When he said "I feel" is a feeling and "I feel LIKE.." is a judgement, I never thought of that. He's totally right
@melvina628
4 жыл бұрын
@@Brancaccio0 He said both. "Like" is a simile; it's not the actual feeling, which is the desired core. There's still some judgement there, even if you're judging yourself.
@alexs.2069
4 жыл бұрын
I feel [adjective] .... - good sentence I feel like [....] - not a great start, but can still be an "ok-sentence" I feel like you [...] - propably no chance for a good sentence, goes to judgement against the partner I really liked this simple explanation, got me thinking quite a lot.
@runningerins4027
4 жыл бұрын
Changing "like" to "that". Never thought of that. But he's right. "I feel like you don't listen." The other person can take it as you seem unsure. "I feel that you don't listen." Sounds more sure of yourself. But everyone can see things differently.
@melvina628
4 жыл бұрын
@@runningerins4027 The "I feel" should describe your own inner emotions, ("I feel sad," or "I feel afraid."), not describe what the other person did/didn't do ("I feel like/that you don't listen."). The moment you start talking about the other person, you are being judgmental, which is not the correct speech pattern in couples therapy.
@Lightly_Saltyago
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah it stuck out to me when he said that. Although I think revealing our perspectives even if they're wrong, is really important because it allows people to sort of set the record straight and understand everyone's concerns. Even if someone is an a-hole, let them say what they feel like about a situation. that's super informative to the therapist. lol
@KennyKennTV
4 жыл бұрын
Would have loved for them to do the argument scene in Marriage Story
@likesplants
4 жыл бұрын
That would be fantastic!
@rei_cirith
4 жыл бұрын
That movie needs a whole video dedicated to it. It was a masterpiece.
@aifas744
4 жыл бұрын
yesss
@laurenhazlett6327
4 жыл бұрын
I clicked on this hoping they would do exactly that!
@j.a.ogrady7783
4 жыл бұрын
Bonus points if its in the Goofy x Mickey dub.
@alifanabella7624
4 жыл бұрын
I began to read Twilight series a few weeks ago, and believe me every sane adult would go beyond fuming while reading Eclipse. I don't even know where to begin, God... But, the part where Jacob was manipulating Bella into kissing him before the battle was literally the worst. It wasn't a love triangle, it was a couple and another person who tried to guilt trip the girl for not loving him the way he loved her.
@fionac.5391
4 жыл бұрын
I remember reading that scene and praying Bella wouldn't allow him to manipulate her like that.
@chloesummerour112
4 жыл бұрын
COULD NOT HAVE SAID IT ANY BETTER. Everyone says that they're better together, but people don't realize that repeatedly, Jacob tells Bella who she wants to be with. And I think that that's just cruel because even if Bella couldn't let Edward out of her life, I feel like she would at least kiss Jacob back. And I feel like more that Jacob kept saying over and over that she has feelings for him, she started to believe him more. Bella has always been in love with Edward but Jacob is the one who is petty and greedy. Jacob needed to learn that he can't always get what he wants and if he doesn't have it, he shouldn't just run away to "make all his problems go away".
@Stregs
4 жыл бұрын
100% agree
@delusionalunicorn5324
4 жыл бұрын
@ebony b yeah, that so hilarious
@PanSorrow
4 жыл бұрын
Even as a teen I was always like, woah this guy needs a chill pill. She's clearly happy with this other guy who she's in a relationship with. Who in their right mind tries to sabotage their supposed best friend's relationship like that. I'd rather see my best friend happy and in love than miserable and manipulated with me.
@hannahohno
4 жыл бұрын
Oh man, and that unsolicited kiss scene in the twilight book (whichever it was) was so much worse and so much longer. She struggles to push him, but he being a werewolf, and thus much stronger than her, doesn't even budge and just forces her mouth open some more, so at some point she literally stops reacting and just waits for him to be done. It's so gross.
@kibummmm
4 жыл бұрын
I still remember that. She grabs a fistful of his hair trying to pull his head off of her, but he takes it as a sign of passion and kisses her harder e_e
@52hello25
4 жыл бұрын
Ew :(
@lordbaphie
4 жыл бұрын
@@kibummmm That's so disgusting! Man, I've never read the Twilight series and now I never will because if had to read that scene in a book, no matter how good it was, I would drop it then and there and toss it out of my window.
@nin2494
4 жыл бұрын
@@lordbaphie I hear most people describe it as a fan-fiction, oh right. It was.
@peaceblossom8
4 жыл бұрын
@@nin2494 No, the fan fiction was 50 Shades of Grey. But that was fan fiction of Twilight. They are... equally bad, really.
@linhbeifong
4 жыл бұрын
I’m glad that she said you shouldn’t put hands on your partner regardless of gender bc I brought that up with my brother and I don’t think he realized women shouldn’t hit men either
@gioaarons
4 жыл бұрын
I didn't understand why that was said though bc they definitely weren't in a relationship and its definitely okay to hit someone who just sexually assaulted you
@noelle4luv
4 жыл бұрын
@@gioaarons Yeah, I agree. It definitely is never ok to hit your partner regardless of gender but I don't think that scene matched the therapists' comment. It didn't really go with it at all. You definitely have a right to hit someone who just forced themselves on you for your own well-being and to take control of the situation if you can safely.
