in my opinion getting ghosted is most painful way to breakup with someone. theres no closure to where the person knows what they did wrong or where to improve. even via text, it atleast makes it "official" that the two people are done. but i feel like in an abusive relationship, ghosting is a lot more acceptable.
@janklaas5980
5 жыл бұрын
I have been ghosted and i still dont know why. Most terrible feeling that exist...
@izzwith10z
5 жыл бұрын
Jan Klaas damn i agree :’) feelsbadman
@missironmouse
5 жыл бұрын
I agree with that
@michaeljerome6591
5 жыл бұрын
@@izzwith10z feelsfuckingbadman
@justsomenuts
5 жыл бұрын
Steven Utter that sounds like the opposite of healthy. Letting yourself grieve and process is much better.
@whatsinadeadname
5 жыл бұрын
You mention potential employees ghosting as if it was unusual for that situation. It's noteworthy that ghosting is very much a normal tactic for the other side of this relationship: potential employers. "We'll get back to you" at the interview is often followed by complete silence, and failure to respond to interviewee followup attempts.
@tfh5575
5 жыл бұрын
Right?! I find it so unprofessional. An employer that totally ignored me and left me hanging called me back a few weeks later for another position like nothing happened. That didn’t sit well with me.
@musicianwren9248
5 жыл бұрын
Ha ha thanks, this is so true. Although it sucks and drains one's energy and time I believe one is better off not having such a childish jerk for a boss ...
@WDGFE
5 жыл бұрын
Think of it as a filter. A likely toxic employer filtered themselves out of your life without you having to do it down the road. Wouldn’t want to get hired by a business that does that, as they would make life miserable in countless other ways.
@grantbaugh2773
5 жыл бұрын
I got ghosted so many times when applying for jobs that it led me to a career in recruiting because I don't want other people to go through what I did.
@Yahriel
5 жыл бұрын
I've even been ghosted by recruiters who DO follow up. I get a personal email from them declining me, and something like "if you have any questions, feel free to reach out." So naturally, I reply with something like "What was it you were looking for that you feel I didn't have? I'd like to know where I can improve and grow for the next time I apply to ?". Not once have I gotten an answer. Don't invite further communication if you have no intention of actually communicating.
@WeeWeeJumbo
5 жыл бұрын
Be brave enough to be kind. Leave no wreckage in your wake.
@sho.me.spring53
5 жыл бұрын
♥️ this
@Zebulization
5 жыл бұрын
Now that is odd; I read your comment as "Be brave enough to be kind. Leave nothing but wreckage in your wake." I was like: yeah make it abundantly clear that the relationship is irreparable. Then I read the comment again, oh. Clean up after yourself when you leave?
@tokelaugurl
5 жыл бұрын
WeeWeeJumbo Beautiful
@mysterypersonthing8885
5 жыл бұрын
Saying goodbye makes such amazing difference.
@mechbean6953
5 жыл бұрын
Who said this? (And made it famous or whatever)
@tokyobennet7753
4 жыл бұрын
Who’s here because someone ghosted you and you’re in agonizing pain?
@margomazzeo1680
4 жыл бұрын
Me..but Im healing now..
@God.sDaughter
4 жыл бұрын
Me and I don’t know how to move on. I was told that he had a young lady in his place of work who was seated very comfortable and she said, “I’m going to see my mother.” He said, “will you be back?” He used me for sex. I had to break up with my boyfriend for him and I to see if we can set up a relationship but he never replied to me since today. He disappeared. I’ve wondered what did I do wrong? Why couldn’t he tell me to my face he isn’t interested any longer? I’m hurt and severely bruised. It kills me.
@MJ-od5sh
3 жыл бұрын
5 months in and he ghosted it’s the most excruciating inner pain that anyone can do . He was struggling but still no excuse
@drowjack
3 жыл бұрын
I’m still confused
@MJ-od5sh
3 жыл бұрын
I found out why mine ghosted, he was a serial cheat , he does this a lot to not take responsibility for his behaviours. & it looks like the Two weeks before he did this he thought he found another victim . It came two weeks after I but the boundaries in place & what I expected as part of respect towards me & the relationship. He obviously couldn’t respect me or stop his excessive validation flirting . I can move on now but it still the most evil cowardly behaviour . We are all better without these types in our life .
@databanks
5 жыл бұрын
When trying to escape a malignant narcissist or abusive partner - ghosting becomes more of a safety option. Speaking from personal experience here.
@zdillard318
5 жыл бұрын
ABSOLUTELY! Furthermore, if you don't ghost for your own safety, they will ghost you either for an ephemeral silent treatment, or as an attempt to destroy your self esteem by moving on to new supply. And that's if they don't kill you.
@Food4thought1234
5 жыл бұрын
That's not considered ghosting.
@skullandmelodiesd.c.3137
5 жыл бұрын
Sort of like witness protection
@hellraisinhamster
5 жыл бұрын
Agreed!
@GW-gz8jh
5 жыл бұрын
That’s going no contact. Completely separate issue. That’s not the same as ghosting. Most people aren’t escaping from abuse, it’s plain bad manners because they do not have the maturity to end it properly and deal with feeling badly.
@DJNHmusic
5 жыл бұрын
I think ghosting happens for one of two reasons: one is that the ghoster simply doesn't care about other people's feelings (lack of empathy), and the other that they feel that they aren't able or are too afraid to properly communicate the end of a relationship and the reasons for it (a lot of people probably aren't even sure why they're ending it anyway). It's happened to me and it's quite cruel. If you don't at least get feedback what you did wrong, or even if you did anything wrong, it can haunt you forever. Everyone deserves an honest explanation.
What do people think they are going to get out of an explanation? In my experience the only reason they wanna know why I so they can try to change Even though it’s usually something they can’t change And when you tell them what it is it seems to make them feel even worse.
@matahari8673
2 жыл бұрын
Agree
@samratneupane8429
Жыл бұрын
i ghosted my girl cause of less communication between us. She wasn't very communicative and i was the one to initiate conversation tryna bring more meaning to our relationship but didn't work out. So I ended relationship in her way and never looked back. After a month, she tried to reach out with her friends account but my ego was like nah, you gotta have self respect. It seemed to me that she lost interest while we were in a relationship.
@ziggyflame6988
Жыл бұрын
I ghosted two people. I explained myself to them because those two had stabbed me in the back big time. I gave them many chances. I got tired of the drama and so I cut them off. Sometimes it’s none of the reasons that you listed. I understand that in some cases it is bad to ghost but when the person is really toxic or they just won’t understand how spreading rumors is bad,and they constantly continue to do that,then cutting someone off is the right thing to do because you cannot force someone to change or to stop they’re silly childish behavior.
@TheGreatCooLite
5 жыл бұрын
Can't get ghosted if you have never been in a relationship
@geekygecko1849
5 жыл бұрын
Relatable
@andy56duky
5 жыл бұрын
@Apex Wraith losers says that and you're a living proof.
@Maru7en
5 жыл бұрын
XD
@probablynot1368
5 жыл бұрын
@Apex Wraith Relationships take work. If a person avoids a relationship because of the fear of being ghosted (rejected), then that person has also avoided the possibility of a happy, successful relationship. Rejection happens; that’s life. Could you imagine how unchallenging or boring life would be if one succeeded at everything attempted on the first try?
@ourladypeace3
5 жыл бұрын
Same
@mmilcz833
5 жыл бұрын
When I was severely depressed I was really good at ghosting. Trying to quit doing that. It’s a bad avoidance coping mechanism in my case. Edit: I just want to specify that I’m not talking about romantic relationships and I never ghosted anyone permanently. I’m talking about not replying to family and friends for a couple of days, maybe a month or two at most. This has nothing to do with abuse or cowardice. It’s a bad thing to do but my family always knew I was safe. I’ve never abandoned anyone and left them to wonder if I’m even alive. I’m in a close knit circle of family and friends and everyone always knows how I’m doing. People deal with many difficult things so please don’t be rude.
@jodinha4225
5 жыл бұрын
Yet more light shines on just how awful depression is.
@det.halligan
5 жыл бұрын
I also had this issue during depression. I ghosted almost everyone and was antisocial with family. I'm glad they did a video on it, because I never forgave myself for doing it, and still haven't. I'm still not 100% sure why I did it, besides remembering a near constant feeling of "I-can't-be-bothered".
@jodinha4225
5 жыл бұрын
Chris Kanellis if you did it cause of a feeling of just not being able to put in the effort to respond I wouldn’t consider it ghosting. Ghosting is much more nefarious whether it’s meant to be or not.
@mmilcz833
5 жыл бұрын
Chris Kanellis in my case it was mostly because I didn’t know how to explain myself for not being around so I just avoided them altogether. Also when people would try to catch up and ask how I was doing I didn’t feel like telling them how horrible I feel but at the same time I didn’t want to lie. It was also painful to talk to people that used to make me happy and excited and didn’t anymore (it wasn’t their fault, I was just in a bad place).
@mmilcz833
5 жыл бұрын
Kissa Kala I did and thankfully so did the people I hurt. Some of them didn’t understand at first but eventually everyone I care about came around.
