Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator digitalinvestigate@gmail.com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...
@mday3821
8 ай бұрын
What sucks is when an elderly narcissistic parent abuses you, however, no one believes you and feels sorry for the elderly parent!
@AlexLouiseWest
8 ай бұрын
I believe you.
@blackMZworld
8 ай бұрын
I believe you, too.
@jameshunt6414
8 ай бұрын
I think this happens more than any of us realise.
@tedfinkelberg
8 ай бұрын
I am also a victim of this same problem. You can be assured you are not alone.
@ivangeo3319
8 ай бұрын
Yes.. Loss of credibility made walk with head down not because embarrassed but try to avoid their accusations. How to know, their eyes. Their staring eyes.
@حنانعبدالله-ز9ص
8 ай бұрын
I think the worst thing a narcissist can do to you is convincing you that you are the bad person
@thenativeconservationist
8 ай бұрын
I believed that, plus he’d already started the smear campaign early on dating and made sure to isolate me. God saved me and reminded me who I am. The more I fell in love with God the more he (the narc) collapsed. 🙏🏽
@thenativeconservationist
8 ай бұрын
The truth will always come out! The truth is the truth!
@David-eu1ms
8 ай бұрын
three things cannot be hidden for long, the sun, the moon, and the truth.
@corysmith3447
8 ай бұрын
no lies are stronger than ever look at 90% of youtube and news@@thenativeconservationist
@Conscious58
8 ай бұрын
I think worse than that is cause you to have auto-immune diseases, to have low-self esteem, toxic shame & believe ur not worthy of love (or any romantic relationships at all), isolate/control you, emotionally & verbally abuse you while being 2-faced to every one else, living hypervigilantly knowing they are not for you/lack of praise, support validation & unconditional love....the list truly does go on...
@dangelodiane
8 ай бұрын
PS: If you go into therapy, make sure the therapist is not only trauma-informed, but narcissism-informed. Especially if you're dealing with a communal narcissist.
@lt827
8 ай бұрын
13:15 “If you’re really lucky, they will find a new target.”That’s really sad that the best we can do is have someone other person suffer instead of us.
@HJustme855
8 ай бұрын
Agreed 💯
@joshk147
8 ай бұрын
Thats definitely more morbid than the truth. Its not your responsibility to replace yourself, and it's certainly not your fault when the narc finds a new "supply."
@lt827
8 ай бұрын
@@joshk147 not what I meant. You are inferring self blame when I meant none.
@nicoledburns82
8 ай бұрын
I completely agree and would rather take the brunt of the narcs abuse than pass on to someone else. I have an issue with being ok just pushing abusive behaviour to someone else.
@sushmayen
8 ай бұрын
Nothing is more sadder than a broken family and all because the narc cannot be honest and transparent.
@mday3821
8 ай бұрын
And because they are competitive with their own children & spouse...let's not forget how selfish they are.😢
@Greenawareness188
8 ай бұрын
@@mday3821 Thanks , I was just dealing with a competitive narcissist . Any more thoughts on that ?
@Greenawareness188
8 ай бұрын
@sushmayen , Yes , Narcissists cause perpetual pain .
@Gonzo3313
8 ай бұрын
its all their faults right? lol...yeah right....
@user-wm5jc3vl1y
8 ай бұрын
Are you sure of what you share in this comment. What may be the capabilities the narcissistic person use to broke a whole family ?
@ClezVideos
8 ай бұрын
My ex was violent, emotionally abusive & abusive in many other ways. He was extremely irresponsible with money and spent it with wild abandon. I used to hide money so I could cover bills, mortgage, childcare etc. I was accused of financial abuse 🙄 Not a penny did I spend on myself while he spent everything we had but me trying to keep the bills paid was ‘abuse’.
@aleshahatch775
8 ай бұрын
I feel so validated. I was told by my narc boyfriend of 10 years and 3 children, how a narc is actually a good thing bc a narc is looking out for themselves and thats healthy bc you need to take care of you first, so you can take care of others after. Problem was, he never took of anyone but himself. Thank you for your channel!
@sarahcinnamonthriving9563
8 ай бұрын
Resonates... Takes a while to realise their hypocrisies and inconsistencies in their never actually aligning their words with actions that match these claims (as IS classically Narcissistic). Keys to the concept of your rights and responsibilities to look out for your own self first: It's about valuing AUTHENTIC actual WELL-BEING with Healthy Boundaries, including self-aware growth over fixed mindsets and habits to adjust for all the variables of our ever evolving ages and stages... It's about valuing mutually fulfilling life and well-being balanced equitably WITH OTHERS' we supposedly value. Narcissistic people do not "get" or value most of that: □ Authenticity... Nope... Does not compute: File not found. □ Consistency... Nope: except to be Consistently INconsistent.... Run file error. □ valuing MUTUAL positives... Synchronization cannot be completed. □ Honest/ authentic self-aware growth mindset... Operating System cannot run this function. They distort, twist, weaponise, and flip-flop on all positives- even decent established life advice.
