I just saw a manosphere post that said "Don't date a woman who prioritizes her happiness" I guess prioritizing misery and struggle is what they think good girls do.
@jessikajane4967
Жыл бұрын
If more of the men who follow that type of content actually took that advice, they would stay out of most women's hair 😂 Let the pickmeisha and trad wives deal with them.
@iamdangerous5189
Жыл бұрын
I deal with manosphere dudes the same way female dragonflies do to the males. Play dead.
@Anti-PC-OG-Feminist
Жыл бұрын
Let me guess...was it from that scmbg Tom Leykis?
@Anti-PC-OG-Feminist
Жыл бұрын
@@iamdangerous5189 The problem with that is...menz will F anything and everything. Including a (what appears to be) dead body...literally and figuratively.
@ak-47intelligence75
Жыл бұрын
Good news. It appears, then, by default, I am eliminated from the manospheres dating pool 😂
@DanielaGlint
Жыл бұрын
I hate the glorification of women sacrifice. Why should the women sacrifice themselves??? Ugh!
@cherylwin9364
Жыл бұрын
I LOVE THE GREAT AND GLORIFYING SACRIFICE THAT JESUS CHRIST DID FOR ALL OF US AT THE CROSS ON CALVARY, THIS MAN REALLY LOVES US. ❤️😇❤️
@Melly16yr10
Жыл бұрын
Fucking hate it to 😡🤬. I won't allow myself to be that, even if it means being a Bitch.
@ak-47intelligence75
Жыл бұрын
Stop tolerating their screwd up behaviour. They'll threaten you with a breakup , LET . THEM. LEAVE. !!!! Let them go where they need to go and let them be with pickmesha and Barbara the builder. Their problem !!!
@sophiam9886
Жыл бұрын
The truth is that M€N are supposed to be the sacrifice. It says it all through the Bible but the m¤le preachers have disgraced The Word by twisting it for their own wicked desires!
@cherylwin9364
Жыл бұрын
@@sophiam9886 YESHUA IS THE ONLY SACRIFICE THAT IS ACCEPTABLE TO OUR GOD YAH. YOU HAVE DISCERNED CORRECTLY ABOUT THE WAYS IN WICH MANKIND HAS TWISTED AND DISTORTED THE WORD OF YAH BUT BE STRONG BECAUSE YAH HAS DESCRIBED IN GREAT DETAIL IN THE BOOK OF REVELATION HOW HE IS GOING TO DEAL WITH THIS WORLD AND THOSE IN IT.
@meganakinsanya4702
Жыл бұрын
There is a saying when a woman stops asking her partner to improve or “nagging” that’s the moment a man should fear that the woman is already strategizing her exit plan 😂
@kyaos_Meteor
Жыл бұрын
And thats scarily unhinged because it really does prove men thrive and flourish off the suffering backs of women aka a relationship
@gloriabyas8088
Жыл бұрын
@@kyaos_MeteorYes
@salliegal8932
Жыл бұрын
I know this may set some women off, but R. Kelly said it..."When I woman's fed up..."
@toscadonna
Жыл бұрын
@@salliegal8932R. Kelly has VAST experience in women being fed up, so I’m not hating the information. Kind of like narcissistic Derek Jackson-he gave great advice to women about guys just like him.😂
@Sunny-tc3ul
Жыл бұрын
@@salliegal8932truer words ever sung.
@singingnimo2024
Жыл бұрын
This reminds me of Tina Turner she was beaten so bad by Ike for so many years even helped raise his kids and no one cared. When she had enough left him and got married to a white man who cared & loved her she treated horribly and was one point considered a traitor to the black community. Did they want her to die at the hands of IKE.
@stuff1784
Жыл бұрын
Seriously!!!
@sobruhkey
Жыл бұрын
She literally married her second husband DECADES after she left Ike, and people were still treating her like she betrayed Ike. Like, seriously? How could you say you're a fan and not want her to be happy?
@pysq8
Жыл бұрын
Just like Nina Simone's husbands used to beat her publicly, and nobody cared. 😢
@theteleisewilliamsexperience
Жыл бұрын
Tina's white husband even gave her a kidney.
@queenla227
Жыл бұрын
Maybe it’s just me and my circle, but we were glad that she had a loving relationship since such a huge chunk of her story was surviving Ike. And that never left him either. He was always associated with being crazy and violent.
@noniboo1521
Жыл бұрын
When men are UNHAPPY in a relationship, THEY LEAVE!!! They find someone long before they make their exit. Women stay waaaay too long and are waaaay to excepting of misery!!
@amab1853
Жыл бұрын
So true!
@idrawattention900
Жыл бұрын
I hate that it takes women longer 2 leave. It's extremely traumatic when there's kid's involved & they're a sahm w no job or no where to go. But once a woman leaves she's gone forever. Me personally every time I've left a toxic friendship or relationship for good I never went back.
@divalizzous
Жыл бұрын
It’s accepting *.
@Forteoverload
Жыл бұрын
So women don't do the same? lol thats rich!
@titandarknight2698
6 ай бұрын
@@Forteoverload The amount of men who remarry after divorce would say otherwise.
@noniboo1521
Жыл бұрын
If women refuse to put up with the unhappiness, they are now called MODERN WOMEN, women who want to be the man, independent women who don't need a man. We are called selfish, bad, not feminine etc etc. The list is endless....
