I fail to see how being nice is being submissive, niceness is the most redeeming quality a person can have
@mindforlife321
2 ай бұрын
I disagree. Goodness is the most redeeming quality a person can have. Niceness and goodness are not always the same. Of course it’s sometimes good to be nice. But not always.
@60wwediva
2 ай бұрын
No offense but you clearly exposed so mant aspects of your life by stating this. you're telling us you don't know anyone who has experienced poverty or you yourself has never been in poverty, you don't know anyone who has been cheated on, physicallly abused, lied to, scammed, taken something without giving it back, been manipulated, etc. it's life experience. Kidness and Niceness aren't the same. Havent you heard of good guys finish last?
@noonelikeme81
2 ай бұрын
@@60wwediva that's why there are many disappointments and divorces, cuz ppl choose opposite of nice. So being nice is not a problem, it's the choices ppl make.
@mindforlife321
2 ай бұрын
@@60wwediva If you watch the video, I mention in there that you do need to be kind, you do need to be good, and yo do need to be charitable. I just note that nice isn't the same thing. You can be kind while not necessarily being "nice."
@blairsterling6141
2 ай бұрын
Nice, kind, sweet, charitable is all about the same...they are all positive attributes...as opposed to: mean, cruel, angry, jealous, selfish.
@mindforlife321
2 ай бұрын
Somewhat, but there is a difference in my opinion between being nice and being kind. You can be nice and kind. You can also be kind and not so nice. You can also be nice and not necessarily kind or good. So in ways they are similar, but in others they are different.
@redtailarts101
2 ай бұрын
You have a really weird definition of niceness. Being nice doesn't mean being a doormat
@harrisond8132
2 ай бұрын
Right?
@mindforlife321
2 ай бұрын
I agree. You can and should be nice for sure. But there are times when you have to say and do something and in doing that, you are trying to be good. However you may not be considered nice for doing it. And that’s ok.
@aaronyoung2263
2 ай бұрын
I think you mean don’t be weak. Weak and nice is a dark combination. Real niceness requires strength, rare strength, and it’s a lovely trait. The problem is an epidemic of weak personalities. People who lack values and self esteem while still loving the crap out of themselves can’t really be nice. The only two groups I can think of who are nodding their heads to this are people looking for permission to stop being nice meaning sociopaths and weak submissive people. There is a strong nice that is totally valid and worth cultivating, but the ability to do that isn’t governed by one’s determination to be nice. It comes from a lot of other kinds of growth.
@mindforlife321
2 ай бұрын
That’s a good thought. When you say “real niceness” I think that’s what I would call goodness. Weakness finds its path into niceness when we aren’t strong enough to do the things that are good but may not be necessarily nice. Thanks for the insightful thoughts.
@cullenwilliams2391
2 ай бұрын
Wouldn’t it take more emotional regulation to be nice during a difficult interaction than to let your emotions control your thoughts and actions?
@mindforlife321
2 ай бұрын
Controlling your emotions is important for sure, and you should because uncontrolled emotions can lead to being unkind and not nice. But you can be kind and good, in my opinion, control your emotions, and not be considered necessarily nice.
@sarahd1706
2 ай бұрын
I differentiate the definitions of nice & kind the way you do. Saying, “he’s nice” is not as complimentary as saying, “he’s kind.”
@mindforlife321
2 ай бұрын
I agree 100%
@sarahd1706
2 ай бұрын
When someone is “standing on my foot” & I let them know, I know who cares about me by how they react to me letting them know they’re hurting me. I’m done with being nice by letting them “stand on my foot”. It’s kind to speak up & give them a chance to have a good, honest, respectful & happy relationship with you.
@mindforlife321
2 ай бұрын
Exactly! 💯
@DeepakKumar-lv4te
3 ай бұрын
I would say considerate rather than charitable but no real difference here. Being straight forward has served me well often, but being "nice" especially to girls was always a turn of it seems. Very confusing when I was younger, but then as you say, it's not really genuine, it's just a mannerism that you think you should do.
@mindforlife321
3 ай бұрын
Right. Being nice can often lead us to be deceptive. And we should strive, as you mentioned to be authentic. 🙏🏼
@marissa3508
2 ай бұрын
This is true. It's detrimental for your mental health because you're submissive to the other person and suppressing your feelings and desires and in my case I haven even develop feelings of not wanting to live anymore
@mindforlife321
2 ай бұрын
💯
@dukington101
2 ай бұрын
Being nice can easily turn into being slightly patronizing, being nice is also fake most of the time, I used to think women were dumb for turning down nice guys, but sometimes you can see that a nice guy would/could eventually get himself and his wife scammed by his lack of backbone and character reading skills overly nice people usually have. Many nice people also have horrific family problems.
