Can you think of any other ways that Mr Bennet is lacking? As a husband? As a father? Let me know your thoughts.
@effie358
3 жыл бұрын
Mr Bennet is very funny, and he is enjoyable to read, but if he was a real person, the way he treats his wife in front of his children would be a real problem. It gives them an awful example of the way they should see and think of their mother (seeing her in a negative light might be where they end up either way, but still). And as a father, beside enjoying Elizabeth's love and admiration for him (and mostly enjoying her sharing and understanding of his humour) he doesn't seem to do much, especially for daughters like Mary and Kitty, that would benefit greatly from some guidance and attention. Being that the first finds her identity in achievements and the second is lost enough to try to be Lydia number two, just to get some approval from her mother, who seems to be the only one paying any attention to her (when Lydia is not in the picture or when she's being Lydia-ish enough), which let's be honest, is pretty sad, being rejected for not being "Lydia enough", when Lydia is, well, Lydia. And speaking of Lydia, someone had to try to get some sense into her, and Mrs Bennet surely isn't suitable enough for the job. All in all my grade is: a big mess. I wonder if Mr Bennet mild disinterest towards most of his children, affected the way they saw each other too. I know that text says that Jane and Elizabeth tried to help Lydia (and maybe Mary and Kitty) get it together, but she (they) was not having any of it, largely because they were not backed by their parents (or at least I seem to remember this being in the text, I wonder if I am making this up), but, I have always been horrified by the fact that Lizzy and Jane did not even try to speak to Lydia about the kind of dangers she might face in Brighton, and how, even without details, they might have warned her about Wickham, but didn't. I know Lizzy talked to her father, but still, I mean, I know it was necessary for plot reasons, but dang it, it's harsh. I wonder if their father's behaviour might have influenced their opinion about being able to help her see the truth in any way. Or how their younger sister might be "worth" them "wasting time" trying to help them grow into better people (unrelated but I have just noticed how Wickham sounds like weak ham and now I can't unsee it)
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
I think Mr Bennet's behaviour about the whole Lydia-Brighton episode (for want of a better phrase) is what helps the scales to fall from Lizzy's eyes about her perception of her father. And perhaps Lizzy and Jane regret not making more of an effort to speak to Lydia herself before she went off to Brighton - their adoption of Kitty, and taking her under their wings, after their marriages certainly seems to suggest so: "Kitty, to her very material advantage, spent the chief of her time with her two elder sisters. In society so superior to what she had generally known, her improvement was great. She was not of so ungovernable a temper as Lydia; and, removed from the influence of Lydia’s example, she became, *by proper attention and management* , less irritable, less ignorant, and less insipid." (ch.61) - "by proper attention and management" - OUCH! - a sly dig at the Bennets by the narrative voice there.
@cminmd0041
3 жыл бұрын
@@effie358 Also in the book he surprised Mrs Bennet with Mr Collins showing up for dinner with nearly zero warning even though he's know he was coming to stay with them for weeks. I can't imagine if my husband didn't tell me we were having a guest come stay for two weeks with only a few hours notice. In the epilogue section it talks about how Mr Bennet just shows up at Pemberely unannounced. He's pretty rude and very lazy and disinterested as a father. He seems to deal with problems by just ignoring them and hoping everything will work out. The only competent thing he seems to have ever done is he actually did go visit Mr Bingley so the girls could be introduced to them. But even that we don't know if it happened intentionally or accidentally.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
"He delighted in going to Pemberley, especially when he was least expected" (ch.61). Mr Bennet is shown again and again throughout the novel to "delight" in putting others out for his own amusement - sometimes harmlessly but sometimes less so.
@effie358
3 жыл бұрын
@@cminmd0041 this is also a good point! Mr Bennet is way worse than one would think when first reading P&P. With Jane Austen re-reading her work is a must
@movieloverfan18
3 жыл бұрын
Best scene in the book is when Elizabeth realizes that her father who was sensible and should have known to be careful with money had been indifferent. She was his favorite and thought him the best of fathers, but he had largely kept to his books and comforts and left his wife to raising them and trying to find matches. He could have saved money or spent his time getting them more into society. At least he could have stopped making fun of his wife in front of them. Elizabeth realized that being her father's favorite made her think him the best and her mother silly. Instead her father had been self centered while her mother spent every waking moment thinking about their wellbeing. She did the best that she could, while he had not.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Yes absolutely - part of the scales falling from Lizzy's eyes is her realisation that her father's behaviour has been "highly reprehensible" and disadvantageous to his children, and that she has been complicit in turning the other cheek (because she has been "grateful for his affectionate treatment of herself"): "Elizabeth, however, had never been blind to the impropriety of her father’s behaviour as a husband. She had always seen it with pain; but respecting his abilities, and grateful for his affectionate treatment of herself, she endeavoured to forget what she could not overlook, and to banish from her thoughts that continual breach of conjugal obligation and decorum which, in exposing his wife to the contempt of her own children, was so highly reprehensible. But she had never felt so strongly as now the disadvantages which must attend the children of so unsuitable a marriage, nor ever been so fully aware of the evils arising from so ill-judged a direction of talents; talents, which, rightly used, might at least have preserved the respectability of his daughters, even if incapable of enlarging the mind of his wife." (ch.42)
@glendodds3824
3 жыл бұрын
Furthermore, I suspect that Mr Bennet also neglected to run his estate well. He was probably too self-indulgent to do so whereas in Jane Austen's era many landowners, including the Earl of Leicester and the Duke of Bedford, were very interested in agriculture and tried to increase the income they received from their own farms and from tenant farmers.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
We might look at Mr Knightley in _Emma_ too who takes an active interest in managing the Donwell estate.
@gayleboykin9499
3 жыл бұрын
@@DrOctaviaCox n
@marinazagrai1623
3 жыл бұрын
movielover...that was my thought as well, we see him as indulgent but he resigned from his duty to find eligible future sons in law. He is selfish when it comes to Lizzy because he couldn't stand the idea of her finding a silly husband as he did when he married their mother..but Lizzy was more down to earth than him. As for Jane, he hoped she was beautiful enough for a richer man - although he took an interest only when he balanced his books. The rest of the girls would have to fend for themselves...
@nidhird
3 жыл бұрын
Mr Bennet is disappointed in his wife and his continual mocking of her and having fun at her expense is partly understandable as trying to make the best of a situation he cannot change. He’s proud of Jane and Lizzie for being sensible but it’s no credit to him that they are so. But when he watches his younger daughters behaving rashly and turns a blind eye, it’s a clear neglect of duty. He’s indifferent and irresponsible in both financial and family matters, which Lizzie realises. She even tries to take the responsibility of correcting her sisters upon herself and is even protective of Jane who is elder than her. I think this aspect of Lizzie’s character endears her to Darcy as he’s the sole guardian of his younger sister and feels responsible for her. He would have wanted to marry a sensible and caring woman who would be a good role model for Georgiana. And Lizzie fits that role perfectly.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Exactly! We might find Mr Bennet rather amusing, but he's clearly failed in many of his duties as a father (not to say husband too). And readers should be alerted to this from the very opening chapter, when he declares of his own children: "“They have none of them much to recommend them,” replied he; “they are all silly and ignorant like other girls”" (ch.1). But HE is their father! It's HIS duty to educate them and ensure that they are not "silly and ignorant".
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
That's a great observation about both Darcy and Lizzy having to care and be responsible for (if only partially in Lizzy's case) younger siblings.
@archiewoosung5062
3 жыл бұрын
What has that got to do with Mr Bennet's reason for marrying?
@katehurstfamilyhistory
3 жыл бұрын
@@DrOctaviaCox That's a good point about his lack of interest in the girls' education. At Rosings, Lady Catherine is horrified that the Bennets didn't have a governess (and at 15, Lydia could reasonably expect to still be having lessons - maybe Kitty, too?), but Lizzy makes a comment about how "We were always encouraged to read, and had all the masters that were necessary. Those who chose to be idle, certainly might." So they must have had drawing or music teachers on a casual basis, but she is really open about the fact that only some of the five girls (I'd guess Jane, Lizzy and Mary?) paid attention to the lessons. As annoying as Lady Catherine is, when she replies, "But that is what a governess will prevent", she has got a point - the Bennet sisters had intermittent lessons, rather than a properly disciplined timetable! On another note, he must know that Mary is not musically gifted, yet he lets her embarrass herself at the Netherfield Ball with mediocre singing; a more thoughtful dad would say, "Look, Mary, you obviously like music, so why don't we find a teacher who can help you polish up your skills?"
@neilbuckley1613
3 жыл бұрын
Do you think in the early stages of the marriage Mr Bennett put more effort into the upbringing of the children [to Jane and Lizzie's benefit ] but later lost interest and ignored the younger girls? We see the Bennetts long settled in their relationship, but it probably had a different dynamic in the early days.
@Carolinagirl1028
3 жыл бұрын
Honestly even though Mrs. Bennet is silly and tiresome, I feel for her. She knew enough of the world to know her daughters must marry well and tried to care for their well being in this regard. However as a woman there was little she could do to help them secure such a marriage and with their father too inconvenienced to try, she schemed in whatever ways she could to try to make a good match for them. She didn't come from the gentry class as Mr.Bennet did. Instead of helping her along in his 'world' Mr. Bennet neglected her, left her to fend for herself, and then blamed her when their youngest daughters followed in her example. It's actually a bit hard to chastise her for her behavior in light of her circumstances.
@octopusslayer7621
3 жыл бұрын
I don't agree, there is no evidence that I can recall to point to Mrs Bennett having any emotional depth to her. She pushed her daughters to marry purely for reasons of status. She did not care for her daughters' preferences or their feelings. Mrs Bennet exhibited a lot of covert narcissistic traits, talking nonsense non stop, obsessing over her neighbours, premptive bragging, manipulating her daughters, victmhood signalling, using her daughters as talking points to so to become the centre of attention. Austen was an INFJ who remained unmarried, these facts support my theory that she may have been mirroring her own narcissistic mother into the Mrs Bennett character.
@QWERTY-ri5yw
3 жыл бұрын
And she was thinking of herself and what will happen to her when Mr Bennett dies.
@veramae4098
3 жыл бұрын
The two youngest Bennet girls are following their father's example! Irresponsible. Self centered. Interested only in their interests. Giving no thought to the future. etc.
@stephanicrandall7797
3 жыл бұрын
I honestly believe that Mr. Bennet is the worst of the pair in regards to how it affects the 5 daughters. Mr. Bennet has sense enough to know what he should do and what he should teach his daughters, but he is too lazy and selfish to do it. Mrs Bennet doesn't have sense, but she did what she thought she was supposed to to help them. Mr. Bennet is so much worse in my opinion. He could have been a responsible parent, but refused to do it.
@SuzanneU
3 жыл бұрын
@@QWERTY-ri5yw There's nothing wrong with that. To be a penniless widow was truly a fate to be feared - especially if there were dowerless daughters.
@Caitsmovies
3 жыл бұрын
I read a story that made a point of exactly how easy it would have been for Mr. Bennet to save a little money, or even force Mrs. Bennet to reinvest the interest from her portion in the 4%s instead of spending it, and have their girls be provided for. 5,000 pounds with compound interest over 20 years, she would have had over 13,000. Not only would that have meant they would have plenty of money to live off of if Mr. Bennet had died, but that money could have continued to grow during their mother's lifetime and each of the girls would have had a reasonable dowry upon her death. Now, if Mr. Bennet had added even the smallest amount to that (let's say slash each of the girl's pin money and stop Mrs. Bennet's indulgence of them, which he estimaed to be over 100 per annum just for Lydia), they would have had generous doweries. The fact Mr. Bennet, a highly educated man, didn't even do the bare minimum of oversight is incredibly mind-blowing. No wonder Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy were disgusted, especially when you look at the care that was taken for their own sisters.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Yes - Mr Bennet absolutely failed in his duty in this regard!