@renatoloureiro9103
4 жыл бұрын
The most difficult part of being ghosted nowadays is that social media allows you to see the "ghoster" carrying on with their lives while you are still trying to recover. This is horrible because you start speculating about the reasons for being ghosted in the first place
@michaelpeople7283
2 жыл бұрын
Exactly. I am in day two of being ghosted. It sucks like hell. She gets to continue on with her life, while I sit here trying to recover. Wish there was some type of karma for that. But to all you "ghosters" out there Please be careful. Folks are crazy out here in the world, and you don’t know what may trigger a person.
@naseebagarba1828
2 жыл бұрын
I hope you're fine now Michael
@michaelpeople7283
2 жыл бұрын
@@naseebagarba1828 oh I am just fine, still ghosted from the same person but its HER loss not mine.
@naseebagarba1828
2 жыл бұрын
@@michaelpeople7283 great
@naominekomimi
5 жыл бұрын
Ghosting is kind of a monstrous thing to do. I seriously question the empathetic ability of people who can sleep at night after having ghosted someone.
@shanrock34
2 жыл бұрын
I've ghosted one time. But only because I learned the man I was getting to know had a history of being charged with beating multiple girlfriends. So I didn't feel I owed him a conversation. But I do feel like if you just click with someone better it would be nice to have the respect enough to be told. It's painful.
@matthewfeola5218
2 жыл бұрын
What if it is ghosting a physopath? Is it still monstrous?
@kresivarivkah612
2 жыл бұрын
@@matthewfeola5218 Obviously not.
@gykeewheeler2015
2 жыл бұрын
I’ve ghosted about four people in my life and felt awful about it. But I never understood why I did it. I feel like I might have some kinda personality disorder or something else
@blablablabla2447
2 жыл бұрын
I did it, and was relieved to do it. I realized it was bad 7 years later, no joke. I consider to do it again with someone else because I can't stand the pain I feel anymore.
@AutobotChick25
5 жыл бұрын
I like the discussion of both how this isn’t exclusive to younger generations but also has been changed by advances in technology.
@feeling-dizzie
5 жыл бұрын
I'm confused though by the statement saying technology makes it *easier* to cut someone off. The way I see it, it's *harder* to cut someone off when we have all this instantaneous communication, and that's what makes it so obvious in modern times that you've been ghosted -- they're blatantly ignoring your messages even though it would be super easy to reply.
@Vospader0
5 жыл бұрын
@@feeling-dizzie I felt the same why when she said it - it probably should've been the other way around
@AutobotChick25
5 жыл бұрын
feeling-dizzie I see you’re point. I think maybe they meant more that in modern times, if you communicate primarily through technology with someone rather than face to face, its easier to avoid them. Its kinda hard to ghost someone you see in person on a weekly or daily basis because they can confront you about not responding and you can’t just ignore them in person without escalating the situation. Back before some of our modern technology, that’s more the situation many people were in. You communicated more with people in your immediate community, people knew each other and knew each other’s business, and many of your relationships would be with people you were bound to run into again in public. Ghosting someone is kinda hard if you keep running into them in the grocery store or if they live a block down. But now our social networks tend to be more expansive, and we communicate more with people we don’t necessarily have to worry about running into super often. So if we cut off these people, we don’t have to worry about being confronted in person, and we’re less likely to have a bunch of people in out community knowing and gossiping about it. (For some people- other people do still live in small or tight knit communities and are ghosting people in them.) Plus, with modern technology we can just block people. I don’t think on like old land lines you could block a number? Certainly not on the older ones decades ago. Now if you want to ghost someone, you don’t even have to experience the guilt of seeing they’ve tried to contact you- just block them on everything and suddenly they’re out of your life. Whereas before if someone kept calling and calling or writing and writing, you might get worn down and finally contact them back.
@MattDustyParker
5 жыл бұрын
@@AutobotChick25 excellent response. I live in a smaller, more rural town, yet by keeping to one side of a county ive been able to ghost several people and avoid locations where I would be more likely to run into others.
@AutobotChick25
5 жыл бұрын
Dusty Parker lol that sounds exhausting!
@NekoChanSenpai
5 жыл бұрын
I think it's unnecessarily cruel. How is the other person supposed to know the relationship is even over? Or that their partner hasn't just up and died? Cut off ties if you want, but let the other person know about it.
@troodon1096
5 жыл бұрын
I think cutting off ties is a pretty clear indication that the relationship is over. I don't owe any explanations to people that can't take a hint.
@StarryNightxx
5 жыл бұрын
@@troodon1096 in my case the guy lied and said he was busy, made things very confusing
@Vuadanee
5 жыл бұрын
@@troodon1096 how much effort do you think it takes to just say bye? if you're not at least willing to do that out of the sheer "i don't owe anyone anything har har" bit when it comes to bonding with another human being, i don't have much hope for any of your future relationships
@Crazywaffle5150
5 жыл бұрын
Id rather them ghost me honestly than say something negative. Allow me to pretend I never knew them.
@captlanc
3 жыл бұрын
@@troodon1096 I bet you're the kind that lied about being busy and then cut off contact. No, it is entirely your for being a coward. The fact that you don't think you 'owe' another human anything when the relationship is a 2-person-thing makes you look self-centered. You probably are. I pray no one enters any kind of 'relationship' with your kind.
@amandalicorne7769
5 жыл бұрын
I ghosted an emotionally abusive boyfriend before. I had already tried to break it off and he flew into a terrifying rage.
@berrysantics2342
5 жыл бұрын
Amanda Licorne you made the right call
@leodzepe
5 жыл бұрын
The only time this is an appropriate choice, I hope you are finding yourself better
@BunnyArisu
5 жыл бұрын
As someone who finds ghosting appalling behavior, this is a scenario where it’s perfectly fine. You did a great thing getting out of there, I’m just a stranger on the internet, but I’m proud of you.
@matthewdrummond1340
5 жыл бұрын
I respect ghosting in such circumstances. Some random guy in Canada is proud of you.
@jodinha4225
5 жыл бұрын
I don’t think ghosting was the right call. The correct thing probably would’ve been righting a last note to them explaining what’s going on then just leaving them.
@stefanmilicevic5322
5 жыл бұрын
In my opinion: Ghosting = Coward Move (There exists exceptions of course)
@tommy7830
4 жыл бұрын
Eh, if you didnt want to be their friend it isn't your obligation. If you guys have been friends for a while that's when it gets a little more complex
@nofybn7794
4 жыл бұрын
NO exceptions.
@mxd-1990asn
4 жыл бұрын
@@tommy7830 Well most people dont care if u ghost them when they were friends for only a short time, doesnt count. This comment is much more about people who were either in a relationship , about 2 people who dated for a longer time already (mainly if there already were feelings involved) and people who were very good friends. Especially the first 2 i mention can hurt a LOT, if you did care a lot and all went good AND the person who ghosts you did KNOW that you have those feelings, it will leave you with a lot of questions. Some people take weeks months years to get over someone they really cared for. (NOBODY HAS to answer u etc. in ANY case , but that does NOT change the fact that just ghosting u is a good way and its STILL immature and a coward move if it was more then just 2 weeks dating or a 2weeks friendship or so, thats not what most people talk about with comments like stefans).
@tommy7830
4 жыл бұрын
@@mxd-1990asn yeah absolutely I agree. Those are the ones when it hurts. When you've both been vulnerable with one another and have started to bond and become attached. You have lowered your guard
@maybeitswaybelline6555
4 жыл бұрын
nofy bn abusive significant other. That’s at least one exception.
@chubtuggins5169
5 жыл бұрын
Ghosting: a polite way of describing how cowards deal with adversity.
@margomazzeo1680
4 жыл бұрын
Spot on..my man!!🎈🎈🎈
@lancethrust9488
2 жыл бұрын
SNOWFLAKE CANT HANDLE LETTING GO , MOVING ON AND STARTING A NEW LIFE IS HARDLY COWARDLY , USUALLY THE GHOST HAS WEIGHED UP THERE OPTIONS AND THE JUICE ISNT WORTH THE SQUEEZE FROM A LOGICAL POINT OF VIEW , AND LETS GO FAST , ITS NOT LOGICAL TO LIVE IN NEGATIVITY LET GO AND MOVE ON !!!
@TheSuicide4
2 жыл бұрын
@@lancethrust9488 💯💯💯💯💯
@ES-aussie68
Жыл бұрын
A communication skills problem that rarely improves.
@nicholasn.2883
5 жыл бұрын
One of my best friends literally just disappeared. Goes to the same school, but he just stop talking to me. Very cool indeed
@jodinha4225
5 жыл бұрын
Nicholas Nelson had that happen to me too. They never actually told me why they did it, but my GF at the time was still their friend, and she told me the reason they did it was because they didn’t like my sense of humor. That’s really my only experience with ghosting but it doesn’t paint ghosters in a good light, being willing to throw away relationships just cause the person isn’t funny enough.
