Hey Ryan, I’m a solitary girl myself. I have a new cat named Boba and I’m still working on overcoming unhealthy attachments. Congratulations on your graduation. I hope you keep your spunk in the medical world.
@ryanliberty
7 ай бұрын
Hi Ashley and Boba! I'm not sure that the medical world is ready for my brand of spunk! 😅 As you work through attachment stuff remember that no one is "secure" all of the time. It's normal for all of us to drift in and out of different attachment patterns.
@Aidan-kt2pz
6 ай бұрын
So I relate to so much of what you’re saying. This is what’s going on for me: - I also live alone in a very expensive city and many hours (and expensive flights!) from my family. - work and work colleagues consume too much of my life, especially because I’m alone - I don’t know your age, but I’m early 30s and covid hit during my last break up (late 20s) and I do wonder if it robbed me of my “prime” years😂 😭 - I’m battling with how I make peace with this being the test of my life (spinster, too far from my family / parents) - I left therapy and antidepressants ~2 years ago and although it was good for the time (last breakup) I don’t think I’ll get much from going back to it - I am much less self punishing than I used to be (I think ageing helps) and I’ve learned (though it sounds sad) to not rely on other people to help me with my mental health (when I’m in very dark patches - they usually disappoint!) Sorry this is so long! Am sure I’ll have more to add but hope these help in terms of topics! Good luck and so much kudos again to changing career paths and going into the medical side xxx
@lharestad6804
7 ай бұрын
You helped me a lot during a difficult marriage breakup several years ago. Thanks Ryan!
@ryanliberty
7 ай бұрын
That's awesome! So often I would put these videos out just because I was figuring things out for myself and wanted to share it without really knowing what kind of effect I would have on people. How do you feel about where you are now?
@lharestad6804
7 ай бұрын
All good now Ryan, thanks. All the best to you.@@ryanliberty
@Electrionizer
7 ай бұрын
Hey. Welcome back broski. Always enjoyed your videos. Glad you're doing well. I, also, live a very solitary existence. I live alone with my dog out in the middle of nowhere. I have been trying my hand at making youtube videos but getting kinda tired of it. I'm disabled so i'm not working and after 3 years of waiting, not sure if i will actually be awarded my ssi. I may have to sell all my property and move closer to civilization so I have an actual way to get to a job, any job, just to be able to survive. But, overall, i am doing well. Congrats on those music purchases you made. Should be lots of fun for you. Keep in touch.
@ryanliberty
7 ай бұрын
Wow that's a challenging situation for sure! I'm glad to hear you're doing well despite everything. Do you think you're ready to sell things and make that move?
@Electrionizer
7 ай бұрын
Thanks brother. It's nice to know there are others out there who can relate with extreme solitude. I'm going to play the waiting game as long as I am able to continue surviving and if/when there are no other options left then i am prepared to sell it all.
@ryanliberty
6 ай бұрын
Sounds like a good plan. Wishing you luck!
@elysianfibres1642
5 ай бұрын
I missed you :) About your language learning - I can recommend Anki for learning and retaining vocabulary. I earn my living as a translator. I translate Czech and German to English, and I find Anki great for memorising vocab. It's also great for memorising drug names, classes, symptoms, etc. I believe it's very popular among medical students. I'm also a gay musician and a recent health science graduate, and I so wish I lived in New York right now! :D
@Authentistic-ism
7 ай бұрын
Great to see you again, I remember getting through some tough times before the pandemic with your channel
@MrsBridgette2012
Ай бұрын
When you talked about wanting someone to share things with, a therapist sounds like a good idea. The reason I say that is because I’m married and I’m here because I feel all alone. My spouse is only interested in me listening, my ideas or thoughts are just for me to hang on to. Life is a puzzle for sure.
@Authentistic-ism
7 ай бұрын
So an update on what i'm up to. Four or five years ago I was struggling with addiction, homelessness, and undiagnosed autism. Now I've sobered up, gotten my official diagnosis, also a diagnosis of brain injury from domestic violence incident during those times. Things were bad and I probably left you a lot of embarassing comments while I was on drugs. Now I have had my disability case approved, I don't have to work anymore, and I have received housing assistance and social worker case management and medicaid. Things are super great, I have never been able to afford to live alone before and I love it. It's soo good for my mental health even though I'm poor forever I don't have to worry about getting along with coworkers, housemates, etc who are being ableist and mysogynistic.
