to the sketch & made funnier
@ianmillerphotography
10 жыл бұрын
This still has to be my favourite sketch of all the Fast Shows. I agree with the comments below that it is still unrivalled. Thank you for sharing
@blackmore4
5 жыл бұрын
Could you explain it? The joke. I mean I get that it's poking fun at political correctness but is there more?
@RonWylie-gk5lc
5 жыл бұрын
Yes this was the very best for me, It is just perfect, change anything and it would not be as good
@theonlyrick
4 жыл бұрын
@@blackmore4 I'm not sure it is poking fun at PC? I see the humour as being about someone on the surface being sweet and inoffensive to the point of being boring, but underneath that they're actually a swirling rage of insane gibberish.
@probono3284
4 жыл бұрын
@blackmore4 If you don’t get it no amount of explanation will help. Humour is like a frog - it doesn’t survive dissection.
@joeylittle3535
Жыл бұрын
@@blackmore4 it's funny because it makes you laugh
@RonWylie-gk5lc
7 жыл бұрын
For me, this was the very best "Johnny", "the pies but yours are lies" and "what should we do with father" are part of my vocabulary lol, people who didn't watch the fast show are often puzzled
@neilcole3406
3 жыл бұрын
I think sometimes we all want to do a Johnny!
@yootha12
7 жыл бұрын
the writing for this series of shows were so well timed and executed.
@FOXHOUND4143
18 күн бұрын
The way he said "chasm of the clams" is one of the most disturbing and terrifying thought-provoking sentecnes ever uttered. LOVE THIS SKETCH!
@KEVWARD63
3 жыл бұрын
76 people are going to be sent to the Chasm Of Clams , for the heresy of disliking this masterpiece !!
@shaungardner311
2 жыл бұрын
I love the way that he shouts a distorted 'black' when he throws the easel!!!? Hahahaha
@samholden2256
7 жыл бұрын
I probably go crazy like Johnny soon the way things in my life are going.
@FilipPandrc
6 жыл бұрын
Take care, man. We will all soon be one with the void. Until then, take it easy.
@PiousMoltar
3 жыл бұрын
4 years later, hope you're doing okay
@rjlchristie
2 жыл бұрын
Their hair, they're here, landed on the peer.
@markcowley1369
Жыл бұрын
I wonder if Mr Higson was ad-libbing Johnny's demented ramblings? Absolute genius.
@ShahPhilLeotardo
7 жыл бұрын
LIKE THE ENDLESS BLACKNESS OF SPACE THAT LEADS TO THE CASM OF CLAMS!!!
@pickledegg1989
8 жыл бұрын
Why do I get the feeling that I'm watching this in therapy?
@MsFarmerllama
11 жыл бұрын
The chasm....OF CLAMS!!
@BaddaBigBoom
10 жыл бұрын
"What's for dinner tonight mother is it maggots?"
@BaddaBigBoom
9 жыл бұрын
"lock me in the cellar and feed me pins!"
@jochenstacker
6 жыл бұрын
I now HAVE to sing bah, bah, twinkle, little star...
@twitchygiraffe4636
7 жыл бұрын
Charley higson has definitely taken influence from david tibet of current 93 obscurity here! I'm even convinced that they once used the line "my eyes are pies" and the one about clams as well!!!!
@Eden264
6 жыл бұрын
Black ships in my eyes! Glad I’m not the only one to get the David Tibet similarities
@twitchygiraffe4636
Жыл бұрын
Only got “Black Ships Ate The Sky” on cd! Wish i’d got that on vinyl, will cost a fortune now unless Dave reissues it soon!!!!
@twitchygiraffe4636
Жыл бұрын
.......Or is he too busy fighting the clams in the cave, eating pins and painting BLACK! BLACK! These days to be bothered?!
@druidscider
11 жыл бұрын
The fast show was the best ever, I never tire of watching it :) thank you for the upload
@SiLatics56
6 жыл бұрын
The chasm of clams haha
@JasonJason210
5 жыл бұрын
I think this the funniest one they did.
@RonWylie-gk5lc
3 жыл бұрын
Oh God how I love these characters and Johnny and Katie best of all, from first seeing this it never left me lol
@dkbt1
9 ай бұрын
Loved this era of my life! ❤
@kenmalUTUBE
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much, James, for your efforts. They are much appreciated by me - and many others, I'm sure (black!)
@jamesdavies2473
10 жыл бұрын
Perfectly brilliant, you feed me pins.
@waynedarronwalls6468
Жыл бұрын
"You lock me in the cellar and feed me pins"
@DODGETHISLUCAS8BIT
5 жыл бұрын
“Their here their here. They’ve landed on the pier”!
@ed728i
11 жыл бұрын
the fast show was a new form of comedy and for me still unmatched, i wish they would do some new stuff !! :) thanks for the vid
@anjou6497
Жыл бұрын
She keeps his madness alive and thriving. She is controlling, enabling him. " time to go home Johnny"....🤣🤣
@NickyNustar
Ай бұрын
It's hard to forget the legacy and value in the history of British culture, of this genius artist. More profound than Colonel Kurtz, it's very hard not to laugh at this.