@AdipescentCat
5 жыл бұрын
Nicholas Nelson this was my high school story too! Good thing It happened though. There were def red flags but I found true friendship cuz of this and am wayyyy better off and learned and grew :)
@ceddynash5610
5 жыл бұрын
I had to end up ghosting a friend I'd known for a really long time because they were so obsessed with spending time together. I had various groups of friends but still liked my own company, while they were the opposite. They hated being alone and I was one of their only friends. Plus, the more comfortable with me they got, the more increasingly weird they were. I didn't mind a little weird because we all are a bit, but this was like... creepy. I'm talking, "lets go and wait for this girl to finish work so we can bump into her" weird. This didn't happen all the time admittedly, and I was still more annoyed that they would ask to meet up almost every single day or even just turn up at my house when they wanted to see me. I even ended up having a really awkward discussion with them saying that I think they're too dependant on other people's company, but they still text me, rang me or turned up at my house all the time
@grimterrapin3987
5 жыл бұрын
As a person who's been ghosted more times than I can could count, please dont do it. Ive been an emotional mess for nearly a decade as a result
@redfather5342
4 жыл бұрын
Grow the he'll up you cry baby
@margomazzeo1680
4 жыл бұрын
@@redfather5342 stfu..bully..
@Rtz89
4 жыл бұрын
@@redfather5342 What about the person ghosting that needs to grow up? Ghosting itself is childish and cowardly.
@rl3656
4 жыл бұрын
@@redfather5342 🤮🤮🤮
@redfather5342
4 жыл бұрын
@@Rtz89 how so
@andreariegler
4 жыл бұрын
I was ghosted in a past relationship. I still have yet to speak to him, and am totally glad. It took a lot of inner work to realize that anyone who thinks so little of me that they had to do this as a means of getting away from me has zero courage, no consideration for others, and is quite narcissistic. I have to thank him for setting me free from what most likely would have been a toxic relationship, as he lacked the ability to be honest and upfront about what he wanted from the relationship in the first place. He could "talk the talk " of long-term commitment, but could not "walk the walk", and when things were "getting serious " for me, he was getting scared that he might have to make an effort for someone other than himself, and that's when he vanished into thin air. If I were to see him on the street (and I have crossed paths with him since then), I act like I don't know who he is. No recognition for someone who plainly does not deserve it. Glad to be free from a person who uses their "availability " as a toxic weapon to inflict emotional abuse. Never again.
@TokioTE
2 жыл бұрын
Perfectly said 👏💞
@aalagh57
2 жыл бұрын
true
@zinazoulou3574
Жыл бұрын
How are you doing now?
@bobthegoat7090
5 жыл бұрын
Ghosting is not acceptable unless you are in an abusive relationship. As the person getting ghosted it is not fun as you can only imagine what you did wrong and your own conclusion often is way worse than the actual reason
@amykay3813
5 жыл бұрын
I agree, especially if the ghosted person has no way to know if you are safe.
@catherinedavis34
5 жыл бұрын
Preach
@KCNOZC
5 жыл бұрын
Fake Name yea it could be someone who doesn’t want to be found anymore. Done trying. There was never Love there or they wouldn’t have ghosted to begin with. If someone loved and cared for someone they wouldn’t put someone in a position to mentally destroy them. Never to love again. Poor judgement on someone’s call
@GW-gz8jh
5 жыл бұрын
That’s not ghosting. That’s going no contact and is something completely different. Ghosting is ending a relationship without any notice because you aren’t mature enough to do so and fear the discomfort of that responsibility
@fidelis1480
4 жыл бұрын
Just make sure you aren't the abuser, ghosting is actually kind of passive aggressive probably verging on sadistic.
@rachelbeth._611
5 жыл бұрын
Anyone been ghosted before they even got a chance to be in a relationship? Hurts like hell.
@JoshuaKimbrough
3 жыл бұрын
Facts
@fredcavalcante1887
Ай бұрын
Me. For a woman I knew for years and never indicated anything was wrong. She acted as things were evolving and I had a normal conversation with her a few days before she didn't answer me anymore. I don't like people easily and I thought we had a bond. It was extremely coward by her part, but I bet she felt justified by something that she never talked about, as seems most people do.
@nicolelynn8494
3 жыл бұрын
Honestly in an abusive relationship or with a cheating partner, I think ghosting is perfectly acceptable. If you are being used, abused, manipulated, or gaslighted, ghosting is a safe way to go. When you try to talk things out with a narcissist, they will just end up lying to get what they need and you’ll fall back into the trap. With ghosting, you’re not putting yourself in a position to be gaslighted and lied to. With ghosting, they’ll have to sit and wonder what they did wrong and accept it for themselves. By fearing being abandoned again without zero closure or empathy from the other partner, they can maybe finally change. You can be free.
@mamukelemakhanya1977
Жыл бұрын
Needed to read this
@lionelgrisbane-ud87
Жыл бұрын
Lmao no they won’t change. This makes you just as bad as them, you sound super manipulative and controlling. All you have to say is that you won’t be speaking to them anymore, and then don’t. Then you don’t have to speak to them anymore without the cowardice of ghosting. It’s not that hard.
@nicolelynn8494
Жыл бұрын
@@lionelgrisbane-ud87 No, I think when someone abuses you it’s okay to stop all contact and go straight to filing a no contact order 😄
@lionelgrisbane-ud87
Жыл бұрын
@@nicolelynn8494 yes it is but that’s not what you said. You said you would ignore them as a tactic to manipulate them into changing. That’s manipulative on your part. If they’re abusive and you need to get away from them then just get away but don’t expect them to change or do it to make them change.
@nicolelynn8494
Жыл бұрын
@@lionelgrisbane-ud87 Not manipulative at all. My point is you could be a positive influence in their life by ghosting them, causing them to finally introspect 😊 they can choose that or not. Manipulation is when you’re expecting something; ghosting is the opposite. Plus if you’re truly ghosting, then you don’t expect any outcomes from them again.
@MissBlueEyeliner
5 жыл бұрын
I was ghosted after a year long relationship. What’s wrong with people 🙄🤷♀️
@invadinginfidel2195
5 жыл бұрын
Bianca Bloom hurt people hurting people!
@pbmc_
4 жыл бұрын
Same here after a year relationship. Makes me wonder why I was that person in the first place.
@emanaturalsaus
4 жыл бұрын
Same here after nearly 2 yr relationship. So hurtful.
@Rowsic
4 жыл бұрын
Bianca Bloom Just happened to me after a year long relationship. Then “break”, then she said she wanted to get back together and I said I wanted to take it slow, two months later after initiating everything she ghosts me. I haven’t been this mad in a long time lol. Felt betrayed and like a slap to the face.
@cangjie12
4 жыл бұрын
Our modern world doesn’t believe in moral values anymore. Its just about trying to ‘be’ someone and trying to ‘express’ yourself.
@qwnpngwn672
5 жыл бұрын
Having been ghosted myself at a young age by a person who introduced me to family and talked about putting a ring on it, admittedly hurts more than you can imagine. It was very painful and left me spinning and completely blindsided. I heard from him about a year later and he says he was in too deep and felt awful for doing it. He was also getting married and expecting a child but somehow simultaneously telling his ex girlfriend (me) how he still missed me 🙄. Loser.. ultimately in hindsight.. Im so glad he did that because I can only imagine how crap my life would've been compared to how great it is now with my husband
@birdy_coolbeans
5 жыл бұрын
won't someone think of the poor employers? after all, they have applications to reject without a word, we can't have them worried about getting ghosted by the people they DO want to hire
@nattygsbord
5 жыл бұрын
I think it is a nice thing when companies sends a letter telling you that someone else got the job so one can go on with your life.
@weir-doe3205
5 жыл бұрын
Haha, nice one. Ghosting isn't new, it just went personal
@ttrev007
5 жыл бұрын
I have only Ghosted one person. It was for safety reasons. It was the least bad option.
@michaeljerome6591
5 жыл бұрын
i think ghosting is a better option for a situation like this in my opinion
@lorenasbarros
5 жыл бұрын
Either ghost and hide yo kids hide yo wife or... report that person to the police. Been there
@chrisbaker2669
5 жыл бұрын
I think people get angrier over ghosting then a just a quick break up text.
@brwneyedgrl2301
4 жыл бұрын
@kidofdarkness_ I was thinking the same thing. You can send a text, write a note, leave a message while still remaining save. And can also add for him/her not to contact you again, if you are that scared.
@shantolion1576
4 жыл бұрын
Thats not gosting. Thats protection thats something completely different and i agree with that
@nadjadoes
Жыл бұрын
I used to ghost people when I knew my energy would be off towards someone ('cause sometimes life happens). In a way, it was to protect them. But on the other hand, it was dumb 'cause they'd end up wondering why I ghosted them (which may be worse). I know now that it's better to end things properly with people or explain why you act in certain ways. So now, when people ghost me, I remember how I used to ghost others and know that I am not the problem - they are. If you look at it that way, it will be a relief. Of course, it hurts, but you never really know what is happening in someone's life. Sometimes we think we play a bigger part than we actually do. And if your friendship/ relationship/ whatever is meant to be, you will find each other back along the way.