@xXNoMoralzXx
8 ай бұрын
The coercive control is real. I can admit to my wrongdoings, but what they did was vicious and cruel in a way I'm incapable of being. I'm done allowing the false narrative. I should have documented everything. I should have gone to the police, and gotten a lawyer. I'll face any consequences I have to, but know that they ruined my life and I deserved better.
@xXNoMoralzXx
8 ай бұрын
I wish I had someone I could really trust back then. I don't have any documentation.
@xXNoMoralzXx
8 ай бұрын
over 10 years ago and I believe I'm still seeing consequences
@tonipapillon9556
8 ай бұрын
All we can do is try to cope day to day. You (we) did the best we could. Don't beat yourself up.
@Beecosy
8 ай бұрын
There are no guarantees. We went to all the authorities but did not realise they were the problem as well, as they knew my toxic in law. Trust no one.
@xXNoMoralzXx
8 ай бұрын
@@sherrydickie8459 Honestly, my take is that you are not the parent but you seem to feel entitled to that role. Even if you have good intentions, you're willing to go to court to try to gain access to the kid. You seem not to be able to consider the idea that you could have impacted the relationship through action or inaction, pointing to the mother's father instead. Knowing nothing else I cannot fault your daughter.
@TeresaDeM
8 ай бұрын
My advice is run!!! Run away and let the truth expose itself. Proving yourself is tiring. I’m over it. Truth always prevails.
@jessicaabbott10
8 ай бұрын
YES!!!! The proof is in the pudding. My sister is narcissistic and created multiple hate pages in my name, turning nearly everyone in my life at the time (including employers and college professors) against me, all to damage my reputation at a time when I was trying to get my life together, and left all her hate content up *publicly* for nearly a decade. There was nothing I could do but ignore it. There was no sense in trying to convince anyone at that point because people were TOO convinced that she was telling the truth. So I told myself that if anyone is weak-minded enough to be endoctrinated by all of that to let them see her true side for themselves, which most of them did in time.
@yukio_saito
8 ай бұрын
Yes. 🏃♀💨💨
@Conscious58
8 ай бұрын
Amen
@lisahill182
8 ай бұрын
Absolutely True!!
@TeresaDeM
8 ай бұрын
@@jessicaabbott10 you got this heal move on and stay far away that’s what I’m doing 💯💯💯
@deniseclaeys8295
8 ай бұрын
"The fight is a tool of regulation for them..." I love when Dr Ramani drops gems like this!
@FaithfulandTrue949
8 ай бұрын
Totally, they want you on their terms, professional fighters. Just say no
@DeeDee-oi6pb
8 ай бұрын
I had to leave an elderly narcissist client who I took care of for 10 years because it was affecting my health. I made sure our last conversation was recorded. After listening to it several times, I wondered why I took all that crap for so long. In the beginning I thought she was a nice, generous person, man was I wrong! Thanks for all your guidance! ❤
@averagejane09
8 ай бұрын
Sorry for your experience. It is amazing how they can seem so nice and generous in the beginning and even at points throughout.
@shelleyg218
8 ай бұрын
This aught to be the #1 subject in high school!
@1948rambo
8 ай бұрын
One thing they’re not looking for… the truth! You really see their cruelty there!
@pinkmeadows
8 ай бұрын
yep exactly!
@jessicaabbott10
8 ай бұрын
It’s like they’re allergic to the truth!!
@HJustme855
8 ай бұрын
The truth is last thing they can cope with💯
@graemesutton2919
4 ай бұрын
Their inability to see or deal with the truth is part of their delusional.
@montena369
8 ай бұрын
Yep it's crazy how the narc calls you the narcissist 🤣 just happened to me in custody court with my daughter now they only want me to be a mom when they want a break smh it's so sad 😢 five years of abuse and my child is in kindergarten so you can only imagine how hard it was for me
@pinkmeadows
8 ай бұрын
I now find myself using the D.E.E.P technique and cobstantly documenting when im faced down from various people with rumors or questions about said situation. I try to move as quiet as possible. This can me draining and sometimes difficult. My heart goes out to people suffering from this madness. ❤🙏
@JAYNEmM1962
8 ай бұрын
Before I knew what narc was I was very reactive. Which bolstered my husband's victimhood. I had no idea ,then started hearing things .he goes out in our tiny community and plays word salad and since 9 when his mother died of cancer used it as a personality trait. He was frail hah yah right. He can play that quiet game really well. Took me yrs to identify all the games I was blamed in. We were never partners I was an emotional puppet. No more.
@jsmithsemper4848
8 ай бұрын
It took me a long time to figure out how reactive I was. And the shit really hit the fan when I decided to stop reacting & instead start publishing my own stream of consciousness 😂🎉
@JustaNobody-j8x
8 ай бұрын
One of the worst things that a narcissist can do to you is to convince everyone that you are the narcissist, and that they are the victim. There have been many innocent people wrongfully labeled a narcissist and had their reputation destroyed all because of a false narrative constructed by a narcissist.
