Creep wasn't worth my time or energy Best revenge is living well. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Be strong everyone. This empath sends you love and light.
@eyeamme1917
5 жыл бұрын
I've spent the better part of 18 years trying to figure him out, help him, be supportive and loyal and strong and selfless, genuinely believing we could improve together. I've spend years confused, flip flopping, desperately trying to identify and articulate what the underlying issue is. I was introduced to the term "narcissist" and all that it entails just a few months ago and it's like someone turned on a light. It's an odd feeling when all these strangers on the internet seem to have been living a life near identical to mine and are able to nail down exactly what's been happening. I feel devastated, betrayed, hopeless, and also sort of empowered. It's been 18 years of abuse and pure mind fuckery. It turns out I'm not imaging things, I'm not too sensitive, I wasn't being unreasonable or hard to please, and I'm NOT responsible for his abusive behavior. It's all real. It always has been and it's not ok. He KNOWS exactly what he's doing when he suddenly declares that he needs help right as I'm trying to leave and then, never gets it. He KNOWS what he's doing when he turns back into the man I married only long enough to reel me back in. He knows the cycle. He knows he'll repeat the same crap days later. It's completely within his control to stop but he chooses not to. The emotional withdrawl and explosive anger are tactics...I was right, he's not just going through something, he really doesn't empathize. He *admits* he doesn't think about me or our relationship ffs. He says it's just not in him or he's too busy...that's probably the only honest thing he's ever said to me. It's not in him to really love or empathize. The pleading for me to stay is an act. The words "I love you" are empty to him. Jesus.... something is very very wrong with me to have stuck around this long. 18 years and 2 years dating before that. 20 YEARS GONE. What the hell is wrong with me?! This past five years or so, I thought I was protecting my kids from dealing with his rage alone during visits but was I or was I just enabling him? Was I playing right into his mind game? Is he abusive to everyone as a means of exerting control over me? Would he be better to our kids if I ended our marriage? I've chosen to sacrifice absolutely everything/everyone I cared about, everything I had going before, thinking it was the right thing to do. That's my own damn fault of course. It was my own crappy decision that led me here, I just deeply regret not caring for myself... I have nothing but pain to show for it. Ughhhh......No more of this insanity. It's time for me to pick my sorry butt up off the floor, move on, and get better.
@ilovesteakshfhgls
6 жыл бұрын
When I was naive to what he was and how I should respond, I told him that I thought the way that he treated women was damaging and abusive (he had various supply sources and was always on the hunt for more, obsessively so). He replied "I think you are right. I am not meaning to be hurtful but being hurtful none the less". He went on to explain that he had been "abandoned by people he loved and trusted" and that he now kept a distance. I think that he was well rehearsed in telling people just enough of what they wanted to hear so that they would stick around. He said enough to convey a possible understanding of his behaviour but not enough to convey any real empathy or understanding of exactly what this 'hurt' meant. He acknowledged the 'wrong' in his behaviour but didn't 'care'. In every other way, he ticks all of the boxes of a greater narcissist, a sociopath. I think I found him fascinating, because I knew we were wired so differently. I blocked him before he could even discard and now I watch these videos to satisfy my intrigue.
@LP-ko8lb
7 жыл бұрын
I've heard : "You provoked me; You made me do it," " I will no longer accept your claims," You have no proof."
@TheKhat88
6 жыл бұрын
Just met a mid ranger from London whose accent sounds similar to the maker of this video. I let him lovebomb me for two wks after the usual silent treatment, then dumped him and told him he’s a narc which has given him narcissistic injury and he is giving me the silent treatment. Difference is this time I welcome the silence treatment.
@kathyvenne3885
7 жыл бұрын
Their dangerous :( your doomed either way. Run for your life. If you make it out alive it's a miracle.
@tracydutton7577
7 жыл бұрын
amen
@TheQueenOfPhilly
6 жыл бұрын
Kathy Venne i feel that way and Im scared 😔
@casse1458
6 жыл бұрын
Kathy Venne true
@somebodysfalling
7 жыл бұрын
I always find myself wishing I had heard this a bit sooner before trying something treacherous. Thank you for the reminder that feeling a sense of power for figuring them out doesn't lead to any true satisfaction or validation. It only leads to sadness or more mind fucking. With the violent lesser I did eventually learn to accept it, to understand the backlash of calling him the abuser, to sever it, to let him go completely. I stopped wasting time trying to discern anything, only taking comfort in knowing what worked to keep him away and to give me peace. Zero contact for the most part, or only the flat grey rock response when we have to communicate about a family member. Works like a charm. But with the upper mid range, I was still obsessed with needing to pinpoint what makes him tick. I made the mistake of changing from no contact to trying to study him from a far. Letting him think he had control, apologetic for labeling him a psychopath, blaming it on myself being easily triggered due to past experiences. Thinking in that moment that I am safe from his grasp, that he's not violent, that he truly has no power over me, no way to affect me anymore. But that was dangerous. Flirting with disaster. Recognizing the stronger I appear, the more he ups his game. Sincere apologies, peppered with a few real tears, and next thing you know, he's worming back beneath the skin and pulling the heart strings of a teenage love. The alpha when I need him to be, calling me out on my own tactics....or the sweet innocent boy of the past that I have misunderstood and misread. The only "power" I hold is that I am the reminder of his younger glory days as middle age creeps upon him. He was insidiously planting hope along with every well intended jab. It's like watching a snake coil to strike, but you're so mesmerized with that need to know that you stand paralyzed. If I'm manipulating him to learn more, then I'm sinking to his level. If I'm feeding him false information, I'm the liar that he is. If I'm living on guard, I can't be authentic. There is only power in taking myself away, removing me from the equation.