@ceddynash5610
5 жыл бұрын
I've known overly clingy and annoying people that I've told I'm busy, and tried meeting up with them less often.(didn't work). Said that I'm not as available as they'd like me to be, and that I'd let them know when I was free (didn't even slow them down). And even straight up said "you need to learn to be on your own"! And that's meant nothing to them... I didn't even intent on ghosting them completely, but it really is all or nothing for some people
@strawberrydaurto3366
4 жыл бұрын
Exactly! Around that time I would give clues and basically u said everything that I would do and then it was like I was pressured to hang out or something it was like a job the friend ship just became to much and as a person who needs time to be alone and away from people it was hard, I didn’t know what else to do, this friend would be mad at me and say fine then if u don’t want to hang out then don’t be my friend.. anyways this was almost 2 yrs ago but I noticed my mistake and this year right before quarantine I texted this friend my part of the story and we seem to be good haven’t talked since then, it is till probably awkward or idk but we didn’t talk for almost 2 yrs. I wanted to make things right even if she did not want to be my friend so there goes that. I do hope when we talk agin that we both have grown as people and next time no means no and also it’s not okay for me to just leave.
@ceddynash5610
4 жыл бұрын
@@strawberrydaurto3366 Definitely... when a friendship starts to feel like a chore, I don't think that's healthy. At least you managed to get your point across to them at some point. I never got to completely explain my side of the story properly (which is probably why I'm ranting on here lol). And I sometimes feel bad about it, but every time I would try to explain (anything at all) to my friend... it felt like they were only hearing what they wanted to. It was very difficult to deal with them, in many ways they were a very problematic person. I tried to help them, but you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. So, in order to save myself from inheriting all of their issues and drama I felt like ghosting is all I could do.
@psyclotronxx3083
5 жыл бұрын
Ghosting is cowardly, mean and immature.
@InvictusByz
5 жыл бұрын
I have a sneaking suspicion that the "destiny" types also don't really do too well with relationships as a whole.
@RialuCaos
5 жыл бұрын
Yes, I imagine that they'd likely abandon ship at the first sign of trouble.
@ceddynash5610
5 жыл бұрын
Not to over-generalise... but typically I've found females compare their lives/relationships with characters, stories and celebrities more than males. Not that all guys are just content with reality and don't compare their lives to anything... But girls seem to over-analyse their lives much more, which can often lead to negativity and knee-jerk reactions to things.
@hillarybillary21
5 жыл бұрын
You guys do realize that envisioning the perfect partner is just a fancy explanation for a narcassist, right?
@InvictusByz
5 жыл бұрын
@@hillarybillary21 That's a pretty bold claim. It's just as likely that they got the idea that everyone has a perfect match out there from our society, and the way we romanticize the concept of love itself.
@neothinkmaki2113
4 жыл бұрын
For normal relationships Ghosting is a cowardly way to breakup, however when dealing with toxic relationships such as Narcissistic personalities it is imperative to go "No Contact". Any response good or bad to a narcissist will become your worst nightmare.
@reagangundersen3490
4 жыл бұрын
I see ghosting as being a coward, no closure for sure and just lack of respect and a communication inability
@snow640
2 жыл бұрын
I got ghosted more than once, it made me don't believe about honesty anymore, I don't want a relationship and I'm tired. I'm happy with myself alone. Screw romantic relationships.
@nyodeler6647
5 жыл бұрын
They failed to mention one glaring trait of ghosters: They're cowards.
@redfather5342
4 жыл бұрын
So losing interest is being a cowered
@ManoloPluas
4 жыл бұрын
Only A COLDHEARTED Person will ghost you
@napa5235
4 жыл бұрын
@@redfather5342 The problem is not losing interest, the problem is that they are too coward to officially break up
@alexandranoboa
4 жыл бұрын
Wow, almost every comment coincides with ghosting being a thing of cowards. Yes, they are cowards.
@StaggerLee68
4 жыл бұрын
Or it's a last option for dealing with narc abuse. Always a grey area when discussing these things. It can be the final option in terms of safety from vampires, unfortunately. I agree that it is a weapon of the cowardly but there is the other possibility that it's pure defense and legitimate fear of potentially violent encounter. Crazy either way, haha
@coachevy2851
4 жыл бұрын
Ghosting is disgusting disrespectful and cruel. You don't play with people's emotions like that. It messes with your mind and emotions in the most cruelest way.
@Andrea-xs4ny
5 жыл бұрын
A reason for ghosting that wasn't given is depression/anxiety/going through something painful/other physical or emotional issue(s). *Personal experience
@Stormcloakvictory
4 жыл бұрын
I've been dealing with that for 10 years now, never made me ghost anyone. Yes I broke contact with people before because of that but always said what's going on and why. Never have I just left them without a word because I know how much that hurt. Infact, it's kinda hypocritical if I ghosted someone for that reason since it's very possible it might make persons depressed/anxious too. I don't wanna give people the fucked up depressed and anxious feelings I have.
@pwn1ngw4ffl3s
3 жыл бұрын
I know this comments a year old but I don't see this as a valid excuse. Mental illness is horrible. It can seriously mess someone up and I totally get that. However it is NOT a reason to hurt someone. If the relationship/friendship was abusive (mentally or physically) sure, ghosting is acceptable. Otherwise it is an extremely hurtful thing to do to someone and struggling with mental health is no good reason to mess someone else up, who might also be battling depression/anxiety and now those are acting up like 10x worse....hm, I might be projecting a bit here
@WitchettyMan
3 жыл бұрын
Nah. Your pathetic attempt at excusing it failed.
@adox8574
3 жыл бұрын
That's still a horribly selfish thing to do. You are far to focus on your own emotions to care about others. Having depression and anxiety isn't a accuse.
@thunderbug
3 жыл бұрын
The problem there is that by doing this you are literally passing on your pain. It's like a demon you pass the anxiety / depression on to that person and infect them with it too. Get therapy. DEAL WITH YOUR PAIN. Be mature. Be courageous. Besides. A text to say 'i'm sorry I can't do this any more'. It's really incredibly simple.
@maha_13
4 жыл бұрын
i was ghosted by someone in past and 4 years later, i still deal with the trauma it left me with. i get extremely anxious when people i care about merely take long to text me back or ignore a text momentarily. i start thinking every worse possible outcome in my head. i have had panic attacks cause of all the overthinking. i am trying to recover from it, but honestly, it's so hard to live in this constant fear that people who love me may leave me some day without a word...
@badgalirri
3 жыл бұрын
same.. :(
@jessicapreece79
3 ай бұрын
Me too. Its extended to my friendships now too. Anytime I feel like I have someone I could lose, my anxiety and paranoia gets so overwhelming
@nate25222
5 жыл бұрын
I met a guy and we became friends and a few months later he ghosted me. Was really weird and It still kinda bothers me today. :/ was it him or me?
@michaeljerome6591
5 жыл бұрын
i hate that question "was it him or me"
@janklaas5980
5 жыл бұрын
I was in a relationship. I feel that question man 😔
@badrunna-im
5 жыл бұрын
Maybe your standard of friend is just his standard of strangers.
@Anasvet28
5 жыл бұрын
We were best friends for five years :/
@ceddynash5610
5 жыл бұрын
There can be lots of reasons. Whether this makes you feel better or worse, ghosting someone doesn't necessarily mean you don't/didn't care about them. My gf broke up with me, but still wanted to be friends. I actually wanted to be more, but when I knew that could never happen I had to ghost her, because the conversations were hard for us both in different ways and I was never gonna get over her if one of us didn't bow out
@SailorOrbit
5 жыл бұрын
EmployERS are the ones who completely ghost potential employees. It's quite rude.
@Disqualified_Identity
5 жыл бұрын
Ghosting is terrible. Period. Not much of a subject for debate. When somebody loves you and you claim to love them, you can’t just disappear without saying a word. If you choose to do that, it means you were lying to them about loving them and/or you are incapable of being in an adult relationship. Try caring about the feelings of others. A minor inconvenience for you could mean the world to someone else...
@s.ewasiuk7715
5 жыл бұрын
Ghosting is cowardly unless you feel your safety will be threatened.
@ThatChainmecha
5 жыл бұрын
Nah not really, last people I ghosted was a "friend" group, but they were all assholes and selfish. So no, some people don't deserve a respectful leave
@InciniumVGC
5 жыл бұрын
@@ThatChainmecha That's different from ghosting in a long term romantic relationship, think about the psychological impact it has on some random group of "friends" vs someone you've been involved with for years.
@LDuke-pc7kq
5 жыл бұрын
100% agree
@InciniumVGC
5 жыл бұрын
@C Truth It's still cowardly. Having low self esteem may explain doing dickish things but it doesn't excuse it.
@dichael5275
3 жыл бұрын
i got threatenned. thats qhy ighosted my llive in parrner.well done
@breadfan_85
4 жыл бұрын
If someone ghosts you for no reason, then they are damaged. In this way, it acts as a great filter. So if you are ghosted, just be glad because you just dodged a bullet.
