Subscriber 48! Bright insight for everyone, those affected or knowing someone who is affected or understanding/identifying those dealing with anxiety.
@ranc1977
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Social anxiety is not connected with contact - otherwise introversion would be problem, too. Social anxiety is trauma and toxic shame issue. Instead of accepting emotions - there is processing emotions that is needed. We need to process trauma - our triggers- mere accepting will not help with this processing. Processing means regulation and knowing how to handle difficult people who cause social anxiety in the first place. Listening to other person will not help with social anxiety - it will only lead to people pleasing and fawning to others and making other people into gods whom we must listen and serve and obey without saying no to them. Exposure will lead to re-traumatization. Agoraphobia is not the same as social anxiety and it occurs with it - and agoraphobia is healed by exposure. Social anxiety is not. That is why social anxiety is renamed from social phobia into social anxiety in mid 1990s. Toxic shame is all the parts of ourselves which we are ashamed of. You described it in the video: "scared of a lot of people, sat at home, paralyzed with Netfix and junk food" - "that's not the life you want" - that is all toxic shame. You are not processing emotions which lead to being scared and staying at home and watching TV - there is a message why we resort to these defense mechanisms - and we need to process it, not merely accept it or stifle it down. There are toxic people out there - narcissists who are very much busy at the target - due to narcissistic supply - they see other people as the source of admiration and validation - so they will spend a lot of time being focused on other people - and it will be us, socially anxious empaths who are insecure about accepting our core self. When you reject parts of your self which are scared and immobile - you are self abusing yourself. And that will attract toxic people who will join into rape of our Self. Learning a lot about narcissistic abuse will help us to recognize red flags. Toxic shame need our attention - and we need to process emotions. NEurodivergent brains will be prone to think a lot - this is not sickness , nor abnormality. Without this ability - humans would never discover any new idea - because everyone would be stuck at the conformism and groupthink herd mentality without making any changes to make progress.
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