@pinkmeadows
8 ай бұрын
ikr 😞 just pure madness.
@PrettyPennyTV
8 ай бұрын
An ex boyfriend did this to me with my friend group(with 4 other narcs), and my narc family. No contact does not even begin to clean this mess.
@user-wm5jc3vl1y
8 ай бұрын
Tanks you for your comment but what may be the arguments use by a narcissistic person to convince the others?
@darcyroyce
8 ай бұрын
@@user-wm5jc3vl1y your initial reaction to their usually, covert abuse. That's what we call reactive abuse - you'll shout back, curse back, and they'll use that to point out to everybody '' see?? i told you she's crazy and dangerous, just lashing out, when,i didn't do anything to her''
@user-wm5jc3vl1y
8 ай бұрын
@@darcyroyce are you sure your message is for me ?
@Steve197201
8 ай бұрын
That's excellent advice about not using psychological terms with anyone you're trying to convince. Instead, just tell them what the narcissist did and document it, and state how this harmed you.
@jsmithsemper4848
8 ай бұрын
Psychological verbiage DOES lose a ton of validity when not coming from a licensed clinician!
@warrenbradford2597
8 ай бұрын
I tried using psychological terms with intern therapist before to describe my narcissistic mother. He assumed that I am dealing a self-aware narcissist and says knows many narcissists are self-aware, assuming I do not know about them. He even told me she is just pretending she not a narcissist and disagreed with when I told she is avoiding getting the help she, because the system is broken. He told me I should call her out of being narcissist, even though she going to do lovebomb, gaslight, and terrible things Dr.Ramani said when I do that. This therapist who is "licensed clinical psychologist himself" does not get any Dr.Ramani said and realize he was contradicting what other psychologist told me. Having to work with was terrible for me.
@costelloandlizzievolk2233
8 ай бұрын
Super disheartening. I no longer can have these people in my life. It’s sad but I’d rather be on my own. My health matters too. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
@teresadvorak6145
8 ай бұрын
Yes, Abraham Lincoln said " its far better to be alone, than in bad company". He is so right 😅 ❤ ❤
@greywolf6146
8 ай бұрын
When things started to break down with my narcissist they started using all these terms I was not familiar with like 'toxic' and 'boundaries'. I never heard of this stuff. Toxic to me was a term used in the context of weed killer. It was then I started to educate myself and this channel was a big part of it. Then it dawned on me that this was not this person's first rodeo.
@octoberdawn1087
8 ай бұрын
This. Literally I started learning about narcissism because my ex kept calling everybody else a narcissist. His boss, all of his co-workers, anybody! I was wondering if my sister was one.. but then I was like, oh my god I am living with one and I have to get out.
@alena.709
8 ай бұрын
My narcissistic sister became a psychologist and is a therapist now. I hope that she gets only narcissists as a clients.
@wildhorses6817
8 ай бұрын
They get Interns who they can control, abuse and destroy. There are many of these creatures in the field of psychology, beware.
@HJustme855
8 ай бұрын
Unfortunately narcissistic therapists cause a lot of damage and I wish their clients were narcissistic. Unfortunately it's not often the case.
@mwxyz828
8 ай бұрын
Yep, I’ve met a narcissistic therapist. It was traumatizing.
@averagejane09
8 ай бұрын
Oh God. That is awful. The worst profession for that personality.
@lisaatkinson6276
8 ай бұрын
My narc sister doesn’t have a degree and thinks she’s a psychologist and smarter than everyone. She’s the one I first heard calling other people narcissists. Now I totally understand projection and narcissism.
@eileenmarter6993
8 ай бұрын
I lost my temper one time and she taped it showed it to cops and other family members
@EmpressAngelE
8 ай бұрын
Same, I was recorded
@DitDot55
8 ай бұрын
A protracted smear campaign against me has been waged by the Golden Child/Raging Narcissist, when I finally put up a firm boundary on demands made. Many connections are forever lost now because of it. It's so unfair, and it's taking forever to "get over it" emotionally.
@Ina-wn7jd
8 ай бұрын
I'm the scapegoat. I'm just starting to pull away from narc parents. It's very difficult. Our culture always favors the parent.
@Ina-wn7jd
8 ай бұрын
The smear campaign is unbelievable
@Ina-wn7jd
8 ай бұрын
It's really unfair 😢
@dyanberg6263
8 ай бұрын
Yes absolutely My ex husband went to see a psychologist and had him write a diagnosis on myself from what he said. The psychologist made a diagnosis based on his words without ever meeting me. The second reading was painful because it showed how much he was confused between both personalities. He had introjected so much of my traits he really believed He was me. Crazy crazy
@robinantonio8870
8 ай бұрын
Yep. Had that happen in court. Shrink took every lie she told him as truth, said shit about me without ever meeting me. Extremely unprofessional and damaging. I wrote him a letter saying did he feel good knowing be helped a narcissist further screw her victim.