@AestheticSloth420
4 жыл бұрын
C o r r e c t
@LordBaktor
5 жыл бұрын
Unless for safety reasons, like getting away from someone physically abusive, I consider ghosting childish, cowardly, lazy and mostly selfish. The only thing that has puzzled me the few times I've been ghosted is "if they are this low of a person, what did I see in them at the start?".
@margomazzeo1680
4 жыл бұрын
Exactly put..I agree..
@Pieruh
2 жыл бұрын
Because people hide what they are, in the beginning
@LordBaktor
2 жыл бұрын
@@Pieruh I call it the one year mask off theory. Unless you are dealing with a sociopath, most people are not able to keep up a perfect deception for longer than a year. After the one year anniversary, if the person was putting up a front, the mask starts cracking and slipping off. In my experience at least.
@cyantulip
5 жыл бұрын
Ghosting is just selfish. You save yourself the relatively small pain of breaking up with someone at the expense of causing a lot of pain, frustration, and distress to that person. How can anyone think that’s acceptable?
@hillarybillary21
5 жыл бұрын
Their only thinking of themselves. Don’t give them that much credit.
@Stormcloakvictory
4 жыл бұрын
@C Truth you tell them how you feel and then you leave. If you're affraid people don't like you, ghosting is a sure ticket to a self fulfilling prophecy in that case. It's borderline narcissistic.
@cookiebob_
4 жыл бұрын
Well put
@marcestinville4118
3 жыл бұрын
I watched this video and I'm now reading the comments. I ghosted my friend for 3 months because he found out that I wasn't all that I seemed to be. I just needed some space. I tried calling back to explain but I found out that he blocked me.
@TheWolfPreys
5 жыл бұрын
It's worse when things seem to be going great, you proclaim your affection and love to someone daily, they seem happy and reciprocating, then they ghost you. Not that it's happened to me 3 times or anything, *not that I have lasting trust issues now, no that'd be silly.*
@theblitz1687
5 жыл бұрын
3 seems too much, maybe your just falling too fast for girls and they are just the kind of people that are bored and having fun playing house.
@TheWolfPreys
5 жыл бұрын
@@theblitz1687 They were relationships, which I never initiated. Maybe I'm just unlucky
@reesedaniel5835
4 жыл бұрын
People that do that are FAKE. You are better off without them.
@NewMessage
5 жыл бұрын
Now I feel bad about ghosting that psychic medium.
@TheCimbrianBull
5 жыл бұрын
ROFL! 🤣 😂 😅
@AleQuag
5 жыл бұрын
You avi makes me anxious
@therapyfornerds6020
5 жыл бұрын
This was an interesting conversation. I like how you mentioned that it is not a new behavior. It just wasn’t as talked about because losing touch with people was easier to do in the past.
@CourtOfWinter
5 жыл бұрын
A friend I had known for over seven years started ghosting me a bit over 2.5 years ago. I still sometimes lie awake at night wondering why. (Even weirder because the last contact we had was them suggesting to meet up in the following week.)
@abnormallynormal8823
5 жыл бұрын
Unseelie I had a girlfriend ask to spend the night that night, then when it hit 7:30 and asked when she planned on coming over, she never responded. That was 3 months ago.
@peterbanderas8184
5 жыл бұрын
That's what happened to me as well. Someone who I considered a close friend, who I knew nearly his whole life and who was basicly adopted in to my family as a brother. Hell he practically saved me when my mom passed and I was about to lose my mind. Well he just up and vanished. We had recently had a couple of road trips and were making plans to hang out again when he just disappeared. At first I wasn't alarmed, because it had sort of happened before, he would not answer calls or respond to emails for a few weeks or months then show back up. No big deal, I am notoriously bad at responding, mostly because I get bust and forget so I don't worry when I don't get a fast response. But when I discovered he had blocked me on social media and blocked my phone number I knew something was wrong. I replayed all the events in the year up to that moment and thought about what went wrong, but couldn't find any answers. It hurt badly and sometimes I get depressed about things that are associated with him, like his birthday or even some places that we used to hang out. And while i lived a few blocks away from him, I avoided going to look for him. But since we lived so closr every once in a while I would bump in to his family, or mutual friends or stumble across some information about him, so I knew he was okay and since then he has become pretty successful (something I knew he would be). I did try and reach out to see if things have changed a few times over the years. But no, for whatever reason he has set his mind up. It hurts every so often, but I accept it. It's been almost 10 years and I still think about him on rare occasion and I always tell stories about the stuff we used to do, mostly because we did a lot of stuff together... Lol! When you get ghosted by someone you care about, it is difficult, but you can't carry the weight of the loss on your shoulders, because it won't change anything and the only person with the answers will never give them to you. It's beter to remember the good times , and move forward. Don't get bogged down with "what if's". Don't think it's necessarily something that you did or could change, that kind of thinking will make you second guess yourself in future relationships, and that's not healthy.
@Saturinus
5 жыл бұрын
@@peterbanderas8184 Did you ever try to ask his family about it?
@peterbanderas8184
5 жыл бұрын
@@Saturinus I considered it, but I decided against it. Firstly, one of the reasons why our relationship was so close is because his relationship with parents was so strained. I won't go in to a lot of details, but let me explain that it was the 90's and at the time a lot of parents relied heavily on medicinal parenting than actual parenting. My friend had some behavioral issues, and with each issue the doctors prescribed new pills. I remember clearly one point where his body was bloated with water retention (he is a really skinny guy and it looked like he had gained 50 lbs over night) and he became lethargic from a bad reaction to some new pills the doctor prescribed. It was almost like his family treated him like he was broken. He shared that feeling with me alot. He most certainly was not broken, infact he is a very bright, funny and creative guy, he used to carry a note book.in his back pocket and when he was bored he would design circuits and mods for various electric devices (his console controler with built in air cooled cup holder actually worked well, although impractical lol). He could go in to fits of rage and become quite destructive, but as he moved away from meds and got older he got those impulses under control (to this day I firmly believe they confused rambunctiousness with ADHD). And while it also seems his parents realized that the medications were a bad idea and the relationship between them improved, he never took them in to his confidence and I know he would not appreciate me using them as a go between. Secondly, my friend must have had his reasons, no I don't understand or know those reasons, but they are still his reasons. As funny as it sounds, our relationship was built off trust and I have to trust that he had good reasons. Doesn't mean I have to like those reasons, but I trust him, so I have to respect that he made the right decision for himself. Adding outside influence would not be a sign of trust. I would ask them about how he was doing or ask them to say hi for me, but I decided that I could/would not use his family as a way to change his mind or reconnect. So tldr: no. Lol
@Saturinus
5 жыл бұрын
@@peterbanderas8184 OK, thanks for the answer. I just don't understand how you can be so accepting of him ghosting you. I just get so bitter when people do that to me.
@TragoudistrosMPH
5 жыл бұрын
The destiny/growth mentality was fascinating; I had never thought of that. Population density is an interesting variable, because I've noticed in metropolitan areas, people seem more likely to treat new people as disposable, than in suburban areas. I wonder if that would play out statistically?
@Xanthelei
5 жыл бұрын
@Kissa Kala Having spent most of my life in a very rural area (lived in a valley with 5 "neighbors" all on acreage), I'm in a weird agree/disagree spot with this. No one ever ghosted anyone else, and we were close knit in the sense that if we needed help, our neighbors would generally try to help if they could and vice versa, but at the same time we could go literal months between interactions with those neighbors, even though 4 of the families lived off the same private road we did and we could see two of those families' houses from our living room. I think in rural areas it's more complex than just "disposable vs not" or "shallow vs deep" interactions. I feel like, at least in my area, going long periods of time without talking was the expected norm, so "ghosting" just wasn't even on the radar as a possibility. It didn't matter how long you "ghosted" a neighbor - they'd never know it was happening unless they actually needed something, and with official help a half hour minimum away, not helping if you could - or not being available should help be needed in an emergency - was never an allowed option. Mind, this is only my observations from my area, so it could be very different in other areas of the world. It did hold through three families moving in/out of the properties and for the better part of 25 years, though. Maybe because it was already the prevailing "way to do things" the desire to fit in just had the new people sliding into that same mindset?
@troodon1096
5 жыл бұрын
"Destiny/growth" mentality is a mental illness. Pure and simple. It's a delusion created by people that are afraid of the responsibility that free will imposes and just hope there's a script for their lives somewhere. Sorry, it's all improv.
@emilysingh3824
Жыл бұрын
My experience with breaking up is they just gaslight and end with tons of insults to you cause toxic people don’t believe they are toxic they think there is something wrong with everyone else. I just ghost people. Don’t have time to go through a list of toxic traits with people. It just makes them angry or hurts there feelings and lots of people never learn, they would rather just die alone.
@abr3703
5 жыл бұрын
Tbh ghosting is one of the worst ways to end relationships and friendships. As someone who has been ghosted and actually done it myself I can say that its awful. Especially when you actually thought things were going great.