@isabelguzmanmiranda5025
3 жыл бұрын
I suppose saving one thousand a year of his two thousand would have been too much... but still, it would have left each girl with a 5,000 dowry total in 20 years. Not a huge dowry, but the type that would make a man in love pull a Sir Thomas Bertram, "yeah, the dowry is not so much, but the woman is worth it". A 1,000 dowry basically means many men would not even consider any of the Bennet girls, regardless of loveliness. The man just didn't even try because he took for granted he was going to have a son. Which means that, no matter how smart he thinks himself to be, in his youth he was as careless and thoughtless about the future as many other much dumber people, or even more.
@ClariceAust
3 жыл бұрын
@@isabelguzmanmiranda5025 On a set of scales, this might in effect make him the equal of the woman he married. His reliance on having a son, yet in the process, multiplying the number of his daughters who would need dowries, makes him a reckless and unsuccessful gambler.
@isabelguzmanmiranda5025
3 жыл бұрын
@Gaming Miser Oh, that's even better. I thought he would have needed to save 1000 pounds a year. If it had been enough with 500 a year, it was stupid of him not to do so. I think 5000 would have been a great dowry. Not enough to tempt fortune hunters, enough for a man of means in love to say "Well, I could get a woman with 7 or 10k who is not as lovely or as sweet, but my happiness is important, too". Mr. Bennet was really neglectful. Then again, so was his wife.
@kristinesharp6286
3 жыл бұрын
Pity women were not educated in finance. The class system the problem. It was exponentially more than a working family made.
@elizabethtichenor
3 жыл бұрын
In today’s language, because she was hot. Thank you for this. It confirms my reading and love for Austen. 💕
@Grabfma040508
3 жыл бұрын
It is the same as today as most men see only the pretty body but remember back then young couples did not even get to be alone to talk to each other. The engagements were sometimes arranged ahead of time or the engagement were not long . Not giving the young couple time to know each other very well .
@BeeWhistler
3 жыл бұрын
I was thinking, in today's language, "He was horny." But that's a bit more coarse...
@lizziebkennedy7505
3 жыл бұрын
@@BeeWhistler true, though.
@nadiiagoncharenko4305
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for saving 10 min of my life ;)
@sianifairy9070
3 жыл бұрын
....and bc he couldn't have sex with her in any other respectable manner!
@c.w.8200
3 жыл бұрын
I always felt reminded of my own father who preferred to avoid unpleasant things leaving them to my mother to deal with. And then he would view my mother as unpleasant too for bothering him with parenting, finances etc.
@wednesdayschild3627
3 жыл бұрын
Mrs. Bennet is an older version of Lydia.
@gracehaven5459
3 жыл бұрын
So is my sister tbh 🤣🤣🤭
@renaerolley5670
3 жыл бұрын
@@gracehaven5459: As is mine. 😂
@darthlaurel
3 жыл бұрын
Exactly.
@chikezienzewi9682
3 жыл бұрын
Haha! But without the 4,000 pounds.
@stannieholt8766
2 жыл бұрын
Possibly, but Lydia is so bold, outgoing, and fond of jokes (even if they’re lame jokes, like dressing up Chamberlayne, presumably one of Col. Forster’s junior officers, in women’s clothes). I have trouble picturing Mrs. Bennet, even as a teenager, getting up to such hijinx. I see her more as an older version of Kitty, in that they’re both kind of insipid and whiny.
@unicornreality1771
3 жыл бұрын
I always felt sorry for Mrs Bennet. Although it seemed that she did not realise that her husband was so often mocking her with his comments I wonder if that was the case. Maybe she decided to close her eyes to his attitude and pretend to both herself and others that he was only being kind to her. To accept the truth meant accepting that she was locked into a marriage with a man who despised her and used his greater intelligence to mock her before others and teach their children to look down upon her. The future for their daughters as poor and unmarried was bleak and she was just trying everything she could to spare them that fate. The more times I read the novel the less I like Mr Bennet
@dianegaus3561
3 жыл бұрын
I think Mr Bennett is also disappointed with HIMSELF and the hasty choice he made and is well aware of his financial and parenting faults but chooses to ignore most of it so he can live with himself.
@staffanlindstrom576
3 жыл бұрын
Agree!
@Carolinagirl1028
3 жыл бұрын
Definitely! Sometimes it's easier to ignore your failings than try to right them. The whole debacle with Lydia made him, at least in part, face his failure in parenting and make some changes.
@lisawall9068
Жыл бұрын
What specific changes did Mr Bennet make?
@janetlafler1543
9 ай бұрын
There's a poignant moment near the end of the book, after Darcy has asked for Mr. Bennett's permission to marry Lizzy and Mr. Bennett is concerned that Lizzy may be marrying for the wrong reasons. He says to Lizzy, "My child, let me not have the grief of seeing *you* unable to respect your partner in life. You know not what you are about."
@Nedalin
8 ай бұрын
My great grandmother was a very wise woman. She let me in on the secret why men fancy beautiful women over intelligent ones. “Seeing is easier than thinking.”
@gillothen8913
3 жыл бұрын
Very entertaining. Another black mark against Mr Bennet is the expectation that a son "would of course" work with his father to break the entail. In other words a boy would be expected to deprive himself of significant funds, property and income to provide generously for the six women in the household. This is pushing to the next generation the self-denial and frugality Mr Bennet is not prepared to undertake himself. Someone else can take the cut in income or sell off land, not him. He has one moment of real self-knowledge, when he talks to Elizabeth about repaying Mr Gardiner. He recognises his own culpability, but briefly. When he discovers Darcy has paid, he is happy to accept his son-in-law will take responsibility, even though his debt is as great to him as it was putatively to his brother-in-law.
@glendodds3824
3 жыл бұрын
Good comment.
@FeScully
3 жыл бұрын
I was about to write something similar until I found your comment.
@ajlahasanbasic
2 жыл бұрын
His brother-in-law, being an attourney and middle working class, would have probably asked for the money back and that worried him more than a generous deed of a fellow upper class gentleman.
@shinjineesen400
2 жыл бұрын
In Austen's own family history, we have her great-grandfather dying young, and his widow struggling to raise a large family on very small income. Her eldest son John inherited the family estate but chose not to provide for his widowed mother and younger siblings. (I saw this in my own family too). A younger son William was Jane's grandfather. Austen's own father Rev George Austen got a good living through the kind offices of his uncle Francis Austen who was a self-made man. I don't know what happened to the senior Austen branch but I believe there was no communication. (Source: Jane Austen's biography by Claire Tomalin, family histories and annotated letters by Deirdre LaFaye).
@trellises
Жыл бұрын
Mr Bennet was undeservingly lucky. Three daughters married off with no trouble or expense to him.
@aliyakamaliyeva9463
3 жыл бұрын
Mr Bennet annoys me since he seems to find her beneath him because she wants her daughters to get married well since they will be left in poverty after his death but he doesn't stop Jane from going to Bingley's house on the horseback knowing that it is done to secure him and then gaslights her when she gets sick, I find this very hypocritical and arrogant at the same time
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
That's a really interesting episode to pick out. Because in some sense we laugh at Mrs Bennet for her plan to throw Jane and Mr Bingley together (by engineering for Jane to be kept at Netherfield as she recovers from illness). And we might side with Mr Bennet's criticism of Mrs Bennet undermining Jane's health in the pursuit of Bingley: “if your daughter should have a dangerous fit of illness-if she should die, it would be a comfort to know that it was all in pursuit of Mr. Bingley, and under your orders” (ch.7). But of course, as it transpires, Jane's illness doesn't just result ultimately in her marriage to Bingley, but also in Lizzy's marriage to Darcy (because they too have been able to spend time together). Mrs Bennet's plan doesn't only work, it works doubly!
@aliyakamaliyeva9463
3 жыл бұрын
@@DrOctaviaCox not only that, Mr. Bennet is his wife's complicit when it comes to meeting Mr, Bingley, sending Jane to Netherfeild to secure him, then send her to London but he teases and laughs at his wife when Jane gets sick and doesn't get married as they anticipated. Mrs. Bennet is at least honest in her intentions while Mr, Bennet conseales his and blames his wife when it suites him.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Excellent point. And of course he enjoys having a daughter at Pemberley too!
@isabelguzmanmiranda5025
3 жыл бұрын
@@DrOctaviaCox "But of course, as it transpires, Jane's illness doesn't just result ultimately in her marriage to Bingley, but also in Lizzy's marriage to Darcy (because they too have been able to spend time together). Mrs Bennet's plan doesn't only work, it works doubly!"
@deborahbranham-taylor6682
3 жыл бұрын
@@DrOctaviaCox The danger of a perfectly healthy early 20’s girl dying due to getting drenched when walking a few miles is next to nil. Mr Bennett’s comment is for me his typical hyperbole. A “cold” is due to viral transmission, thus she was already exposed, and would have had one anyway. The drenching might have made the course of the “cold” worse, but without the basis of the viral illness, the plot forwarding stay at Bingley’s would not have occurred.
@sarahmwalsh
3 жыл бұрын
Perhaps the only redeeming quality of Mr. Bennet is that at the end, he *finally* recognizes what a poor example he is to his children. He tells Lizzy explicitly that he does not want HER marrying Mr. Darcy just because he is handsome and rich. He fully admits that he cannot bear the thought of her being unable to respect her partner in life. He has made it clear to his children that he doesn't respect their mother, which is a terrible thing for a father to do - but he doesn't want Lizzy to make the same mistake he did.
@supergran1000
3 жыл бұрын
Excellent comment.
@15dpwright
10 ай бұрын
True, so much so that he thought poverty was better than a loveless marriage. Sometimes I wonder if he just hated her so much he wanted her to be in poverty on his death, no matter who else it affected.
@edithengel2284
6 ай бұрын
@@15dpwright He didn't hate her, although he held her in obvious contempt. His affection for his oldest two daughters would have prevented him from wishing to appear so vindictive toward his wife--especially, since if they had been unmarried at their father's death they would suffer the same fate.
@MsGrowltiger
2 жыл бұрын
Lizzie tried to convince him to not let Lydia go to Brighton, but he couldn't be bothered. His disinterest could have destroyed the family.
