Whenever people bring up fetishization I always remind them that I'm a very tall, very dark skinned woman with an hour glass figure. Black men fetishize me for all of that and those qualities are equal parts of my identity as is my race. Being fetishized for having a big butt does not feel better than being fetishized for being black.
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
Such an important point! Thank you so much for chiming in. ❤️
@MaxHochwalt-jt7jy
9 ай бұрын
I don't like the term "Fetishisation"
@LawAbidingCitizenHelloOfficer
5 ай бұрын
😂😂😂 you are pitiful
@tomorrowwestport2620
9 ай бұрын
Any man no matter what race don’t care about swag. Anyone with an ounce of self respect don’t leave their house to impress other people
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
Agreed. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to impress others but I think the problem is when people get "lost in the sauce" and only seek to impress others to the point where they no longer know what is "impressive" to themselves or for themselves. Be well and thank you as always for your support of this channel! Happy holiday season.
@madamelogicbombdropperblac7799
9 ай бұрын
Amanda! Your videos are so empowering. I think black women are at a point where swag is the last thing on our minds when looking for a mate. The new-age black woman of the 21st century is looking for men who are refined, cultured, well-traveled, well-educated, and for some of us foreign. Many of us black ladies see swag as an aspect of low-seed male culture and we want nothing to do with it. Everything is interracial now and that is a good thing for black ladies. So, as many of us travel overseas we see that swag is pretty much non-existent and offers no benefit to ladies looking for a loving stable happy relationship. Thank you for all your videos and all that you have done to empower black women Amanda🥳💃🏾🥰
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for chiming in! I’m really happy to hear you find the videos helpful. I appreciate your support more than you know. Be well and happy holiday season! ✨
@vickyvick8294
9 ай бұрын
Why do people always say Strong black women🤷♀️🥲, can we be Soft black women for once. I just hate to hear Strong black women……
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
I hear you but remember strength and softness are not mutually exclusive! We are multifaceted beings with such a depth of emotion and ability. ✨💕
@MaxHochwalt-jt7jy
9 ай бұрын
For the record: A soft Black Woman is a woman that has a loving, Sentimental side with the man she loves and the ability to exude strength to the rest of the world. When you come to snuggle and be loving, Black Women are the best. When it comes to being strong in the world outside, again usually you beautiful ladies do it better. Its alot to ask. As a male ,I just adore your softer side. I am just a dude. You lovely ladies have alot to bear. Maybe thats why we (as men), just wanna treat you like a queen when you come home after both of our hard days at work.
@doomguy9049
8 ай бұрын
It does seem like the strength of black women is often overemphasized to their detriment, as if any woman's strength is in opposition to the more tender qualities that they possess. I believe that a woman can have both strength of character and emotional resilience in abundance without lacking in that "softness" you speak of: in fact the strongest, most resilient women I've known personally have also been quite graceful, gentle and beautiful souls and their inner strength is reflected in their "softness".
@andrewgreen6429
9 ай бұрын
I see swag as arrogance, which is not an attractive character trait
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
Yeah, arrogance is the absolute worst. Definitely a MAJOR turn off.
@tubby3156
9 ай бұрын
I agree
@LawAbidingCitizenHelloOfficer
5 ай бұрын
Insecure
@kenharper7189
9 ай бұрын
I've always thought of swag as all show. You can tell a confident man the way he walks, stands, and how he greets a stranger.
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
1000% agreed.
@kenharper7189
9 ай бұрын
@@AmandaAwakens great minds think alike 😉
@tamikowhite9541
9 ай бұрын
Once again Amanda you gave a great commentary. Now here is my take on the whole "Swag" thing. Swag is symbolic with the ghetto low-class men that the modern-day black woman with a US Passport who thinks outside the box and who has taken the road less traveled has no interest in. Black women like me want non-black men first and foremost. Second, we want men from good families and men who are refined, cultured, and well-educated. The "swagman" is an all-time loser and nothing more. 🤵🏻♂👰🏾♀💍
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
lol I don’t know why but “swag man” made me laugh out loud. Thank you so much for chiming in! I appreciate your support and am wishing you a lovely holiday season! ✨
@ms.rivera7898
3 ай бұрын
Great insights. This is very true!