@WiffGiff
4 жыл бұрын
Of course no one should hit anyone. That’s a good general statement. Considering the privilege men has, the power dynamic between men and women, and the patriarchal society we live in, it’s worse when men does it to women. It’s more of a problem and too common of an occurrence.
@justcallmeteacup4711
4 жыл бұрын
@@WiffGiff We're not talking about in general though, we're talking about relationships. And in a relationship, you don't hit your partner, regardless of gender. That is abuse but also a breach of trust and respect that is independent of priviledge and patriarchy. It's just a horrible thing to do to the person you're meant to care about
@Mariposa16676
4 жыл бұрын
@@gioaarons I believe they were referring to Jacob putting his hands on Bella for the kiss
@cassidynorth1168
4 жыл бұрын
Ï agree with never hitting your partner, regardless of gender, but in this video Laura makes it sound like Bella hit Jacob out of nowhere. Jacob isn't Bella's partner - he's her friend, and he keeps ignoring and overstepping her boundaries. He forces a kiss on her after she's clearly said no - surely her punch can be seen as self-defence?
@kaz1753
4 жыл бұрын
came here to find this comment. thanks
@melvina628
4 жыл бұрын
Agreed.
@bstmeg5237
4 жыл бұрын
Yup even if she “leads him on “ her saying no gives her every right to punch him. Even tho she receprocated the kiss she is allowed to recheck his boundaries
@LucyAmelia2000
4 жыл бұрын
And remember in the Twilight series he’s a werewolf so even if Bella socked him as hard as she could it wouldn’t hurt him. It doesn’t excuse her response but there’s definitely a power imbalance
@xXAsphodelXx
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah, not gonna lie, that comment made me angry because, no, you should not hit your partner, but Jacob is NOT Bella's partner. She told him no, and he forcibly kissed her against her will. In the book, she desperately tries to push/pull him off of her, but physically can't because he's too strong and won't move. So she just winds up shutting down and begging for it to be over. Like, it was very clearly assault. So hearing someone say she shouldn't have hit him makes me really mad. Because I don't care if I WAS friends with a guy beforehand; if he holds me down and kisses me without my consent as I panic and hit and shove at him, and he just keeps going, he's getting hit.
@sarahkerr7540
4 жыл бұрын
0:29 - Lalaland 5:02 - When Harry met Sally 8:05 - Love & Basketball 11:27 - The Twilight Saga: Eclipse 13:54 - Casablanca 16:33 - Bad Moms 19:40 - Hope Springs Bump this higher if you found it useful.
@ece8011
4 жыл бұрын
thank u so much
@patriciaoneil2094
4 жыл бұрын
Thank u!
@nandinishah1709
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@joeyamar6043
4 жыл бұрын
ty!
@Chuck_EL
2 жыл бұрын
as a black man who watched love and basketball the therapist got that right...i actually went through something similar with an ex she wasnt there and only showed concerned when i happened to go on a date with a friend of mine which happened after i broke up with....whoever wrote the movie was spot on... and the reason he did what he did was when he was venting to her about his emotionally abusive father and the pressure of being the "star athlete" she was kept looking at the clock as her game was coming up and she didnt pay attention to his frustration and pain and then left to go play her game and shes done this 4 times thoroughout the film and as they mentioned she was a 3rd stringer so in reality it wouldnt of mattered if she went
@lizasaakadze5411
4 жыл бұрын
Well if a guy assults you and forces you to kiss him , pretty sure punching is a good idea.
@jessicabrack2846
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah, but I would have punched his crotch instead. Softer and they definetly feel that and can't follow me for a while. Long enough to at least get somewhat away.
@gilliansillustrations
4 жыл бұрын
Yes and no, you can defend yourself, but any situation you can escape without drawing blood is a win because in real life they are probably going to punch back and those don't end well (whether by death or someone ending up in the hospital). No contact after that or go to the police (depending on how the police are in certain areas).
@alext3480
4 жыл бұрын
keep that same energy when the roles are reversed
@jessicabrack2846
4 жыл бұрын
@@alext3480 Why shouldn't you? If they are assaulted, they have the same rights to protect themselves.
@oneslikeme
4 жыл бұрын
@@alext3480 Men are generally stronger than women, which means there is a huge imbalance of power. If a woman is able and willing to physically fight back against an assault, there is no reason she shouldn't. With the roles reversed, you now have someone in presumably a position of power wielding even more power over someone. I understand that if a man is non-violent (and many are,) that the power dynamic shifts to the woman if they are physically abusive. A non-violent man will not fight back, and I don't think it's okay for women to hit men for no reason. But for many women in abusive relationships, it's terrible to claim it isn't okay for them to fight back because "role reversal."
@noelleirina5628
4 жыл бұрын
PLEASE do The Notebook. That relationship is such a toxic mess.
