What do you think people need to STOP doing if they want to build better friendships/relationships?
@BudsFreedomJourney
2 жыл бұрын
I used to be super agreeable and would go help anyone who wanted my help anytime they needed it. I've gotten to the point where I make sure to have me time NO MATTER WHAT. I don't do it in a mean way though. I only say no when I need to because I still love helping people. If I do say no usually it's something like this "I'm sorry but right now I don't have any extra energy to help right now. I would love to help you another time though" Doing this has really helped my mental state and I actually get to help more. I get to be at full capacity when I'm helping too so that's a bonus.
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
@@BudsFreedomJourney put on your own oxygen mask first!
@BudsFreedomJourney
2 жыл бұрын
@@SamLui exactly. Can't help someone else if you're already struggling to breathe
@makiwi0503
2 жыл бұрын
The worm part was definitely unexpected and got a good laugh 😂
@leoliu7840
2 жыл бұрын
I get taken advantage of a lot when I was working because I acted insecure and like a prey, always with my back hunched. I was afraid of getting fired because I also have a tendency to lash out and act invulnerable to resist. I was extremely agreeable and turned extremely disagreeable out of shame. Don't be like me everyone. I try not to label myself as agreeable or disagreeable. I just want to be a good person, have respect for myself and others, and to practice my courage.
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
Respect yourself ✊ thanks for sharing!
@dimitriystremoukhov7291
2 жыл бұрын
When I draw boundaries as a shy person I like to imagine I’m a tiny me inside an indestructible mech suit- I’ve also learned when you stop thinking about changing people you end up having more fun w them! Also, keep up the dope background music!
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
😂
@professorprofessorson8795
Жыл бұрын
its crazy how wise you are for someone so young
@espadakillar
10 ай бұрын
Reminding myself at my current new workplace. Hope it will last longer than my previous job.
@heatherfeather9951
2 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately some of us had parents who groomed us to be people pleasers. We have to learn to draw boundaries.
@_unsteady
Жыл бұрын
9:16 - Leading by example (eg instead of lecturing someone towards being more optimistic, being an optimist yourself) - Using the Socratic method (through a series of questions, making the other person understand their own viewpoints around that toxic relationship or job and eventually examine whether they’re being logical or inline with their values)
@ProcuraRt
2 жыл бұрын
Great content as always. I think a good quality of a successful relationship is being dependable. Don't give someone the time of day to someone who doesn't have the time for you. I've had great success in finding friends that way.
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
Reciprocity! I dig it
@jashan4835
2 жыл бұрын
true dat
@johnraymundaguila
2 жыл бұрын
We all have a story no one told, so respect everyone’s decision. You’re on point 👍
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
💯
@yvsh
2 жыл бұрын
Recently found your channel and I'm digging the vibes so far. Although I have great, positive and respectful relationships with almost everyone, I find I can be over-helpful, oversharing with some people and expect them to reciprocate but when it doesn't happen, I feel insecure and self-conscious(which doesn't help since I rank high in neuroticism). So I've limited this behaviour and cut down on my expectations and it has helped me so far. So basically I treat them with the same priority as they treat me. Anyway, I'm prob oversharing right now lol but nice video dude. Peace
@gracianafayedomingo
2 жыл бұрын
Damn! This video has A TON of learnings one can apply right away. Love it, man!
@strawberrijam3676
2 жыл бұрын
Actually the idea of not deminishing one's problem, is heavily connected with the fact that you cannot change an individual. You listen one's story, and try to understand their problem/situation. After that, if he/she/it wants to, you can offer help. On that step, you need to aknowledge the fact that, you can help up to a certain extent, and you cannot change him/her/it. You cannot enforce your rules to them or you must not feel bad in case they fail. However, you may change your viewpoint and try a different approach so as to aid this individual
@MissionNeetPgMarch
2 жыл бұрын
My roommate never closes the cupboard which is located right infront of my bed. I have an sort of ocd of having doors closed. I've told her it bothers me but she doesn't listen so now I've just let it be. Her cupboard is open most of the time. Just 4 months more that I have with her before college ends and I'm kinda glad.