@Goddess_Infinity
8 ай бұрын
Yep !!!! It almost like the expect it and we should deal with it . But it’s because we allow it and don’t put out put down
@S.M412
8 ай бұрын
exactly ! because it’s only acceptable for men to prioritize themselves and their own happiness . only men are allowed to not put up with bs . the moment a woman even thinks she’s allowed the same as an equally important human being , that’s a “masculine” trait and makes her undesirable since she will no longer willingly accept terrible behavior . to men , womanhood = suffering . just listen to how they talk about their moms . it’s very telling . they always praise their mothers for how much their mothers were able to put up with and still perform the “womanly duties” of being kind , sweet , nurturing , etc … despite her miserable circumstances . they are literally looking for surrogate mothers , not just because they want to check out while she does EVERYTHING for them just like mommy , but because she must also be like mommy and be strong enough to shoulder all of the responsibilities and be content with the unhappiness
@AprilHare
2 ай бұрын
Well that list is b.s. and you don't have to worry about it anymore.
@Fattyas1
2 ай бұрын
We actually don’t need men, everytime I’ve gotten into a relationship, my quality of life had to reduce, now I’m single, I’m loving my simple life and it’s less stressful, it’s blissful, just focusing on myself, we do not need men, they mostly make life more stressful.
@Hijinx44
Жыл бұрын
This evolution of women should TERRIFY men. I'm starting to see so many women waking up and realizing we've been getting the short end of the stick a LOT and adjusting their lives accordingly and I LOVE IT!!!
@vg1024
Жыл бұрын
nope. not terrified at all.
@Hijinx44
Жыл бұрын
@vg1024 you don't have to lie to me bro 🤣😭😭
@doricetimko5403
Жыл бұрын
I think that’s part of the GQP push against Biden: he has more women in his administration than men; diverse women. Justice Brown another Biden appointment. Just saying….
@PerrySkyePhoenix
Жыл бұрын
Yes! And young women too! I think it's great!
@kellharris2491
Жыл бұрын
i doubt men even notice still.
@LoveAndSnapple
Жыл бұрын
Ever since women learned the phrase “a tolerable level of permanent unhappiness” we all just went 🤯🤯🤯
@choux8372
Жыл бұрын
My coochie dried up so fast
@cherylwin9364
Жыл бұрын
UNHAPPINESS IS NOT PERMANENT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE JOY, FOR THE JOY OF THE LORD IS OUR STRENGTH , NEHEMIAH CHAPTER 8 VERSE 10
@BeautifulEarthJa
Жыл бұрын
That def happened to me
@nobuhlenosipho4861
Жыл бұрын
That what happens when you name the thing we've all been feeling and experiencing. Sadly
@Jujubean9795
Жыл бұрын
@@cherylwin9364what in the world does that have to do with the discussion at hand🤔
@jackiewarner2120
Жыл бұрын
The people that have tolerable unhappiness the most are mothers. So many women have cried on my shoulder expressing how tired, angry, unfulfilled and depressed they are. They have kids and hate their husbands to the degree they hate being touched by them…a man’s true colors come out when he has children…and it’s usually pretty disappointing
@divalizzous
Жыл бұрын
Women know this before becoming mothers but choose to live in denial b/c having that man there is more important than logical thinking. Some are so desperate for the attention of a man that they sacrifice themselves just to have a man. I can’t feel bad for a woman who chooses to put herself in that position when everything points to misery for women when it comes to men and having their children. We are fully aware that touching a hot stove has consequences so if you touch it anyway don’t expect sympathy from those of us who knew better.
@pastelmoon9118
11 ай бұрын
for that reason: dont procreate and dont marry if you like someone test him date for 6 years also demand him and you to take tests to see how much deceases they carry : you want to avoid player who got HIV right? if they say no then they likely are lying and hiding something
@Egh0127
8 ай бұрын
💯💯💯💯💯EXACT situation I'm in
@silververnallbells191
6 ай бұрын
@@divalizzous Not always. A lot of men switch up. They can play Prince Charming til they feel they have you locked down and THEN their true colors come out.
@tarahbruno3793
3 ай бұрын
@@divalizzousagreed! Women know who they are getting into a marriage, relationships and having kids with. It’s up to us to leave early before becoming too invested
@kimberlygillis9074
Жыл бұрын
For thirty-five years I was in a state of a tolerable level permanent unhappiness. My divorce should be final next month. I have never been happier
@lulul0l039
Жыл бұрын
👏🥰Congratulations 🎊 Freedom from surplus labour, emotional unavailability and BS or at least most of it.
@monimuppet6132
Жыл бұрын
💞💞🙌🏾
@MK-hh1vo
Жыл бұрын
🤯 My lord! Bless you and good luck in the future! I "tolerated" unhappiness for a 10 months before I sent him packing!
@BellaLola26
Жыл бұрын
A whole new world 🎉 like this song !!!!
@sophiaelayne9984
11 ай бұрын
I have a similar story. I thank the Divine that he continued to keep a door opened for me until I was strong enough to walk through.
@cccwomensempowerment
Жыл бұрын
The woman in glasses who said men are unhappy they check out but women lean in to work on him is soooo true. When I finally decided to emotionally check out he got violent. That's when I realized my life was more important than staying in a 'tolerable level of permanent unhappiness'.
@Cantetinza17
Жыл бұрын
Yeah that was literally my marriage, but he's the one that filed.