@Nazaba09
4 жыл бұрын
Noelle Irina I was coming here to say this! Everyone loves that movie and it’s a toxic mess!
@delusionalunicorn5324
4 жыл бұрын
I second that. I'm baffled why it doesn’t get the hate that Twilight gets.
@nastassjaloots4717
4 жыл бұрын
Noelle Irina Right?! I LOVED that movie when I was really young and stupid, but the older I got the more I realized Allie totally should have married Lon
@MegaSizeBunny
4 жыл бұрын
I can’t stand how he forces her to go on a date with him by threatening his life! It’s so repulsive to think that is okay!
@AmyEugene
4 жыл бұрын
@@delusionalunicorn5324 I HATED The Notebook. My cousin made me watch it because it was "the best movie ever" and I just wanted to gag. It's not romantic to toss aside the person you're with because you're "meant to be" with someone else. That's just using someone until something better comes along, which Ryan Gosling's character was definitely doing with the woman he was seeing before he and Rachel McAdams' character got back together. He was sleazy and she was too naive for me to like either one of them.
@rissa_bubbles
4 жыл бұрын
Uhh if someone forcefully kisses you I do think it is okay to punch them.
@Rivenlore99
4 жыл бұрын
I mean I think it would be okay to do that
@PetersonZF
4 жыл бұрын
It's definitely okay when they're actively doing it, yes. If they back off, the window of opportunity for when it's still okay to punch them in the face starts to close. It's hard to define exactly how long that is, but whether it's seconds, minutes, hours or days, there inevitably comes a point when it's no longer self defence and just revenge.
@shellstar2467
4 жыл бұрын
Bella was defending herself after being assaulted. Don't discourage self defence.
@mandyvandenbogaard4243
4 жыл бұрын
As she was not his partner.
@shellstar2467
4 жыл бұрын
@@mandyvandenbogaard4243 exactly. Completely the wrong moment to soapbox
@faycoleman9023
4 жыл бұрын
I agree. The book and movie scene oddly enough read differently. In the book Jacob held Bella still. She was shoving and trying to get away before he even kissed her. In the movie she was clearly uncomfortable and trying to descalte the situation but she didn't shove or physically freak out while said kiss was happening. I think the reason they did this was because they still wanted this scene to be romantic in the movie. Also the after portion with Edward was different. In both takes Edward was pissed and ready to kill Jacob. In the movie Bella tries to protect Jacob while in the book she was pissed and wanted Edward to kick Jacobs butt.
@shellstar2467
4 жыл бұрын
@@faycoleman9023 she did shove at some point in movie
@chiaraippoliti
4 жыл бұрын
shell star So if a female tries to kiss a guy, he can hit her?
@FlagCutie
4 жыл бұрын
"You don't get to argue with somebody else's feelings!" PREACH!
@Redmanticore
4 жыл бұрын
_I am sorry you choose to feel that way._
@diamondheart1580
4 жыл бұрын
I read this as she said it
@tia4337
4 жыл бұрын
Time stamp?
@adventuresofasimpleton
4 жыл бұрын
I think this is also important in the case of arguing with someone. If they’re emotionally bound to their belief, even if it’s a fallacy, it becomes difficult for you to talk sense into them. Emotions are indeed powerful driving forces.
@colourqueen22
4 жыл бұрын
@@tia4337 13:00
@QueenCloveroftheice
4 жыл бұрын
Literally the only good thing Edward ever did in that series was call Jacob out for kissing Bella without her consent.
@xxBlackToenailxx
4 жыл бұрын
"Flesh, and blood, and warm" "and assault" LMAO
@notinusediana4991
4 жыл бұрын
I agree that there shouldn't be violence between partners, but Jacob kissed Bella against her will. She was right to hit him (well a warewolf so lol she didn't do anything). Not promoting violence, but there are boundaries and you don't get to just land a kiss on someone without their consent. I'd slap them if someone would do that to me.
@rufiredup90
4 жыл бұрын
Yes that kind of “violence” is justified cuz people need to know boundaries cannot be crossed!
@whiteraven562
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, this, exactly!
@dasher607
4 жыл бұрын
Right? He mentioned “assault” and I thought he was talking about Jacob kissing Bella. Seems like he was more focused on her hitting him. I think In the book it was even worse though. If I remember it correctly, he said he was going to let himself get killed in the upcoming battle (I forget who they were fighting) if she didn’t kiss him. He manipulated her into kissing him. I was so pissed off when I was reading that.
@aliennh
4 жыл бұрын
Haha, agreed! And what if she were to have pushed him away instead of punching him? Would that be considered assault? Or what if there was a door there and she slammed it (out of anger/frustration/whatever emotion) to make a statement. Would that be seen as being "violent?" Yes, in an ideal world whenever conflict arises we would be able to talk it out in a calm and civil manner...but that's not always the case...we are humans after all? Just don't make that kind of behaviour a habit? But like, if it happens once in a blue moon? The question should be, did anyone get hurt? (well, yes, I believe Bella hurt her hand lol). And who's to say that verbal abuse doesn't hurt as much as physical abuse? Can it be even more damaging? Just some food for thought.