@judithflom6366
8 ай бұрын
Wow, extremely unprofessional. I wonder if your ex could have forged it?
@robshorts
8 ай бұрын
I would say that many narcissists win arguments on pure absurdity. The jaw dropping, invented rubbish that the narcissistic family member in my life comes out with is so absurd you would have to step into her world to win.
@HJustme855
8 ай бұрын
They are so often absurd. It's how they get the better of their victims. Their victims aren't grandiose and far more practical.
@JeannineStedman
8 ай бұрын
Word salad!
@farmboypresents9977
8 ай бұрын
I don't believe anything they say now. They lost all credibility with bs. It's hard to know what others think.
@cairosilver2932
8 ай бұрын
I'd think she makes it look like you could win if you step into her world, as a form of bait. It's a trap.
@jumpinjohnnyruss
8 ай бұрын
Very true. Have a look at Paul Grice's maxims for conversation: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooperative_principle The narcissist seeks to defy these maxims as much as possible to throw the conversation into disarray and neutralize the collaborative power of the best tool humans have invented (language). The better an idea I've gained of how a constructive conversation should go, the more understandable narcissists have become to me.
@1948rambo
8 ай бұрын
They can weaponize anything!
@daykibaran9668
8 ай бұрын
Yes, also things you wouldn’t think they can weaponize against you, they will weaponize it against you
@Jonnie-qc7tk
8 ай бұрын
My divorce attorney’s legal assistant was just as bad narcissist. Every red flag was on the field. I told everybody a narcissist was handling my narcissist. I was back into that horrible relationship. I think she was colluding with my ex. I was financially abused. The attorney should be disbarred. No attorney will take my case for attorney malpractice. I will keep looking. He painted me horribly. I’ve lived on the other side on the country and nobody sees me the real me. Not a soul would agree with his narrative. It feels great and really helps fight him. I know who I am so I can dismiss his lies.
@thenativeconservationist
8 ай бұрын
God knows you! He will vindicate you 🙏🏽
@tulipoplar87
8 ай бұрын
Yea, when I was still with my narcissist, information about narcissism was just starting to be available. I guess he started doing research bc he began saying things like he feels that he needed to “constantly walk on eggshells around me, bc I get angry a lot,” even though my anger was from holding in constant disappointment, being ignored (he ignored everything about me, including my basic knowledge, and doing so has actually put our lives at risk and caused property damage), and/or having boundaries crossed even if I explicitly stated my boundaries, or being negatively judged for basically normal behavior under the guise of comedy. Once he told me that I was being abusive for yelling at him to brush his hair and that “he would not be talked to like that,” (he had just cut off a giant rat nest sized knot of hair for the second time in 5 years… he kinda needed to brush… and I asked him to do so kindly at first before yelling, and had actually never really mentioned anything about his lack of hair care prior), or that me throwing an empty pack of smokes at him (once) was abusive even though I never called him out on his tendency to actually yell and throw large breakable objects near me. It becomes very very confusing and guilt inducing once the narcissist starts doing research and playing the victim.
@amazinglife0222
8 ай бұрын
YES this is TRUE! I just experienced this. I am in therapy trying to figure out all the confusion
@ArmyRanger483
8 ай бұрын
Omg.you are so correct. I've experienced it. I knew after a while when I realized I was with a narcissist. I started to research it to see if the things that my partner was doing to me had a name and I realized she was a real narcissist. Then I made the mistake and shared one of your videos. OmG after that she started putting on her pages things like" surviving a Narcissistic relationship". " How to get away from an Narcissistic" Etc. she's never said a word about Narcissistic people till I realized she was 100 percent a Narcissist and confronted her about it. But after that she done her home work and had me questioning myself for a minute. But I got away from her and its been a couple years and she's still posting things on the web about Narcissist and toward me the Ex all the time, making til tok videos about Narcissism and about me. How long is this going to go on? And thank you from Rich , MD USA
@1948rambo
8 ай бұрын
And their mental derangement. Geez!
@samanthapotts9241
8 ай бұрын
Endurance yes and it does energize them
@homefryniles3983
8 ай бұрын
It's really invaluable that you teach just how dark and irredeemable the worst narcissists can be, and the psychopaths. Psychopaths are even more disbelieved than narcissists by most people. People just don't accept psychopathy because they really don't think and feel the way they do and can't imagine, etc. the narcissist and psychopath take on the words, ideas in psychology and use them diabolically. Thank you!
@phoenixrising4768
8 ай бұрын
Have you read the books, METAMORPHOSIS by Kafka and "I NEVER PROMISED YOU A ROSE GARDEN"? I read them as a kid, and now I wonder if Kafka's parents were Narcs, for his to turn into a bug in the book. Also, in "I never promised you a rose garden" the girl who is mentally challenged talks about all the stuff happening inside her head, because there is no one who would believe her. So, she accepts their narrative that she is mentally challenged and gets admitted into the mental hospital, because there is where she finds peace and resolution, away from her tormentors. As an adult I get it now.