@chayo4537
Жыл бұрын
Why don't women check into to fix their own energy and lives instead of a man's?
@kyaos_Meteor
Жыл бұрын
@@chayo4537 because all their lives they are taught they are the emotional regulators, counselors, wives/girlfriends for these dudes and said dudes dont have to return the favor or do the work themselves
@tonglag2089
Жыл бұрын
When he checked out I went into overload trying to save the marriage and completely lost myself
@cccwomensempowerment
Жыл бұрын
@chayo4537 actually I did a lot of that as well. We did counseling, church groups, I started reading tons of selfhelp books to learn how to be a "better wife" so as to support him more (even though I was totally overfunctioning in a codependent marriage). I poured myself into everything I could to make it work. He was verbally abusive, had the dr. Jekyll mr. Hide tendencies. One minute I was the love of his life, the next day I was b$c&h that he wished he'd never married. By the time I emotionally checked out it really was because I was completely drained and exhausted. I literally felt like I had given my whole soul to our marriage. And thank God we didn't have kids. After the divorce he stalked and threatened me. There is no doubt in my mind he would have escalated to physical abuse had I stayed.
@Diana734
Жыл бұрын
You only have one life so do not waste it on people that do not love or respect you.
@vanaphill2454
Жыл бұрын
Unhappiness should never be tolerated.
@MK-hh1vo
Жыл бұрын
@@vg1024That's the choice I made. 5+ decades and I could not be happier! But I thought other women *wanted* marriage and children. I'm surprised at the number of women who are tolerating unhappiness just to say "At least I got a man and kids" as if that's some sort of desired goal.
@coolcat3452
8 ай бұрын
Talking about women walking on eggshells in their marriage/relationship!!….it’s painful because as women trying to make it work tolerating men bs; men take the advantage to make the woman unhappy & miserable for their own pleasure & to boost their own ego!! No more!!😢😢
@blaqobsydian44
Жыл бұрын
I think they expect us to put up with this unhappiness because THEY live in a permanent state of unhappiness. I’ve never met a man who was GENUINELY happy. I don’t think they know what that means.
@nappyqueen86
Жыл бұрын
Excellent observation. Who can be happy on this crazy society
@toomuchinformation
Жыл бұрын
Do you listen to Princella?
@blaqobsydian44
Жыл бұрын
@@toomuchinformation Yup ☺️
@brandiphillips5775
Жыл бұрын
I think they require us to be subjugated before they feel adequately loved and are happy. It’s the subjugation that makes us miserable and the only way they’re happy because they’re emotionally immature and want mommies instead of partners.
@divalizzous
Жыл бұрын
Men are not unhappy b/c society serves them. They want us to put up w/ unhappiness b/c that is the only way they can be happy. When a straight woman who is in a relationship has a smile on her face, just know that somewhere there is a man that is miserable at her happiness. When a straight woman in a relationship looks like she’s contemplating su!cide just know that the man in her life is happier than a kid in a candy store. They thrive off of our misery b/c 9x out of 10 it is b/c of them that we are miserable and what ever is causing that misery benefits them some way. Whether it be doing all of the housework, taking care of the kids, sex when we don’t want to etc. Males have no reason to be unhappy. We have every reason to.
@beepbopboop7727
Жыл бұрын
Men typically measure how much you love them by how much you are willing to do for them. They want you to give them everything to prove that you love them.
@Cheirosa81
Жыл бұрын
This! They ❤ what we do for them.
@PinkPrincess88
Жыл бұрын
I feel like men will always do what’s best for them and be in a relationship that benefits them in some kind of way We as women should do the same😉
@Arbitraryusername
8 ай бұрын
My biggest red flag is when a dude says he’ll always make the best choice for us… bullshit. The fact that you need to say that means it’s never going to be true.
@silververnallbells191
6 ай бұрын
@@Arbitraryusername See, I don't like that. How about "WE make the best choice for us" - I like that more. I don't need a man (or anyone) to make decisions for me.
@singingnimo2024
Жыл бұрын
wow....wow ...This sister said "because they see that you are in pain that makes them feel loved" That statement got me scratching my head. She might have a point some men are psychopaths & narcissists so I can see how some might like seeing us miserable but if I have to be miserable for you to feel my love. WE ARE OUT.
@ak-47intelligence75
Жыл бұрын
That's many mxn like this out there. The way I see it, my happiness comes first. If I'm not happy, ITS OVER. And stop tolerating their shtty behaviour in the name of love. They don't tolerate/compromise their happiness, comfort and self respect for a wxman.
@mikeilabiddle1757
Жыл бұрын
I have had a man tell me verbatim he is "happiest when you are crying because it proves to me that you actually care". Not even that it made him happy, these were literally his *happiest* moments in our relationship.
@vonnii1013
Жыл бұрын
i said that too...which explains why men will make another man feel like shit if said man admits he wants his wife to happy and hes happy when she is happy....they will call that man a simp.....smh i remember when russell said he fears losing ciara cause he loves his wife and his life with her.....soo many men came out calling him a simp...why is he a simp? cause he loves his wife and loves seeing her happy and thriving and hes happy he can contrtibute to that happiness smh men are sick on some level.....that saying " happy wife happy life" alot of men despise that saying cause they feel that puts more emphasis on her happiness and less on his so hes shit out of luck.....i am sooo glad im making peace with being single...shit is crazy lol no one should give up happiness NO ONE
@anarcho-communist11
Жыл бұрын
Yea I got that feeling in my last relationship that it was an ego boost for him when I was miserable but stuck around. It shouldn't have flattered him so much since I only stayed because I believed he was changing, though.