@aliennh
4 жыл бұрын
Also, Laura Heck says, "It is not okay to put hands on your partner" and "Physical violence, verbal weapons, they're all the same." So does she mean that both physical abuse and verbal/emotional/mental abuse are equally wrong? But then why would she say that it's not okay to put hands on your partner, yet not say that it's not okay to use your words as a weapon?
@Nightknight1992
4 жыл бұрын
i dont think its ok to punch someone, i however think its ok to punch someone that just assaulted you
@nbucwa6621
4 жыл бұрын
Yes this was pretty victim-blamey when it was a case of self-defense.
@fierhuh708
4 жыл бұрын
I can't help but disagree. You don't need to use physical violence to assert yourself or establish boundaries. It's not a case of self defense, either, as punching Jacob in the face wouldn't be useful as self defense and it was more of an offensive attack. However, if he was continuing to press onto her, I think in that case using an appropriate amount of force to defend yourself is perfectly respectable. All that is really necessary in this scenario is for her to clearly explain her boundaries and outline consent. (Of course, he shouldn't be doing things without consent - but my original point is that a punch isn't going to do more than words can establish)
@sirxlla
4 жыл бұрын
I think Laura misunderstood that Edward and Bella are together and Jacob keeps trying to force Bella to love him.
@Redmanticore
4 жыл бұрын
technically it was just a revenge shot after the kiss had already ended. she had already pushed him away and he had already stopped and backed off. then if you still continue to choose to come after him and hit, it turns into a battery. has there ever been a scene in film history, where a girl forcibly kisses a boy she wants to date, and the boy straight up hits her hard with a fist in self defence middle of kiss? is he portrayed as the good guy after that in the film or the bad guy? would be interesting.
@Nightknight1992
4 жыл бұрын
@@Redmanticore completely misses the point, doesnt really matter to me if its during the assault or seconds after...
@linaaviles430
4 жыл бұрын
“You don’t get to argue with somebody else’s feelings” YES
@misspriss2482
4 жыл бұрын
You do if that person's actions contradict with what they say their feelings are. For example, if someone told you that they feel that the two of you need space and yet they are constantly coming around you and calling you, clearly that doesn't make sense. Some people claim that they don't want you anymore; yet, they don't want you to move on either and want to know that when they are bored, you will still be there waiting for them. I don't think so.
@Anonymous18531
4 жыл бұрын
12:12 "And assault" Literally had to pause to stop chuckling
@FlagCutie
4 жыл бұрын
Same!
@hay_bail1
4 жыл бұрын
Anonymous Guy this scene is even more gross in the book
@firexx78
4 жыл бұрын
@@hay_bail1 Yeah but the scene right after where Edward races to threaten Jacob was so worth it. The book described it so well, he was on the phone with Bella laughing thinking that she punched him for being an idiot, when she said Jacob kissed her, you immediately hear a car starting in the background because Edward rushed to it to drive over to Bella. That part in the books made me SWOON. The movie did not do it justice.
@Nazaba09
4 жыл бұрын
I was laughing so hard when they said Jacob and bella were the toxic relationship. 😂
@AF-ft6nh
4 жыл бұрын
YES, PART 2! I really liked the first video with Disney couples, I did not expect another one ^^ Thank you!
@be_me
4 жыл бұрын
Through this video I've just realised that I am guilty of a few of these bad behaviour patterns. That might not necessarily have been the main purpose of this video but I am really glad to have watched it. There definitely are some things I have to change about the way I act when my boyfriend and I are arguing. Having grown up in a family where "arguing" didn't happen at all or only in the form of "the silent treatment" , I am now having a lot of issues with that in my relationship. Thanks for making me realise that and I'd really like to see more videos with you two.
@nbucwa6621
4 жыл бұрын
You should check out Psychology in Seattle. IMO the therapist is great and reacts to some popular shows. Watching him actually made me realise some of the unhelpful patterns and habits I have.
@be_me
4 жыл бұрын
@@nbucwa6621 Thanks for the recommendation. I'll definitely check it out.
@Perlajuice
4 жыл бұрын
I'll like to know a man that recognize this behaviors I don't think my husband would do
@be_me
4 жыл бұрын
@@Perlajuice Honestly, for the most part I think my boyfriend doesn't either. I've actually been watching a lot of Psychology in Seattle since I wrote this comment and it has helped a lot. Sometimes I wish I could show these videos to my boyfriend but he is not very interested in actively spending time on something like this. But, at least for me, it has proven to be worth it to spend so much time on learning about communication and I've had some really positive experiences since then.
@taliamason7986
4 жыл бұрын
The great thing about La La Land in general is despite how profoundly strong the relationship and chemistry is between Mia and Sebastian was. Ultimately it was their two completely seperate dreams that kept them apart in the future towards the end. Her dream was to become an actress and his dream was to open his own Jazz Club. Originally they were supposed to be together just as that incredible and powerful second ending very strongly indicates. However the Director (Damien Chazzel) decided that it would be better to keep them apart at the end to focus on their dreams and show that not all great relationships like that end up staying that way in the future.