@loriwhitbord9860
5 жыл бұрын
What happened to basic courtesy, or respectful kindness. Ghosting can also contribute to unwanted pursuit.
@GW-gz8jh
5 жыл бұрын
There’s a lot of people on here confusing going no contact with an abusive partner with simple dating ghosting. Ghosting happens when someone isn’t mature enough to handle the discomfort of ending a relationship. Has nothing to do with escaping an abusive partner. That’s no contact.
@bjornviitala2435
5 жыл бұрын
Exactly. Also a lot of the ghosting is done by Covert Narcissists and people with other Cluster B type Personalities. Not someone is emotionally mature enough to give you any closure as to how it's affecting you.
@Stormcloakvictory
4 жыл бұрын
@@bjornviitala2435 exactly!
@jacobdriscoll8276
5 жыл бұрын
Ghosting an employer is Fair Play as long as you are an "at-will employee." That's what they signed up for! Ghosting an abuser is OK, too. But ya'll need to Do The Work in a relationship. Ghosting because "it wasn't meant to be" is lazy.
@amykay3813
5 жыл бұрын
So if I don't show up to work one day with no contact, my employer better call someone from my emergency list because I am probably 1. completely incapacitated 2. held hostage or kidnapped, or 3. dead. If it is one of the first two, I hope they send the police for a welfare check because it might save my life. Not quitting is a shitty thing to do. I mean, at least send an email.
@jacobdriscoll8276
5 жыл бұрын
@@amykay3813 At-will employees can be fired with out notice. It's only fair for you to do the same to them, if it suits you to do so.
@Achilles94627
5 жыл бұрын
It's got nothing to do with whether you're a 'destiny believer' or 'growth believer': it's simply about being a decent person. Just cutting contact with someone who you've been in a close relationship/friendship with, without any explanation or discussion, is seriously screwed up. It's symptomatic of a serious personality disorder and/or evidence of a very troubled childhood. We shouldn't just brush it off as "Oh, we're all different and that's just the way some people handle things". No. It is a serious personality defect and should be viewed as such. I could never live with myself if I ghosted somebody - the guilt I would feel would be unbearable. People who ghost seem to lack that conscience or that empathy for other people. It takes 30 seconds to write somebody a text, "Hey, I think you're a great person and I like you a lot, but I don't feel like it's working. But I wish you all the best. God bless". And Send. Done. So easy. You've been open and honest and your conscience is clear. I don't think we should be angry with ghosters - we should just pity them. They're clearly fighting demons we know nothing about.
@khalidbayati4122
5 жыл бұрын
True
@ASMR-XI-ZUI
4 жыл бұрын
If a person has mental illness that can make it very difficult to maintain any kind of relationship. When a person is depressed they become withdrawn and avoid ppl bcoz they r dealing with so much emotional turmoil.
@God.sDaughter
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for mentioning how long it takes to text someone. But again if that someone is special then a person will always find time to respond back. Again it depends on how that other person views you. As special or a waste of time. In my case I guess Is as just a piece of trash that he needed to dispose off. It hurts so bad. And he work 3!minutes away from. Couldn’t give closure or nothing, I got disposed like that by him ghosting.
@Juuxr
3 жыл бұрын
You totally nailed it
@thunderbug
3 жыл бұрын
@@God.sDaughter But remember HE is the ghost. Not you. He's empty and dead inside. I actually think the 'demon' analogy is more apt than people realize. In some cases ghosting is THE most likely way to cause long term pain from ending a relationship. It could literally be a demonic spirit - and a purposeful attempt to cause damage for no reason. Don't let the 'ghost' rub off.
@angusorvid8840
3 жыл бұрын
This makes me so glad to be a GenXer. I don't have to deal with this stuff. Any relationship I've been in the last decade where things stopped working out we either broke up amicably or at least had a genuine sense of closure. Even a millennial in her early thirties I dated for a few years ghosted, then unghosted me, when she forgot something she'd left at my place. I didn't take her that seriously anyways, so I can't say whether true ghosting would have actually disturbed me or not. She wasn't a good ghoster if she was going to pick up her Louboutins, shoes that cost as much as a MacBook Pro. So glad I didn't buy them for her. Now she's calling me again and texting, and I'm ignoring her. Why? Because I think it was immature of her to ghost me in the first place. Does that mean I'm ghosting her now, or merely ignoring her?
@isaiah2810
8 ай бұрын
You dodged a bullet. I’m an elder millennial and women my age and younger are so emotionally immature and entitled it’s like dating an overgrown toddler.
@kristingallo2158
5 жыл бұрын
A guy tried to ghost me and pick me back up, narcs do this. I let him come back, run his game then turned around blocked him and pissed him all the way off. I figured out the game and beat him at it. Know your worth!!!
@TheJiamy
5 жыл бұрын
One of the most painful endings I’ve experienced was when my best friend assured me everything was fine, only to ghost me on all platforms
@TheJiamy
3 жыл бұрын
@Choo Choo wdym
@jamieism
5 жыл бұрын
Any employer that treats you as a robot and not as a human, or pays you less than you need for a good life, deserves to be ghosted. Don’t give them your loyalty or time of day.
@ThatChainmecha
5 жыл бұрын
Yep respect is mutual
@troodon1096
5 жыл бұрын
My employer only cares about me as a source of labor. That doesn't bother me at all, because I only care about them as a source of income. That's the beauty of at-will employment; if either of us becomes unsatisfied with this arrangement, we can end it at any time.
@RialuCaos
5 жыл бұрын
Exactly. Any company that treats you like a resource to be exploited to the maximum extent possible (which is actually most companies) does not deserve any loyalty.
@caragarcia2307
5 жыл бұрын
If it's a temporary position it's not expected for the person to give notice. It's best to call and let them know as it's best not to burn bridges if you don't have to. I am sure sometimes best just to leave and never see them again.
@Yahriel
5 жыл бұрын
on one hand, true. On the other, when you ghost an employer, you're also making things harder for your coworkers - maybe some of whom you are (or soon, were) friends with. They've gotta work harder to make up for your absence, and meanwhile no one really knows if you're just really late, had an emergency, or just didn't want to come in anymore, so it's hard to plan - DO you need to call in an extra person? Does someone who had planned to get out early to pick up their kid now have to work late to cover for you and make other arrangements for their kid? If you don't give a crap about your employer, fine, but think about your coworkers, people who are in the same boat as you.
@ricya1982
5 жыл бұрын
I just got ghosted by my GF of 6 years, yesterday, so this is recent. It's extremely difficult and painful. Very hard to deal with it right now. I hope none of you become victim of it. It's the worse feeling in the world. I feel/felt betrayed and abandoned. Also, if ur in a relationship, don't ghost. Just breakup and be brief, if u must. As a victim of this, all I feel is that "I wasn't worth trying to worth things with. I'm not with the time." I am a person who believe in growth. So, if there was a problem, I could change or try to help it, or overcome it together as a couple. But I can't become a better individual if you just give up on me.
@fidelis1480
4 жыл бұрын
My ex bf of 4 years ghosted me, annoyingly I had tried to break up with him 4 months prior, he wouldn't accept it so I just tried being as annoying as possible to be around, then he ghosted-surprise surprise I guess!!
@wmmv2019
4 жыл бұрын
I feel you. I'm almost married the guy. It hurts but that person has problem engaging his/her emotions. Suggestion for closure: Write a letter to let her know that you understand her decision, it hurts but you understand and you're willing to be a better person for the next chosen one that God meant for you. (This letter you can send it to her address/office/email) **it's not about her...it's about you...FORGIVE YOURSELF move on, better things await😉🙏**
@whitesylveonrose2042
4 жыл бұрын
This is me, with my best friend. It hurts a lot.
@thestar_
4 жыл бұрын
How are you now? I am going through the same situation
@ricya1982
4 жыл бұрын
94liners Namhope appreciate the advice for writing a letter, but that’s not really closure. Closure is actually formally breaking up and not being ghosted. Anyways, whatever works for you. Everyone is different.
@xSTTS
5 жыл бұрын
omg you exposed me when you said that I GHOSTED MY MCDONALD'S INTERVIEW LOL I'm sorry I was having a depressive episode
@InvictusByz
5 жыл бұрын
It's McDonalds, missing that interview may have been a good thing, lol
@cindygiesbrecht3146
5 жыл бұрын
You missed a great opportunity, but hey, they always bet on a few not showing up. That's why they book about 3 people for the same interview time.
@ryansizemore5064
5 жыл бұрын
That is the correct response to a McDonald's interview.
@TheCimbrianBull
5 жыл бұрын
🎶 I'm lovin' it 🎶
@jlaux7
2 жыл бұрын
I can understand most of ghosting - either out of safety, or just simply didn't click. The ones I don't understand are where they're clearly into you, things are going well, and then you get ghosted out of nowhere. There's no logical explanation for it. That bothers the hell out of me.
@aristark559
5 ай бұрын
same here. i think, they were into you, for this specific moment - but later, not enough. and the moment they realize it for themselve, they see what damage they have done, and then they run.