@baddie1shoe
11 ай бұрын
My ex once shared with me that when I cried he was very turned on. 👀☠️
@ssxsrubicon7352
Жыл бұрын
Been divorced and I’m not into getting remarried. This conversation is much broader than we know. I think our connections with other human beings has become strained in certain ways. It’s better to cut ties and no longer pine away with hope. As it relates directly to men,,,, they have actually devolved in their masculinity and have become quite begrudging towards women. Very spiteful and fueled by eons of bitter hate fueled men.
@tinachristine4573
Жыл бұрын
You have not lied at all. Lots of angry and resentful m3n out here, it's shocking to experience.
@annaking1375
Жыл бұрын
Exactly, this exactly. Human beings deserve respect and cannot be placed in societal sanctioned boxed for mental, emotional and spiritual laziness because people don’t want to progress or evolve 😢😢😢😢 because it’s hard
@cherylwin9364
Жыл бұрын
I KNOW A MAN WHO IS FULL OF LOVE AND WANTS A RELATIONSHIP WITH EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US AND HIS NAME IS YESHUA . PLEASE HAVE A ONE ON ONE CONVERSATION WITH HIM BY READING THE BASIC INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE LEAVING EARTH AKA THE BIBLE YOU WONT BE THE SAME AFTERWARDS ♥️😇♥️
@SE-gs6gd
Жыл бұрын
💯
@ashleylatson91
Жыл бұрын
@@cherylwin9364 Amen.
@TrulyUnbothered
Жыл бұрын
When i was in my 20s i was taught by other unhappy women, that it's normal to feel unappreciated in a relationship. No woman is really appreciated. Our job is to care for our families. That made me depressed. In my 30s i left and started my healing journey and now im labeled negativity for choosing me over mental pain. It's extremely difficult being a strong educated melinated woman. We are constantly under attack for having standards. I was literally told to lower mine. Smh
@inlandempress4587
Жыл бұрын
well, honestly if you stay and he is not able or willing to enter counseling, you do have to lower your standards to survive. Or leave. OR LEAVE. I will never turn back lol😂🎉😂🎉
@chanelsings83
Жыл бұрын
Isn’t that funny how women (especially black women) are taught and in most cases expected to lower our standards or told that we have impossible standards but no one ever tells men to lower their standards? For men, their list of desires in a woman are full of contradictions and those imaginary women don’t exist but since women are taught from an early age to make sure you are desirable to men, a lot of women spend a lot of time and money trying to check every box on that impossible list and often times women are left feeling inferior. It starts early so we need to change not only what we verbally teach our daughters but also what they visually learn from us. I grew up thinking a woman was supposed to handle everything and work a 9-5 but all the man is supposed to do is work and you make sure his plate is made, the house is clean, the kids are taken care of and you are presentable and ready to please. That’s why I am personally teaching not only my daughters differently but my sons as well. That’s part of the problem too.
@Cynnas
Жыл бұрын
When I was in my 20s I noticed how women chose to be miserable like it was a contest. Ive been happily married for 18 years and am very much appreciated mostly because I appreciate my husband and other things in my life
@divalizzous
Жыл бұрын
The fact that Black males aren’t offended that Black women are told to lower our standards when dealing w/ them proves how the Black community literally revolves around them. If a Black women dares to have the audacity to want a MAN on her level, we are seen as problematic b/c the Black community knows that those needs can’t be met w/ a male that looks like us.
@juliebella1221
Жыл бұрын
Our elder women...."if he hits you that means he likes you..."
@esjay-rh7wx
Жыл бұрын
I was re-watching an episode of “Insecure” today. The Lawrence character is in a strip club with his 3 less-than-evolved friends who are all complaining about women. The married friend says that he tells his wife all the time, “Hey, sometimes marriage sucks; deal with it.” And I thought, omg he wants her to accept a tolerable level of permanent unhappiness. With that one statement he made it clear that he will make no effort to listen to his wife's issues or work on improving their marriage. The friends even praise their grandmothers for staying in unhappy marriages with their triflin' grandfathers who cheated on them (one grandfather even had a second family across town). These idiots couldn't understand why today's women won't do the same🤦🏽♀It’s amazing that the writers of the show were talking about this subject several years ago when the episode first aired.
@LoveAndSnapple
Жыл бұрын
I just finished watching the series for the first time last week. I was able to watch it when it first came out for two seasons, but couldn’t get access to HBO again. And I was able to finish watching seasons three through five. I hated that Chad was able to get back with his fiancé, but she was no good either because she was already a married woman. The entire show was just showing how men got over on women in multiple different ways and always came out on top. The only men who I remember being treated poorly was Jared, Nathan, and Andrew.
@NG-th8ny
Жыл бұрын
I really enjoyed watching Insecure and blitzed all series within a week. Issa Rae is amazing!
@esjay-rh7wx
Жыл бұрын
@@NG-th8ny Yes she is! I really miss "Insecure"; that show could have easily continued for another 1-2 seasons.
@thewrongshoes
Жыл бұрын
Omg!!! I hear a LOT of men praise their grandmothers for this! See- she loved my grandfather even though she had a whole 2nd family across town, beat her ass, etc. They absolutely praise the idea of wives being miserable and mistreated and tolerating it !!!