@summern8157
4 жыл бұрын
It's also so realistic. You really can't have it all, and these two had to choose to sacrifice their relationship or their dreams.
@reemtri
4 жыл бұрын
If they have time, I hope they do a third video. Really like this series.
@crossity3385
4 жыл бұрын
I fricken love these two! Them nerding out over the Harry met sally scene really shines light on the reason that movie is so great! I feel like I need more of these two! Anyone else?
@cristinavalladares9953
4 жыл бұрын
PLEASE PLEASE do more of these videos! You should definitely talk about the famous trilogy Before Sunrise, Before Sunset and Before Midnight. There is so much to talk about Jesse & Celine, perhaps a video about the evolution of their relationship through the years???? THANKS VANITY FAIR AND LAUREN AND ZACH
@heytheredollfacex
4 жыл бұрын
Yes!!
@BlueMHart
4 жыл бұрын
I was just about to leave the same comment! I would LOVE to see an analysis of Jesse & Celine's argument in Before Midnight (though that would be a very long video...). It's one of the most painful and realistic-feeling arguments that I've seen in a movie.
@burcian
4 жыл бұрын
was just thinking this, great idea!
@Chihiro99685
4 жыл бұрын
Omg yes!!!
@markmallecoccio4521
4 жыл бұрын
I'd love to see these two examine non-romantic relationships in film and TV, like police or paramedic partners
@s29nv1sr1
4 жыл бұрын
I think somebody also asked this when this team reviewed Disney couples. They asked them to review platonic relationships like Moana & Maui. I'd love to see them do that!
@Raviscerator
4 жыл бұрын
The Odd Couple!
@DenisseG
4 жыл бұрын
I’d love to see the couples in the tv show friends, Monica and chandler and Ross and Rachel, I love these topics because I’m close to graduating as a bachelor in psychology, keep them coming!
@CanaAlyce
4 жыл бұрын
Jim and Pam have so much communication issues.
@bonbon2225
4 жыл бұрын
“She doesn’t know what she wants” bruh she made it very clear she doesn’t want you.... god Jacob is such garbage I don’t get how anyone liked him smh.
@rizahawkeyepierce1380
4 жыл бұрын
I remember him being sweet in book 2 but suddenly in book 3 he turns into a monster.
@Redmanticore
4 жыл бұрын
i think it couldve turned turn that scene into sexier seduction one, if he almost kisses her, but waits just before the lips touch, and waits for her to open her eyes after kiss doesnt happen, looking at his eyes, he looks back at her, then he smiles and backs off, leaving her hanging.
@destinymcnair682
3 жыл бұрын
They do almost kiss in New moon
@marionagam739
4 жыл бұрын
when harry met sally is one of the best rom coms EVER
@WiffGiff
4 жыл бұрын
I hear people say that, never got around watching it. Hard to watch these types of movies when the male lead is so ugly.
@johanvajse8410
4 жыл бұрын
because ugly people don't deserve love? get over yourself
@cheyennerose2177
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for finally bringing up how toxic Jacob was. Always not respectful of Bella and forcing himself on her yet everyone claims he’s the better option.
@33Jenesis
4 жыл бұрын
He’s jealous and tries to one up Edward. Bella is caught between them unfortunately.
@bottomofastairwell
4 жыл бұрын
well, better option in the twilight universe is like trying to pick between dying in fire or getting stabbed to death...
@MariaM-ki9ei
4 жыл бұрын
Please do "You" series, I don't understand how some girls are fangirling over Joe and saying they want a bf like him. Wtf
@alextalkey4304
4 жыл бұрын
Bc joe is very charismatic and handsome, his "boyfriend" facade made it looked like he was the cool boyfriend you want but deep down he's just a creep
@clare2316
3 жыл бұрын
This is so true. I think a lot of people miss that this is not a healthy relationship. He is a stalker! There was an interview where the actor himself in other words said, this is not a healthy relationship and that he also says people are romanticizing Joe because he is good looking and is charasmatic. He even mentions in other words had this been someone not good looking and charasmatic they would not see Joe in a romanticizing way.
@perennials118
4 жыл бұрын
"You don't get to argue with somebody else's feelings. Those are *THEIR* feelings." WOW.
@mickey4125
4 жыл бұрын
Man I love these two analysing together, can we get this as a regular series??
@krysslucario9478
4 жыл бұрын
I’m studying psych rn and I absolutely love this videos. Not just for that, but as a 16 year old reflecting on any relationships. Please keep this series going if you can, it’s helping a lot of people
@monabohamad2242
4 жыл бұрын
"Helping a lot of people" why? is it because people like to make Fiction dictate their lives and nobody can watch fictional things for entertainment or what?
@AK-ne3cm
4 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad they made another one of these. It helps put into words what made me uncomfortable in some of these scenes and also just what's important in healthy relationships
@YB-ll5mg
4 жыл бұрын
I agree to never hit your partner but she wasn't dating Jacob and he forced a kiss onto her- I think a punch was alright to do because it was against her will. It's basically self-defense.
