What will you do if your wife suddenly says she wants a divorce, should you give up? Watch Paul explain some cases that he encountered when he's a divorce mediator.
My credentials is that I've been doing this for a couple of decades. Before this, I was a divorce mediator. I know lots and lots of people in the divorce business and in the marriage
saving business and I hate to say give up but if your wife wants divorce chances are not good that you'll be able to recover. Also, chances are you're already separated. Chances are and I hate to say this but chances are she's already filed.
Why do men wait so long?
Why do women wait so long?
We keep hoping beyond hope that things will change so let me explain the dynamics here. You got married to be happy. Your wife got married to be happy. The number one
component in a marriage that is falling apart is a term I coined called over-familiarity and basically, what it means is that you take each other for granted. It's almost like a toss-up who's going to be the one that says, "We shouldn't be married anymore." Because when that sets in and it starts becoming the marriage where here is bickering, arguing, cold-shoulders, you don't get along, the sex is terrible.
There's no intimacy, there's no real companionship and the things that are holding you
together are really thin except for the children. If there are children involved, you should
try with everything you have to keep that marriage together without intimidating her, without making her be stupid for wanting divorce even though you have kids because that won't work. It'll push her further away and faster so I'll tell you what you can do and
I'll tell you what sometimes works. So, what you can do is you have to do an overhaul of yourself and if she's already asked for a divorce chances are 99% that just reading one of
my books is not going to help you. It'll give you some insight but it won't help you.
If you do not change yourself and what does that mean, it means changing your habits and your reactions to things. To do that requires methods and techniques that someone had to develop and I developed them based on marriage. You cannot do it by yourself, I wish you
could but you can't. If she's still living at home and she's just talking about divorce and she doesn't have another boyfriend she's not in an emotional affair or whatever maybe it'll
work, maybe she's telling you I want a divorce to get your attention. I'm hoping that's
what it is. In those cases, the course for men is probably going to work not like a high 90% but a good 55% chance if though she has moved out or you have moved out -- the odds are reduced tremendously.
If you have children and you're interacting in a friendly way, the odds are still okay under 50% but still okay that down the road she may learn to trust you again and maybe, but it'll be a fresh start it won't be the same marriage. If she's filed, chances are very slim. If
she's having an emotional affair with someone chances are very slim. If you have betrayed her chances are very slim. I'm just being very honest with you and I'm not saying your case isn't different but I'm sharing with you what we see day in and day out at The Marriage
Foundation.
If you want to get personal with what's going on and you want to write to one of our counselors, it's free. they'll give you a clearer idea and maybe you'll know better. Now either way, if you have children you need to learn to get along with your wife even if she's moved on and she's going to get remarried. It's imperative for your kids so please don't just put that little thing aside. It's not a little, thing it's a big thing. I know this isn't the most uplifting video I've ever done and I'm sorry for that and I pray for you and I pray for your wife. It's not good I wish you guys had come to us sooner but I never give up hope and I hope you don't too.
#marriageanddivorce #marriagewithoutdivorce #frustratedwoman #frustrated #unhappywife #marriageissues
Негізгі бет Wife Wants Divorce Should I Give Up | Paul Friedman
Пікірлер: 19