@Dargyful
7 жыл бұрын
Somebody's Falling . He has taught you more than you ever wanted or needed to know but you have definitely passed with flying colours . Well done and I'm very impressed with your insight into his behaviour . You have armed yourself well 👍
@lynnolmsted4698
6 жыл бұрын
There is no way to compete with them. I have experience all three stages in one man. They will go to ANY lengths as absurd and Crazy as they sound when they behave like this, only because they cannot and will not admit responsibility or accountability for their actions. They will not be told that they are wrong about ANYTHING even if you have Prroof and it just happened one minute ago! If they've been called out and you are right, they will just say something like FU, this is WHY we can't get along, you just have to argue about everything, if you would just keep your mouth shut, and STOP arguing with ME, we might be able to have a good time!" Or, " You are stupid, this is WHY you don't get along with your family, and why you stay with that stupid job, and why your roommates don't get along with you, or why, I see so and so... On fact, since you complained about where I was last night, I'm just gping to stay out 2-3,4 more nights, because I don't have to tell you EVERYTHING I'm doing or everywhere I am! You need to learn to stop questioning me about everything... Then maybe I'd spend more time with you. I've told you this for YEARS but you just won't listen! You are just too stupid to get it... I've given you the golden key to this relationship and how we can get along but you're to stubborn and stupid to use it!" There is NO reasoning, no conversation or discussion. Another example: He'll say, while he's gambling on the computer, here's the remote, turn on whatever you want. So I say thx, and turn on KZitem... Next thing He says, " I've told you a million times NO KZitem! No FOX NEWS, NO Music videos and no Documentaries!! I will come back with, but you told me I could watch what I wAnt, and sometimes you're ok with it..." He snaps back at me again and says, "Don't raise your voice in MY house, I've told you a million times to stop telling in my house, you an leave it you want to tell in my house!" "But I'm not telling Scott, Im just saying..." "There you go again, I said stop yelling, and NOW you want to ARGUE with me??!!! Get out, go to your house if you want to tell and argue! I will not live with someone who wants to do this...This is why I see KATHY! She doesn't tell or argue like you do; you are combative and always arguing with me!" This is the craziness and the insanity! Sometimes I leave sometimes I stay and fight out of frustration and he gets furious and in a rage! Then, a few minutes later, he'll be all sweet and act like nothing happened. If I want to talk about how I'm hurt by his attitude, reaction, short temper etc., he'll say that it's my fault for not listen to him, and that he's OVER it, and to move on from the subject. There is NO winning, reasoning or resolutuon, and I have learned that that's their game. They want to create havoc on PURPOSE for fuel and control!! I've got through HELL with him and these types of people on my life!! I've had them as friends and family members!!! Now I understand the lovebombing, devaluing and discard stages...My step mom, 3 boyfriends, a sister, my cousin, 1 nursing school friend, 1 nursing school boyfriend...2 roommates!! Its been mind boggling how someone can love and treat you like you are God's gift to them for years, and then all of a sudden I did something to hurt them, and not on purpose, I apologize but then they deal and then smearing and discarding me like I'm garbage, all over nothing, or maybe, I disagree with something or they start to see that I'm "human" and I'm not good enough for their ego anymore .. No tears from them at all! I just learned about this 2 year's ago, and it has e Plaines ALL the frustration, confusion and IRRATIONALity of these relationships that have hurt me so badly! Ecerything finally makes sense!! However, even with this knowledge, I am still having a hard time leaving my 13 year relationship even though he is emotionally abusing me all the time! Triangulation, insults, demeaning remarks, physical abuse at times, and he always reels me back in when he's nice, or throws me a crumb! I know it's intermittent reinforcement and I'm suffering from Narc abuse syndrome, but I just can't get away because sometimes he's really there for me. My Narc step mom kicked me out of her life after my Dad died. I dislike her to the point of hate, but she has turned my whole family again at me with lies! She's a covert shy narc, and has everybody fooled! Her daughter is the golden child, I am the oldest of us 6 kids and the scapegoat. I called her out on her shit since I was 8 years old, and was protective of my siblings when she acted cruel or sadistic. I was a smart child and she didn't like me calling out the Pink Elephant, so she devalued and discarded me 2 days after I graduated high school. When my Dad was dying, I came back home to help him and dlshe resented me doing that. So she made sure he fell down the day after I told her the worst thing that could happen was that he falls down, and to call 911 and me because I was only 1 mile away... I saw evil in her eyes when I was e plaining it to her, and I thought, oh no!!! I just gave her the idea! Then I thought no, she wouldn't do that... But my gut told me... And I was afraid. The next day she called me after he fell and they didn't call 911 and they minimized his injuries at the ER, no crags, no tests when he had fallen on his FACE!! I was on my way over to the house when my aunt texted me that 911 had been called. They did CPR on my Dad for 20 minutes while I was there and pronounced him DEAD. My stepmom didn't cry. She put everything by the front door that I had brought over for my Dad to be more co.for table and said that I needed to take my stuff with me. 3 months later, I got the trust in the mail, my Dad had made all 6 off his kids a beneficiary, but when he died, my step mom got everything. Then it said when she dies, every thing goes to her 3 kids, and then on the last 2 pages, the document stated that "for reasons good and proper, we are intentionally omitting the kids that were from my father's previous marriage, even though she raised us since we were little girls. One of my full sister's was only 5 years old. That's when her kids had to chose between their mother or ME. They of course chose her because she might delete them from the trust too if they went against her. So, no one understands what happened before my Dad died... My step mom smeared me before I had a chance to talk to them. They know I'm livid about the trust and how she manipulated my Dad to sign that crap. He was too sick to fight. She is the most evil person I know!!! She covertly evil!! So, she has made me out to be crazy, unstable because she doesn't want for me to tell everyone what really happened! So I am estranged from EVERYONE in my family. I have no kids, no husband, but I have a Narc boyfriend that I can't let go of because he's the only one close to me WHO IS. I have friends, but I work in nursing and I'm very busy. Narcissism has ruined my life in so many ways!! Now I know why counseling never helped me feel better! I'm not giving up, I'm just frustrated" angry and want to tell my stepmother exactly what I think of her!!! Since the trust happened, I will not see or talk to her. Its as if I hate every e in my family for falking for her BS, and not coming to my defense and believing ME. No one knows about what I know. I tried sending videos but no one responds. They just all think I'm a hot head, or overly sensitive or just plain nuts! I'm not, I truly think they don't not how to handle my knowledge and I intelligence, and are intimidated by heavy subjects. For them to admit that I'm right, would disturb their "perfect life" and turn their world upside down... Thanks for listening. Sorry for the typos!
@carlyellison8498
7 жыл бұрын
Only a codependent tells a narcissist anything! Stay quiet and vanquish them!