@theupwardspiral1580
4 жыл бұрын
"is that a gun in her hand? That oughta motivate him." "She needs the letters." Lmao i had to pause to laugh. That was PERFECT
@RAAM90
4 жыл бұрын
Blue Valentine and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind should be here.
@mwiese2593
4 жыл бұрын
Isn't saying "i wish i could" just another way of saying "i don't want to say yes but i don't want to hurt your feelings by saying no"
@alexrodriguez3993
4 жыл бұрын
We need a part 3. Love watching them!
@danielachamorro8783
4 жыл бұрын
These guys validating When Harry Met Sally makes me so happy ❤️
@jensbasement3862
4 жыл бұрын
"Arguing someone out of their feelings". That's called a trapped relationshit
@magesentron
4 жыл бұрын
I guess we're going to ignore the fact that Twilight is about groups of supernatural adults preying on a child.
@hlabhlabhlab
3 жыл бұрын
I thought Jacob was her age and Edward is the only old one technically (like he's still old but also his brain is technically stunted in the mentality which he "died" in). Then again I don't really know about twilight but yeah creepy nonetheless.
@yoonmikim5663
4 жыл бұрын
I'd kinda like a look at Gaslight, the toxic parts of Twilight, and other relationships of that sort in film. Also, maybe the rest of the Disney films.
@anab5308
4 жыл бұрын
I wish you had reviewed a star is born. I’ve never been so angry watching a romance.
@camila-costa
4 жыл бұрын
saaaaaaaaame!!
@sneh5748
4 жыл бұрын
Why? Asking coz I haven't watched it and want to
@paula9197
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I really disliked the dynamics between the two main characters. I cant remember what Lady Gaga's character's name is, but man, I felt so sorry for her. That's not how a man is supposed to treat the woman he loves.
@taliamason7986
4 жыл бұрын
That's the whole concept of A Star is Born as far back as it's inception in 1937 with Janet Gaynor and Fredrick March. It's meant to depict a very complex, sad and powerful, very realistic and dramatic relationship between a woman who rises into a star on the stage and a man who generally has a deep struggle with a drug addiction that ultimately ends his life.
@kbot4858
4 жыл бұрын
@@taliamason7986 I saw the first one, and the Judy Garland one. Relationships with addicts are always a disaster when the addict isn't seeking treatment or maintaining sobriety.
@skeletoneg
4 жыл бұрын
Right in the end of the twilight clip, I noticed Jacob saying "she doesn't know what she wants," and I think that line itself is dangerous. To that I would've said, "well who are you to know what she wants?"
@athenajaxon2397
4 жыл бұрын
Edward pretty much says that he says something along the line of "wait for her to say the words"
@Piti_Pingu
4 жыл бұрын
I'm gonna be sad if this series stops after the Pandemic, it's amazing I love this little show X3
@kristenlam7858
4 жыл бұрын
La la land’s argument scene was truly well written, even in a cinematic sense it really brought out the climax of the plot. It’s so real.
@amberts180
4 жыл бұрын
13:03 I got chills when Laura looked into the camera and said, "Look, you don't get to ARGUE with someone's FEELINGS." If I don't take anything else I understand and believe that. Thanks for that lesson, Laura.
@AFLoneWolf
4 жыл бұрын
Worst movie relationship: How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days.
@charmb.8838
4 жыл бұрын
They should turn this into a series, I'd definitely watch
@summerjams3650
4 жыл бұрын
"-part of what is challenging to watch therapists on television is that they're not designed to of help to the couple. They're designed to be a comic relief." YES! I would add that therapists on television are also there to spark more drama for the viewers in a way that's not helpful for the characters in the story.
@JP-dw9tv
4 жыл бұрын
Please keep this series going, I really like the dynamic of these two. Would love to see more vids of them analyzing media depictions of romance!
@DanaLover
4 жыл бұрын
If someone kissed me by force like Jacob did when I clearly showed signs of being uncomfortable, like Bella did, I would react the same and give out a punch.
@mamymimma
4 жыл бұрын
I'd be curious about Her
@oldtimesong
4 жыл бұрын
When the situation overwhelms me so much I completely shut down and leave. The day I broke up with my ex, we were at a restaurant and I remember the rush, almost uncontrollable, I felt and, suddenly, I was leaving the restaurant as if the place was on fire. I wish I could calm down and be able to reconduct the situation, even when I know the thing is over, but emotions make me act irrationally.
@33Jenesis
4 жыл бұрын
It isn’t irrational. It was just the outward action after a prolong contemplation and inner struggle. Some people need alone time to process. When forced to confront they shut down and fleet the scene. Some never return for discussion (door slamming). Some manage to calm down and discuss later.
@jessiann82
4 жыл бұрын
I saw twilight *so I clicked*
@jazzijazmin13
4 жыл бұрын
In love and basketball, she wasn’t available once bc she had a goal and would get in trouble if she stayed out past curfew. And instead of him understanding he cut her off. His revelation about his father wasn’t even that surprising. Maybe to a child but not a young adult i.m.o
@Redmanticore
4 жыл бұрын
she would have found time for him even before curfew. there is always time if you really want to. minutes here and there.