@Thanks-Again
8 ай бұрын
Omg hahaha yes I have - this is exactly how mine took all of our acquaints with her as she divorced me, she also tried to gaslight me into believing I was the problem, all while living a parallel life with another man and his kids!
@t_nels
8 ай бұрын
Yes, you truly have to understand Narcissism inside and out to work to work to a healthy change. Whereas it is a lawyers cash cow.
@TrentReeves-c2k
8 ай бұрын
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
@TrentReeves-c2k
8 ай бұрын
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
@TrentReeves-c2k
8 ай бұрын
If you look up Shelly Renee White online, you will find all the information you need. Thank you.
@Greenwings701
8 ай бұрын
There is NOT always a solution. Bad stuff is not always a phase or misunderstanding.
@znaz4745
8 ай бұрын
😭😭😭 narcissists are too much to deal with.
@HJustme855
8 ай бұрын
Narcissist's weaponise narcisism against those who aren't narcissistic.
@willygates
8 ай бұрын
One thing I disagree with is not talking to anyone. I think its important to have a group of people to talk to break through cognitive dissonance.
@sabinevonbank2606
8 ай бұрын
So true! In fact this is the only method 11:53 that helped me to stay sane
@cindyrhodes
8 ай бұрын
I have a cousin who is a flaming narc, and, of course, she labels anyone who doesnt bow to her wishes as a narc. I cant stand beung around her.
@samanthapotts9241
8 ай бұрын
Document alll communicates they push buttons
@cherylbeyer2362
8 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video. Going through this right now, complete with the triangulation, flying monkeys and toxic enablers. So hard, so unfair.
@HJustme855
8 ай бұрын
Me too. Keep strong. Even knowing what narcissism is doesn't make it easier or less baffling deal with.
@pikon222
8 ай бұрын
I am going through this right now.
@STRONGfamVALUEZ
8 ай бұрын
They won't let u bring up Narcissistic abuse in family court in Montgomery county Pennsylvania. Especially because the CPS worker I had is a malignant narcissist so they wouldn't let me talk about it. It's absolutely insane.
@sabinevonbank2606
8 ай бұрын
😮😢
@user-wm5jc3vl1y
8 ай бұрын
Are you sure of what you shared in your comment ?
@STRONGfamVALUEZ
8 ай бұрын
@@user-wm5jc3vl1y as sure as ur trying to gaslight, lol 🤣🤣🤣 bye BOT
@user-wm5jc3vl1y
8 ай бұрын
@@STRONGfamVALUEZ how do you recognize a bot on KZitem Chanel ?
@STRONGfamVALUEZ
8 ай бұрын
@@user-wm5jc3vl1y ur right. Ur just ignorant 😑 😂 have fun with that. #Godisgood
@sarahcinnamonthriving9563
8 ай бұрын
Seriously, THIS vid's comment section is AS powerfully valuable as the video! I have been following Dr. R and others on these topics for at least 2 yrs now, and the comments' sharing just gets better as more of us get awareness. THIS vid and comments are GOLDEN because they hit on just how absurdly confusing and dishonestly delusional they make life.
@theguynextdoor4978
8 ай бұрын
The "Karen" is the perfect example of this. She is right, even when she's not, and 400 sources of evidence can't convince her that she's wrong. . Rules are for other people, and not even the law rules over Karen (in her own mind).
@wendyfitch625
8 ай бұрын
Dr Ramani, I would love to see a video on why some Narcissistic people get degrees in counseling? My adult daughter and I were extremely close until she went to a psychologist in her mid thirties who told her I was a bad mother. That was 10 years ago and our relationship is now pretty much non existent. I had to go to a year of grief counseling to come to terms with this loss. Several years after earning her bachelor's degree, and after her therapy, she went back to school and earned her Masters degree in counseling. She has never used the degree because she said she couldn't make enough money. Her father was a narcissist, who I left after 26 years of marriage and her personality parallels his.
@FaithfulandTrue949
8 ай бұрын
My aunt has great counsellor skills, can turn tears on & off at the drop of a hat. Fooled me for years till I became the target! D A N G E R O U S 🚩 They will help you become dead and buried, then throw shade on your character at the wake with back handed compliments such as... "relative said your relative could never have achieved what I achieved because of x, y & z problems, BUT I said yes they could have if they had tried even though they struggled with x, y, z" Take your foot off my head so I can save myself from drowning!! Pure evil.