@reneeb8331
7 жыл бұрын
Carly Ellison agreed. No contact, no contact, no contact.
@JohnDoe-gq3tm
6 жыл бұрын
My Narc father called me to ask why I had gone No Contact with him. Yet he wouldn't stop talking long enough for me to even explain. He was panicking and saying anything that came to mind to try to change mine. He even claimed I had some how been brainwashed. Once he realized he wouldn't change my mind he became angry and condescending. He asked what he was suppose to tell the rest of the family - His immediate concern was his reputation. He didn't call to understand why I had gone No Contact. Rather simply to hoover me back into contact. And when that didn't work there was no need for him to be civil towards me anymore. I remember telling my uncle during my teenage years that I didn't believe my father loved me. I was right.
@evamcinnis7992
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you! Blessings
@413riley
6 жыл бұрын
I fully aware that you are absolutely correct. But knowledge is useless if it isn't applied. Keeping my mouth shut is hardest thing I have ever tried to do in my entire life.
@SophieBird07
5 жыл бұрын
I’ve had joy of knowing all three types: Greater: “I took that woman on a cruise to teach you a greater appreciation of me.” Mid: “You are not making any sense. I am the peacekeeper of this family.” “It simply doesn’t make sense for someone to stay where they aren’t happy. I never complain about you.”(This one even had my narc mother on his side “other women have it worse, he doesn’t drink or beat you” (not that she had ever experienced such behavior). He comes home every night doesn’t he? But I raised 4 kids alone while he became star employee and completely ignored his family. I nearly had a breakdown with this one. No one ever got to see his other side. Lesser: takes my car and goes no contact for hours, once for 3 days, “what? You don’t need it. Where do you ever go? ”Then returns with empty tank: “Shut up. I don’t want to fight. When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.” (Spits in face). But this last time I said “it won’t happen again”, and cut all ties. Luckily I have my own place to return to. Life is too short, to waste time with fools. It took me way too long to learn though. But I wasn’t used to thinking I mattered. It was all about easing life for everyone else.
@ummywashir364
5 жыл бұрын
When u don’t really care anymore and focus on urself.(a narcissist has NO chance)
@Rebecca20239
7 жыл бұрын
don't tell them they are abuser's..show them they are. Expose thier ass...this tactic requires special timing tho. Wait out the smear campaign, create strong no contact, let yourself heal in time and learn their game. When all is quiet, expose their behaviors...it works and they run away with their demon tail between their legs .
@KnowingtheNarcissist
7 жыл бұрын
There is considerable merit in what you write. The key factors are to know which type of narcissist you are dealing with, gauge whether the outcome is worth your involvement and as you state, timing is key also.
@susannec659
7 жыл бұрын
Rebecca S I think you are absolutely right, because if you're in this situation long enough as a target, you know you have nothing to lose. There is a freedom in this feeling. This is when you go all out full boar.
@DC-hb9zb
7 жыл бұрын
How do I show them?
@reneeb8331
7 жыл бұрын
Rebecca S bingo
@lucendarose4420
7 жыл бұрын
Rebecca S I did so in such a cruel way he recently changed his number and and i haven't heard from him... Surely, he's busy with another victim. His live in girlfriend (main source of supply) contacted me but I'm sure she did this thinking it is me he is still seeing.. He lied out his az that he was single and by the time my eyes open to realize what he had done i was already head over heels... They are so dangerous! I rocked his world upside down!!!! ... I gave him what individuals like that deserve... He kept trying to come back with lies but that's because he wants revenge... Well, those days are over... Please, if you are in a new relationship don't hand over your trust right away. My case is different. I know him since childhood and we were sweethearts in our younger days.. We have a lifelong history but i never thought in a million years he had turned out this way. .. Don't let then use your electronic devices like pc, tabs& phones. They stalk and will incriminate your photos & information and steal. Take care.
@irishdeetalks
6 жыл бұрын
This has just clairified so much for me. I could never understand why he would never challenge anything I put to him 'ie' 'your'e being abusive, your'e constantly telling lies. He would either call me crazy and run away for a few days, Giving me the silent treatment. Come home a few days later as if nothing had happened. Sorry, But if I was accused of being abusive 'I would want to know how and what lies I told. That action speaks volumes in itself.
@irishdeetalks
6 жыл бұрын
O btw, I cheated on him & he just blurted this out in mid argument. A few minutes after all was fine. EH HELLO!!!! Thought I just cheated on you with your BF, Now everything is ok. If I thought in anyway he had cheated on me, especailey with my best friend, I wouldn't be acting as if nothing happened. Sick fuckers 'sorry for the language
@nancy3648ify
5 жыл бұрын
Exactly as you described
@AmaindeJH
7 жыл бұрын
She is a greater. I did call her out right before the discard. We recently crossed paths unexpectedly for the first time in 7 months. I felt like my heart might stop and like I might throw up and pass out. But I continued on with my plans for the day. She saw me. Recognized me. Took a step toward me. Ran away. I laughed. Then I cried. I cried more than I laughed. My heart is still shattered. But I got to her. I wounded her. She burned me badly, but I managed to get some scorching blows in on my way out that still smart on sight of me. I saw fear flit across her features before she could stop it. I hope every time she commences her dirty work with someone new, that wound hurts all over again. So that she never forgets. I cracked her armour. Let the arrows fly. Left scars behind. Now she knows how we all feel. On behalf of all of us empaths who have fallen prey to her and those like her: May it never ever heal. May the memory of shameful exposure rob her of all her obscene pleasures. May terror fill her heart every time her eyes penetrate the eyes of another. May she fear what she sees looking back at her. May she somehow see herself. May she bleed ten times as profusely as she has bled us, and may each action she takes against us tear those wounds open again and again. Until she has paid drop for drop. May she feel the pain she has inflicted on us, through the experience of having it handed back to her. In this way, may she bleed herself stone cold. And would that I could watch it happen.
@joec1212
5 жыл бұрын
I know it hurts, it hurts worse when they are attractive. Understand that many of them were mentally abused as a child, and sometimes sexually. They are just hurt people that need to submit to our creator and try and heal themselves. They wake up in a jail cell and a duality of a life. I pray for them, their children and their victims. Their are so many of them out there it's nice to know what you're dealing with and usually exposes things in us we need to fix. If we cannot forgive them for their transgressions. How can we expect our creator to forgive us. I am sure I would be more bitter if I caught an STD, or if I had kids with one, or had a nasty divorce.