@jazzijazmin13
4 жыл бұрын
redmanticore she gave him minutes tho, recall the bleacher scene, he wasn’t content with minutes here and there. And he could have understood his girlfriend has dreams and aspirations, just as she understood his. And in that moment finding out your father is a cheater is not more important then damaging his girlfriends career and a pivotal moment for her, in his selfishness.
@geenee3589
Жыл бұрын
this reminded me why La La Land was such an amazing film. That argument scene is so realistic and acted so perfectly - being upset about something your partner says, then going for his/her pain point to get back...then escalating to very unhappy consequences, words that cannot be unsaid. Major props to the actors and screenwriters
@_alannahjade_
4 жыл бұрын
Please do a TV series edition of this. Kudos to these videos, am really loving them!
@s29nv1sr1
4 жыл бұрын
I asked to do High School Musical: The Musical: The Series, because there are so many potential relationships to analyze with that show! The only problem is that it's a Disney+ original. :(
@user-il6hf4up5y
4 жыл бұрын
twilight literally is about boundaries tho like physically and emotionally and even mentally, ive never thought about that before
@araceli1852
4 жыл бұрын
If you up to do a part 3 please do!! I really enjoy this!
@twinberettas
4 жыл бұрын
I am LOVING this line of "___ Review _____". I said this last time you had a video by these two, but I'll say it again - PLEASE make more! They're so interesting and as a romance-movie fan it's really fascinating to see what couples that we may idolize now and then are actually really unhealthy (and which aren't). I'd love to see a breakdown of the love stories in Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice, Emma, etc). Just tossing my suggestion in the jar. Thank you for more of these!
@seppyq3672
4 жыл бұрын
"Only talking AT each other". Explains the reason for my divorce.
@loenanurgel
4 жыл бұрын
You should always ALWAYS defend yourself when you're being assaulted, with physical violence if necessary. Dr. Heck should really think about what she said here. Jacob was not her partner.
@lasers0pewpew
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the video, guys, super interesting! For the next one, you should definitely analyse 'Midsommar' for a realistic look at gaslighting and emotional distancing.
@egg_bun_
4 жыл бұрын
Ugh I need a full video on this!
@FTNChicken
4 жыл бұрын
I'm honestly really impressed by the writers of some of these movies. They so effectively captured these realistic relationship dynamics that when these trained therapists with years of experience watch them, they can actually analyze it coherently. Really amazing
@daneefly
4 жыл бұрын
gottman method - defensiveness, criticism, contempt, stonewalling i wrote this down to search, thought it be useful for others too!
@leeannatweed8811
4 жыл бұрын
Screenshotted this. I’m in a healthy relationship but I can be Mia and I don’t want to be.
@jam9859
4 жыл бұрын
Lol my whole emotional repertoire
@emilyduke418
4 жыл бұрын
A good term to search for to learn more about this concept is “the four horsemen of divorce”! :)
@suelawson7273
4 жыл бұрын
Try the channel 'Psychology In Seattle' if you haven't already
@madelinefindlay9246
4 жыл бұрын
"They both look like they are in pain" That's because the actors hate twilight I feel for them........😂😂😂😂
@jillhayes82
4 жыл бұрын
The fact that they didn’t even acknowledge that Mia was attacking Sebastian for having a job because she doesn’t have one...she’s awful to him multiple times in the movie and I wish they could’ve seen that more.
@rro1020
4 жыл бұрын
Vanity Fair, please keep doing these videos! As a hopeless romantic, I often dream of having a relationship similar to what is shown in the movies, but as I'm learning, some of these relationships aren't as romantic as I remembered them to be. This is a great analysis on how relationships are portrayed in movies.
@Binta2
4 жыл бұрын
Criticism, defensiveness and stonewalling. They just described my relationship with my sister.
@estherrogers5553
4 жыл бұрын
Same 😅
@Erica-en2qz
4 жыл бұрын
I love that they did Love and Basketball. I'm forever trying to psychoanalyze that movie (or the characters in it, rather). He wanted her to be there for him, but couldn't handle that her dream was as important to her as his was to him.
@Markynaz
4 жыл бұрын
I think most of us already have a rough idea, and seeing how these professionals analyzed them cemented the fact that, these relationships in movies and most popular media are just awful.
@melvina628
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, because somebody told writers that healthy relationships are boring, which they aren't. They might require good writers.
@katherinefuller2314
4 жыл бұрын
She kinda looks like Emma! These are some of my favorite breakdowns
@lilmakori
4 жыл бұрын
Please do more of these videos.
@isabelleyukie2006
4 жыл бұрын
Imagine if they watched after 😳😂
@Alex-rk1dd
4 жыл бұрын
Whew Chile, they would have a field day
@Marvelfan-nu7ve
4 жыл бұрын
MAKE THEM WATCH THE MARRIAGE STORY ARGUMENT SCENE!!!