@ryanliberty
7 ай бұрын
Wow! What a big change! Congratulations on getting sober, getting a diagnosis, and your new living situation. It sounds like you've been putting in a lot of work to get to a better place and I'm happy that it's paying off. Don't worry about any embarrassing comments because I'm sure that if I saw them I don't even remember them! I have enough of my own from the past few years to be embarrassed over 😳
@rainbowgirljules
6 ай бұрын
♥
@guidedbysunshine333
7 ай бұрын
So great to hear from you. Thank you for the update and your presence is always a blessing! ❤️
@ryanliberty
7 ай бұрын
Thank you! You're a blessing for me as well!
@Aidan-kt2pz
6 ай бұрын
Great to see you back. You’re helping so many. Sending love and light ❤
@rosanne411
7 ай бұрын
Hii Ryan, nice to see you and to get this update! I’m also working and doing therapy to better my relationships in my life and with myself. I love that you have a cat, I also want to have a cat myself this year! It’s kind of my new year’s resolution. 🤗❤️
@ryanliberty
7 ай бұрын
Hi! I hope you are able to get a cat. Mine brings so much wonderful companionship to my life every day. How are you finding therapy to be?
@rosanne411
6 ай бұрын
@@ryanliberty Yes therapy is very nice, i’ve been doing it for 1,5 year now and I’m almost done. I feel much more connected with my emotions so that is a good thing :).
@ryanliberty
6 ай бұрын
That's awesome! 😁
@rainbowgirljules
6 ай бұрын
Cats are wonderfully independent, as I'm sure you'll know! They come to us when they need us but we're not allowed to do the same. Think of a cat like the classic dismissive-avoidant, and then things will work out just grand! Best wishes to you and your future feline friend, Rosanne, from Julia the human and Bella the cat. xx
@katec9893
5 ай бұрын
Hi Ryan, I've only just found your channel through your video on invalidation. I thought you were a therapist as you had such a good understanding of it and explained it with clarity and compassion. I think you'll be brilliant in healthcare and if it's not mental health you're specialising in maybe you could do that in future if it interests you. I'm not doing so good myself, I'm feeling v depressed due to my cat dying, my volunteer groups closed down, my rent increased, bills increases and I'm very isolated. I find it hard to connect to people due to my depression but the isolation makes me feel more depressed. Anyway I'm glad to have found your channel and I wish you much success with your career and I hope you keep creating videos.
@user-cq2nv4eo5l
3 ай бұрын
Hi Ryan, my recent goal is to try dealing with my avoidance issue and I just came across with your channel. Your videos are awesome and I'm so glad to hear about what you are up to. I am now studying abroad and I do too spend most of my time alone so it really sounds great that you are working on different stuffs like making music to make life looks more fun. I wish you success on the medical program and looking forward to more updates :)
@star-cursed
5 ай бұрын
Hey one thing that helped me a lot with German is learning about the vowel and constant shifts, and just etymology in general. Like for example Stein, Heim, Ein in german is stone, home, one in English (e moves to end of word and i becomes o). Doesnt work for everything because sometimes the meaning of the word changed as well, but i still find it v helpful for vocabulary.
@katec9893
5 ай бұрын
Also I noticed the same thing when I tried dating apps in the past, most people on there were not good people except for a small percentage. And like you say then there can be attraction and compatibility issues. I hope soon humans move away from app dating back to in person dating, I think it's much healthier.
@jperera3296
7 ай бұрын
Hey! Its so nice to see you again! You're doing a great job!
@ryanliberty
7 ай бұрын
Thank you! What's going on for you if you don't mind me asking?
@jperera3296
7 ай бұрын
@ryanliberty life! I've moved to a new state, got a promotion, battled depression, been in therapy...been working on getting to know and accept my entire self. Oh...even got a cat!
@ryanliberty
6 ай бұрын
Those are some big changes! Keep working at it - it's worth it! 🐱
@stephanieangelia1421
7 ай бұрын
OMG... i have been watching you for like 6 years now. I tried to friend you on facebook but couldnt find you...
@user-rv7gd4fo6j
7 ай бұрын
Hallo Ryan, how nice to see you again! I'm also fed up with dating apps after using them on and off for years. I wonder if it's the apps or if we are just too picky or that being in a relationship is just not what is best for some people, or...?