@shannond3351
7 жыл бұрын
Mind fuckery at its finest.
@8bitshay298
5 жыл бұрын
😭😭😭
@ladyshorty6989
5 жыл бұрын
INDEED. SADLY AND PATHETICALLY TRUE
@tannopk
6 жыл бұрын
If you date more than one of these people, what do you think the issue is? I’m just curious if anyone has done the soul-searching to figure it out I thought I had figured it out, and I stepped into a landmine again The difference was, when I saw it I jumped out quick My lesson was this, you have to take TIME with people, but if you are impatient, you are really gambling, you have to really test to see if people back up what they say, and if they are who they are selling to you!!!!
@bonnielee7134
6 жыл бұрын
Perhaps watch the videos on empathy or codependents. It could be that you were raised in a home that crossed boundaries.
@413riley
6 жыл бұрын
I'm absolutely responsible for my situation, but I was raised by an abusive drug addict. In my teens I was put on the foster system. Long story short, my emotional foundation was never developed. My concept of a healthy give and take was perverted by my childhood experiences. To this day I have no concept of emotional security and I often try to understand what confidence must feel like... I simply cannot grasp the concept. For 20 yeard I believed I had no right to have any needs met and getting upset about was another example of my selfishness. Mentioning my accomplishments always resulted in some sort of carefully crafted slight that hit right at the heart of my deep rooted insecurities. That would have the desired effect of making doubt the achievement and making me feel guilty for thinking I did something well in the first place. Including marriage and financial contributions just to pay the bills all of which are in my name. I had to start recording conversations because I didn't trust my own memory, which by the way, is freakishly acute in every other area of my life. He loves to take a sliver of what I say to defend myself and attack it so as to deflect from my original grievance. Re-enforcing all of this is the fact that everyone likes him. He personable and smart and helpful to a fault. He is very smart and people praise his abilities all the time. At home he is suddenly incapable of accomplishing the simplest task. There are a 1000 excuses and zero solutions, and every excuse will ultimately lead back to his behavior is my fault. It has taken me 2 decades to see the manipulation. When I realized what he is the sensation was indescribable. The behaviors and words used in these videos perfectly mirror what happens. Sometimes word for word. So yes. It is me, but that is a simplistic answer to an extremely complex and long-term cycle of emotional abuse.
@Authentistic-ism
6 жыл бұрын
for me it's this idea that I don't deserve better unless I can "earn" it through hard work, self sacrifice, and suffering. of course nobody truly worth all that would be interested in somebody like me at the outset, so every relationship starts as if it's my last chance and I'll take what I can get, then phase 2 begins. I work my ass off and study obsessively and practice risky experiments and drain myself of that pesky survival instinct (hoping to negotiate them to improve and later to simply participate at all in our relationship repair...taking it all on myself the less they empathize...still hoping they'll feel sorry for me if I push myself further toward the noble aim of healthy relating collaboratively... and then changing and denying myself to suit them entirely, when that fails, as a coping tool to pity myself ....but end up feeling so worthless and inferior to them who I first felt were not particularly attractive or competent for me inspite of my original low self esteem) then I crash and burn, run away, and start over. self esteem doesn't develop if I stop dating. I am so lonely and need validation...another one finds me just in time to make me think he is finally the one all myt previous mistakes and damage are in trade for. the one who will work with me this time before we wind up working against each other or me a slave.
@angieland2856
7 жыл бұрын
I am a primary source of a mid ranger. This is right on point. My mid ranger doesnt use physical means but does everything else. I also would like to add that mid rangers use rational verbal manipulation tactics of the situation to justisfy there actions of abuse.. meaning they "act" as if it was all a misunderstanding on the victim's part as we just did not understand what they meant or like mine likes to use I have "selective hearing" and then give some excuse or rationale as to why he did what he did because I misunderstood the situation.. smh 18 years and I know him better than he knows himself. Silent treatment is hos weapon of choice and that doesnt even bother me anymore. I see him as pathetic now.. he thinks he is so smart and truly he is...but so am I 😊😊😊 We are not together but we have 2 children.. and I know I will always be his primary source until I go no contact.. i cant wait😁
@Femininelovevibes
7 жыл бұрын
Angie Land oh my God ! Mine says misunderstanding.. he has also said selective memory! That I misunderstand or misunderstand whatever nonsense. A cover up I suppose... I've been on and off for three years. Could you help me understand how you handle all of this. I've never met anyone and strange as him. He comes and goes loves/pushes away. How did you manage 18 years ?!
@denisedevoto2834
5 жыл бұрын
Mine used to say, “that is your perception”. I am divorced now, and can’t believe that I feel happy every day. I spent a lifetime feeling sad every day, and thought that was normal. Get out as fast as you can, I was married to mine for 18 miserable years. Life is too short.
@Sunshine14440
5 жыл бұрын
my narcissus psychopath found another victim and only then completely behind me. But trying to put pressure on me, refusing to communicate with our two children and help. But I think this is a much better way out of the situation, because his sick brain can cripple their souls completely. my experiment with him lasted 22 years
@lynblisso2880
7 жыл бұрын
I am an empath who went full supernova after 18yrs of shit from my mother inlaw. I was nothing but nice kind and loving. I realize now she hated it and was resentful of me. She was a covert and would try to instigate drama all the time and hated my no nonsense happy approach to life. She would say "We all yell here, so you can get rid of your niceness". I snapped like never before and let out a tirade of high volume facts as to me finally working out just what she'd been playing at. She was turning my children against us to create her more fuel. Funny thing is, fuck it was good. I did get rid of my niceness, i did yell. Only for her, like a bomb i blew up in that 70 yr olds evil face HAHAHA . When my tirade was over i asked her a question pertaining to facts (why did you say to my girls "i am a bitch you dont come near me do you" -the guilt manipulation tactic on children.) She just stared an evil stare like a deer in headlights but at the same time like she wanted me dead. A woman who would never shut the fuck up ever to micromanage everything and everyone ...... couldnt say a god damn word. Best feeling in the world🤣
@escaflowne152
6 жыл бұрын
i know how it feels nice, i exploded over a narc who didnt respected me, but in the end, its exactly that drama that they wanted and needed, they want to alter ur peace, think today would be better if i didnt let the narc tease me out of my acting better than him
@brittnierene03
6 жыл бұрын
Lyn Blisso I am an Empath as well =) my story is soo very much the same. I have a narcissistic mother in law to be she as well hated my kindness ad niceness lol. As well as my mother is narcissistic and sue would constantly get a fued going between me and my brothers. Unfortunately surrounded by narcissism i still plan on moving away from at least the family lol. You have to protect yourself♡♡♡ love and Light♡♡
@cheche9528
6 жыл бұрын
Perfect described my ex husband! Word by word like just came out his mouth. You are truly narcissistic expert 👏
@MiriamMonroe
5 жыл бұрын
He will gaslight you and tell you you're crazy that's what happens. The best thing to do is to keep completely silent and leave without a word and never look back. I can take a lot of abuse but when I saw my little boy flying across the living room like a football, I knew I had to get out that day.🕊️
@pam164
7 жыл бұрын
My ex narc husband is a Lesser totally violent and had to be in control at all times. My ex boyfriend midranger and ex boyfriend before that i think greater bloody hell ive had 3!! But no more thanks to you HG i know what to look for thankyou.