@filthycasual6118
2 жыл бұрын
So, how am I supposed to react to people sharing their problems with me? I don't try to one-up their problems, but I also tend to bring up comparable problems I have to try and relate. Like "hey, we're both in the same boat! How 'bout that?". If someone doesn't want anything from me, why get me involved? These people make it very clear that they don't want advice, support, comfort, or instruction. And since the comments section is flooded with advice, here's another one. "A life without strife is wasted. If you make problems for yourself, you'll succeed. If others make problems for you, that's life. If you make problems for others, you'll fail."
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
I think sharing your experiences is ok! It only gets weird if you’re trying to hint that their problems aren’t valid. A pretty safe response if you don’t know what to say would be like “sorry you’re going through this. Let me know if there’s anything I can do”
@yh3428
2 жыл бұрын
Let go of the melodrama or ego within. Accept that life will throw us curve balls and embrace it. In reality, we cannot control the outsidè world. Happiness has to come from within. The ability to quiet your mind and have control is the essence of a good life.
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
Self-regulation is super important, especially in the context of emotions. I think this is easier said than done sometimes though. Nonetheless still important!
@maryjanewesterlund9958
2 жыл бұрын
Your points are on target insights. You’re beautifully articulate.
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
A lot of it is editing 😌 thank you MJ!!
@smilemydeer8125
2 жыл бұрын
I can tell you are very considerate person. I also hate it when ppl try to diminish my problems. But I also realize that I am too negative at times. Been trying to change this however I feel like I'm creaking a fake persona even if it does keep everyone else happy.
@sabbiewabbiewasabi
2 жыл бұрын
Agree with your point about agreeableness had to learnt that the hard way having been stepped over by my ex and my teammates. Your point about the “nice guy/girl” narrative is not always nice rings true. Nobody likes getting their boundaries violated, one might try to tolerate 100 times but there comes a point where enough is enough. Everything explode, chaos unleased and here is the start of your own villain origin story 🤡
@samlancaster5834
2 жыл бұрын
This is an outstanding video, Sam. There is so much great information here, examples presented in very relatable situations. Thank you!!!
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
Glad you liked it Sam!
@Hugo-hghdesignstudio
2 жыл бұрын
This is really helpful, I appreciated it!
@alexbg4677
2 жыл бұрын
Facts, facts, facts 👏🏼🙌🏼
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
🎉
@espadakillar
2 жыл бұрын
Thinking about cutting family ties cause of this. Appreciate the input
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
Best of luck no matter what happens 🙏
@BudsFreedomJourney
2 жыл бұрын
Love this video. Very well done and you make some great points.
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
Woohoo thanks Bud!
@edmundjadol8654
2 жыл бұрын
Kuyaaaaaaaaaa Sam! Kuya Saaaaaaaaaaam! I would like to believe I am on the healthy medium hahaha. I use my head and agree or disagree based on my value system and the argument presented by the person I am talking to which is of course influenced by my own bias hehe. Your story about charlotte made me pause and think if you (or I in that situation) could have done something better but I think its the best outcome because being flooded by negativity particularly in todays chaotic world is the worst experience to endure. Still, you are absolutely correct that appreciating someone else point of view and behavior based on their own set of experiences (and not our own) allows us to understand people better and ultimately for us to make better decisions in the future. This is a greaaaat video!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!! Merry Christmas!!! Hope you enjoy the holidays!! Hope in the next video we get to see how you spend the holidays kuyaaaaaaa!!!!
@monamai8660
2 жыл бұрын
Really good vid 👍 thank you for sharing
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for watching!
@wamyy5
2 жыл бұрын
LOL "Well, I walk on my feet. I'll take that L"
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
I’ll do it!
@touchyipad6200
2 жыл бұрын
Really great and insightful video Thank you very much for sharing your thought I agree that boundaries is really important and we cannot expect to change someone Ps. Like your role play part XD
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
😏
@theiconsean
2 жыл бұрын
Great Video! Subbed
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
Welcome!
@ehturtleninjas
2 жыл бұрын
!!!
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
!!!
@letechnicaljames
2 жыл бұрын
Extra chicken nuggets...got it.
@SamLui
2 жыл бұрын
Nom nom who has the best nuggets??
@letechnicaljames
2 жыл бұрын
@@SamLui 1. CFA 2. McD based on 20 piece meal deal value package. 3. Idk.
Пікірлер: 53