@NICKBucci-zp1wp
8 ай бұрын
Great channel! This topic was covered exceptionally well. I'm a WM, and in the early stages of divorce (WW...we grew apart once the kids left for college). I will not date until the divorce is final, but am looking forward to it once it's finalized. Prior to marrying a few decades ago, I dated white women, black women, hispanic women, and women of mixed racial heritage. It didn't matter to me. I grew up in a major metropolitan area. A big melting pot. So, it was just natural. If she was pleasant, smart, physically active ( I've spent much of my adult life in endurance sports) and not too impressed or interested in fads and trends, I was likely to be interested. I dated 2 black women. Another, and much older, black woman, asked me out on a date at a place where we both worked when I was an undergrad, but I declined because I was dating someone else. The first black girl I dated was great. Calm, cerebral, nice, funny. We both transferred to different colleges in our undergrad years, so that ended our dates. It was fun. Despite artificial societal constraints, I have very fond memories. In my eyes, the second actually qualified as marriage material. We were getting serious. Unfortunately, both of our parents did not approve of a serious interracial relationship. I went off to grad school, worked around the United States and in a foreign country, and never saw her again. Fast forward to 2024. The world has changed, to say the least. The concept of SWAG is quite prevalent in our contemporary "Facebook" culture, and plays a role in inhibiting authentic relationships. Amanda did a beautiful job delineating what's really important in that regard. I now live in a southern state, and run a small business. I see a fair amount of ostentatious behavior and SWAG regardless of race, but a lot those folks carry heavy debt loads. Eventually, as I noticed during the Great Recession starting at the end of 2008, those folks get into big financial trouble once the house of cards folds. To be sure, some can walk the talk and truly fuse perception and reality. More power to them. Respect, in life and business, goes a long way towards building solid relationships in our bifurcated, polarized society. As Amanda perfectly pointed out, substance and character often supersede flash and SWAG in relationships. I have found this to be exceptionally true across racial lines, one of which I hope could turn romantic in the future, but can't. In the small business I run, I have quite a few black women customers. When business is slow, we'll sometimes chat about a variety of topics. One woman checks all the boxes as far as dating goes, but even after the divorce is final, I don't date customers.
@AmandaAwakens
8 ай бұрын
Hey, thank you so much for chiming in and sharing your story! I'm glad you found this video well covered. I tried to put a lot of thought into it. Be well and stay warm out there.
@TedVeroTV
9 ай бұрын
We love you! Thank you for all you do. Your voice is needed and you’re making a difference ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
That’s a high compliment coming from you two! Thank you bunches and happy holiday to you and yours. ❤️
@TedVeroTV
9 ай бұрын
@@AmandaAwakens Happy holidays!
@Sannypowa
9 ай бұрын
I see swag as arrogance and a trait of insecure people to act confident but lacking both confidence and humility which is a virtue. Fake confidence is definitely unattractive.
@MaxHochwalt-jt7jy
8 ай бұрын
I adore your opinion ,Amanda from Tacoma! Sometimes, Swag or even Sauce comes when a lady sees how BIG our heart and passion is. Charisma,Passion and heart wins ladies over every time. Quiet and not arrogant aside. Love your wisdom!
@AmandaAwakens
8 ай бұрын
Thank you so much!
@kaymichal
9 ай бұрын
I am a Gen X'er that came of age in the mid to late 90s. Swag to me is the ostentatious behavior commonly displayed by hip hop heads and gangsters that the larger black community and later mainstream American community began to accept as a "thing" once rap music became a dominate genre. Unfortunately, displaying "swag" is something that women (and men) have been conditioned to see as a trait or behavior to be desired and receive approval for. However, displaying "swag" says nothing about a man's intelligence, ability to connect and relate to others in a positive, healthy, way, or his ability to provide for and protect those whom he cares about.
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
I couldn't agree more!
@thomaslightjr.5393
9 ай бұрын
Swag less man right here, but I honestly don’t care ? I’m aware of my immortality so I choose to just enjoy myself as I am
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
Absolutely! Swag or no swag really doesn't mean anything. All that does matter is just living our lives in the way that best suits us.
@spear1534
9 ай бұрын
Thank God, I don’t have swag I like staying out of this type of culture
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
I don't think swag is an awful thing to have but I don't know if it's something to use to determine whether or not a person is relationship material.