@cminmd0041
3 жыл бұрын
The situation between Mr and Mrs Bennet reminds me so much of the marriage of Mr Rochester to Bertha. Where he complains to Jane that he should be allowed to lock Bertha in an attic and get remarried because he married Bertha impulsively after only knowing her a short time at balls and in social occasions. But both men are literally describing marriage of their time! Neither were lied to, forced or coerced. They both knowingly proposed to a woman quickly- probably because they wanted sex and to not get their prize scooped away by another man. As the man, they are the one who gets to make the offer so they have only themselves to blame for doing it before they knew the character of the person they were proposing to. But of course, neither man accepts responsibility for their decisions and instead just punishes the woman passive aggressively for years instead of honoring their vows
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Really interesting observation! Yes, both Mr Bennet and Mr Rochester realise too late that they have married a woman for her 'charms', and then behave less than ideally towards her (although within the standards of their times). I think Mr Rochester feels himself, or at least persuades himself (even excuses himself?), that he had been lied to, forced, and coerced into marrying Bertha - he describes it as "a plot against him". “I ask only minutes. Jane, did you ever hear or know that I was not the eldest son of my house: that I had once a brother older than I?” “I remember Mrs. Fairfax told me so once.” “And did you ever hear that my father was an avaricious, grasping man?” “I have understood something to that effect.” “Well, Jane, being so, it was his resolution to keep the property together; he could not bear the idea of dividing his estate and leaving me a fair portion: all, he resolved, should go to my brother, Rowland. Yet as little could he endure that a son of his should be a poor man. I must be provided for by a wealthy marriage. He sought me a partner betimes. Mr. Mason, a West India planter and merchant, was his old acquaintance. He was certain his possessions were real and vast: he made inquiries. Mr. Mason, he found, had a son and daughter; and he learned from him that he could and would give the latter a fortune of thirty thousand pounds: that sufficed. When I left college, I was sent out to Jamaica, to espouse a bride already courted for me. My father said nothing about her money; but he told me Miss Mason was the boast of Spanish Town for her beauty: and this was no lie. I found her a fine woman, in the style of Blanche Ingram: tall, dark, and majestic. Her family wished to secure me because I was of a good race; and so did she. They showed her to me in parties, splendidly dressed. I seldom saw her alone, and had very little private conversation with her. She flattered me, and lavishly displayed for my pleasure her charms and accomplishments. All the men in her circle seemed to admire her and envy me. I was dazzled, stimulated: my senses were excited; and being ignorant, raw, and inexperienced, I thought I loved her. There is no folly so besotted that the idiotic rivalries of society, the prurience, the rashness, the blindness of youth, will not hurry a man to its commission. Her relatives encouraged me; competitors piqued me; she allured me: a marriage was achieved almost before I knew where I was. Oh, I have no respect for myself when I think of that act!-an agony of inward contempt masters me. I never loved, I never esteemed, I did not even know her. I was not sure of the existence of one virtue in her nature: I had marked neither modesty, nor benevolence, nor candour, nor refinement in her mind or manners-and, I married her:-gross, grovelling, mole-eyed blockhead that I was! With less sin I might have-But let me remember to whom I am speaking.” “My bride’s mother I had never seen: I understood she was dead. The honeymoon over, I learned my mistake; she was only mad, and shut up in a lunatic asylum. There was a younger brother, too-a complete dumb idiot. The elder one, whom you have seen (and whom I cannot hate, whilst I abhor all his kindred, because he has some grains of affection in his feeble mind, shown in the continued interest he takes in his wretched sister, and also in a dog-like attachment he once bore me), will probably be in the same state one day. *My father and my brother Rowland knew all this; but they thought only of the thirty thousand pounds, and joined in the plot against me* .” (Jane Eyre, ch.27)
@TotallyTota
3 жыл бұрын
Such a good point! Yes! Your comment made me think further on these characters. Although I find Mr. Bennet to be a non-vicious version of this mentality. I mean Mr. Rochester is a horribly vicious person that keeps his wife in a tortuous situation, that leads to her death. Although, now that I write this, I realize that Mr. Bennet's passive-aggressive treatment of Mrs. Bennet could very well be a great reason for her stress, her frail nerves and her exhaustion, since she is in a situation of very little power. I guess, I find Mr. Rochester to be more horrible because in the book Jane Eyre, he is idealized, he is the love interest, even with all his faults at the end of the day there is very little comment about his horrible deeds towards his wife. This is of course because Charlotte Brontë and Jane Austen are completely different writers, but still. While Mrs. Bennet is given her own space in Pride and Prejudice, one even understands her actions and motivation in getting her daughters married, Mrs. Rochester is portrayed as a subhuman, a savage and is not given almost a single line of speech during the whole book, even more, she is creole and this is put in contrast against Jane Eyre's own "englishness" and traditional "English" looks (There is a lot of this in the novel, which I find very interesting). Mr. Rochester's actions have terrible consequences for his wife! While Mr. and Mrs. Bennet continue to live in a fairly comfortable situation, very much thanks to Mrs. Bennet's interfering and getting Jane and Mr. Bingley to meet, it's actually her plans, plotted in the first chapter, that secure the future for her family! The family should thank Mrs. Bennet for her wits regarding the marriage market! Well, I didn't mean to trail off in so many different thoughts, but I find these discussions very interesting. I'd love to hear more analysis about the comparison between Mr. Rochester and Mr. Bennet, or other similar characters.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Absolutely! We might think that we are supposed to laugh at Mrs Bennet, but the novel seems to sanction her plans because, by the end of the novel, they have worked and come to be! Mrs Bennet has herself profited in the marriage "market", and her daughters profit too: crucially, "The *business* of her life was to get her daughters married" (ch.1), and very good "business" she does too.
@jaimicottrill2831
3 жыл бұрын
Actually MrRochester was lied to and coerced! His father knew the family history but wanted the fortune and so pressured his son to make a quick marriage. Bertha’s family also lied to Mr Rochester, knowing the history of madness and that she may well turn out mad they wanted her married and off their hands! He was never allowed to spend any time with her outside of a few balls and with all the external pressure, he married her. He wasn’t really to blame for the marriage.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Yes, Rochester was tricked by his own family as well as Bertha's, but I think Rochester does consider himself to bear some of the blame for his marriage, doesn't he? He says: "She flattered me, and lavishly displayed for my pleasure her charms and accomplishments. All the men in her circle seemed to admire her and envy me. I was dazzled, stimulated: my senses were excited; and being ignorant, raw, and inexperienced, I thought I loved her. There is no folly so besotted that the idiotic rivalries of society, the prurience, the rashness, the blindness of youth, will not hurry a man to its commission. Her relatives encouraged me; competitors piqued me; she allured me: a marriage was achieved almost before I knew where I was. Oh, I have no respect for myself when I think of that act!-an agony of inward contempt masters me. I never loved, I never esteemed, I did not even know her. I was not sure of the existence of one virtue in her nature: I had marked neither modesty, nor benevolence, nor candour, nor refinement in her mind or manners-and, I married her:-gross, grovelling, mole-eyed blockhead that I was! With less sin I might have-But let me remember to whom I am speaking." (ch.27)
@namewitheld2568
3 жыл бұрын
I also felt that Austin was too hard on Mrs Bennett. She must be in a state of constant anxiety over her daughter's futures. The pressure she felt to see them safely married must have been overwhelming. A constant theme in Jane Austen is the failure of fathers or responsible male relatives to take proper care of the women in their lives. While Mr Bennett is presented as glib and charming, his lack of personal self-discipline becomes more apparent to novel progresses. He is willfully ignoring the precarious position his daughters are in. Imagine the future of the Bennett girls if Jane and Elizabeth don't hit the marriage sweepstakes.
@katehurstfamilyhistory
3 жыл бұрын
I could have misinterpreted this, but having read Jane Austen's Letters, one thing that stood out to me was that she often mentions her mother feeling somehow unwell, and she isn't exactly hard on her mother, but you do get the feeling that Jane Austen saw this almost as a part of her mother's personality, as though she was something of a hypochondriac. I can't help but wonder whether maybe Jane Austen's feelings about her mother's (real or imaginary) illnesses went into creating Mrs. Bennet's personality, and maybe that's why people are so keen to write her off as a bit neurotic before they start to think about how valid Mrs. Bennet's concerns really were?
@sarahstone1385
11 ай бұрын
I wonder if her hypochondriac tendencies might have stemmed from a fear of her husband’s eventual death. At that point she (and her unmarried girls) World be screwed. She is very fixated on his health. And he brushes her off when she inquires. Which could make her more fixated on her own as well (or rather instead)
@TheAfroClub
2 жыл бұрын
After listening to your video about Wickham manipulating Elizabeth, I realized that Elizabeth and Mrs. Bennet share a lot of the same flaws. They both love to gossip and share their opinions with others, are prone to bias, want to believe that they’re good judges of character, etc.; Elizabeth is just smarter, humbler and more tactful. I think Elizabeth is what Mr. Bennet hoped Mrs. Bennet would be when they first met, and she’s his favorite daughter not just because she’s the most like him but because she combines the best aspects of both parents
@hannahbradshaw2186
3 жыл бұрын
I know this video was released many months ago. But the whole idea of the “silly woman/wife” makes me mad. It reminds me of Mary Wollstonecraft’s “Vindication” where she goes “yes, we’re silly. But why is that? Because were refused proper education”. That is why they’re “silly” 😑
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Absolutely! And women's education is part of what 'Pride and Prejudice' examines. Mary Wollstonecraft, in the dedication of 'A Vindication of the Rights of Woman' (1792), had argued: "Contending for the rights of women, my main argument is built on this simple principle, that if she be not prepared by education to become the companion of man, she will stop the progress of knowledge, for truth must be common to all, or it will be inefficacious with respect to its influence on general practice. And how can woman be expected to co-operate, unless she know why she ought to be virtuous? Unless freedom strengthen her reason till she comprehend her duty, and see in what manner it is connected with her real good? ... but the education and situation of woman, at present, shuts her out from such investigations". Mr Bennet neglects his duty to educate his daughters. Instead he jokes, "they are all silly and ignorant like other girls" (ch.1).
@lizziebkennedy7505
3 жыл бұрын
And they never had a governess. Hard for the younger girls to learn well.
@maureenmillerroult1316
Жыл бұрын
Not only were girls not given the same education as their brothers, but in many eras, including this one, they were actively discouraged from pursuing "real" knowledge - science, math, politics, history... That doesn't leave them much to talk about.
@Redberryfarm888
3 жыл бұрын
What a sense of humor for Austen to have the estate name as a reflection of their marriage - Long-bourn.
@kyerin
3 жыл бұрын
Although I've enjoyed many screen performances of Mrs Bennett, I think it's such a shame they always make her out to be quite old, when as you say, she is only in her early 40s.
@kmaher1424
3 жыл бұрын
Lost in Austen is a humorous tale of a modern P&P fan somehow transported into the novel. The alternate versions of the familiar characters are quite interesting. Mrs Bennett is a bit less annoying and the correct age, looking just like River Song.😎
@gisawslonim9716
2 жыл бұрын
Taking into account all the diseases one could have died from in Austen's time, reaching 40 must have seemed like a miracle and, in fact, it probably was considered "old and over the hill" and needing to be in a push chair.
@funkyfranx
2 жыл бұрын
@@gisawslonim9716 That's not true at all, life expectancy statistics of the period are misleading because child mortality was so high. If you survived past infancy, making it into your 70s was normal.
@jennytheratbry4624
2 жыл бұрын
@@funkyfranx THANK YOU! !!!!! Misunderstanding of mortality rates is a pet peeve of mine.
@diabloakland
Жыл бұрын
@@kmaher1424 i just watched that last night! Love how Mrs Bennett’s stood up to lady Catherine!
@sabrinapyun7290
2 жыл бұрын
You left out the best part at the end! Mr. Knightley's reply! "Men of sense, whatever you may choose to say, do not want silly wives." Mr. Bennet is not necessarily a man of sense!!
@edithengel2284
6 ай бұрын
Unfortunately, he was so besotted he never noticed how silly she was. At that point in his life, perhaps his sense was clouded by hormones.
@cianap.281
3 жыл бұрын
Mr. Bennet washes his hands of "girl stuff," like a lot of fictional dads, such as when he disapproved of Jane riding horseback to Bingley's but acted as if he weren't an active participant in the discussion. Austen really seems to disapprove of this attitude (ie. men opting out of the domestic sphere altogether). She makes a strong case against uninvolved fatherhood particularly for daughters in P&P and in Mansfield Park, and criticizes poorly done fathering techniques in Northanger Abbey and Persuasion. Austin certainly wasn't one of those, "oh men are so clueless, the poor dears!" types. She judged them when they didn't step up. I can see why Mrs. Bennet married him; she probably understood she needed a wiser husband than herself. But Mr. and Mrs. Bennet both unfortunately thought that because he was the type to say, "look how silly and unwise YOU are," that that automatically meant he was wise himself. Despite it all I liked Mr. Bennet. I enjoyed how their mistakes were just normal human mistakes and not some monstrous secret that Lizzie "found out." She just gradually... noticed.