@ryanliberty
7 ай бұрын
I've asked myself that same question many times. I'm happy enough being single so it wouldn't be the worst thing for me. But it's human nature to want to connect with others. However... these dating apps attract all kinds of "interesting" humans. Personally, I do believe that I'm picky but I don't think that's a bad thing. Experience has taught me that if I want to be happy I have to be discerning in who I spend my time with. Don't you agree?
@user-rv7gd4fo6j
6 ай бұрын
@@ryanliberty Yes of course we should be. Still I see friends and family that are in happy relationships being more accepting of their partners annoying or disappointing traits than I think I could be. And maybe I'm just too happy being single to sacrifice my peace of mind. Therefore I sometimes think that some people's preference may be to not be in a relationship. We're always told and shown in media that the ideal for all people is to be in a loving relationship. But maybe the ideal for some is to be single. And after ive spent quite a few years on dating apps, and I've done some speed dating events, without good results, I wonder how it could be the fault of the apps...? There are so many possibilities in finding a person through apps; we can filter people based on what we like to see in a partner, and all kind of people are on dating apps; not just weird ones. I cannot really think of other, better possibilities to find a good match. Can you? I am still the constant factor in all the interactions with people i talk to on apps or speed dates, and I always end up happiest on my own. So maybe that's what I'm supposed to be.
@ryanliberty
6 ай бұрын
I definitely think there's nothing wrong with choosing to be single. I'm actually okay and happy with being single myself. But I wouldn't mind someone else entering my life... Personally I do blame the apps. When you meet someone organically you don't have access to this strange, limited set of information that the apps feed us about people. You're forced to judge them without really getting a true sense for who they are. You also have to filter through people one by one, when in person you could glance around a room and have an immediate sense of who you're interested in. I also feel that apps attract people who wouldn't normally put in the effort to actually form a relationship with someone. So you get people who are deceptive, unkind, uncaring, unkempt, etc. As for an alternative.. I'm not sure what the best solution is in this modern environment we've created. People are apprehensive about meeting at work, which is where people used to meet. Social gatherings have declined since "social" media took over. Dating has been very rigidly formalized and people don't/can't have fun and enjoy it like they used to. For me, I'm okay with meeting people here and there as I go through life and if a spark lights up then so be it...
@user-rv7gd4fo6j
6 ай бұрын
@@ryanliberty Thanks for your further explanation. I hadn't thought about those points, but yes, I agree with all of your arguments. It's very difficult to judge a profile in an app by the little information it gives me, whereas irl i judge people on, for example, how they interact with me and others; that's information that a profile in an app does not provide. It's such hard work to find a good match through those apps, and it usually disappoints. I've given up on them a few months ago, and I agree with my decision. But at the same time it feels that, with that, I've given up the opportunity to meet a partner. As there is not really an alternative (as I know of), apart from every now and then meeting a new person in the wild, who is usually in a relationship or just not that interesting. I appreciate hearing your view on this. Its very interesting; it makes me see things from a different perspective, which gives me energy. So thanks a lot!
@ryanliberty
6 ай бұрын
I want to offer another take here as this is something I've thought about a lot in my own life... At least where I live, economically it's become harder for large groups of people to survive day to day. If you have to work two jobs, or provide for one or multiple dependents, or have barriers like lack of transportation, you won't be available to the dating pool. Dating has historically been reserved for people who have the time and money to enjoy leisure and experience people at social gatherings. One of the reasons that people turn to apps in the first place is that they don't have time to gamble on regularly going out to socialize and hope that eventually there will be a connection with someone. I'm old enough to remember life before the Internet and social media, and there were way more places that people would go out and gather (speaking as someone from the USA). People also weren't yet sucked completely dry by mega corporations and corrupt government officials. So I've learned to rethink being single as less of some kind of personal failure and more of a result of the many things about modern life that can make it unbearable for some of us. Given all that, what's the solution? Personally I'm trying to work to get myself to a place where I do have enough time and money (what a dream they would be!) to comfortably socialize. I don't even think that will magically change things but I think it will help. I've also been bouncing around in my head the idea of simply creating opportunities for social connection here and there in my everyday life. I'm definitely not a master of this and I have doubts that I'll even get anywhere with it, but I do let it swirl around in my head as I go about my day in hopes that it will encourage me to connect with people. I do think that the best we can aim for is to be happy as we are as individuals. Surely if we're going to meet a good partner, that is what will attract them to us.
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