@LaFlor718
6 ай бұрын
Personally I thing “swag” has levels and isn’t inherently negative. I interpret that word to mean moving with style. My fiancé is a very very very handsome European man who works hard, is a great listener, gives the best advice, has the cutest smile and just makes people feel better about life when he is in the room. And, he carried himself in a swaggy way that just worked when we first met. Head held high, shoulders back, eyes that telegraphed romantic interest and we immediately resonated with each other regarding a mutual topic. He even did that chin stroke while looking at me 😝. The swag that I like is a man who isn’t pushy or outright expecting s3x. Look at me like you want me and talk to me like you can’t wait to get to know me. I like that. But if it all about clothes and shoes and how many women you can bed, that’s not swag, it feels like insecurity and in the worst case it puts pressure on the woman or instills fear in her.
@AmandaAwakens
6 ай бұрын
I also agree that there's nothing inherently wrong about it for sure. In my experience, it's who has been been deemed "swaggy" vs. whose not that's been somewhat problematic lol. Be well and have a lovely day!
@MsNS-uh7vb
8 ай бұрын
Swag left the building for me as a child when I saw dad emulating it as a joke. It's ridiculous to me and depicts an image as opposed to who a man is at his core.
@9395gb
8 ай бұрын
Swag traditionally means charming, personsable, friendly, engaging, social, having a outgoing personality and try to relate to others. These are very positive qualities to have. It does not mean being a adulterer, Casanova, cheater, running game, or arrogant. Lots of antisocial men can be cheaters, arrogant, and Casanovas. A lot of black men do have swag and that's a good thing. Some black men do not have it. For example, Denzel Washington and President Obama have swag. While Kanye West, Taye Diggs, and Blueface do not have swag. When people say that a man does not have swag, it means they do not have a good personality, are not friendly, are not personable, and they are antisocial and hostile. For example, white men that have swag would be George Clooney, Conan O'Brien, or Anderson Cooper. White men that do not have swag would be Tucker Carlson, Matt Walsh, Elon Musk, Ben Shapiro, or Mark Zuckerberg as they seem to have antisocial personality disorders and these are also signs of other mental health issues. This isn't political either. It literally is about how these men come across to others and their personality traits.
@AmandaAwakens
8 ай бұрын
Interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing and be well!
@connork5339
9 ай бұрын
My initial guess to the definition of "meat on the bone intelligence" was street smarts as well. However, what do I know. About swag, a black woman I dated many years ago told me once that I had swag. I didn't have a clue what that meant and I just assumed that it might be a cultural expression. I know that it was meant as a compliment though. I remember she said that after a long weekend of helping her and her daughter move from one apartment to another. Maybe she said that because I wanted to help. I don't know. I am and was just a regular guy. No buckets of cash. No super impressive job title. No connection to influential or prestigious people. Just sincere and hopefully perceived as kind. When we were dating, I never tried to be anyone but who I already was before. I couldn't and will not ever try to be someone who I am not just because I, or others think that I should behave in a certain way to gain greater acceptance. About the "fetish" term. I dislike that word. I think, although I don't know for sure, that the vast majority of WM that date BW have sincere feelings and genuine attractions towards them. None of my family or friends ever made any comments or assumed that I had a fetish or expressed any disapproval of IR dating. Just my thoughts related to this and past videos. Take care everyone.
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
Thank you for weighing in! I appreciate your support of this channel and your insightful and kind commentary. Be well and happy holiday season.
@clemmike
6 ай бұрын
Most men with swag are actually boys on the inside. Swag does not define character but a charade of emptiness.
@AmandaAwakens
6 ай бұрын
A "charade of emptiness" is such an insightful line. The former English major in me loves it!
@EnlightenedFemme
9 ай бұрын
I don’t care about swag. I prefer someone with character who is also RESOURCEFUL. What is his credit score? What are his assets? Leave swag to the young people whose brains are not fully functioning. 😂
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
Yes, resourceful! That is such an important trait that is not discussed enough. Thank you for bringing it up. Be well and happy holiday season.
@EnlightenedFemme
9 ай бұрын
@@AmandaAwakens ❤️
@user-ye6ty9ie8g
4 ай бұрын
Translation: "I'm a glorified prostitute!"
@kingofnewyork7765
7 ай бұрын
Courage > confidence
@AmandaAwakens
7 ай бұрын
Courage BUILDS confidence (in my opinion).