@cynthiajohnson6170
3 жыл бұрын
I’d read P and P several times and rather scorned Mrs. Bennett and then one day it dawned on me that for all her tiresomeness and tactless remarks she was the only person who understood that the girls MUST marry or end up paupers. She makes it her aim in life and for all we are encouraged to find her silly and shallow and one track minded, she’s absolutely right!! Mr. Bennett might have more brains etc but she is the one who is bothered about the single most important thing that concerns the girls. It seems a total juxtaposition - humorous, intelligent , well-read Mr Bennett sits happily in his library but scatty, silly, fussy Mrs Bennett understands life. And life in those times meant if you were a girl you’d better marry almost anyone with a bit of money like Charlotte did or end up like Mrs and Miss Bates. She’s right!! After that , reading it again, I think with sympathy now of her lone battle to do a parent’s job of those days and find men for them.
@soneil7745
11 ай бұрын
I think that Jane Austen makes it easy to sympathize with Mrs. Bennet. Like when Lizzy rejects Mr. Collins, Mrs. Bennet says "And of course the estate is as entailed as ever!" To me, both parents come off as one-note gags if you just plow through the paragraphs without thinking. But they are very complex people if you give the book 30 seconds of thought whenever you put it down.
@heatherh9059
2 жыл бұрын
I always thought the Bennet children represented the different parts of their parents’ best & worst traits: Jane - Beauty & Kindness; Lizzy - Charm & Wit; Mary - Intelligence & Dourness; Kitty - Follower, Not well developed; Lydia - Spend-thrift, Playful, and Shallow. Also the degradation in each stage of their marriage seemed to be reflected in the daughters as well.
@amanitamuscaria7500
11 ай бұрын
Mary is not intelligent. She reads books "and makes extracts". She is one of the three silly daughters - Mr B says to Elizabeth that she and Jane will always be admired, even thought they have "a couple, or I might say, three very silly sisters". I'd love to see an examination of Mary, actually.
@judithstrachan9399
5 ай бұрын
“The Other Bennet Sister” by Janice Hadlow is an enjoyable (& quite long) continuation of Mary’s life.
@Croweye89
3 жыл бұрын
I love how Mr. Bennett just assumed that having a son was going to solve all their problems. I mean, never mind the fact that he had 5 daughters in a row, but what if he had a son. And what if that son had died as a young man. That happened ALL THE TIME! Why wouldn't he have started saving or investing his wife's money after girl nu 3? Like, even if his son grew up, who's to say that he wouldn't have been an arsewhole ala John Dashwood (I know they're his half sisters only but you can also imagine that Tom Bertram won't be looking after his sisters we're they ever in need). He would only have a moral obligation to care for them, so nothing stopping him from marrying a woman who will "helpfully" point out why its not in his interest to do so. Mr Bennett had 15 years at the least to start saving up, although he really should have started saving as soon as Jane was born
@glendodds3824
2 жыл бұрын
I enjoyed your comment.
@toilettduckk
8 ай бұрын
I think Mr. Bennet is uncomfortable with conflict, and hides that weakness behind jokes, and pretending to be above it all. That's why Mrs. Bennet seems to pester him so often---because it's the only way she can get him to commit himself on family issues. That's why he keeps retreating to his study, and why he neglected to protect the family finances. And that's why he's so fond of Elizabeth---because she doesn't argue with him or cajole him. When Lydia wants to go to Brighton, he won't stand up to her arguments about it---he rationalizes his own lack of assertiveness by suggesting that he's letting her go so she can learn through her own mistakes. He also admits that he's a bit intimidated by Mr. Darcy, when Mr. Darcy asks for Elizabeth's hand in marriage. The first time I read it, I saw him as a figure of common sense. But, after studying it more closely, I concluded that, in his way, he's just as lacking in common sense as his wife, except in a different way.
@viewfromthehillswift6979
3 жыл бұрын
As my grandmother taught me, "Marry in haste, repent at leisure."
@trellises
Жыл бұрын
Mr Bennet was the worst. All he did was sit around insulting his wife. He spent his life spending his wife's fortune, doing nothing for his daughters' well-being. The least he could have done would be to find and secure matches for his daughters. It was sheer luck that three of his daughters were married without absolutely any trouble to himself.
@codename495
10 ай бұрын
Who was the third well married?
@edithengel2284
6 ай бұрын
He was spending his own fortune as well, to be fair. It's also true that he never allowed himself to get into debt, at least.
@fatemah4444
3 жыл бұрын
My father is very much like Mr.Bennet in many ways: always shutting himself up in his room; he is neglectful of his duties as a father and husband (not to mention he has never saved up money for the future; thus our struggle in paying college tution currently) and much like Mrs.Bennet my mother sorley tries to makeup for it (financially, albiet not similar to her stupid manner). In our case my mother is superior to my father. So I see in Mrs.Bennet (like in my mother) a brave solidier, fighting for her children's future armed with the only method she knows how :`) Although I laugh at her charecter a lot, her underlying message is quite clear, perhaps not many can emphasize with her expect for mothers and people like me.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
I think we can both laugh at the ridiculous elements of Mrs Bennet's character (which are undoubtedly there) and at the same time acknowledge that she has a serious point in her frustration with her husband.
@laurae8324
3 жыл бұрын
To be fair, it’s likely that most husbands did not respect their wives during that period in history. Women were not taken seriously until much later, although this is a generalization.
@toffee2547
3 жыл бұрын
@@laurae8324 most men would have respected their wives. They were entrusted to run the house. People married younger and it was, for the most part, until death. Few men, realistically, would have chosen a wife they didn't like, love, respect and care for. Lower class men especially would have largely married for love. Their wives would have raised the family *and* worked. Societal rules may change but people generally stay the same.
@monrque
3 жыл бұрын
@@toffee2547 when you talk about people who are poor love will play apart more likely than not. When you talk about people of standing and money and social climbers love was not first second or third in that equation. most of the time security was what people were looking for.
@monrque
3 жыл бұрын
I do feel for mrs. Bennet. there wasn't a lot for women to do back then. I'm sure Elizabeth could have been a governess because she's fairly Smart in her thinking but really what else could the rest of them have done. maybe become a nun, the opportunities for women we're very bleak. trying to secure the future of her children was completely Paramount to her. also her not ending up on the street should mr. Bennet die and their property be taken by a closer male relative. Would they have been at the mercy of someone else like what happened in Sense and Sensibility. Look how bad that situation started.
@kayfountain6261
3 жыл бұрын
I have wondered whether Mr B had expected the young Miss Gardener to be as sensible as her brother (not realising that the two Gardener daughters had missed out on any education). I also think he quite liked their high spending lifestyle of their early years of marriage: beautiful wife, two engaging charming baby daughters, nice home, entrenching a strong position in the neighbourhood with their entertaining. That set the tone for the later years, too late to change it after he discovered the situation didn't satisfy him.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Perhaps we might see an echo in the Bennet sisters (the elder siblings, Jane & Lizzy, compared to the younger siblings, Kitty & Lydia).
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
And yes indeed - Mr Bennet does not seem to curb their spending particularly. E.g. we are told: "Mr. Bennet had very often wished before this period of his life that, instead of spending his whole income, he had laid by an annual sum for the better provision of his children, and of his wife, if she survived him" (ch.50). Mr Bennet might casually "wish" this, but that hasn't actually stopped him continuing to "spend...his whole income".
@effie358
3 жыл бұрын
@@DrOctaviaCox Mr Bennet seems to often have caring and sensible thoughts, too bad they never last long enough to leave a mark clear enought to lead to change
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Indeed. I think (in part) that in Mr and Mrs Bennet Austen stages a contest and asks readers to consider which is preferable / worse: * one who knows better but does nothing about it (Mr Bennet) * one who doesn't know better (Mrs Bennet)
@effie358
3 жыл бұрын
@@DrOctaviaCox Austen's stories seem so simple at a first glance, but in reality have so much social commentary and food for thought in them. I think a lot of it might have to do with how realistic her characters are (especially the worse ones) and how she hits the nail in the head when it comes to the way society behaves (then and now, because a lot of what she shows has to do more with human nature than anything else I think.) And all of this without telling readers what they should think. She makes people think without dictating opinions, I love that as for this "competition" between Mr and Mrs Bennet, it's a tough one isn't it? Because with Mrs Bennet there is never any hope of a change, while Mr Bennet has room for improvement, but him not doing so, makes it even more frustrating what see
@philippabettison897
3 жыл бұрын
I think that there was perhaps another factor in Mr Bennet’ choice of wife. I think Austen implies that Mr. Bennet is significantly older than Mrs Bennet both in the ease with which he was charmed by her youth and beauty but also in the assumption that she will be left a widow with dependents. Further argument to to the general condemnation of him for his attitude.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Yes, perhaps - although Mr Bennet does make a (rather cruel?) joke about outliving Mrs Bennet when she's worried about becoming a widow: "“Indeed, Mr. Bennet,” said she, “it is very hard to think that Charlotte Lucas should ever be mistress of this house, that I should be forced to make way for her, and live to see her take her place in it!” “My dear, do not give way to such gloomy thoughts. Let us hope for better things. Let us flatter ourselves that I may be the survivor.” This was not very consoling to Mrs. Bennet..." (ch.23)
@jogibson9394
3 жыл бұрын
It amuses me to think of an alternative outcome where Mrs Bennet dies soon after the end of the novel, Mr Bennet, swiftly remarries another youngish attractive lady (we know he has an eye for them, after all) and at long last, has a son, thereby cutting off the entail, disinheriting Mr Collins and making Charlotte look rather silly, even if her husband does still enjoy the patronage of Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
@catrinlewis939
3 жыл бұрын
@@jogibson9394 I imagine Charlotte would have made the best of it.
@cassandramuller7337
3 жыл бұрын
@@catrinlewis939 Honestly, the more time I spend with P&P the more I admire Charlotte. I read a comment on here comparing Charlotte and Mr Bennet (and the way she tries to spend as little time as possible with Mr Collins) but apart from the fact that Charlotte's and Mr Bennet's circumstances before marriage were quite different I'm convinced that had Mr Bennet had Charlotte's character his daughters would have been outstanding women, there would have been a respectable (even if not massive) dowery set aside and his daughters would have had the fortune of knowing that their father had made every connection possible on their behalf even if he himself did not enjoy company all that much.
@zzzkaris2zzz14
3 жыл бұрын
@@jogibson9394 that would be ..... interesting certainly, espcially for the 3 older sister who , well really all 5 sisters, having a half brother young enough to be their son
@joyfulchristina
3 жыл бұрын
Realizing that they were most likely much younger than usually portrayed in film alters my perception of them a little bit. I’m 38. Reimagining them as my peers certainly shines a different light on them. That’s a bit shocking, really, that they are often portrayed as being a great deal older.
@user-fe7qr8ol6g
Жыл бұрын
I still think they are not that young. I don't agree with the analytic about their ages even though everything else sounds good. Mr Collins visiting them are not necessarily because Mrs. Bennet recently passed the child bearing age. It's combination of him getting some social status, wanting to marry, and amend the relation due to his late father. Also I don't think the age really matters though.
@virginiajudd5043
3 жыл бұрын
I have long suspected that Mr. Bennet, captivated by a beauty in a lower class than he, one who was very flirtatious and not properly chaperoned, engaged in an indiscretion that would have soon advertised itself to the world. Being a man of honor, he did the right thing and assured that Jane was born on the right side of the blanket. His fatalistic view of the world, expressed in a gentle disinterest, derived from giving into a moment of temptation and finding it formed the trajectory of his life.
@libraflyter
2 жыл бұрын
I’ve always suspected that once I put together they’ve been married 23 years and a few months later we learn Jane is almost 23. There’s a window where Jane came a respectable 9+ months after the wedding but also a window where she was a remarkably healthy “early” baby so to speak. Austen probably meant the first but the latter adds just a bit more flair to the ill-fitting match of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet.