@esjay-rh7wx
Жыл бұрын
@@thewrongshoes Yes it's disgusting how they get an ego boost from the wives' misery of trying to stay married to disrespectful men. What they fail to understand (or acknowledge) is that the grandmothers didn't have the financial, educational or professional resources that today's women have. Grandma may have had a 7th grade education with only domestic/housekeeping job skills that wouldn't pay enough to support her and her kids if she left grandpa's punk ass. Two to three generations ago it was impossible (in the U.S.) for women to own property alone or even take out credit in their own name. Grandpa's paycheck allowed Grandma to feed and care for the kids along with obtain assets like home ownership. Grandpa knew this, which is why he showed his ass throughout the marriage. Women of today are more educated and have access to higher paying professional jobs, thanks in large part to their moms (and some good dads) helping them get the opportunities the moms never had. If Grandma had the resources of today's women, she would have dumped Grandpa, sent him over to his 2nd family, raised her kids on her salary from her good-paying job, and lived out the rest of her life in peace.
@EconomicWarfare
Жыл бұрын
I always preferred long distance relationships, because I can't tolerate men in my space for too long. I was very unhappy when I was in relationships, because they were too needy and emotionally. Being single and free is blissful, to this introverted Aquarius. 😂❤
@jessitabonita
Жыл бұрын
😂 Same here!
@azureavocado5195
Жыл бұрын
🔥 fire sign here & I’ll keep it blunt- Males are not worth all of this the stress, disrespect, disease and/or trauma. Women were more cowardly in generations prior. They willfully suffered with these creatures. And it got them NOWHERE.
@sydlaw2941
Жыл бұрын
😂😂 this is so funny because I'm an Aquarius as well and just started dating long distance for this very reason. I keep saying I'm an anti-social extrovert.
@weightlesscrownsllc9117
Жыл бұрын
Another Aquarian here who folks think is crazy for preferring LDR!!!🙋🏾♀️
@vg1024
Жыл бұрын
whoa, every aquarius I've dated has been misandrist. Now I know who to avoid.
@starlingswallow
11 ай бұрын
"They know we are unhappy and the _DON'T CARE."_ Yup.
@levelupgoddess9289
Жыл бұрын
Males DONT care if ur unhappy in a relationship as long as he is happy and befitting from u. I’m glad the lady mentioned King of Queens etc. On Tuesday I was watching Everybody Loves Raymond because someone else was watching it and in the Episode Ray tricked Debra into going to golf and he had a panic attack and the doctor recommended him “golf more” since he’s so stressed. In the beginning of the Episode Ray came came from work while Debra was cooking with one of the twins on her hip, the other twin around the table with the sister. She was taking care of the kids and cooking at the same time while doing chores and all Ray did was go to work and come home yet HE was stressed. Rays mother even came over while Debra was running around cleaning and cooking and all his mother said after Debra said she was busy and stressed was “are u giving yourself to him”. Like are u serious. All that stress and that’s what u were worried about? Then what baffles me is that Debra did just that, gave him s*x, even after being tired. It was then and there I reminded myself that ALLLLLL these tv shows show women as mules and males being incompetent and how annoyed these males are by their wives. It was shows like these that make me not want to get married. If UNHAPPINESS is what marriage is then I rather be single.
@FreeBLKWoman
Жыл бұрын
Bingo!
@DestinyUteh
Жыл бұрын
Media play a big part on how will think. Am happy we a breaking it but by bit
@rashb3994
Жыл бұрын
It's because trying to make females happy is endless and futile. I think Will Smith and Jada are the perfect example of this and he was on the right track when he said Jada needs to be in charge of her own happiness. He's tried everything. It's on the individual. On top of that women tend to value selfish men and take for granted ones that give their all for them. You see this all the time in the dating dynamics. Obsessed with the bad boy, friendzone the devoted male friend. There's things you guys have to sort through first.
@justcallmebon2684
Жыл бұрын
@@rashb3994Will and Jada are the perfect example because Will was publicly known for his various girlfriends yet it only became a public problem when Jada did it.
@rashb3994
Жыл бұрын
@@justcallmebon2684 Haha false! It became a problem when Jada aired out their dirty laundry for views. This is the type of woman who is never satisfied, which was my point about Will realization about trying to make her happy. It's on her. A less mentally chaotic woman may appreciate his desire to make her happy which is why people advocate for him to leave so he can have that awesome Will Smith comeback we all dream of :)
@PatsyC57
Жыл бұрын
I am old now, my advice to any woman, is to love themselves more, and make themselves the priority above all men; that when you find a partner he understands, he has to be at your level and you will accept no less. No man is perfect and you will never fix a man, don’t even try, love isn’t like in the movies; but if you can find a partner where you can feel free to just be yourself, allow them the same freedom. Keep in mind you are not his mother or his punching bag, you are his partner not his babysitter (I say this because some men have accused me of not looking properly after them, so they strayed). Love yourselves more and set your boundaries, don’t count on any one else for your happiness. You are the only one that can fulfill every whim your heart desires, it can help you fill empty hours.
@amab1853
Жыл бұрын
This was much needed
@Forteoverload
Жыл бұрын
Well said
@mjohnson1741
Ай бұрын
👑👸✌️
@LumerasLight1201
Жыл бұрын
The science and statistics do not lie. A man's life if extended when coupled to a woman however a woman's life is shortened when coupled to a man. Having a man can be a wonderful experience however maintaining separate dwellings and opting out of commitment might be healthier mental, physical and emotional option for women having a difficult time finding a man who adds to her life.