@CrazyWario16
8 ай бұрын
Evan Rachel Wood is such a narcissist
@annalynsheffield8919
8 ай бұрын
Yes! My ex tried to convince me that I was a narcissist, citing things I had said prior as evidence (like when I told him I didn't understand what it really meant when he said he loved me because of his seeming opposite actions. He said I didn't understand love because I was a narc). He went on to say that he loved me any ways and would stick with me despite my problems. The funny/interesting thing was this all happened on Mother's Day. That Mother's day was not a happy or peaceful one.
@moniquejackson7741
8 ай бұрын
Brilliant. Wow. Just when I start to think these videos couldn't get any better.
@tracymarrow7841
8 ай бұрын
The most typical example of a narcissist who read a lot about narcissism and then weaponized it is Evan Rachel Wood. Oops! Didn't YOU give her a platform?
@kerimorgan6665
8 ай бұрын
Didn’t even realize this was going on until this week. It’s like having every emotion devalued all over again and a fresh slap in the face.
@marieborchardt2910
8 ай бұрын
Wow, listening to this, I realize how easy I got off in severing at least one narcissistic relationship. I'm thankful it didn't end in court, it very easily could have. Another traumatic ending didn't end in court, but I lost people I love and I doubt they'll ever realize the truth.
@jared2859
8 ай бұрын
This was so enlightening and validating. I am a public defender, and there is a narcissist I have to work with in the prosecutor's office. She "baits" me so much, often doing something really horrible to my clients, then ignoring me until I do something to fight back. Then she plays the victim, acting like I'm bullying her because I call her bad behavior out in court. I've been watching your channel for like a year, but was just not recognizing it for some reason. Thank you!
@matthewwozniak9138
8 ай бұрын
This is really 👍good stuff. I keep my lawyer on hand online, just in case.😎
@samanthapotts9241
8 ай бұрын
Wow lkr realllly used fb no one understood why now I see Covert NARCISSIST lkr
@Saraflowerk
8 ай бұрын
They're getting worried most people won't take their love bombing anymore. And that's true how arguing is like their decadent chocolate cake.
@genevalawrence801
8 ай бұрын
During our marriage, my ex asked me to take responsibility for managing our bank accounts and bill paying. During the divorce, he tried to assert that I was being controlling with money. Fortunately, I had saved the written message in which he asked me to take responsibility for our day to day finances, so he wasn't able to make his false assertion stick. Keep everything written, in a password protected place, with names and dates. If they ask you for something, confirm in writing, so you can show how the thing actually went down. When you're trying to get free, you'll need it. The narcissist is not constrained by a need to behave with integrity.
@lt827
8 ай бұрын
This is enough to make me want to become a hermit. My narcissistic ex was so good at baiting me after my long day at work when I was exhausted (because he decided to come to bed at 2 am and woke me up. Unless I put all my energy into managing my emotions, his behaviour made me angry.
@averagejane09
8 ай бұрын
Yeah, it is amazing how inconsiderate they are and then you are the bad guy for having understandable anger. Mine wakes me up a lot too. One time, I literally came to bed saying I felt queasy....which I did...and he immediately rolled on top of me...like what? who does that? It is always up to us to manage our emotions and walk on eggshells to not offend their delicate egos. Exhausting.
@pauliecook432
8 ай бұрын
Who needs this great woman's great expertise but can't afford it 😅 ❤
@Stewart-zk1fg
8 ай бұрын
Thanks it's difficult to be pragmatic in these situations.
@DanielleCapichano
8 ай бұрын
Everything said just before 2:16, I absolutely agree. My mother once screamed at me not for one, not for two, not for even a few hours. She hollered for 7 hours on end before I had to call law enforcement to get her to back down and let me in past the front step of the house so I could sleep, so to wake up at 3:00 a.m. for the job that was keeping the household afloat. All because I had the audacity to return a stolen grocery cart to the Dollar General around the corner from our house before coming home immediately from work. There's no making that make sense outside of ego, pride, power and control.
@orielwiggins2225
8 ай бұрын
Omg, yes! Had this happen several times when key people weren't getting their way cuz I finally held firm to my boundaries and said I'd gladly speak to them when they were willing to treat me with respect and decency.
@LValley-kz3yc
8 ай бұрын
Thank you again. This information is vital. You need to be ready with documentation in an easy format for the attorney. A person is not in court everyday so you have plenty of down time. The Narc wants to crush you, but decorum and remaining quiet does not go unnoticed by the judge. Their ranting does not impress the judge. Thank you again.
@samanthapotts9241
8 ай бұрын
Malignant NARCISSIST take what matters to you
@reneerivers2634
8 ай бұрын
About 10 years ago my hubby's ex found out that I said she had NPD and she has been obsessed with it ever since. According to her, she has been the victim of narcissists her entire life. Her deceased mother, all of her ex husbands (she has 5), her mother's entire family, and many friends she discarded. All of those people, she says, victimized her. She's the injured party and they're monsters. I'd suggest she figure out the common denominator in all of these relationships but since narcissists lack the ability to self reflect she will continue to believe she is not the problem. It wouldn't normally matter to me what she believes but she is my stepson's mother and her beliefs and behavior have impacted him. He is currently in the process of setting boundaries with her.