@BaguetteHD
5 жыл бұрын
No mention of conflict avoidance? I'm no expert but I would have thought it absolute that the majority of cases are a result of conflict avoidance...
@deawinter
5 жыл бұрын
Really glad that this mentioned the safety aspect of things. I hate ghosting and far prefer to talk things out, but in situations where having that conversation could be dangerous I don’t like making sweeping statements about how it’s NEVER ok.
@devonharmon2245
Жыл бұрын
The worst is when things are going really good and you seem to be getting along really well and then bam, they block you out of nowhere
@abnormallynormal8823
5 жыл бұрын
Ghosting can be extremely painful for the other person in the relationship. Personally, I have anxiety and trust issues that directly trace back to being ghosted. It’s an intensely cruel thing to put someone through. How do I know you’re not dead? How do I know what I did wrong? How do I know the relationship is over in the first place? How many days of no responses do I have to go through before it’s officially over?
@JorDel_1111
3 жыл бұрын
😣😖😫😩🥺🥺😭😭😭😭
@Kabubi_Habibo
5 жыл бұрын
Would of liked a more depth look into the psychological impacts ghosting has on the other person. A super interesting topic, hope to see more.
@abnormallynormal8823
5 жыл бұрын
quinten p from a sample size of one, ghosting has been a major factor in my trust issues, anxiety, and bi-polar.
@invadinginfidel2195
5 жыл бұрын
quinten p after getting ghosted by my first love of 8 years I can tell you it's a permanent scar! Not a single hour goes by that I don't think of her or how she did me for a few seconds! But everyone has their own reasons for acting how they do! Many lessons learned ! But I learned for true growth it's not adding but taking away that makes you stronger!
@fidelis1480
4 жыл бұрын
@@abnormallynormal8823 Probably a tactic of dismissive avoidant attachment types. High opinion of self, low opinion of others and always searching for flaws however small.
@acetate909
5 жыл бұрын
I'm more scared of getting ghosted than I am of ghosts. Boo!
@dodododododododo8216
5 жыл бұрын
Agreed.
@dodododododododo8216
5 жыл бұрын
Same to me
@janklaas5980
5 жыл бұрын
Getting ghosted is just the worst thing that can happen... It left me with so many unanswered questions 😔
@acetate909
5 жыл бұрын
@@janklaas5980 Would you say that you have some ghost stories? Sorry, bad joke. That really sucks. Some people would rather emotionally scar another person rather than have an awkward conversation. It says more about them than it does about you.
@ThatChainmecha
5 жыл бұрын
You're not afraid of ghosts because all the ghosts ghosted you
@morgansmith334
4 жыл бұрын
Got ghosted after a 7 year friendship. Got off on the wrong foot at the end of the school year. Ghosted me all summer until my birthday after I just unfriended him on all my social media. Still friends but I have a lot of resentment towards him.
@vampeh1
5 жыл бұрын
I learn to do this and use it as my defense mechanism. I am focusing in my career and was disappointed by everyone and everything in my life so I made it easy for me and just pretend everyone I knew didn't exist. Changed emails,phone,adress etc... Dealing with humans is a waste of time for the most part. Been single for almost 20 years now.
@Bondockable
5 жыл бұрын
Have you ever explained to someone why you are breaking up with them and they just keep asking why, no matter how many times you explain to them and then they try to argue or manipulate their way out of it?....This is why there is ghosting.
@enarcmcfly
4 жыл бұрын
Ghosting after attempting to break up with someone who refuses to stop pestering for a "why" that will make it not hurt isn't ghosting... It's holding a boundary. If you're ghosting to avoid the possibility that your partner is going to ask you questions, you're a coward.
@IWillNOTbeShaken70x7
2 жыл бұрын
@@enarcmcfly 🎤 drop..I agree with you 1000%
@isaiah2810
8 ай бұрын
So because some people have done that that makes it justifiable to ghost everyone you break up with? Grow up. All romantic relationships are founded on communication. If you can’t even communicate to someone you’ve been seeing about why your needs aren’t being met or why things aren’t working for you then you shouldn’t even be dating until you get that character flaw sorted out.
@HugDealer
5 жыл бұрын
Ghosting is inherently coward and the person that ghosts probably underestimate the impact that such act has on themselves as well. They are acting selfishly but ghosting will hurt their self esteem too. Plenty of studies show the more fears / uncomfortable situation you face, the more confident and courageous you become. So by ghosting - avoiding even a simple conversation with someone that was kind to you - you are sending to yourself the message that you are a coward with no balls. Which you are, if you ghost, and you'll go deeper and deeper in the cowardice hole each time you once again avoid to face life.
@zgoldluv8480
5 жыл бұрын
What about a friend who ghosts, then sends a text that seems friendly, only to ghosts again right away??? This has happened several times and I am left hurt and confused 😢
@anoukc6928
4 жыл бұрын
My best friend of elementary school ghosted me when we were 23. We were talking on the phone (very normal conversation) but because she was walking outside and it was very cold, she said that she would call me back when she gets home. She never called back and she ignored all my calls. It's been 17 years now. Still don't know why she did such thing. And yes, she made it to her home and she's still alive.
@chxhxhxjxss6894
3 жыл бұрын
I mean if we are not that close you can ghost me I guess but imagine opening up completely to a person, trusting him with your whole heart, always listening him, building a genuine connection, put a lot of time and effort for him and THEN getting ghost by this person out of nowhere huh?
@missxiaodi5112
2 жыл бұрын
I have been ghosted once and I have ghosted several people so got the experience on both sides. Yes it sucks to be on the receiving end, the best way to deal with it is just letting go. And may I say that sometimes, some people deserve to be ghosted. Yes, I ghost out of anger and distain. There are no better punishment in modern society. Sometimes just cutting them off clean is not quite enough.
@simovihinen875
5 жыл бұрын
This video is a bit too short IMO.
@dodododododododo8216
5 жыл бұрын
You need a taller video? Lol
@dodododododododo8216
5 жыл бұрын
Joke
@ThatChainmecha
5 жыл бұрын
The rest of the video ghosted
@flixety7857
4 жыл бұрын
I wasn't in a relationship with this person. We had only known each other for a few weeks. We became close and I fell for him. He told me he loved me and wanted to have a baby with me then ghosted me the next day. It's been a few weeks and still hurts. Just no explanation. I've thought about coming face to face with him. It's hard for me to move on not knowing what happened.
@TruePathLiving
5 ай бұрын
Its so painful. I can't even cry or feel anything. I feel numb and immobile. My best friend and love. I can't wrap my head around this.
@jizzlow123
4 жыл бұрын
If someone Ghost you ... You should be Happy ! Because you dont want this "Human" in you Life 😉
@kitvalentine7593
5 жыл бұрын
Being ghosted is the literal worst feeling, but I have definitely been the culprit myself... multiple times. My reasons though for ghosting people have been 100% purely Anxiety... and anxiety-induced procrastination, leading to procrastination-induced anxiety, and so on and so forth. The thing is, I always feel so incredibly guilty about it, but then the longer I haven't texted them the worse it becomes, until it's definitely too late to text them b/c that would just remind them that i'm awful???? and then they might text me back or worse they wouldn't and look i'm anxious just thinking about it and i'm a terrible person. (disclaimer i was never super close to these ppl anyway like we werent long-time friends/signifinact others or anything, but still).
@unionunicorn6776
Жыл бұрын
I think they would still prefer a text back, even if it’s way late, if only to confirm that it isn’t their worst fear (aka you secretly hate them or something)
@OhmAllOmniOne
5 жыл бұрын
in an abusive relationship with a splayed power dynamic "ghosting" can be one of the only safe ways to escape. The abuser uses the breakup conversation as an excuse to attack the victim for wanting to leave which pretty much always ends in the victim staying, because the abuser broke down their self esteem and determination.
@grainasalt1174
4 жыл бұрын
As someone who’s been ghosted very painful thing. At the first month or so you don’t think much of it. But then it goes on longer and you thinking what YOU could have done and blaming yourself. And then comes this extreme grief that feels like a family member died and you go into a really place. And then comes this extreme rage for the person who ghosted you for not getting closure you needed. And contrary to popular belief, ghosting isn’t just internet exclusive. At least in my case the person would avoid talking and even eye contact with me. If you no longer want a relationship with someone so be it. But if it’s uncomfortable TALK TO THEM. Let them know how you feel and why you want the relationship to end. It’s so much worse if you just leave them without closure and you end up hurting them so much more then if you officially “broke up”. It’s been nearly six months since the “ghosting” began for me and I’m still really torn up about it. Anyway that’s just my thoughts.
@MishelFayad
Жыл бұрын
I noticed this behaviour allot with people I chat with, mostly women, and I was surprised to realise it's something I do as well sometimes. It's basically conflict avoidance. So many (including myself) never learned how to manage a relationship, so to avoid the pain of rejection, they end up things as quite as possible, hence ghosting.
@myspace8399
Жыл бұрын
It is way more painful for the person you are ghosting. A simple rejection will sting, not linger.