@LeroyJenkin-q9q
7 ай бұрын
Blindsided. haha. I recall telling Matt for over 6 months I was selling my house and he had to move out. This was after we broke up. He wasn't even paying rent. Finally I had to put the house on the market and I told him he had 2 weeks to leave. He said "You're dropping the hammer on me." Some people just LEECH off people for their entire lives and feign bewilderment when there's no more free meals. Thank god I haven't seen that parasite since. But I hope he reads this someday.
@torilovebyrd8418
Жыл бұрын
The dude whisperer said it and the woman after him attempted to justify it. He knows you’re unhappy just not unhappy enough to leave. Because a man will leave when his unhappiness is intolerable.
@Cerrah311
Жыл бұрын
This whisper hit me
@Sashique86
Жыл бұрын
My ex felt blindsided when I broke up with him when everyone in our lives knew something was wrong and I deserved to be treated better. I also find a lot of men are content with staying in bad situations. For example they hate their job but will never leave. They have no intention of marrying or committing to a woman but will waste her time staying with her as a "placeholder" because they don't want to be alone. They aren't even attracted to a woman but they will still have sex with her.
@annamayyy9771
Жыл бұрын
I will also never understand. Why drag someone you don't want along!? Nothing but the truth. You said it all
@toomuchinformation
Жыл бұрын
Men can HATE a woman, but they'll still bone her though.
@Anti-PC-OG-Feminist
Жыл бұрын
@@annamayyy9771 Misery lives company...also, because of the typical BS menz force us on because they feel it is their right to be lee ching and controlling us in any way they can.
@stuff1784
Жыл бұрын
This happened to me. I left and “blindsided” my ex even though I was crying everyday in the relationship and spoke repeatedly of the issues that needed fixing.
@tricieb.5921
Жыл бұрын
I noticed all of this too, men love to waste time
@foxxybrown291
Жыл бұрын
Society teaches us to settle. As long as your bills are paid and he’s not cheating you should thank your lucky stars. What I want was only in fairytales, well good job I didn’t listen and got the man I wanted and deserved 😊 xx
@kennyreal8
Жыл бұрын
I'm sticking to my "fairy tale" desires. Not settling. Just left a paying bills "non-cheater." I was deeply hopeless in that relationship. It felt like my first marriage. I've regained my energy since I left 💃🏽💅🏽
@foxxybrown291
Жыл бұрын
@@kennyreal8 Exactly! Just coz they can’t get their fairytale doesn’t mean you can’t. You’re worthy of it 💓💛💓
@rosannarichardson7951
Жыл бұрын
If he’s so incompetent at home and with family, then how is he able to keep a job and coworkers/bosses don’t absolutely hate him. How is he going to get a raise and not get fired. Can he really operate heavy machinery? If he can’t figure out a washing machine he shouldn’t be driving.
@jstu8
2 ай бұрын
These are convos I’ve had with my ex. He didn’t start out incompetent by any means but it did up turning into a “how do you even do your job” conversation.
@atlfun08
Жыл бұрын
Yep, the average guy is miserable long before he meets you. They are faking it till they make it when they need to just do the work on themsely. Instead they would rather find someone to take thier misery out on. Pass!! 😂😂😂
@no-thanks
Жыл бұрын
This one !!! Yes !!!!
@bak3456
Жыл бұрын
Once women learn to BOUNCE when their partner is acting stupid rather than staying hoping for the person to change, the relationships market will heal
@YahRiYah_Ahava777
Жыл бұрын
Wow that is exactly what I was doing in my relationship. Religion and thinking God would never forgive me if I left him. I got to a tolerable level of permanent unhappiness. And I sat there and was content in that space. Until one day I was not. I said F sin, F family, F him, F fear, F EVERYTHING!! I am out!! 🏃
@DestinyUteh
Жыл бұрын
Always put yourself first Sister
@YahRiYah_Ahava777
Жыл бұрын
@DestinyUteh I do now. Hard life lessons. Self abuse is real, you get used to sacrificing and putting yourself last. Kids, husband, house, work, first. Until there is nothing left. That way of life for me is done. Now I know that loving God is loving myself...not just everybody else.
@giovannanicolas8299
Жыл бұрын
❤❤❤❤
@ll2323
Жыл бұрын
Religion can be just as toxic as a man. No religion should punish u for putting urself love, safety, and serenity first.
@Chocobunnezz
Жыл бұрын
I actually asked God to remove him because I knew I didn't have the strength to leave. He left and has now been making someone else miserable for the last 5 years.
@nataliethompson971
Жыл бұрын
My unpopular opinion: - Dont exclusively date a man longer than 3 years without an engagement at the end of that 3rd year -Dont stay engaged longer than 1.5 years - Dont EVER have a child outside of marriage. Once you do, prepare for that uphill battle of unhappiness and so-so commitment. Your WOMB is your only sacred ace - Dont have children that you ( in the worst case scenario) cant take care of 100% - Be financially able to leave if the situation is bad. Dont make finances keep you in an unhealthy relationship - In the beginning of dating, state your expectations of your "ideal partner". If a dude runs, he wasnt the one for you Lastly dont date if you dont have the mental backbone to know when something isnt right for you
@JG-jn2nn
Жыл бұрын
I like your last point. I feel like i’m behind bc i’m 26 and never dated so I wouldn’t know where to start. But I also know that I would probably get swept up in some toxic shit right now bc of where I’m at mentally so I’m staying out the game.