@JohnDoe-gq3tm
6 жыл бұрын
I've encountered three Narcissists in romance with no exceptions. Though I would go years in between dating and spend nearly all of my time alone - I wasn't truly happy alone and desperately craved companionship. So when I finally did meet someone who seemed kind and genuinely interested in me I'd get utterly hooked. They're mind games didn't help either of course =)
@His2777
5 жыл бұрын
Bananarista 1.0 Very passive aggressive, judgmental comments. Hindsight is 20-20 and 100% of narc victims are painfully aware of this.
@misstmemrs
6 жыл бұрын
They respond with logical fallacies.
@MH-yd9he
6 жыл бұрын
I can’t tell what kind of narcissist I was dealing with. I can see him in the descriptions of the lesser, mid range and greater narcissists.
@netrap9937
6 жыл бұрын
Me too I'm no contact now but same he was very physically n verbally abusive
@kimwawalker6818
6 жыл бұрын
Use of physical abuse automatically puts them in the lesser class. Mid-rangers and greaters (almost) never use physical abuse.
@thenewcleopatra
6 жыл бұрын
Oh my Goodness. Well this explains a lot. I've heard all the excuses/ responses/ reactions from the Narcissist... I'd resort to logic, empathy, mirroring, exploiting and yet the cycle repeated. The "demon inside me" one worked on me quite a bit though 😂 Im just glad I can feel the entire spectrum of emotion and that I am rising up.. I almost lost my empathy just through mitosis from exposure to this 'abuse'
@pauladsilva9374
6 жыл бұрын
it never acknowledged the abuse....it lives in denial...it's denial doesn't change my reality or my truth....it only told me ....I made him do it...😬😡😠😠😠
@netrap9937
6 жыл бұрын
My ex a narc said the same
@DeviShaktiUni
6 жыл бұрын
"I'm sorry, YOU misunderstood me !"
@christinemiller6566
7 жыл бұрын
I went off on my covert narc husband, he just looked at me and walked off. Afterwards I realized I just gave him a sufficient amount of fuel. Stupid me.
@susanpeters3341
6 жыл бұрын
Christine Miller Be careful of losing your real self and becoming a copy of him. Anger, rage.. You may want to plan your exit as soon as possible, for he will get worse. Don’t tell him anything. Not a word!’
@lisalioness4683
7 жыл бұрын
Absolutely unbelievable!!! I finally have an answer to my "madness", my miserable 15 years of marriage to this man who turned me into an enraged frustrated Labrador bitch. What the hell should I do?
@Theinsomniac826
7 жыл бұрын
Lisa Lioness divorce, no contact
@reneeb8331
7 жыл бұрын
No contact, no contact, no contact.
@jessicabates1223
7 жыл бұрын
Lisa- GET OUT !!! No contact. Longer you stay the longer your recovery will be.Dont put yourself through it ..
@susanpeters3341
6 жыл бұрын
Lisa Lioness First set up a plan to exit. Don’t tell him or even hint at leaving. If he hurts you call the PD., he will be on record.. The victim turns into a narcissist eventually. (Anger, rage) Get control of your emotions. Everybody sees him as calm and collected.,. He wants you to look crazy to others, so do what’s needed in a “calm matter.” My reply is a bit scattered, but I hope that it will help. Tell him nothing. Remain calm if you need to call cops. Set up a plan and exit!
@reandruzzi
7 жыл бұрын
Your videos saved me, and continue to do so ❤❤❤
@tenerifetimes
7 жыл бұрын
Why doesn't the Greater resort to physical abuse. Is it bcs he knows this is the last nail in his coffin, providing evidence the victim needs to expose the tape worm that's been living inside her for the past 20+ years. Thanks HG, as always you have offered insider info for us to rationalise.
@susannec659
7 жыл бұрын
Yes HG, thanks! I don't want to miss a word
@amandacarlsson3587
6 жыл бұрын
i really must thank you so much for your videos! they have really helped me understand what happened
@KnowingtheNarcissist
6 жыл бұрын
You are welcome Amanda.
@antiochiaadtaurum3786
5 жыл бұрын
In explaining a greater Narcissist as such it gives the impression that the chap knows what he is about - when he in fact is digging his own grave over the long-term, no?
@PatmanAndTheScoobies
4 жыл бұрын
I confronted the latest narcissist in my life last week. I knew how he'd react if I chose to be frontal about it so instead I talked about the other two narcissist I grew close to. He tried to change the subject, I told him he was free to leave if he wasn't interested in hearing what I had to say. I described their behaviors, one of them outright told me he was a narcissist and explained a lot of his internal logic to me. When I brought the conversation back to my actual target he tried to deny everything, I told him this wasn't a debate and ignored any further attempt to deny/derail my monologue. It kinda worked I guess, when I asked him whether he realized he had been cruel to me he just kept quiet. I took that as a yes. Even got a reluctant half admittance later on. The whole conversation was comically surreal, he used up half of his lines to deny he was a narcissist ... and the other half to bring everything back to himself and his glory lol. Anyway, when I was finished he told me he wouldn't change. I told him yup, I know that, this is my farewell. I told him to take care of himself and he answered you too. I don't think the sadness in his voice was an act.