@lmjones7716
8 жыл бұрын
7 people must be clams.
@mikeprice2498
4 жыл бұрын
Pure gold.
@stephenmiller195
3 ай бұрын
Absolutely the best one line my eyes are pies and yours are lies genius
@lusyhognaston3777
3 жыл бұрын
Genius sketch! I used to imamtate this as I found it absolutely hailiarious.
@jakubdabrowski3846
Жыл бұрын
I watched an interview with Charlie Higson. He told that Arabella Weir never knew what was about to happen, her job was to keep straight face.
@timbothegreat7767
Жыл бұрын
OH my god - this is still just as funny now, amazing show
@DollyBelladonna
4 жыл бұрын
Giles and Mary from Gogglebox in a nutshell
@halfaworldaway
3 жыл бұрын
Johnny speaks in post-rock song titles.
@somethingness
7 жыл бұрын
Sounds like a T. S. Eliot poem! (I like T. S. Eliot, really.)
@Ahibasabala
5 ай бұрын
Just like your average daily mail or GB news reader, but with the word 'dinghies' instead.
@thorpevic
2 жыл бұрын
Forget about the sheep,,Think about that star.That tiny star twinkling away in the night sky! Always tickles me! lol
@aporue5893
Жыл бұрын
''up there amongst all that ...black.'' WHEEZE.
@Hascienda27
16 күн бұрын
"They're here, They're here, They've landed on the Pier !"
@1977iro
10 жыл бұрын
they look for me in the caves
@CB-RADIO-UK
4 жыл бұрын
"You locked me in the cellar and fed me PINS"
@purplecrown505
2 ай бұрын
Three Men, Two Men, One Man and his Dog WENT to mow a meadow 😂
@willmoore7582
10 ай бұрын
Why oh why do I find this character/sketch so damned funny? Depressive Johnny and his companion out on a field trip painting and the inevitable regressive manic episode...😲😆😅🤣😂
@keeperofthecheese
9 жыл бұрын
All on its own against all that *black* LOL
@lakesj491
7 жыл бұрын
their here landed on the pier
@rjlchristie
2 жыл бұрын
Their hair, they're here, landed on the peer.
@JourneyToDylan
Ай бұрын
What’s for tea tonight mother? Shadows and lies… on toast? 😂😂😂😂
@croydonrudeness
3 жыл бұрын
the chasm of clams!
@Taporeee
7 жыл бұрын
How everyone reacts to the mention of Brexit.
@jochenstacker
6 жыл бұрын
Tapor E but only because it's even crazier than him :-D
@footielad8301
5 жыл бұрын
Everyone or just remoaners?
@tadamichikuribayashi2869
3 жыл бұрын
@@footielad8301 Thank you for proving the point
@hitchiker4242
8 жыл бұрын
Inspired by the beatles, lucy in the pie with diamonds
@kukumuniu5658
Ай бұрын
I don't understand why for so many years no one posted all of Johnny's adventures in one video from the beginning to the end
@BaddaBigBoom
10 жыл бұрын
"Lock me in the cellar and feed me pins"
@danielwilliamson6180
7 жыл бұрын
1:01 LOL
@GusinLanzarote
4 жыл бұрын
BRILLIANT ;) hilarious
@grandadcornflakessketches6636
8 жыл бұрын
Superb!
@bluescousenilsatis
5 жыл бұрын
Utter genius
@kevsteele43
8 жыл бұрын
BlaaacK!!! Ahahaha!!
@6panel300
7 ай бұрын
I used to laugh at this but never fully understood it. Until a few years later I started to suffer from depression. Not something I get much now I have found a cure....Grandchildren. Now I find it even funnier than before. The fast show was brilliant.
@dafyddthomas7299
18 күн бұрын
Classic - this is me when my PC / Harware building goes wrong! - temper going black = smash it all up
@ianpepall1932
9 жыл бұрын
MY EYES R LIKE PIES
@midlifemoments8275
4 жыл бұрын
awesome love it
@Codex7777
8 жыл бұрын
Fantastic! :)
@garyblinston193
Ай бұрын
It’s on my YT feed yet again… and of course I had to watch it and still find as funny as ever. Did Charlie smd Arabella ad-lib this as it has that feel.
@davidsingleton1371
2 жыл бұрын
Brilliant
@kevanwitt55
5 жыл бұрын
brilliant !
@nicholasdavies6264
Жыл бұрын
Bloody brilliant! 😂😂😂
@placidrenegade
8 жыл бұрын
Ha Ha loved the fast show
@Klamath2046
4 жыл бұрын
She walked into that one
@magpies77
Жыл бұрын
They're here, they're here,they've landed on the pier..... Definitely happening daily on our coasts now and it's very black
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