@johnpaulsawan1990
8 ай бұрын
My family was raised by two narcissists. We would not feel or be super bored unless we were fighting.
@barbaraschultz1442
8 ай бұрын
Follow the money.
@houseofbows
8 ай бұрын
A narcissist has attacked my family. They have harrassed bullied and made fun of someone i love online. I wish so bad theyd get police involved this persons unhinged.
@matteblak6158
8 ай бұрын
Dr. Ramani, I have said this on about 1 million of your videos, but it is so comforting to know that you understand, and that there are so many other people watching who understand. There aren’t a lot of victories for us victims, but realizing that we are not crazy, and that it’s not us, is one that I cherish
@lisalambert81865
8 ай бұрын
I was told this a while back, but didn’t want to face it because the person was a part of my soul. But the more time goes by a the behaviors are shown the more I can’t deny it. I was hoping at the least that this person just had narcissistic tendencies and traits like I did from being raised in dysfunction. This person studied narcissism and use all the words and terminology against the people in her life, projected a lot. She also used it to get others to believe her version of the truth and be the victim. She keeps the players separate and is able to get them to not speak to each other about what is happening , so they never compare stories. It saddens me but I am working through the grief of disbelief that this person could do this and be this way. A lot of society is using this to hurt and attack others to get their way. I see a lot of it in children using it against their parents. Instead why don’t they go get help and heal themselves? Because it’s easier to make everyone else the or their problem.
@mac-ju5ot
8 ай бұрын
I had no idea other when I first started watching these videos other than the name c used cohersiv e control to get his own way. It's been god awful .No one gets how they weaponize abuse.
@MsShannaK
8 ай бұрын
Thank you doctor Ramani ❤
@sarahcinnamonthriving9563
8 ай бұрын
My Narcissistic ex TAUGHT me words and issues I DIDN'T really know about at the time, so I would look them up, and it would turn out that HE was unaware of the REAL meanings. As I would find out, he would get pissed because it would prove to be HIS (and his family's) issues, not mine! ... And Narcissists LOATHE honesty, fairness, and logic... especially about themselves. "Projection" "Transference" "Trauma-Dumping" "Word Salad" ... And him telling me that he and his mother felt I "needed to learn Healthy Boundaries" "to better OBEY" their flip-flopping confusing and contradictory expectations... So... I DID... in a 10 wk grp therapy course... WOW were they upset when I learned it was nothing they thought, plus exposed their toxicity! I ended up starting to heal lifelong abuse conditioning from looking up and learning about the terms he tried to criticize me with and weaponise against me.😅
@annaberastain4428
8 ай бұрын
Dr Ramini can you give us insight on how to circumvent when these narcisists and/or psychopaths get in positions of power. We need guidance on how to deal with their abuses of power.
@annaberastain4428
8 ай бұрын
We need to bring awareness on a deeper level
@raegeh-fv9sm
8 ай бұрын
About two years ago I thought I was friends with another woman I had no clue she was narcissistic. She came to me one day claiming that she was trying to help me. She wanted me to do something that I knew was a bad idea and would make the problem a 100 times worse. I tried to say no! She continued to demand that I do what she wanted. I tried to explain why what she wanted would not work! She then started yelling "stop projecting onto me". At the time I didn't know what projecting was, so I didn't respond. She restated her demand. I said NO. She yelled "stop projecting onto me" again. I stated my boundaries for my life again. She yelled "if you don't stop projecting onto me I'm leaving". I responded"that sounds like a good idea" and walk away. A couple of weeks later, she told people to tell me that we could still be friends but I had to apologize and do what she wanted. I told this people that our friendship was over. A couple of weeks later she used her van to block my car in. I agreed to do what she wanted, so that she would move her van. When my car was out, I sent her a text telling her I no longer wanted to be friends and I was not going to do what she wanted. She used text to trash my reputation. Only a couple of people sided with her.
@samanthapotts9241
8 ай бұрын
Deeply entitled
@kondetichandini8966
8 ай бұрын
Thanks a lot Dr.Ramani! Am eternally grateful to you and your generosity to share this content for free. I have learnt everything in just a month ( which I am supposed to learn during my growing up younger phase). Anyways, your content helped me enormously. Am now tasting the perks of being kind to myself and the attention and energy that I freely used to give to every narcissist around me. Thank you so much. Love to you❤
@johnpaulsawan1990
8 ай бұрын
My sister sexually abused me as child. My whole life I tried to tell people but she had told my father and malt that I assault her. I was beaten badly and abandoned at age 11. Now, my sister uses my story and pretends it happened to her. I'm afraid to pursue justice because who would believe a man?
@mariehughey5390
8 ай бұрын
I’m ready to go completely no contact but it is now the extended family that seems to think they can fix us. So now I’m thinking I need to just say no to them too.