@mandyporras07
6 жыл бұрын
Oh I told him before it was ever over. I believe it made it worse. I always called him out on his bullshit.
@felishalyons2350
6 жыл бұрын
What about when you tell them they are one and they say “you’re out of control” or “calm down”
@JENtrification81
6 жыл бұрын
Mine denied the abuse. For starters she treated me like shit in front of the new supply. Grey rock for them as well. After they left she screamed in my face and demanded I tell her what I knew about her "friends." I said I knew nothing, which was a lie... I stalked them on Facebook and then blocked them. I should have just left at that point. Then I went and sat in a bean bag chair which she violently began to kick with a dark, hollow hatred in her eyes. Again, should have left, but didn't. Next morning I decided I was done and would be making my gradual exit. I confronted her on the incident later and she said it didn't happen. I asked flat out if she was calling me a liar. She then said "well one of us is." And I've been done ever since. 4 months no contact today. It's a beautiful thing. I'd love to expose this philandering wench, but I also don't want to be chained to her anymore either. Long may she rot.
@jayc3141
5 жыл бұрын
Mid ranger seems to be most difficult to spot. Greater is too charming. Lesser is dumb. I had a mid ranger and she has fucked my mind. And she actually was kind and helpful with many things
@DarcyFitz100
5 жыл бұрын
HG . I'm dying to know this question.. I have watched numerous of your videos and read many of your links( enjoy then all!!).. I have yet to buy a book which I'm really looking forward to. So my question is. You say that the narcissist is not aware of his devious and malicious behavior. You have said that the narcissist is not aware of his harm and destruction that is about to inspire.. but yet you have said how to remove a narcissist from a small town is to confront them, call them out. So if a narcissist does not know he is a narcissist why would that remove him, why would that cause fear to the narcissist ,why would that make a narcissist run. Why would that cause injury if they are not aware of who they are Darcy British Columbia Canada
@lindaliriel
7 жыл бұрын
Interesting video! I have often wondered if devaluation would place even if the other party, knowing he/she is handling a narc, provides ample supply though praise and/or adoration. I have identified a person as a narc, but I cannot avoid them...So I have found myself phrasing things so that they words are always packaged as a compliment, though really a subtle request or attempt to correct behaviour. It has been proving rather effective! Therefore it got me to question if it would be possible, for people in a relationship with a narc, to avoid the devaluation/insults/abuse, by using a similar method of lavish worship (at least until no contact becomes a viable option.) What do you think? Will the praise always and inevitably go stale? Could this be a good way of gaining time for escape?
@checkmate9711
6 жыл бұрын
Linda Liriel , my narc has custody of his kids, he for years put them on pedestal, "they come first" , no accountable for disrespect, he showed them how to disrespect me, they bragged he would yell at me not them if their homework not done, he divided us building a healthy relationship by passively aggressively telling me "my kids love you more than me" (this was still in love bomb time), now they are soon to be 16, one knows how to manipulate him (he placates, as he doesn't want to have real interaction ), the other- like me has gotten good at distance (emotional, and physical, as much as possible undr 1 roof), now the narc dad is spewing toxic comments and complaints about son, SO sad!
@lisalioness4683
7 жыл бұрын
Exactly, he always want to "fix" me, because he says I am crazy. He made a psychiatrist prescribed conserta to me. WITHOUT A PROPER DIAGNOSE!!! He gave it to me each morning to drink till I wanted to commit suicide. That was maybe his plan. Why didn't I know about this before I married. Now I have four children with him and sacrifice my life, sanity and happiness for them. His obsessive, dominating and controlling behaviour is unbearable. Every decision is about power. The colour theme of the kitchen, the cooking pots. Everything turns out in a horrendous fight.
@fluffylegs8598
7 жыл бұрын
Lisa Lioness Hugs. At least you have found out now and it helps to find out about how narcissists operate so that you can understand that everything they do is about getting narcistic supply. They all seem to follow the same script. Try to learn to disengage from him. You could Imagine when he is talking that he has the same voice as Donald duck, it might take the sting out of his gaslighting and bullying behaviour. Look up the 'grey rock' technique, which means that you don't react to his baiting of you. If you really do believe that he is narcissist though, leave quietly when you are ready. It's tough when you have been ground down and there are children involved. I ended up in a women's shelter, it was the only way that I could escape. My ex wasn't violent but emotionally abusive. Before I left my husband I wrote down all the abuses and controlling behaviour that he had done on a sheet of paper and hid it. I then re-read it a week later and was appalled by the amount of lies and manipulations that I had put up with. Narcissists try to make out that you're the crazy one. It's what they do. When you get wise to them you realise how utterly and totally mind numbing, shit boring, that their 'drama' is.
@TerresaOxentenko
7 жыл бұрын
He vacillated/s between the lesser and the upper, possessing traits from both. I believe his culture allowed him to abuse, but when unacceptable he would hold back until he could not. His anger and rage finally got the best of him then his intimate primary partner and children suffered...But he would back track explaining himself out of it to the best of his ability. It got him off the hook once, in the beginning, but not in the end...
@luckylady2992
7 жыл бұрын
I told the ex narcissist what he was a long time ago and just kind of brushed it off as if he had no clue of what I was talking about. It didn't stop him from being with me, hoovering, or repeating the cycle. He justified the abuse to his new supply saying I was harassing him then continued to stalk me while with OW. Mid-ranger possibly?
@alchemyphoenix535
3 жыл бұрын
Mine had never entered any explanation or defense of his behavior in the slightest ever, always directed any 'misunderstanding' at me. Last I saw him, after I was hoovered for one night, then discarded in the morning by a series of diversions to get rid of me in a hurry, no doubt because after he checked his phone discretely outside the room, he was gagging for the attention he was drawn to from the dozen messages I heard vibrate his phone after he set it to silent. He refused to have a conversation about our relationship (which he had earlier alluded we would have). Confused and tired, after I returned home, it was like I had a moment of clarity of what happened, I impulsively, emotionally, launched an accusation via text, calling him a liar and narcissist, that I had been right about my suspicions all along, he replied, 'I don't know what the fuck I did. You have not changed, I guess it was a mistake reconnecting with you last night. goodbye'. When challenged, very cold unemotional, formal and business like. Because he replies calmly and doesn't react or defend, the most emotional reaction has been, 'babe what are you talking about? I've been busy with work!... When I asked if something was wrong because he stopped calling me, after calling and messaging me 10 times per day'...I end up blaming myself and think I'm the problem because I've reacted emotionally, question my judgement and apologise....