@sarahd1706
2 ай бұрын
You’re right. This is natural biology, even if birth control is now a big thing. It’s vulnerable & dangerous being with a nice guy because then you’d have to protect yourself & do everything while pregnant or focusing on taking care of little children. If a man is going to impregnate a woman putting her in a very vulnerable state (also, child bearing is life threatening), she needs a man to provide the protection & security of having food & shelter & medical care to help her & the children be safe & succeed. Having a kind man will be important so she & the children are safe with him around, but he needs to be tough to any potential threats to the nest & be good at providing for their basic needs. We naturally desire that & sniff it out while dating. Women tend to be overly nice & easier to take advantage of, (yes partly because of conditioning, but) because we are naturally wired to sacrifice our own needs & bodies to keep babies alive. Unfortunately our nature that keeps babies alive, bleeds out into other areas of life, even being that way with many men who aren’t nice or kind enough to not take advantage of her.
@MommaBao
2 ай бұрын
I didn't agree with the title ... but I totally agree with what you're saying. Pretty that's how I'm living my life already, at times I can be pretty unpopular these days b/c I'm just honest
@mindforlife321
2 ай бұрын
Thanks for watching!
@EJofLA
2 ай бұрын
I agree thanks!
@cszabo8899
2 ай бұрын
So, don’t be a pushover.
@gu3610
2 ай бұрын
Ok I get it it makes sense. Now I need to learn what are those things a nice person do and what are those a kind person do. Just to clarify it.
@quickgirl80
2 ай бұрын
I need clarification too.
@mindforlife321
2 ай бұрын
A kind person is willing to say and do the hard things that a nice person may not do. You can be nice and kind for sure. But someone’s you have to be kind and good and it may not be nice. You should endeavor to tell the truth to people in a kind and good way. However when you do that, you may not be considered nice. In these cases being good is better than not doing what you should just to be nice.
@gu3610
2 ай бұрын
@@mindforlife321 Oh yes! Now i understand! Thank you! So a NICE person wouldn't tell things that would hurt others but the a KIND person does tell the hurtful statement but tells it in a kind way. Great!
@mindforlife321
2 ай бұрын
I think that sounds about right. 🙏🏼
@user-zh5fh2li9u
2 ай бұрын
Both "kind" and "nice" are relativeky the same type of attribute. The problem with being either one, is that some that have ASPD/Dark Triad traits will use it against you, in addition to, viewing it as a weakness. A weakness in which some with ASPD/Dark Triad traits will manipulate and take FULL advantage of (exploit)! So, one really needs to be careful with who they are "kind" or "nice" to. Personally, I feel that being "kind" /"nice" is a fantastic attribute, however, after getting burned, one needs to be VERY careful ! -Jen Gable (Justeson) Just because you may be trustworthy/"kind"/"nice", does NOT mean that everyone is ! Some put on a very good front in the beginning, then, once they get comfortable with you, their mask slips, and their true deviant/psychotic nature may appear.
@redtailarts101
2 ай бұрын
What the actual fuck is wrong with you. The "Dark Triad" isn't real and ASPD is a fucking disability. People with personality disorders, INCLUDING Narcissistic and Antisocial personality disorders, are not inherently abusive or manipulative, and they'd be much less so if ableism like this wasn't so rampant that getting help is impossible
@tommytomtom5531
2 ай бұрын
This is as "nice" as I GET ! right here m'fuggah. If you need a favor ask it now.
@mindforlife321
2 ай бұрын
t least you’re available. 🤣
@tommytomtom5531
2 ай бұрын
@@mindforlife321 Hahaha. Now that is funny 😆
@jozefciszewski2074
2 ай бұрын
She: can you wash the dishes? Me: RU f.....g kidding me? Pass me my 🍺! And that's what I call not being nice 😂😂😂
@redtailarts101
2 ай бұрын
You sound extremely unpleasant to be around ever
@mindforlife321
2 ай бұрын
Well that is a form of assertiveness. 🤣
@redtailarts101
2 ай бұрын
@@mindforlife321 it's also a guaranteed way to never get bitches
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