@reel2711
4 жыл бұрын
I got bummed that you guys didn’t even bother doing Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Marriage Story, Blue Valentine, or even 500 Days of Summer
@MariaM-ki9ei
4 жыл бұрын
Yo should also do Ron and Hermione relationship in Harry Potter. I ship Romione, but even J K Rowling herself said that couples therapy might be useful for these two
@Obi-Wan_Kenobi
4 жыл бұрын
Now do the scene where Anakin chokes Padme.
@bassett_green
4 жыл бұрын
Shout out to the editing on this, the background music while the two are talking does a lot to help it feel like they are "together" instead of just on video chat with each other
@FinancialShinanigan
4 жыл бұрын
They should talk about Rey and Kylo's kiss lol
@saya1720_
4 жыл бұрын
Look. I don't wanna be a target of reylo shippers but now I have to say it. I don't get it. 😂 I don't see how they just fell in love. That kiss was kinda like "huh that happened". I get why they are shipped coz the idea of star crossed lovers is delicious but I don't think their relationship was given enough development.
@sarahbuckley8109
4 жыл бұрын
Imperfect Gods I disagree. We saw them develop through the entirety of the last Jedi, and by the end of it they had a true connect. Where they were lost was their split ideologies. But the end of rise of skywalker they both came together in a harmonious way and finally understood the other.
@saya1720_
4 жыл бұрын
@@sarahbuckley8109 I see the understanding of a bond. I don't see the love.
@Soulbloom1
4 жыл бұрын
Wow! That Casablanca scene breakdown was such a great visual for a relationship fight.
@calebebner2101
4 жыл бұрын
Ugh! Why didn't they do Marriage Story?!?!?!?!
@cannonrange9977
4 жыл бұрын
That a partner doesn't have a right to "argue" me out of my feelings is... Deeply important for me to remember. I'm appreciative that these experts pointed it out.
@mouvonne
4 жыл бұрын
god bless you vanity fair for bringing amazing content during these times. binge watch all your videos. big love!
@Fishnetfreud
4 жыл бұрын
I love that they reviewed Hope Springs. Such an amazing movie to depict problems in a longtime marriage.
@mayamason7268
4 жыл бұрын
Was there anyone else who was startled by the ding at 22:32
@luanasantana3840
4 жыл бұрын
Maya Mason kct vdd
@meganford8735
4 жыл бұрын
Omg I came looking for a comment about this hahaha I got so confused
@12AnimeObsession
4 жыл бұрын
I love these "therapists review" clips. Please make some more! There are so many relationships out there to review lol
@ChabuyaClub
4 жыл бұрын
You should do Friends, the we were on a break part
@surprisedpikachuface9864
4 жыл бұрын
Please make this a series! Love the analysis and the dynamic between the two therapists!
@natashalavender7758
4 жыл бұрын
Seeing Meryl Streep reminded me I'd love to see Julie & Julia on this (a comparison of the two marriages!) Also Dirty Dancing just because it's awesome
@ThePurpleCosmos
4 жыл бұрын
I'm so happy they're continuing this! More please, these are so good
@thepotato9459
4 жыл бұрын
That best friend advice is something I grew up with. So absolutely true
@Mayday_982
4 жыл бұрын
Actually going to couples counseling: expensive Watching this video: free Im learning so much tho. This is so helpful since being young and in a relationship, you have a lot to learn about your partner, yourself, and handling a relationship.
@callmecordelia7181
4 жыл бұрын
Mayrian Castillo There are a list of movies and questions online for couples to watch together and discuss to help their relationship. I used to have a copy of the list when I was in undergrad. You might be able to find it with a little patience on google or even google scholar
@WalterLiddy
4 жыл бұрын
As they talk about the La La Land scene, it becomes clear their interest is simply in keeping the characters together, not in finding out if the characters SHOULD be together in the first place, which is what they are learning in the film. There is a purpose to their argument - they are discovering where their interests and expectations diverge. Also, he didn't say "You're just an actress." He said, "You're an actress," to point out that she also cares how people see her. So their analysis here strikes me as pretty half-assed as they aren't really paying attention to the scene.
@aliennh
4 жыл бұрын
Laura Heck says, "It is not okay to put hands on your partner" and "Physical violence, verbal weapons, they're all the same." So does she mean that both physical abuse and verbal/emotional/mental abuse are equally wrong? But then why would she say that it's not okay to put hands on your partner, yet not say that it's not okay to use your words as a weapon?
@j.kaimori3848
4 жыл бұрын
I think the problem is that they're trying to save all the relationships, and that may be good for a couple that love each other and have the same job. And not all people or relationships can be like that. Like when they said they wouldn't tell someone to get a divorce.
@snowcrave
4 жыл бұрын
the most important question all couples should ask their therapist when going in for marriage counseling but nobody ever does is " how long have you been married?" "would you consider your marriage a successful one?" is also a good question to ask before going forward with couples counseling.
@suvigyabasnotra7378
4 жыл бұрын
Can't wait for next parts and troubled couples...!😂
@shaniawilkinson7620
4 жыл бұрын
I would love to see their take on "Her". Such an amazing and strange love story.
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