@sandrawatson3044
7 жыл бұрын
HG I told my ex somatic narc he was an abuser and threw him out for the third and last time 6 months ago thenI went nc. I had smear campaign, then stalking for which he was arrested several times and caught by police last time he stalked me, this was despite breaking bail conditions each time. He's lost his driving licence for dangerous driving, will be in court shortly for stalking, too lazy to work. From your perspective and knowledge.....do you agree he's gonna end up in the black hole? Who would want him now? Thank you
@NathanOakley1980
7 жыл бұрын
Big improvement in audio quality HG!
@KnowingtheNarcissist
7 жыл бұрын
Thank you. I am back in my study with a superior microphone, having been overseas for many weeks with a less satisfactory mic.
@susannec659
7 жыл бұрын
Asad Zaman Unbelievably well said ! thank you so much for that !
@Phil..._
7 жыл бұрын
Nathan: A new mic is one thing, but the quality of content has always existed here. How's the tireless but seemingly aimless persuit of flat earth evidence coming along these days?
@lydiam9323
5 жыл бұрын
Omg I couldn’t take him saying I 100% messed up the marriage that he was leaving me because I couldn’t make him happy, so I said he couldn’t make me happy! He could not believe his ears! I told him he was abusive! He called me a piece of shit, glad he was leaving me! Then went to the gym . Now I’m scared what he will do, Narcissist injury? Luckily he’s not a lesser narc
@skucha
7 жыл бұрын
thanks, great content as always + my English is getting a lot more sophisticated just by listenning and reading you. can imagine how u are a death trap, easy.
@teresaz7152
5 жыл бұрын
Trust is earned....not given.
@jaimes1572
5 жыл бұрын
It should say when you tell them run! And have your ducks in a row to get the hell out of there. There are situations where you can’t leave for example a family member or neighbor but have you armor and guards ready because it’s not pretty.
@9keykey
6 жыл бұрын
I told one he had questionable behavior, he retorted that I have problems and I am insecure then asked me to drive him to the store. I passed the store to hurry him out of my car (he was yelling at me and telling me who I am) he noticed what I was doing and yelled "I despise bitches like you."
@debbiehamblin2213
4 жыл бұрын
Can u have lesser narcisstic traits in a mid ranger? The 2 narcs I know are more passive aggressive victim types but will lash out violently when called an abuser. One has sexually and physical hurt me before while I would bring up divorce (and verbal abuse) .....and the other would hit the wall or furniture as well as verbally lash out calling me names and tearing me down...justifying his treatment of me! Help please!? Both have extremely bad tempers and low education. But are victim types too
@justletmesigninokthx
6 жыл бұрын
this info is MENTAL. fucking nuts, but great that it might help
@ladyshorty6989
5 жыл бұрын
A VERY SAD AND PATHETIC FACT.
@donnasouther2785
5 жыл бұрын
Consider yourself blessed Mr. Tudor. You are earning Mercy for your post end, and most likely a recruitment offer as a recruiter for your kind. Like an underground railroad that meets the Holy Diver..AND you reign as king of the planet when It comes to narcs. Holy shit. You are adored by us and reign ruler of all Dark Kings through straight oppressional treason with other living demons pledged in the left hands ranks. I never thought I would see it in this lifetime, but here it is. Welcome home. Now on with the war......sincerely, Donna. PS. You look splended in white satin.
@aruvielevenstar3944
6 жыл бұрын
I told him he is a narc and he doesn’t have empathy or self insight. He only reacted by saying narcs do have self insight😲now I wonder if he knows he is a narc. He sometimes goes to a psychotherapeut, but no idea what he is doing there. He is currently silent treating me so no contact. A few weeks earlier he lovebombed me with another hoover, he was lovebombing the hell out of me and when I sensed manipulation and told him that he discarded me. Probably fucking his ex again cause he got her old sofa🤐
@dtaylor4001
7 жыл бұрын
Does karma ever come back to a narc
@Godsgirl48ly
7 жыл бұрын
Plush17. Yes, Karma does repay. Many destroy themselves by suicide once there is no more supply for them. All the hate and cruelty of their dark soul, consumes them from the inside out. They become their own victim with self murder. Just wait for it, it will happen.
@reneeb8331
7 жыл бұрын
Stephanie Allen i hope so.
@Ozma337
7 жыл бұрын
Plush17 No. They don't feel pain from loss. They look at it like an upgrade to whatever the loss was.
@Peonyprashanti
6 жыл бұрын
Instant karma.
@andycheatle1732
6 жыл бұрын
Why should it? Life is rarely 'fair' - and karma is a superstitious fallacy. Sometimes evil people thrive, live a long life & die peacefully in their sleep. For sure it sucks!
@dragonfly1955
5 жыл бұрын
I told my x narc he was fucked up. Enough said
@gjarm
8 ай бұрын
Sorry HG, I have to disagree with you/draw the line on this subject matter. Narcissists aren't "entitled" to "abuse" people. What Narcissists think/feel isn't wrong, doesn't make it right. Abuse, is abuse. You don't get to strip people of their basic, human rights by use of intimidation, reinforcement in control, threats. Psychological abuse is wrong. "A punch/a slap in the face"...call the police. Physical abuse/sexual assault is against the law. Narcissists are not "allowed/ entitled" to break the law!
@CherryBugg
7 жыл бұрын
I preferred the primary source mic 😏
@sisteranonymous3585
5 жыл бұрын
I love this!
@blessedbutterfly4552
7 жыл бұрын
What happens when you expose and prove a narcissist is abusive to other people using their own words or actions?
@KnowingtheNarcissist
7 жыл бұрын
Listen to the videos titled Exposure : Escape and Exposure : Devaluation
@blessedbutterfly4552
7 жыл бұрын
Thank you. Has anyone ever told you that your voice sounds like the narrator from Winnie the Pooh? LOL! Thanks again for all of your videos.