@kingofnewyork7765
7 ай бұрын
@@AmandaAwakens absolutely, I’m not sure if confidence builds courage though. A man can have a million dollars of confidence I don’t think that will translate to courage although he
@orlydelacruz959
9 ай бұрын
Everybody has their own fetishes and there is no way we can influence someone to indulge in our fetishes. The best swag for me is being confident in your abilities, hobbies, and the things you love. The other one is being totally comfortable with yourself in both your strengths and weaknesses. That is why you can see a lot of people admired by others because they are totally confident and comfortable with the way they are. Now let me be clear about something here, I know a lot of guys wanna be cocky because they think that they're attractive to younger women but there's a big difference between being confident and being cocky. Most women who are mature and highly educated do not admire cocky dudes. You can be calm and confident at the same time and you don't need to be loud to show that. My focus on the things I love to do and enjoy is my greatest swag to women I guess. I do not assume that they will love the things I love but I will show them anyway to give them a chance to analyze and think if I can be part of their lives as well as they are to me. It's part of the whole process. You can experience having the wrong people along the way but if you continue with the formula, it will always lead you to the right one for you.
@catemi6198
9 ай бұрын
If respect, honesty and trust are served 💯,then I am good to go! Unfortunately,these vices are hard to find!
@jilliansimpson9698
Ай бұрын
Swag is sexy but its so overrated. I can do without it. Seriously
@KoRntech
9 ай бұрын
So the meat on the bones intelligence to me (NE Ohio 46 WM) sounds like he'd have a better knowledge of certain nuances the people in the black communities would understand or have some knowledge of. Where someone like me with only partial knowledge may frustrate a black woman if she needs to explain something that should be understood. Like I know a few do's and dont's but I do feel pretty damn ignorant on some cultural references or habits that are not to dissimilar from my upbringing but there are some differences.
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
I'm curious, in what ways do you feel this ignorance? I ask because this could be a potential video topic for me lol. Thank you for chiming in and happy holiday season!
@kc8rjs599
9 ай бұрын
@@AmandaAwakens Ill email you because I cant summarize enough.
@jackmills1025
9 ай бұрын
Hey at Amanda great video!! Swag lol didn’t realize that actually helps in a relationship I always thought it was love and communication but who knows lol
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
Lol sorry Jackie. How did you not know that "swag" is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Love and communication is outdated and irrelevant.
@jackmills1025
9 ай бұрын
lol 😂
@YouTubeTeacherRemote
8 ай бұрын
Hi Amanda!!! My man has the BEST nerd sweet swag (quiet confidence) with amazing confidence. He is a quiet guy that isn't egotistical and when I say to him, "Aww look at you. You think you are cute don't you?" His answers is always "I know I am. Look at who chose me" I rememeber meat on the bone. It's an urban myth 😅 I've never heard of it, so you are not the only one. I had so many people talk about "never being with a black woman" BUT as a woman, the attractiveness of color, boobs, feet or like any other thing that can be used by any man of any color, can and will be sexualized. It's a misogynistic world unfortunately and those traits are not attributed to any specific skin tone. It always confused me when people who never dated outside of their race, would be the first to tell you what white men are like. Character is shaped by environment and a lot of times, many are chasing "swag" and "bad boys" expecting a "good" outcome. It's like saying sour milk is no longer sour because you like it and somehow liking it, means you won't get sick when drinking it 😅 Great video Amanda!!!
@Shawntyreekwatson2674-k7x
9 ай бұрын
If you're doing that u want attention for sure and why do u need swag it's over the top
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
Yeah I think swag is cool but it doesn't really make a difference in a long term relationship in my opinion. Be well!
@simoncurry5336
9 ай бұрын
Is swag short for swagger? In British English is swag is a noun for money or goods stolen by a thief or burglar.
@clemmike
6 ай бұрын
😂
@simoncurry5336
6 ай бұрын
@@clemmike Bill Maher once said that Americans have swag Britons have gravitas.
@practicaloccultist231
9 ай бұрын
Great video.
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
Thank you so, so much! ❤️
@protogoniascension
9 ай бұрын
Swag is only a small part of the black american culture. We always had rhythm, style, an intelligent way of dress and dance. Only now has swag been modified to a more broad spectrum of peoples. Unfortunately it still relates mostly to black american culture so many many people dont consider swag important. But lets be real. Swag, style, rhythm, flavor, is important to a more fulfilling life experience. Black people cant be the only ones who want that.
@AmandaAwakens
9 ай бұрын
I think what makes life “fulfilling” is dependent upon the people in question but definitely these elements add variety to life which can make for a far more desirable and exciting life! Be well and happy holidays. ✨
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