@baddie1shoe
11 ай бұрын
This is very practical advice.
@Lena-cz6re
10 ай бұрын
👌
@ET.Montana
10 ай бұрын
This should be our bible/law.! Seriously F these dudes
@aurora8749
10 ай бұрын
That's exactly why I'm staying single. I don't leave even when I'm abused. I let things slide that I should never
@bMack270
Жыл бұрын
KS said, and I quote “You women are delusional. See y’all think marriage is about happiness. It’s not about your happiness, it’s about duty.” Once I saw how many men agreed, I knew then that marriage wasn’t for me. Of course they’ll blame feminism though.
@TeresatheTruthSeeker
5 ай бұрын
Then what’s the damn point on getting married if you won’t bring happiness to each other. That dusty is the one who is delusional and sounds like he doesn’t want to put the effort in making his wife happy. A healthy marriage will never be perfect all the time but both the Woman and the man should want to make each other happy and content as much as possible. Duty is when you go to War not the altar!!
@juliebella1221
Жыл бұрын
If you've been through domestic abuse, you may not know it because women are told it's marriage. When the police officer handed me a DA pamphlet, there was a checklist and I checked all except physical. Marriage for women is a literal domestic abuse pamphlet. Seriously, pull one up on line and compare it to your marriage. It's the same. Mind blowing and so very sad. Men are vampires. 😢
@divalizzous
Жыл бұрын
Why was a police officer involved since you said yourself there was no physical abuse??? The other forms of abuse aren’t illegal so what did you need a cop for?
@juliebella1221
Жыл бұрын
I don't know how the cop showed up. It's hazy as it was severely traumatizing. I used to call him Bambi; now he's the antichrist. The literal devil incarnate. Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Ted Bundy. He's a top salesman, very funny, charming, good looking, brilliant, and almost everybody to this day loves him and defends his abuse as "boys being boys." His groupies have threatened me to my face on my own doorstep. It's ridiculous, he gets them old and young. They all flock to him. He can't lie around me because I'm the only person, besides his child, who knows his schtick. For instance, if I said I'm gonna tell what you said or did, he'd say, "I'm more popular, they won't believe you." LOL!!!! He's so high school, but so is the world. LOL!! He knows, all you have to do is compliment someone and agree with whatever they say and you have a customer and a "friend." He remembers all names, first and last, their kids names, bdays etc. It's amazing. Their phone numbers, he just remembers and it makes people feel very special to be approached and remembered and complimented, even if it's all bs. No joke, I've watched him work, even when they know he's lying to them, they'd rather be lied to and have said as much. They like that's he's like the cruise director and everyone has a great time while doing his bidding. Game Night was at our house all the time and we'd be filled to the rafters. If he said come meet me, hundreds, if not thousands would show up. No matter where we went, we'd have oodles of "fans." No joke, I don't know how he had the energy. I had to tell you that, so you could understand the non violence abuse. Now because all his business was with hundreds of "friends" it was not in their best interest to displease him. So, they watched me for him after I told him to leave. His Dad stole the business from him and he was too scared of his Dad to fight him and it was a whole thing and it was basically me and his child or his Dad. He chose to cow to his Dad. So, like his brain broke. I don't know, he just flipped a switch. He was the best hubby and we were always together. He'd pick me up from work and take me around on his sales calls, he just liked being with me. Really treated me like gold. His Dad broke his brain or something, I don't know. He was shocked that I left him; women literally would stalk him and beg for him in driveways, parking lots, what evs. His ex called me and said if I don't want him anymore, she'll take him. He had left her, and has still never gone back to her. I had no idea at the time who she was. So, he's got a massive following. No joke. He's athletic and tall, so men worship him, gay men want him and women just fall at his feet. I didn't. I had my own success and we were just a match. We both knew how to deal with people and were a loving and fun couple. He didn't want to watch football with anyone but me. The guys would be like, your wife, why??? And he'd be like because she knows the game and actually watches it not just screams at the tv and makes bets. LOL!! And then his brain broke after his Dad went to war with him. He could've won against his Dad easily in court, but he wanted to be loved by a man that doesn't love. So, the neighbors and him had this whole watch me operation that I had no idea about. If I went out on a walk, they reported on me. If his friends or clients saw me driving, they told him. He'd text me and tell me where I was, what I was doing, who I was talking to; it was creepy. I felt like it was a witch hunt. They all were like how can you be mean to him, he's a dream....so I was becoming more and more isolated, it was his hometown, I was on the other side of the country from where I was from, so no family with me, just him and our baby and his family. They were devout Christians and "offered" to "take" my baby from me, told me if I didn't marry him, I'd have a b word and since I had cancer before and wasn't supposed to be able to have babies and was high risk, had to get an ultra sound once a week until delivery to make sure there was still a heartbeat and they told me my baby would die if I didn't marry him because God didn't approve of not being married. I never thought marriage was good, or necessary, however, there were dozens of them and I was pregnant and so I signed paperwork, no wedding, I don't like weddings and all that bs. We had already bought a house together, running companies together, so I thought, it's forever anyways. Big mistake. Just me in my pjs in the living room signing a form that his family member was a JP and I was six months pregnant on bed rest with "fetal demise" on my chart. I felt that I had to