@kimmichaud4064
7 жыл бұрын
goddamn it your voice got a hundred times sexier oh my god in dying I did tell my narc he's a narc in his case it caused him to hoover me to prove he's not a narc oh god voice is so distracting
@dalmatianlady2067
7 жыл бұрын
I take it you did not scare your ex enough that she reported you?
@freedomismine4696
7 жыл бұрын
i am being abused for 6 years ...in the end i beat him up with a block of wood,... i kick him and pushed his head to the ground and forced him to shut up and put a shoe in his mouth ... and i nearly set him on fire .... i called him low life poor parasite from hell ... then he cried is run away ... he runaway is that because he felt abused or i just gave him huge fuel ??? am i just being so furious victim and cant take it anymore or am i become narcisstic ? i dont feel like to abused anybody ... i just had enough at the time ...
@Femininelovevibes
7 жыл бұрын
freedom is mine I was with a lesser. He drove me to lose my cool. I noticed that he actually laughed. It's as if he wanted me to attack him . Enjoyed my complete loss of control. I would get so angry at his outrageous behavior I could stand it nor control myself . I left him. After to my unfortunate I got with a handsome midranger Narc. Covert and sneaky bastard. I completely fell in love him with. Though not as obvious crazy as the lesser . This guy you don't see it coming. A snake. So he has never made me lose my cool with anger. It's been more like complete heartache and overall lost hope if humanity. As someone who is smiling at you but is really stabbing your back has to be the worst feeling I have ever felt (in my life). Strangely I prefer the lesser as that person you can tell and adjust accordingly as with the midranger I believe you don't know what is going on. So to answer your question no I don't think you are a narc you may have lost control like I did from the chaos. I never did what I did to the lesser to anyone else. That was my clue.
@Peonyprashanti
6 жыл бұрын
freedom is mine Fuel
@Pearlangeldream
6 жыл бұрын
Wow u did excellently well! I wish do the same. But I don't have the strength in end to fight back because he was huge and beat me down. I wish I have the strength to push his head down & make him eat a shoe like u did! Amazing.
@aruvielevenstar3944
6 жыл бұрын
My ex narc is a lesser loser
@shecat1964
6 жыл бұрын
damn the voice is scary!
@alyssab7842
6 жыл бұрын
This is Joseph Williams
@mgtowmanlivefree2538
7 жыл бұрын
In your opinion, with sex male or female, are most pron to narcissism
@DeviShaktiUni
6 жыл бұрын
I am overwhelm with your videos since the language used is so disrespectful ?! I do never say anyone to fuck off...I never had this dichotomy of words, maybe cause I do not use it and refuse to go that way. Expect me to in a diplomatic and respite manner to make you see I do not like nor will endure in that kind of behavior and talking. Hmmmmm....Now I understand why I got so many silent treatments. I was being punish for my higher manners! lol
@dickflinghammer7643
6 жыл бұрын
Or she.
@riaridolfi3658
6 жыл бұрын
I'm incredibly confused I appreciate your videos I think that you're amazing for doing this because you don't have to it's like literally letting go of your secrets because I'm not saying I'm perfect I'm far from it but I know that I'm a good person I have a good heart and it's just crazy that someone actively seeks a person out because of those qualities that my x narc. He Knows that my dad almost killed me when I was 13 ,that my boyfriend committed suicide and has used that against me which ironically the person that was with us the night before he died was my ex narcs roommate and it just it baffles me that I honestly feel that there's more so much more to his death and everything but yet he just turned it around trying to make me look like I'm the one that had anything to do with it when I wasn't even there and I love my boyfriend I love him very much he's my daughter's father I loved him he was my friend my real friend and that's something that my Ex narc wasn't ,he was not a friend he was the worst enemy I've never had. enemies NVR treated me in that way and you know putting my pictures up on Facebook, my naked pictures, videos blackmailing me using me but I was so f****** stupid I honestly didn't know what was happening to my life I thought he was bragging about me to his friends because he told me I was the prettiest girlfriend he's ever had yet he was telling everybody that I was crazy so that way when he would get in a fight with me he could say C look at her she is a f****** crazy b**** he recorded me, a GPS in my truck ,ruined both of my vehicles ,he robbed my family while they're paying him to do the lawn, he doesn't even have a job ,he uses women to live off of ,of course I didn't know any of this or I wouldn't have fallen in love with him. I thought he was my friend I thought he loved me how effing stupid is that a year-and-a-half later I'm finally finding out all this s*** and it's it's incomprehensible ,he doesn't even have a car he doesn't have a license he got arrested driving my truck and The Drug Squad pulled us over and I didn't understand why in the hell The Drug Squad would be involved in a suspended license situation ,he robs everybody he's stolen so many things from me he even stole the fuse box cover for my car and I realize now he's had all these people flying monkeys whatever they come and get information from me and and all the triangulating and all the gaslighting I really honestly thought I was going f****** crazy and I almost took my life two weekends ago because of this b******* it is so unfair cuz I gave him everything I had and I would have given him more and he gave me next to nothing other than pain and misery I feel like such a f****** idiot.
@christinemiller6566
7 жыл бұрын
He is a Mid Range
@carolinelala9818
6 жыл бұрын
HG is much too intelligent for that, he's incredibly well-educated.
@viciieglenn5263
7 жыл бұрын
What color is fuel? What does it taste like, looks like?
@andycheatle1732
6 жыл бұрын
Rainbow coloured. Seriously what kind of question is that?!
@sheilagarnett7155
6 жыл бұрын
dave 1 .
@n8vscience842
6 жыл бұрын
The demon comment. I have that in text
@Peonyprashanti
6 жыл бұрын
What's your email HG?
@KnowingtheNarcissist
6 жыл бұрын
narcissist1909@gmail.com
@Peonyprashanti
6 жыл бұрын
Knowing the Narcissist is that a real email? I tried that
@KnowingtheNarcissist
6 жыл бұрын
It is.
@viciieglenn5263
6 жыл бұрын
I believe you are possessed by Satan, your voice changed in the same sound, scary dude, hope the best for your future.
@TheQueenOfPhilly
6 жыл бұрын
I plan on exposing the fuck out of my low range narsissist. #ImReady
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