@ellalella1
8 ай бұрын
That is my theory too. He might not have made her pregnant but she got him into a situation where he could not avoid proposing marriage. I do think that he did like her physical beauty but grew sick of her personality over time. I also think that along with Mr Bennet's faults, I don't think that Mrs Bennet did her duty in training her daughter's for marriage the way she should. Mr Collins asked who he should compliment for the dinner assuming one of the daughters was responsible for not the cooking but the arrangements of the dinner and Mrs Bennet doesn't get that and points out that they have servants. If she had trained her daughters right, they certainly should have shown off their stills at this point by one of them arranging a very nice meal for their guest. Reading novels you can get the wrong impression that a lady just sat around but generally women, even high ranking women, had a managerial responsibility for her home and it could be more or less like being a CEO of a company on a large estate but at the very least, she should know enough to know if her servants didn't do their job correctly and be able to either sack them or instruct them. A house might have a house keeper but the lady of the house should know if the house keeper did her bit. To be ignorant of such things would not really be a compliment to a future wife.
@edithengel2284
6 ай бұрын
@@ellalella1 This is so rarely recognized. Running a household was not an easy job even for the wealthy and elite woman. Training and keeping servants was a full time job in itself, even if you only, like Jane Austen and her mother and sister, only had one or two.
@rachalmonigatti3983
3 жыл бұрын
I always kinda felt that Mr Bennett married "beneath" him as well. That Mrs Bennett married into a higher social class, and Mr Bennett has never done what was expected of him, ie, marrying another from the same social class as himself, as well as not providing for his daughters, barely running his estate etc. I can't remember if there is a line in the book that hints as such, I think there was some throw away comment he made about his daughters marrying up, and expressing some sentiments about poor buggers who find themselves with unsuitable wives. His social isolation may not have been his own doing?
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Yes, Mrs Bennet had 'married up' - we are told that "Her father had been an attorney in Meryton" (ch.7).
@malindaallen718
3 жыл бұрын
Mr. Bennett. "married down" for a reason: his weak character was apparent to ladies of standing and to their families. His poor, simple bride and her family probably thought he would make a good husband. It's easier for him to look down on his wife than to admit that he could not marry better.
@jgw5491
3 жыл бұрын
@@DrOctaviaCox It is interesting how Mrs. Bennet's and her siblings turned out. Mrs. Bennet and Mrs. Phillips were forward and vulgar. Not at all "ladylike". On the other hand her brother, Mr. Gardiner, was a tradesman but also pretty "gentleman-like" and well-spoken, enough so to impress Mr. Darcy. Mr. Gardiner was educated to be successful in his trade in such a way as to make his wife and family comfortable and to be able to take a pleasant summer holiday. It sounds like the sisters were only taught the art of the flirt in the same way Lydia and Kitty were after Mr. Bennet lost interested in parenting. That was the one skill Mrs Bennet could pass to her daughters.
@toomanymarys7355
3 жыл бұрын
Mr Bennett was undesirable among his own class because of his personality and Mrs Bennett came with a nice amount of money.
@edithengel2284
6 ай бұрын
@@toomanymarys7355 I wonder though if he had developed that sardonic style as a younger man--maybe not.
@lalaalh3739
3 жыл бұрын
@droctaviacox - the passage you quoted about Mr Bennet “Her father, captivated by youth and beauty” struck me forcibly as it suggests he is considerably older than his wife. A young man would not be expected to be captivated by youth - it’s taken for granted. This paints a picture of a confirmed bachelor, perhaps in his mid thirties, already set in his ways - who makes an imprudent marriage (quite possibly under pressure from his parents to marry and to secure the succession of the estate) and once he realises his mistake, he retreats into his library and tries to regain the vestiges of his previous bachelor life while the maelstrom of family life progresses without him. Incredible that a single word, ‘youth’, can so illuminate the picture of Mr Bennet - I’d completely missed it on several readings.
@shrimpdance4761
11 ай бұрын
That's a great analysis!
@edithengel2284
6 ай бұрын
I actually think that the passage makes it more likely that he was very young when he fell for Miss Gardiner. I wonder how Jane Austen pictured him!
@deezynar
3 жыл бұрын
How did the KZitem algorithm know that my mind was feverish to know the answer to this question?
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Ha!
@Fairygoblet
3 жыл бұрын
The thing is, underneath all of The Dramatics, I think that mrs. Bennett is sensible oh, in some ways much more sensible then her husband. She has her priorities in the right place but is way too intense about it. Mr. Bennett seems to have checked out of the situation entirely, so she might be doing this to compensate.
@neilbuckley1613
3 жыл бұрын
She does not come across as at all sensible in the Lydia - Wickham situation. Mr Bennett has a far more sensible view of how worthless Wickham is.
@Fairygoblet
3 жыл бұрын
@@neilbuckley1613 true. I'm just saying I doubt she's probably been driven to Madness LOL
@shinjineesen400
2 жыл бұрын
Mrs Bennet is way too indiscreet and complacent in her public boasting at the Netherfield ball. That "Bingley" will marry Jane and Collins will marry Elizabeth, and both will "put" their younger sisters "in the way of other rich men." (Honest but not to be spoken aloud). That is what Mr Darcy notices and what makes Elizabeth cringe.
@lesleywalllace7955
3 жыл бұрын
Is it not possible that under the social etiquette of the time, Mr Bennett would not have had the opportunity to converse deeply enough with Miss Gardiner to realise how shallow minded she was? Since unmarried men and women were not allowed to talk privately, looks were pretty much most men had to go on in choosing a bride. I get the impression Darcy was unusual in trying to know Lizzie better by listening to her conversations with others. At least he was trying to understand her mind as well as admiring her fine eyes. I doubt Mr Bennett would have had many such opportunities. I think Emma's comments about Harriet were probably true at the time - most men would marry for looks and probably didn't look for intellectual companionship in their wives.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Excellent observations. Yes, you're right. Unmarried men and women were not supposed to be alone together, so it would be difficult to have many in depth conversations and they would have to be conducted in front of others - hence the importance of dancing at balls (one of the few times that you could have a conversation with someone without being overheard by others). Darcy and Elizabeth having the chance to talk repeatedly together at Netherfield (when Jane is ill) would have been unusual. Fabulous allusion - yes, Emma Woodhouse says (in relation Harriet Smith): "I am very much mistaken if your sex in general would not think such beauty, and such temper, the highest claims a woman could possess” (ch.8).
@neilbuckley1613
3 жыл бұрын
@@DrOctaviaCox Harriet Smith does end up married to a man of her own class.In the early 19th century it was very rare for a man to marry a woman who came from a class lower than his own even if she was beautiful. Even later in the century note how shocking the marriage of Lizzie Hexham and Eugene Rayburn is considered.
@deborahbranham-taylor6682
3 жыл бұрын
@@neilbuckley1613 Unless she came from the merchant class and was fabulously wealthy, in which case a second son or a titled gentleman whose fortune was squandered would have her, though society would not be kind to her.
@shrimpdance4761
11 ай бұрын
I am reading Maria Edgeworth's Belinda, which was written in the same era. She contrasts two couples: the Delacours and the Percivals. The Percivals are held up as the ideal and intellectual compatibility and companionship is a key part of their relationship.
@GradKat
3 жыл бұрын
I can’t stand Mr Bennet. His sole contribution to family life is to turn up for meals. He’s a bad husband - ridiculing his wife in front of their children - and a neglectful father. I always felt sorry for Mrs Bennet, stuck with him.
@lettylunasical4766
3 жыл бұрын
LOOOL!
@gregoryfeeley3283
3 жыл бұрын
Jane Austen found it difficult to be very charitable toward mothers in her fiction, and Mrs Bennet is no exception. She is fatuous to a degree that strains credulity, even in a story where the secondary characters (such as her husband and poor Mary) tend to possess only single traits. The narrator is fairly arch in declaring that "The business of her life was to get her daughters married," which is very properly her business, for which Mr Bennet should rather be criticized for failing to share her concern. Reading the novel, I always find myself thinking not "What a horrible woman" but "The author dislikes her too much for us to credit the portrait."
@LaurieButts
3 жыл бұрын
In “Emma” why is Mr. Knightly still single when he is 37? Emma is “almost 22 and he is 16 years her senior?” Is he wise to wait for a wife who is not silly? Is he too critical to like anyone? Is he waiting on Emma to grow up? Is he too wrapped up in his business dealings for romance? Is he distrustful of women? Is he just out if options in this small town outside if London? Is he following his older brother’s advice to stay single as long as possible?
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
The narrative voice seems to make a joke of this very point in having Emma think to herself "It darted through her, with the speed of an arrow, that Mr. Knightley must marry no one but herself!" (vol.3, ch.11).
@srkh8966
3 жыл бұрын
@Charisma Girl a 16 year age difference is hardly an “old enough to be her father” age difference. Technically, yes, but realistically no. Knightly and Emma have the luxury of choosing not to get married, so he had no need to marry someone if he didn’t love her.
@juliehilton1701
3 жыл бұрын
Perhaps he had been waiting for a wife he could love then realised he had unconsciously fallen in love with his friend
@ricktownend9144
3 жыл бұрын
Isn't Knightly actually older than 'Mr John Knightly'?
@Orphen42O
3 жыл бұрын
@@srkh8966 At the time, a 16 year age difference was not that remarkable in upper-class circles. I got the impression that since Mr. Knightly was the master of the estate that he was the older, not younger brother. I could be wrong.
@indranidasgupta8982
2 жыл бұрын
It was lust, basically (you had to buy the cow to get the milk, so to speak). That, and no son. In those day, couples would have girl after girl after girl hoping for a son. In India, in the province of Bengal, they even have names for girls who are born in hopes for a son -- one such name is "Annakali" -- which, basically means "no more please god"... I'm serious. These couples developed exactly the same relationship as the Bennets -- the wife drowning herself in the household and her children, and the husband hiding himself away while heaping a malignant amount of sarcastic hatred on his wife (whom he feels let him down). It all comes down to economics.
@CornerTalker
3 жыл бұрын
Many of the commenters here, perhaps a majority, believe Mr. Bennet should have exerted more control over the three younger daughters, but what I find Austen revealing is that Mr. Bennet has discovered the futility of attempting to control and change others. One commenter praised Lizzie’s character for her desire to take responsibility for Lydia when her father refused to make exertions in that direction. But what good did it do for Lizzie to attempt to take responsibility for her sister? It turned out exactly as Mr. Bennet had foreseen. A reasonable hypothesis, therefore, might be that Mr. Bennet married believing that he could change and improve the one he loved, but found himself trapped when this naïve idea failed him. This theme is mirrored by the attempts of Darcy’s father to improve Wickham. Austen is showing us that people will follow their natures, and those that try to interfere do so ineffectually and to their own detriment.
@CornerTalker
3 жыл бұрын
and enough of how Mr. Bennet should have forced more education on his daughters! To force them would have been to break them. This is why Austen included Catherine de Bourgh's negative example, controlling and domineering young Miss de Bourgh. How odd that commenters praise Lady de Bourgh for her ideas about educating!
@nidhird
3 жыл бұрын
Yes it didn’t do any good to Lizzie to try to take responsibility for her sister but maybe she couldn’t help trying. She saw a problem and tried to fix it in her own capacity, which she later herself realises was not enough, without support from her parents. But the fact that she saw her family for what they really were and didn’t try to gloss over their faults, shows that her heart and mind were in the right place even if she failed.
@nidhird
3 жыл бұрын
@@CornerTalker I totally agree that there was no need to force education on them. All the Bennet sisters have received adequate education . Lizzie and Mary have received music teaching and if the others are not interested in pursuing anything else it’s upto them. And forcing Lydia or Catherine to do anything would have been in vain.
@supergran1000
3 жыл бұрын
I think Lizzie's intervention was probably too little to late. And it wasn't her responsibility in the first place. Mr Bennet's abdication of parenthood wasn't because he thought it futile but because he was plain lazy. If he'd guided his children from birth, he could have achieved some good. I know it's the age-old discussion of nature versus nurture, but why would we parents put in so much effort if we thought it fruitless? Mother of three and grandmother of six writing here!