@MishelFayad
Жыл бұрын
It depends on the relationship I guess
@curtistinemiller1560
4 жыл бұрын
Ghosters are cowards,what is so devilish about Ghosters,they always try to come back....
@su-enaahleebeautifulcontra3617
5 жыл бұрын
Ghosting works when dealing with a person who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and you want to leave without trouble.
@brokenacoustic
5 жыл бұрын
I definitely fall into the Growth category when it comes to relationships, but I still ghost...my anxiety over conflict trumps a lot of things.
@janklaas5980
5 жыл бұрын
I think ghosting is the worst thing you can do to someone if they dont deserve it. But if someone is a jerk than i can understand that ghosting is neccesary sometimes.
@unclecrusty1991
5 жыл бұрын
well stop. its horrible and abusive.
@brokenacoustic
5 жыл бұрын
@@unclecrusty1991 'Well stop' LOL oh, ok, hang on and I'll just quickly fix the last 25 years of mental issues I've had that have resulted in my ghosting some people....
@nodriveknowitall702
5 жыл бұрын
@@brokenacoustic At some point, the only person who can take responsibility for you, is you. It sucks, it doesn't fix your hangups immediately, but if they are fixable, and you really should assume they are, you're really the only one who will fix them eventually. Yes, everything is infinitely more complicated than "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" but it's a mentality worth fostering.
@brokenacoustic
5 жыл бұрын
@@nodriveknowitall702 sorry, i dont take advice about my personal issues from total strangers online who know nothing about me but a few sentences.
@axley444
2 жыл бұрын
There's another kind of ghosting that I have been through: It's when a person responds and texts you often and you think everything is going perfect but in a social situation, the person seems to not even notice you there and continue talking to their own friends or completely disregard your attempt to start a conversation in every way. Online ghosting has been talked about a lot but real life ghosting should get more limelight. If this happens to you, please BLOCK that person and let them talk to you offline. They will be talking to you online and ignoring you in person so you have to avoid that under any circumstances. So block, and see how they come up starting a conversation with you and PLEASE DON'T THINK THEY ARE YOUR FRIENDS. Mostly these people are narcissists and you deserve better so don't beat yourself up, you deserve better. A lot better.
@LadyUnicornEJG
5 жыл бұрын
The one thing that seems to stand out form the rest is the part about not communicating with a _potential_ employer. Often there's just not much to communicate there. Dozens of applications or resumes get sent out to different places, someone gets a job or decides they aren't interested anymore, and that's it. The flip side has a ton of applicants quite often, too, and absolutely will just not contact many of them (even after interviews) but that didn't get labeled the same for some reason. When it comes to simply _potential_ jobs I think busy/overwhelmed makes plenty of sense either direction, and it seems a bit different from any other case mentioned (and certainly different from just vanishing from work).
@tsareric1921
5 жыл бұрын
I've been ghosted by the person I consider my best friend. (He clearly didn't agree) I'm also currently ghosting a friend turn a**hole. If your never going to see them again and they are an undeniable bad person, I think it fine. Otherwise an explanation is needed or it just going to be awkward if you see them again and they didn't take the hint.
@mongislort6440
5 жыл бұрын
They take the hint. They are just desperately needing the closure that you are not giving.
@nattygsbord
5 жыл бұрын
Tsar, I have been through exactly the same thing. And it feels just like a waste of time to explain to this childish person to why he needs to change his behaviour. He is an adult and there are simply no excuses anymore that he could treat other people by other standards than than himself. And not spreading secrets and mocking a friend in public are things that simply doesn't need any explanation why they are wrong. If a person is too stupid to understand that, then I am just wasting my time trying to learn him things. These are simple basic rules of etiquette. People should not have to be instructed on very self-evident things like this, or why you should not should not start pooping before you have put the toilet seat up. I think he deserves to feel guilt and regret and whatever for the rest of his life. If he wants a friend, then he should start acting like one.
@Vuadanee
5 жыл бұрын
@@nattygsbord that's all fine and dandy, but wishing regret and guilt upon him for his entire life?? jeez
@andilee9666
4 жыл бұрын
I was ghosted by someone I barely knew, but I'd put such a vast emotional investment into him it messed me up for years. The first year, I just winced with acute emotional pain whenever I thought about him. People don't understand reacting so deeply to it. I still hurt. I can't imagine how terrible it must be mid-relationship to have this happen.
@juliaskagfjord6207
2 жыл бұрын
i just had one date and i was in such a positive mental space brought super good energy, anyways he ghosted me after date one because on day 2 after the date I felt some after date anxiety and expressed past trauma of being ghosted via text. Well then he ghosted me. It shattered me to a good degree. I think sometimes in life if you put your heart out there totally, you just dont expect to be rejected so hard. Also was just at a point in time I really needed a friend, have been unemployed for a while and too much time, so sort of compounded things. I have decided to quit dating online hopefully for the rest of this year. If being ghosted after 1 date takes me down so hard that I fall into a depression after suffering weeks of grief and internal emotional pain, may as well live single for the rest of my life than endure more dates.
@tamasposta6178
2 жыл бұрын
Girls, read this please; If you talk to a guy for a while or even met him and you don't feel like meeting him anymore please be straightforward and don't ghost him. You may think that you avoid drama by this but it's the most hurtful thing you can do to a guy. When I got a rejection text I was relieved that at least it's official and I can move on. After you rejected them in a straightforward way you can ghost but not before. I get more and more resilient to it because I know that some girls just don't have the spine but you shouldn't put guys through this unnecessarily.
@EnliveningJustice
Жыл бұрын
Same in reverse
@alinkuri4429
Жыл бұрын
Sometimes it does not matter explaining why you need to stop a friendship or a relationship. Some people don't deserve any explanation. They have been so self centered or terrible that the only way is to leave them plainly;; trying to explain would be just mentally exhausting
@shell1756
11 ай бұрын
It's pure cowardice as far as I'm concerned and a disrespectful thing to do to someone.
@MadeinHell2
5 жыл бұрын
I have ghosted a person because of personal embarrassment, I owed them money and didn't have a way to repay. They were understanding but I couldn't take the pressure of self loathing from myself so I just ended contact without even realising I did it until about a year in. The more time passes the more embarrassed I am about the ghosting itself, because I wasn't even fully conscious of doing it at the time. I'm hoping to get in contact with that person eventually and apologise. I don't know if that will fix our relationship, but at least I'll have apologised.
@Vuadanee
5 жыл бұрын
better pay them back too D:
@balletshoes
4 жыл бұрын
Ghosting is a clear sign of immaturity and cowardness, sugarcoated as much as you like, but that is all there is to it.
@Stormcloakvictory
4 жыл бұрын
It's borderline narcissistic
@ziggyflame6988
Жыл бұрын
I ghosted 2 people last year,not because I’m immature but because after talking to them, they still continued to stab me in the back and caused me a lot of drama and rumors. I don’t have time for that,in fact no one does and no one should put up with that. I think it’s silly that people find it immature to ghost after you have talked to that person about how they did you wrong. Another reason why I ghosted was that I’ve been struggling with an auto immune desease and once I got really sick, all the parties stopped. I used to throw parties a lot and have my friends over but when I got sick they never bothered to even ask me if I’m ok or invited me out for coffee. All they cared enough to ask me about is if I was going to have parties 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ I gave them a chance but when bad things happen to you,is when you realize who your real friends are and we are grown enough to know our own actions, so I don’t think I need to explain myself to them the many times they did me wrong when it’s literally all common sense. I didnt wanted to argue or have any rumors spreading about she said this and that, the “she said” game is so childish and I much rather apart myself from that. In fact all that silly drama mind games is not even good for one’s health…you just sometimes really need to cut people off for your own good because there’s a lot of fake people. Sometimes those people don’t understand how toxic they are.
@AssUnderFire
4 жыл бұрын
The most damaging thing you can feel when you get ghosted, is the feeling that you have a very low value as a person. A value that is so low, that people wont feel bad if they just ignored you. Ofcourse, thats only a feeling...but feelings are important and they can really have the capacity to destroy peoples lives sometimes.
@Ivanzter
3 жыл бұрын
Really?
@karenwolfe5012
3 жыл бұрын
i was just ghosted by what i thought ws a friend..after only a month..and it hurt so bad and still hurts after 5 months
@limalicious
5 жыл бұрын
I've ghosted on a number of people in the past--at the time it was just straight across the board everyone in my life minus my immediate family and job because I was severely clinically depressed.
@kill3rclown690
11 ай бұрын
thats not an excuse though in my opinion u can hurt the people who love and care about u by doing that
@tallgirlhappyme
3 жыл бұрын
⏩ Ghosting strikes me as *an immature way* to *not deal* with something *uncomfortable.* *Ending relationships,* regardless of type, *is part of life.*
@AmberyTear
5 жыл бұрын
Seems like most of the time it's just being a coward but I understand how this could help many people. I'm ghosting my very toxic sociopathic relative right now.
@thunderbug
3 жыл бұрын
I don't see it as ghosting if the person is abusive. Ghosting is where the person did nothing wrong.
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