@ashleafelty4252
8 ай бұрын
This video could not have been posted at a more perfect time. My Narcissist just started doing this a few days before this uploaded. Thank you for being here, Doctor.
@serberusu
8 ай бұрын
I hurt people and didn't take the time to understand my impact. Why was I so ready to fight? Why did i perpetuate the cycle? i had power to change and i didn't. why? i am sad and ashamed with myself. 🌹 i want to change. can i get myself to do the work now and document and take therapy?
@puremaledark8305
8 ай бұрын
Oh, geeesh. The one i dated waited for so long and as soon as i had a weak moment (got too drunk) they started recording and accusing me of all sorts of things. I finally clapped back a bit and they used that recording to share with everyone. “See! Look how bad he is!”
@Tified967
8 ай бұрын
Yup my cyberstalker actually took the psychopathy checklist online on his KZitem channel & scored highly. Really, what can I say to that?! Sad, sad man. This one is also on the autism spectrum (no offence to autistic people the vast majority are caring people) making him even more relentless. He posted defamatory pictures to my iCloud after hacking my phone my single fault was getting rid of them as I felt so ashamed & violated as they included pictures of my then 3 year old son.
@Lowdninja
8 ай бұрын
This is literally what I am going through NOW!!
@bract303
8 ай бұрын
Me too, it sucks.
@eileenmarter6993
8 ай бұрын
That’s my sister Denise. I have to stay away from her!
@judithflom6366
8 ай бұрын
Looks like you researched Evan Rachel wood. Thanks for this segment.
@1948rambo
8 ай бұрын
Yes I’m seeing that!!!!
@thenativeconservationist
8 ай бұрын
Doctor Ramani please talk about how nasty a narc in laws are. The father was always the quiet one and now he is vicious, the mom always controlling. They are pure evil and keep threatening me with expensive attorneys for protecting myself from husband for DV.
@zen5419-so8kp
8 ай бұрын
The thing about Histrionic with narcissistic person, the "documentation" you kept is actually their weapon of choice, (them being lazy) to perpetuate how vile one is. That they are the victim. Thus, keeping the evidence to yourself is better. Only when extremely necessary, would that documentation be used. Or not at all. Moving to another place is a good option. If only possible. It's complicated. Mind you this is a woman we are talking about.
@jj1985vid
8 ай бұрын
This is not living. ("This" being the unending expenditure of energy simply for self preservation against an entire world of narcissism.)
@zsuzsah.
8 ай бұрын
So so true,i am so humbled by it dr Ramani🙏🏻, presiate it
@mac-ju5ot
8 ай бұрын
I stayed calm and they are busy bullying . Trying to make a huge case. All I want is peace in my living daily. The neigbhor told me the other day he's got a two rules.no Dr and no police. His son is a policeman. I try to steal clear of him. He said he'd live to f me over
@E.K.2003
8 ай бұрын
In other words; therapy and information on narcissism via internet, books, discussions, etc. provides a learning curve for a narcissist to weaponize their own mental condition.
@HandsOC
8 ай бұрын
This is exactly what happend in my previous marriage. Thank You. Your video about documenting and being told "you are being petty" really woke me up that she intended to do whatever it takes to paint me as the problem. She then labeled me as a narcisist which confused me.
@nitaell
8 ай бұрын
It's not so much the endurance of a narcissist, it's the RETALIATION and backlash you're subjected to, especially if they are your superior and can HR you right out of a job!
@marcellominzoni7691
8 ай бұрын
The first time I heard about narcissism and associated terms such as gaslighting was by being accused of these behaviors by my now ex-wife. I was extremely confused so I did some research and that’s when I realized I was being accused of her wrong doing, the classic projection. My ex wife and I are co-parenting and still fighting over custody and I recently learned that she is calling me a narcissist both at work and in the legal realm. Very frustrating because despite my constant documentation, I keep hearing that bringing this to the judge is a coin flip. It’s like watching my kids being attacked by a shark and being unable to help them
@teresadvorak6145
8 ай бұрын
Exactly, accuse u of their wrong doing, then make it known to everyone. My sister did this to me. She said" why are u always the victim" I said I'm a (VICTOR) not a victim! U need to set them straight. When she found out I was trying to educate myself on how to deal with narcissism, she jumped right into it & turned everything around & tried to use it on me. I could see what she was doing & tho she tried to convince what the rest of the family thought of me. It didn't work on me 😂. We are no contact forever & I don't miss her evil ways. She even hoover me at my own home but I could see through her temporary charm. I was nice & then let her go forever. I never want to see her again. She's a mean sadistic bitch who cares about nobody's emotions but her own which she can't control. She is learning that she can't control mine.
@Life00707
8 ай бұрын
Divorce is a nightmare with a N!!
@libertycan6959
8 ай бұрын
🙏🏼 Sad journey. They truly exploit.
@kat-75
8 ай бұрын
Have they ever had a real job besides fucking up my life?
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