@jannibal9273
3 жыл бұрын
Mr. Bennet had the hots for Mrs. Bennet. She also sounds like she was a flirt back in her "younger years" and had "fine eyes" - eyes can captivate a man - not to brag because I don't consider myself a great beauty, but I've had more than one man in my younger years tell me that I had beautiful eyes.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Oh yes, I imagine that Mrs Bennet could flirt - we're told that Mr Bennet was "captivated" by her and her "appearance of good humour" (ch.42). She elsewhere defends Lydia and Kitty, who "could talk of nothing but officers", by saying, "I remember the time when I liked a red coat myself very well-and, indeed, so I do still at my heart" (ch.7).
@SUSSDUE
3 жыл бұрын
I have always thought Mr Bennet was mocking Mrs Bennet when in the beginning he first talks about her being so beautiful as to tempt Mr Bingley to prefer her to her daughters. And he is certainly not giving her a compliment when he then says that a woman with five grown up daughters has no beauty left. In the novel it says that Mrs Bennet was very much like Lydia when young and Mr Bennet regrets falling for that kind of charm and beauty without a brain. He is all through the novel belittling her, and she seldom sees through his cynical remarks, or when she does takes to the only weapon she has, hysteria and nerves. In a way I can understand him as the marriage apparently had turned out to be a mistake from his 18the century point of view, i e no sons born, five daughters without any good dowry and stuck with a wife he apparently despises. But in his cynisim he has not taken his 18th century responsibilities as a father and husband, I suppose in the end he realised he would never be able to provide for his daughters and sort of just let everything slip by. In honesty it is Jane and Elisabeth who are the responsible adults here but being trapped in their societys view of what is proper behaviour for girls they , especially Elisabeth, can just try to give advice. Good advice that is laughed away.
@kimberlyperrotis8962
3 жыл бұрын
I think the requirement of female physical beauty, unless its lack is offset by a large fortune, in the marriage market, is a recurring theme in Austen’s novels. She shows increased respect for men who take into account a woman’s intellect, personality and character, not just her beauty and fortune, in choosing a wife, throughout her work. I think this may reflect Jane’s own acute awareness of her lack of beauty and fortune, despite her other attractions, and their effects on her own marriage prospects. This bias for youth and beauty, over every other consideration that might affect the quality and happiness of a marriage, is as prevalent today as ever. The truth is that men really only care about youth and physical/sexual beauty in choosing partners, they are unconsciously selecting for stronger, healthier women more likely to bear healthy, attractive children. Inreases in intelligence, talent, personality, socioeconomic considerations, and every other variable are considered only bonuses if possessed by a marriage prospect, the beauty/youth imperative overrides everything else. I think this has biological roots and will never change, just as women unconsciously select men for their health and protective ability (as suggested by their height) and their ability/willingness to provide for future children. These biases persist long after the reproductive years, too.
@sneha5367
Жыл бұрын
I admire your observation.
@edithengel2284
6 ай бұрын
Jane, while not a beauty, was considered attractive enough. I think it was more likely her lack of fortune that depressed marriage prospects.
@HELLinaaaa
3 жыл бұрын
Seems like the last 2 daughters came at the point when mr and Mrs Bennett were tired, unsure of what to do since they were told to have a boy, then likely realized it’s not gods will. Problem is, the resentment of 5 daughters likely builds and after the first 3, mr Bennett probably saw the rest as a waste of energy and resources as Mrs Bennett settled into the mother hen, using each daughter as a facet of fantasy of extension of self, etc
@gcooper642
3 жыл бұрын
Lust. She looked good when she was 19 and he fancied her. How many couples do you know today who did the same thing, but now they're 30 and have 2 kids they have nowt in common.
@sidilicious11
3 жыл бұрын
Exactly.
@lizziebkennedy7505
3 жыл бұрын
Yes, heartbreaking all round. But if he wanted to, um, well you know, unlike Wickham, he had to marry her.
@virginiatozier9957
2 жыл бұрын
We're see the marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet through the eyes of a 20 year old I still remember the line in the sit-com All in the Family. In answer to her daughter's not seeing anything good in her mother's marriage. Edith answers; " Just because that's all you see, how do you know that's all there is?" It was very touching.
@Tempest78
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this analysis, Dr. Cox. So in essence, he married her because she was a gorgeous airhead. Mr. Bennet was thinking with his small head, instead of the one attached to his neck. Given the status of his estate and finances, it doesn’t sound like he used the head attached to his neck for much, of substance. Got it!
@debshaw680
3 жыл бұрын
Even reading the books, I assumed that she was beautiful and silly. Men seem to have been captivated by that and obviously, her parents didn’t value education for women. Much like they only cared to educate their eldest 2 daughters.
@digchri2
3 жыл бұрын
It wasn't considered a good thing for a girls head to be stuffed full of knowledge back in the day, so they likely had no more than grade 6 education (even if they were rich) The only thing that mattered was for a girl to secure a good marriage as soon as possible. 15 was not too young for them to marry, 20 and single was considered old. Only if they were very rich, could they get away with still being single at 20 without being either silently or openly sneered at.
@glendodds3824
3 жыл бұрын
Mr Bennet had an income of £2,000 a year (a point Jane Austen mentions in Volume 1, Chapter 7) which was a very large sum of money when P&P was published. For example, in Sense and Sensibility one of Austen's other fictional country gentleman, Mr John Willoughby, has a small estate in Somerset and an annual income of £600 or £700. Moreover, in 1816 one of Jane Austen’s brothers was earning just under £55 a year as a curate and at that rate of pay he would have had to work for over 36 years to equal the sum Mr Bennet received in a year!
@doreenlloyd4885
3 жыл бұрын
He fancied her. Lol. I thought I was going to be totally bored by this, but I was not. You got down to business right away and gave interesting commentary.
@ladooshka
3 жыл бұрын
I would agree indeed that Mrs Bennet in the book was no older than 40-42 years old. Nowadays this age is way too younger to be considered old ☺️
@katehurstfamilyhistory
3 жыл бұрын
I'd agree with that, too; Jane is about 22 (we don't know exactly what time of year she was born) but you can reasonably suppose it was 9-12 months after her parents married, so if you suppose that Mrs. Bennet (Miss Gardiner, as she was) married at about 18-19 years old, she could easily be no older than 42. Which makes it even more interesting when she reminisces about how she liked red-coated soldiers when she was young; I'm presuming that this fondness was discouraged once Mr. Bennet started to show an interest in her, but in theory it could mean that the young Miss Gardiner had an eye for the soldiers when she was maybe 16 or 17 - which is probably why she sees nothing wrong with Lydia (nearly 16) and Kitty (about 17/18) meeting up with the officers in Meryton. She could well have been doing the same thing at the same age.
@fallionwater117
3 жыл бұрын
The book clearly stated that Mrs. Bennet had been quite beautiful as a girl, but being swept away by her looks he hadn't thought further concerning what more they would have in common. She was high strung and flighty, terribly talkative while he was calm and other than being teasing in a deprecating way was not much like her at all. I believe as Ellizabeth reflected more upon him she must have seen how mean he could be toward his wife...
@08andylee
3 жыл бұрын
Reminds me of the old saying, will you love me in September as you do in May.
@1956paterson
3 жыл бұрын
You have demonstrated that careful reading of the text is required especially when writing a screenplay for one of Jane Austen’s novels.
@marelieseleroux1288
3 жыл бұрын
Now I'm picturing Mrs Bennett being played by Catherine Zeta Jones
@ashleyfaller1068
3 жыл бұрын
For sure !!
@mtngrl5859
3 жыл бұрын
I think Mrs. Bennett was a lot like Lydia with her high spirits. Even though her father was a lawyer in Merryton, he was not of the gentleman class, so by marrying Mr. Bennett she was able to enjoy a higher status. Mr. Bennett is rather indolent and not the best father except to Elizabeth, he is very good to her and wants her to marry a man she can respect, underscoring that he doesn't respect his wife. The entail could have been broken with a good lawyer which again shows the lack of caring Mr. Bennett shows his family.
@ashmeadowphoenix
2 жыл бұрын
Give me examples of broken entails? It's highly likely that Mr. Bennett's father made him reup the entail himself (which is why Mr. Collins is the final heir of the entail), and it's quite difficult to get out of legal documents you signed.
@mtngrl5859
2 жыл бұрын
@@ashmeadowphoenix We don't have any evidence he even tried. Mr. Bennett did not pursue any activities that would have given his daughters better opportunities: become involved with politics, for example. This would have opened up their sphere to a greater extent. He was a rather idle father, we have no instances where he even made his own estate more profitable. There were instances where entails were abandoned. Steve Donahue's channel describes this on several times when he reviews Austen's books. Not a scholar, but it is likely. The current Duke of Westminster has evaded inheritance taxes even though it is the law through some excellent counsel. It can and is done with legal representation.
@singingway
2 жыл бұрын
The novel could also be showing the fact that men could indulge themselves, because all the money was his. Mr. Bennett considers his wife profligate with money, yet felt perfectly entitled to spend his money just as he pleased and not set aside money for his daughters.
@g.moeller308
3 жыл бұрын
Mr. Bennett is far from admirable as a man. As a husband and father, his mockery of the wife he chose and of the children he engendered and forced into being -- and the irresponsibility that all but ensures their future poverty -- utterly disgusts me.
@katehurstfamilyhistory
3 жыл бұрын
I've often wondered whether Mrs. Bennet's "nerves" started causing her problems round about when Kitty was born, say? So she started getting agitated about not having a son, and I notice that she really spoils Lydia, the youngest - could that indicate that she had a difficult birth with Lydia, and the Bennets were advised not to risk another pregnancy, so Mr. Bennet begins to lose interest (a combination of no son, an increasingly nervy wife and no prospect of sex)? By my reckoning, if Mrs. Bennet married at 17, had Jane at 18, Lizzy at 20, Mary at 22, Kitty at about 24 and Lydia when she was about 25, she could easily only be 40/41 at the start of the novel. (Also, from the financial angle, if I understood the book correctly, the Bennet girls dowries - small though they may have been - might well have been funded by investing Mrs. Bennet's own dowry once she was married. As Mrs. Bennet's father was only a country lawyer, maybe he didn't have the funds to give his daughters much as a marriage settlement; we know Mrs. Bennet's siblings are Mrs. Phillips and Mr. Gardiner, so assuming that Mrs. Phillips and Mrs. Bennet were the only girls in the family to survive childhood and get married, they may not have been given much money as a dowry. If you then take it that Mrs. Bennet's share is put aside for the next 23-ish years, it would earn some interest if invested well, but a relatively small sum divided between five daughters wouldn't go very far.) I think Mr. Collins, when proposing to Lizzy, says something about "£100 in the 4 per cents is all you may ever be entitled to", which implies that Mrs. Bennet's dowry was £500, invested at 4% interest, about 23 years earlier, to be split between the five girls as they married. That said, with 15 years between Lydia's birth and the start of the novel, Mr. Bennet had plenty of time to make better investments.
@jogibson9394
3 жыл бұрын
I think it's "£1000 in the 4 per cents" that is all Lizzy is to inherit, as Mr Collins points out to her (just after saying 'To fortune I am perfectly indifferent...' yeah, right!"). That's £40 a year - but presumably Mrs Bennet's dowry was the equivalent of five times that - and two hundred a year (£5000 capital) is actually a decent sum. Recall that Wickham chases after Miss Mary King who has just inherited £10,000 capital.
@katehurstfamilyhistory
3 жыл бұрын
@@jogibson9394 Actually, I think you're right; I forget whether it is in the novel now, but in the 1995 miniseries, very early on, Lizzy and Jane are having a private conversation where Lizzy says something about how she would be pleased/surprised to meet a man who would marry her for the sake of £50 a year, which fits much better with the details in the novel (if you allow that the interest rates might just rise enough to yield £50 a year rather than £40). The interest on £100 a year - say £4 or £5 - would just about allow you to pay a servant, but it wouldn't be enough to feed and clothe them, too!
@toomanymarys7355
3 жыл бұрын
A single hard labor after four kids is just bad luck. It's very unlikely that anyone would have thought that she shouldn't have another child. And she still expected to. People don't just go on popping out kids forever. Different women stop childbearing at different ages, and Mr Bennett is clearly much older than her. At least 10 years, but I suspects more like 20.
@toomanymarys7355
3 жыл бұрын
Mr Bennett was such a dirtbag that he married a pretty well off girl and then SPENT her income each year and saved nothing at all for his children. That was practically child neglect for a man of his class. Also, in reality, it was trivial for a gentleman to get an entail ended, but for some reason in Austenland, it's impossible.
@helene4397
3 жыл бұрын
It is also not known how many stillbirths or miscarriages Mrs Bennet endured.
@rogersledz6793
3 жыл бұрын
Well done! I didn’t realize how many layers of the story existed. Thank you for opening my eyes.
@betsyprigg5276
3 жыл бұрын
I found it interesting what you said about Mr Collin's interest in the matter: this suggests that he's been waiting off-scene for Mrs Bennet's menopause before he can approach and make his claim for the inheritance. I hadn't considered that. Thank you for the insight.
@jaimicottrill2831
3 жыл бұрын
Yes, I thought that was an interesting point too that I hadn’t considered!
@happybkwrm
3 жыл бұрын
Well, he was the heir as long as Mr. Bennet didn't have a son. He did plan to marry a Bennet daughter, that may have been a way of trying to 'make up' for the fact.
@starshake8998
3 жыл бұрын
@@happybkwrm He presents it as a compensatory gesture, but truly he is leveraging his financial advantage over the family to score himself a higher caliber wife than his character or position alone could ever earn him.
@jogibson9394
3 жыл бұрын
My reading of the timing was that Mr Collins senior (who was perhaps Mr Bennet's first cousin; we are not told of the exact degree of kinship, but must have been through the male line to meet the demands of the entail) had recently died, making Mr Collins junior the heir and enabling him to make his advances - we are told in Mr Collins' first letter that his father and Mr Bennet were not on friendly terms.
@lorenarodgers7545
3 жыл бұрын
I am loving these deeper looks into Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. Back then, also, women were considered responsible for the sex of the children, and Mr. Bennet could have resented that she never gave him a son. The more I study them, the less I think of him.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Lorena. I'm pleased that you are enjoying my videos. Mr Bennet is such a hard character to get a handle on, I think. On the one hand, he is very amusing (which makes it easier for readers to be seduced into agreeing with him) - but, on the other, that shouldn't really be enough to get him off the hook for all his failures as a parent...
@sarebinyesmin2963
3 жыл бұрын
@Charisma Girl yeh.....actually fate is responsible for all these.....neither a woman nor a man is responsible....lack of knowledge during that era....women were tormented for that...and yeah it is still continuing.....😔😑
@judeannethecandorchannel2153
3 жыл бұрын
EXCELLENT analysis. You could have mentioned that Mrs. Bennett was not a gentlewoman by birth, just as Harriet is of unknown parentage and eligitimate. The lesson is that some men will overlook a difference in social status in order to marry a pretty young woman... But it depends on exactly how great the difference in social status is. Therefore Mrs. Bennet was able to marry above her station, wheress the illegitimate Harriet probably could not have...
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Great point - neither Mrs Bennet nor Harriet Smith were born into the gentry (despite what Emma Woodhouse supposes!). Mrs Bennet's "father had been an attorney in Meryton, and had left her four thousand pounds" (ch.7), so he was clearly reasonably well off. Late on in the novel _Emma_ "Harriet's parentage became known. She proved to be the daughter of a tradesman, rich enough to afford her the comfortable maintenance which had ever been hers" (vol.3, ch.19). But - exactly as you say - that Harriet is illegitimate makes her social status very different from what Mrs Bennet's had been. In marrying Robert Martin, Mr Knightley makes clear, Harriet is marrying above her station: he cannot believe that Emma would think it "A degradation to [Harriet's] illegitimacy and ignorance, to be married to a respectable, intelligent gentleman-farmer!" (vol.1, ch.8).
@judeannethecandorchannel2153
3 жыл бұрын
@@DrOctaviaCox Thank you so much for this reply! I'm very glad that I discovered this channel...!! Are you a psychologist? My late husband was {Dr.} Claude Steiner 🥰🙋🏼♀️🌺🧚🏽♀️🌟
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Ha! wow - no I'm technically a literary critic rather than a psychologist - but I don't think the two are that far apart from each other. Surely one of the main points and joys of literature is to understand the human condition.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
And I'm very glad that you discovered this channel too!
@DavidSmith-kd8mw
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your clear explanation and pleasant voice. I wish I could thank Jane Austin for her amusing and clear presentation of people belonging to a world related to our own, but so different in its most important details (love, marriage, family). I wish the creators of our most influential current fictional culture (TV) could populate their historical dramas with characters that represented the attitudes and beliefs common in their times instead of our modern attitudes. As I think about this, I suppose it was a bit easier for Miss Austin since she was showing her modern attitudes.
@v2807
3 жыл бұрын
I think Mrs. Bennet is underrated. She achieved her goal of having Mr. Bingley marry Jane. And she was right that having a daughter well married would put the other girls “into the way of other rich men”. That is what happened for Kitty, but through her connection to Bingley and Darcy. And Jane’s connection to Bingley is how Darcy got to know Lizzie better, even though that wasn’t specifically part of Mrs. Bennet’s scheme.
@edithengel2284
6 ай бұрын
It's not that anyone thought she was wrong to think that the other girls would benefit if Jane married Bingley, it's that she was crass enough to say it out loud in a public place in the hearing of the said rich men.
@v2807
6 ай бұрын
@@edithengel2284yes. She may have been uncouth, but she wasn’t simpleminded.
@lllowkee6533
Жыл бұрын
Very insightful! Love the comments too. There’s a young man in my neighborhood just starting thru this situation. Married July wo any money, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other…. Working two jobs, living in free housing w/ stipulation that they clean it , keep it clean. The new wife won’t work, clean house or cook. No food in house. He told me, “ I’m trying to make it” when asked him “how’s married life ?” He could have seen this coming , we did.
@onemercilessming1342
3 жыл бұрын
It is also possible that Mr. Bennett was simply flattering her ego, since after five children (it is over 50 years since I've read Pride and Prejudice, so I can't remember if there is mention of deceased infant sons, such as the three baby boys each named Gerald O'Hara, Jr., in Gone With the Wind). Mrs. Bennett would have "lost her bloom". After all, he escaped to his study to avoid her attacks of nerves and wailings. Why would he instigate one by intimating she was well past her prime? In any case, Mrs. Bennett would have been considered decidedly middle-aged in the early 19th century. Mr. Bennett was "having her on".
@ariochiv
3 жыл бұрын
With her daughters reputed local beauties, it doesn't take much imagination to infer that Mrs. Bennet was equally attractive in her day. It probably also didn't hurt that her brothers were wealthy tradesmen.
@DevonExplorer
3 жыл бұрын
Brilliant; I really enjoyed this explanation. And in Jane Austen's own words in another life - Readers, he fancied her! ;)
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Ha!
@daniels7907
Жыл бұрын
That said, she wasn't very bright. For example, she had many years to refine her manners to be a more suitable wife to a gentleman. This was something that women usually learned from observing each other, rather than being taught by men. Plus, Mr. Bennet clearly did not forbid the women of his family from such things as reading. His main flaw was his failure to hire a governess. Knowing that his wife was not well-suited to proper behavior in society, it should have been apparent that his daughters needed better guidance. Especially since he lost interest after Jane and Elizabeth.
@juliem632
3 жыл бұрын
So glad I found your channel, your videos are so interesting and fun to listen to while going about my day. Thank you
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
It's absolutely my pleasure.
@singingway
2 жыл бұрын
I think it is useful to remember that Elizabeth's point of view is not always accurate. She sees how her mother irritates her father, and identifies closely with her father, about having to suffer fools tolerantly. But she may misinterpret their relationship, and their actual compatibility underneath. Couples have a secret life (I'm not talking just about sex) often not perceived by their children. I think the book hints that Mr Bennett still feels attraction for Mrs. Bennett, and of course knows just what to say to please her and put her in a better mood, so that she in turn is tolerant of him and what he wants to do.
@andersen6422
9 ай бұрын
When reading the books, it was my impression, and perhaps assumption, that Mrs. Bennett was very like Lydia when she was young: beautiful, rambunctious, frank and joyous. These attributes are often attractive to you young men, particularly those who are raised, or predisposed, to be reserved. I assumed that Mr. Bennett, unlike Mr. Darcy, had not grown in his wisdom when he chose a wife. In the BBC version, all the actors were excellent although I thought that Mrs. Bennet should be more comely, and the actresses cast as the daughters should look somewhat like family members, but that is just nit-picking. It is my favorite version of the tale after the unabridged audio books.
@sodagoth
3 жыл бұрын
but if they have been married for three-and-twenty years and jane is three-and-twenty years old maybe he even fancied her a little too much too soon...
@naughtycanadian
3 жыл бұрын
I think similarly about Richard bucket Hyacinth was a great beauty and a domestic goddess but in his case his real affection for young Hyacinth would last through her trying antics in the later years of their marriage
@thebeatnumber
3 жыл бұрын
"Old harridan" It's been _years_ since I've heard that word used.
@luchia4tom134
2 жыл бұрын
i seem to remember learning that the main reason Mrs B is seen as silly is mostly because she was from a lower class than Mr B and so wasnt educated in the ways of his social circle. instead of teaching her how to handle this new circle Mr B mocked her. this is also why its so damning that he doesnt guide all of his daughters as he knows his wife wont know how they are supposed to behave and the result is Kitty and Lydia being silly and Mary also sometimes behaved poorly. this is also why Mrs B doesnt see anything wrong with flirting like Lydia does, its what she did and she married above her circle so it must work after all right?
@emilys1418
3 жыл бұрын
I always took Mr Bennet’s comment about Mrs Bennet being as attractive as any of her daughters and getting Mr Bingley’s attention as being facetious, and even the comment about a woman not having much beauty to think of as being directed at her, although he knew it would go over her head. I don’t think you can really take anything Mr Bennet says at face value, that’s where Lizzy gets her love of expressing opinions that aren’t really hers
@edithengel2284
6 ай бұрын
Except that I think somewhere earlyish in the novel, the author says that Mr. Bennet was smitten her looks and ignored her personality.
@maryinsanfrancisco
3 жыл бұрын
I loved the 2005 film version of Pride & Prejudice. I generally agree with (or don't mind) the choices the filmmakers made but one scene always bothered me a bit: where Mr and Mrs Bennet are shown lounging in bed in a tender moment, enjoying each other's company. It's a lovely scene but as a lover of the book it struck a wrong chord. I would love to think that in private Mr and Mrs B had an intimate and loving relationship once all the jokes and craziness are pushed aside, but Austen never made it seem so. It's a liberty the film took that takes the edge off the Bennet marriage that is nice but perhaps weakens the contrast that Austen provided to show how much better a match was if both partners are well-suited to each other.
@beatrizmedeirosnoleto9391
3 жыл бұрын
I think that moment in the film doesn't clash necessarily with what we read in the books. Their two eldest daughters hit the jackpot, and saved the entire family from ruin. Mrs. Bennet will surely be a lot calmer because of that. Mr. Bennett was forced to admit how wrong he was, that he should have looked for husbands for her daughters, and his wife was somewhat right, after all, some of her schemes beared fruit. They should be in a conciliatory disposition, and had reason to celebrate.
@rebeccam7717
3 жыл бұрын
@@beatrizmedeirosnoleto9391 The book clearly states otherwise: _I wish I could say, for the sake of her [Mrs. Bennet] family, that the accomplishment of her earnest desire in the establishment of so many of her children, produced so happy an effect as to make her a sensible, amiable, well-informed woman for the rest of her life; though perhaps it was lucky for her husband, who might not have relished domestic felicity in so unusual a form, that she still was occasionally nervous and invariably silly._ (chapter 61) Best to rely on the actual source material, rather than on a movie which took innumerable liberties throughout in so many other particulars. Also note that in the same chapter, Jane and Bingley move out of Netherfield after one year, because: _So near a vicinity to _*_her mother_*_ and Meryton relations_ [that would be the Phillips] _was not desirable even to his even temper or her affectionate heart._
@jmarie9997
3 жыл бұрын
Well, at that moment, they had just; offloaded Lydia the embarrassment, and seen two daughters engaged to wealthy men. The wolf has been driven from their door. Lizzie and Jane's futures are settled. Kitty, Mary and Mrs Bennet are safe from poverty, and Mr Bennet didn't have to do anything! The part that I thought was unrealistic was when Lizzie had to talk her father out of repaying Mr. Darcy.
@shrimpdance4761
11 ай бұрын
I, too, love the film and that struck me as a poor choice.
@drrobertashechter5083
4 ай бұрын
I fully enjoy your wonderful comments about the works of Jane Austen; the characters in her books come alive in you thoughtful explanations. Dr Roberta, New York NY USA
@dlou3264
3 жыл бұрын
Excellent analysis. Fully agree! Greatly enjoyed as well!
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it. Octavia
@BeeWhistler
3 жыл бұрын
I do think Alison Steadman was a good casting choice for her. She was quite a beauty when she was young and was still nice looking in the mini-series but showing her years. And you could see how her behavior in someone as young as Lydia would have looked much the same but people might have seen it as teasing until they found out she didn't have much going on underneath.
@DelGuy03
3 жыл бұрын
Yes, I was thinking of Alison Steadman as an exception to the usual practice of casting Mrs B as something of a harridan. Emma Thompson, even now, might be good casting for the role too -- good looks, expert understated comedic delivery, with a shrewd eye amidst all her silliness.
@amanitamuscaria7500
11 ай бұрын
Alison Steadman was a perfect Mrs B
@edithengel2284
6 ай бұрын
@@amanitamuscaria7500 Badly directed though. Too hysterical and one-note even for Mrs. B.
@davidsaks8752
2 жыл бұрын
When the next P&P film remake is embarked upon, hopefully Mrs Bennet will be depicted as JA intended her to be, essentially an older version of Lydia, rather than as the usual twittering comic frump of somewhat advanced age. Aside from being more faithful to the novel it would bring an interesting, and fresh dimension to the way it is usually adapted for the screen.
@sephythelark
3 жыл бұрын
I thought Mr. Bennet was being sarcastic with his wife and it went over her head, which is he why he mentioned “in such cases, a woman has not often much beauty to think of.”
@a.borschevsky1299
4 жыл бұрын
I was actually wondering whether the sentence "Her father, captivated by youth and beauty, and that appearance of good humour which youth and beauty generally give, had married a woman whose weak understanding and illiberal mind had very early in their marriage put and end to all real affection for her." could in fact be Elizabeth's free indirect discourse? We know she is very critical of her mother, and very much embarrassed by her (a bit like a teenage child would be), and also that she is very close and very affectionate with her father. Could it then be Elizabeth's (oversimplified) explanation to herself about her parents marriage?
@DrOctaviaCox
4 жыл бұрын
Oh yes, I definitely think it could be read as Lizzy’s own opinion - the chapter opens, after all, with explicit reference to her “opinion”: “Had Elizabeth’s opinion been all drawn from her own family, she could not have formed a very pleasing opinion of conjugal felicity or domestic comfort. Her father, captivated by youth and beauty…”. The text leaves it opaque whether we are hearing the thoughts of the narrative voice or the character - as is usually the case with Austen’s Free Indirect Discourse, it’s left to the reader to determine. While the text is couched as “Her father”, I think it could well be either: Lizzy could be thinking in terms of “Her [own] father”, and the narrative voice could also use this phrase as a neat segue between the two sentences. But later in the paragraph the text is couched as “Mr Bennet” - here, I think, the language is more clearly that of the narrative voice (who would be more likely to address him, more formally, as “Mr Bennet”): “But Mr. Bennet was not of a disposition to seek comfort for the disappointment which his own imprudence had brought on, in any of those pleasures which too often console the unfortunate for their folly or their vice … the true philosopher will derive benefit from such as are given.”
@nidhird
3 жыл бұрын
Yes you’re right that this is what Lizzie believes about her parents marriage. She realises how unsuitable they are for each other and the ill effects of marrying in haste without getting to know the other person, (although whether it’s even possible to know the other person properly during a short acquaintance is doubtful). But Lizzie is determined to marry only a person she loves and genuinely cares for. Part of the reason she’s not intimidated by wealth and position of the gentlemen she meets .
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
The whole general courtship process of the C18th & C19th rather precluded getting to know the person properly beforehand - hardly a recipe for wedded bliss one would have thought.
@nidhird
3 жыл бұрын
@@DrOctaviaCox yes maybe that’s why Jane isn’t eager to show her feelings for mr Bingley too soon. She wants time to ascertain his character before committing herself (contrary to what Charlotte says she should) . Jane is still quite young, only 23 and hopes to fall in love with the right person rather than being forced to marry in desperation. Whereas Charlotte is much older and wants the security of marriage as does not expect to find love, and therefore accepts mr Collins as soon as she can.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Indeed, Nidhird - as Lizzy says to Charlotte during their conversation about Jane and Bingley, Jane has not yet known Bingley long enough to know if she actually likes him well enough to marry him: [Charlotte:] “...Jane should therefore make the most of every half-hour in which she can command his attention. When she is secure of him, there will be more leisure for falling in love as much as she chooses.” “Your plan is a good one,” replied Elizabeth, “where nothing is in question but the desire of being well married, and if I were determined to get a rich husband, or any husband, I dare say I should adopt it. But these are not Jane’s feelings; she is not acting by design. As yet, she cannot even be certain of the degree of her own regard nor of its reasonableness. She has known him only a fortnight. She danced four dances with him at Meryton; she saw him one morning at his own house, and has since dined with him in company four times. This is not quite enough to make her understand his character.” ( _Pride and Prejudice_ ch.6) Charlotte then says that "Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance", to which Lizzy responds “You make me laugh, Charlotte; but it is not sound. You know it is not sound, and that you would never act in this way yourself”. Of course, as we soon discover, Charlotte _would_ indeed act this way herself.
@megboland8016
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this channel. In reading the commentary and your responses I feel as though I am taking part in a book club with a very clever presenter. I will certainly go to your other videos. Do you intend to do much comparing and contrasting with other authors? I found your comments on Mr Rochester illuminating, especially as you included quotes from the book.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Many thanks Meg - I'm glad you're enjoying my channel! I think the way that writers engage with each other's writing is fascinating - it's almost like a conversation through the literature. And I certainly do plan to make more videos on the Brontës in the future. I have a video comparing Austen ('Emma') and Virginia Woolf ('Mrs Dalloway') and their different uses of proto- / 'stream-of-consciousness', which may be of interest: kzitem.info/news/bejne/k3qAz5qLkKd1kqw
@shrimpdance4761
11 ай бұрын
Dr. Cox, your videos are gold mines! They not only give valuable insight into the book, but the period itself.
@--enyo--
Жыл бұрын
I have to admit I always figured that the marriage of Catherine Morland and Henry Tilney would end up like Mr and Mrs Bennett.
@franbell3594
3 жыл бұрын
I always thought Mr Bennet was being sarcastic about Mrs Bennet being as handsome as her daughters - he's not an easy man to read at times!
@jgw5491
3 жыл бұрын
I did, too.
@albertgainsworth
3 жыл бұрын
Jane was too ladylike to make it clearer, but she was good looking and had a great figure and he lusted after her. Just like many of us. Marry in haste ......
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
And Mr Bennet does seem to have repented in a leisurely fashion indeed: "But Mr. Bennet was not of a disposition to seek comfort for the disappointment which his own imprudence had brought on, in any of those pleasures which too often console the unfortunate for their folly or their vice. He was fond of the country and of books; and from these tastes had arisen his principal enjoyments. To his wife he was very little otherwise indebted, than as her ignorance and folly had contributed to his amusement. This is not the sort of happiness which a man would in general wish to owe to his wife; but where other powers of entertainment are wanting, the true philosopher will derive benefit from such as are given." (ch.42)
@nidhird
3 жыл бұрын
@@DrOctaviaCox yes he could definitely find entertainment in mocking his wife’s folly and hysterics as there was no hope for change and he couldn’t have changed her even if he’d tried. (Although he could’ve been more tactful in front of his children)But to mock his younger daughters and make no attempt to modify and correct their behaviour was clearly wrong and irresponsible of him. He definitely could’ve been a better father if only he took the pain to do so. But he was more interested in his own pleasures and pastimes.
@DrOctaviaCox
3 жыл бұрын
Mr Bennet does not realise something that both Lizzy and Darcy accept: [Lizzy says:] “"I have always supposed it to be my own fault-because I will not take the trouble of practising...” Darcy smiled and said, “You are perfectly right”. (ch.31)
@ellie698
2 жыл бұрын
This is my favourite video of yours. It's concise and to the point, very well edited and i love the inclusion of the text nice and big and clear on the screen as you're referring to it. This is a perfect format for a close reading analysis video. More like this please! ♥️
@mingyusmop9907
3 жыл бұрын
if family was a competition mr bennet wouldn’t even get a participation certificate 😃
@dolorescordell129
Ай бұрын
Also really enjoy the comments of the many insightful posters!
@alexeloriaga8285
3 жыл бұрын
This was one of the few Austen relationships that made sense to me. I always thought Mr. and Mrs. Bennet were the cutest couple! You can totally see where they get on each other's last nerves, but overall I think they weren't the best match, but a good one. I really like hearing your analysis though and I always learn something new when I do.
@dfchang813
2 жыл бұрын
Seems obvious enough to me. I mean Jane is supposed to be beautiful enough to launch a thousand ships and Lizzy was obviously pretty enough to completely bewitch Darcy. Lydia we all know about and even Kitty has been described as pretty. Where do you think all those good looks come from?!? 😅😅
@Silver_Owl
2 жыл бұрын
While I like Mr Bennet, I felt he was wrong to let his children see he had a low opinion of their mother. Elizabeth reflects on the same thing in Chapter 42. I'm a parent myself, and while my spouse and I might lovingly tease one another openly, we've always shown each other a certain respect in front of our children. (We do respect each other, but if we didn't, we wouldn't show it!)
@sarahalessa78
3 жыл бұрын
One thing that i find a bit heartbreaking about Mrs. Bennet is the way she always becomes ill, the moment something goes wrong or the moment she can't controll things. That's of course highly manipulative behaviour but i have so often seen this kind of behaviour displayed in people who are not taken seriously and have no other way than to be manipulative. When Mr. Bennett declares he will not meet Mr. Bingly she is desperate and complains of her headaches and when Lydia runs off she is bedridden. This could be narcissistic, manipulative behaviour but what way of putting a husband who doesn't respect you or listens to you or takes you the least bit seriously, has she as a women in that time. She uses everything she can, and i go as far as to say, she has no other option really. And knowing, that her husband doesn't respect her and even worse, doesn't respect the girls, it's no wonder she is a bit hysterical and is only thinking about her daughters. I think, if Jane Austen had lived longer, had married and had have five daughters little money and an indifferent husband, her observation of such mothers would have been as sharp and genius as ever but maybe a bit more tenderly too.
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