do anything to save my baby. Sounds coo coo, I know, but it was seriously scary. If you haven't worried about your baby dying inside of your body, there are just no words. You're susceptible to guilt on an epic level. IF you don't do this, the baby will die type stuff. Really traumatizing. Stuff like that. Really scary when they bring God into it and it's a hoard of people telling you what Jesus wants, what Mohammed wants, etc. (if you don't know Mohammed is an offshoot of Catholicism), so lots of Christians and Muslims hang out as they both believe in Jesus. I was not religious, just pregnant after being told by all doctors after cancer no babies ever. I was in full career mode and totally shifted gears to nesting. So I became wife of the year, learned to cook, bake, house immaculate already, but still, made sure it was super duper, we were gonna be a family now. LOL!! I just didn't want to get married. When his Dad did what he did, I fixed it and got him an even a better deal. That wasn't good enough, he wanted his Dad to say, "I'm sorry son." Never gonna happen. His Dad was drinking it up in Mexico on month long vacas. So, hubby was on self-destruct mode, drinking, angry, and for the sake of our baby, I told him to leave. Then one day, I used to take my baby out in those chair thingees with wheels and a seat that spins and toys attached. Most take their babies out in strollers, not me. I tied a jump rope to it to pull my baby because my baby like to spin under the trees and see the light through the leaves. I don't remember much, however, my neighbor, I found out after the fact, when he came to apologize because he finally realized what hubby was doing after the po po showed up. I don't know who called the po po. Was it me, was it them? All I remember was he took the spinny chair thing that was in the front of the walkway to the house and chucked it at me or near me, I don't remember, it's heavy plastic and he's strong. It was broken. He didn't like physically touch me himself or something. Totally have no memory of the walk way. I was holding my baby. Then he threatened suicide. All I remember is the cop giving me the pamphlet and right after po po left, ding dong and my neighbor was real upset, he kept saying sorry to me. He called my hubby and told him something that wasn't true or something, I don't remember, he was sweating and babbling sorries, what evs, no idea, but he was real shook up with guilt. He believed my ex's Bambi act, never seen Ted Bundy live and in person. All I cared about was protecting my baby. I know she wasn't hurt, so all I remember was saying it's not DV and the po po being like sweetie, look.....sorry for the long story, but it's like locked away and it was hundreds of people he used to bully me, follow and hunt me. $ and status is all most care about and they were all too happy to be complimented by him for torturing me mentally (they literally would leave notes on my door with no name, just weird messages about not disappointing my hubby). Does driving really fast thinking about driving us off the road count. When I left the state he was in, he insisted on driving us to the airport. "I could just drive off this cliff and end us all." See, it's not counted in court, so you learn to only count bruises, and if there are no bruises, there's nothing you can do legally and the other stuff doesn't matter to po po or the courts. Men know this, they designed the court system this way on purpose. I just got lucky getting a kind cop who said READ this. :) He knew I had a brain, just had to get over the love thing. :) My hubby didn't want to let me go, took four years to finally divorce him with full custody. The weirdest part, is if I said to him come back to me he would in a heartbeat. I don't understand men like this at all. @@divalizzous
@juliebella1221
Жыл бұрын
Oh, PS, I just remembered what the neighbor did. I thought him and his wife were my friends and my hubby was living with one of his business friends on the other side of town; while he was drinking and trying to make me be religious and all sorts of nonsense. IF they can't control you, they send their family after you. So my neighbor and I were talking and I said my hubby was only getting worse towards me and I was going to file for divorce, so not to worry about me. I told him specifically not to tell my hubby and he was like of course not. LOL!! Little did I know, the neighbor was part of this network my hubby had watching me 24/7. He immediately called my hubby and told him I was going to file for divorce and that set my hubby off. He jumped in his truck and pulled up in the driveway, that's the last that I remember. My neighbor didn't realize my hubby could be Ted Bundy, so when he heard and saw it for himself live and in technicolor, it totally freaked him out, so he had to come clean, he felt so guilty, and he admitted it was him who told my hubby I was going to file for divorce. That's what hubby was shouting, "you're going to divorce me???!!!" Or something like that. They get the most violent and unhinged when you just don't give a bleep anymore and none of their tactics work anymore and you decide to leave them. They try to control you by taking all the money, but I grew up poor on the South Side, so status, money, etc. never meant a thing to me. It's what he loved about me; if you can call it that, can men love??? He called me Spongebob, I didn't watch tv or anything before I met him, so I had no idea it was a compliment. He said I was true blue. Honest and sweet while everyone else is a snake in the grass, bought and sold easily for a smile and some nice words. I was naive and believed in goodness. LOL!! That was my downfall. Being sweet, good, loving and helpful. All huge mistakes. 🙃@@divalizzous
@BlueTam
7 ай бұрын
@@divalizzouscohesive control will soon be illegal in Australia. www.nsw.gov.au/family-and-relationships/coercive-control/the-law
@maureenp2248
Ай бұрын
@divalizzous sexual abuse and threats of violence (incl. threatening self harm) are both illegal
@ITSCRYSTALRENEE
Жыл бұрын
Married 20 years and I knew deep down my ex was a complete POS lying, cheating not doing what a husband, a man was supposed to do. I always asked his ass was he happy in the marriage? His ass never not once asked me was I happy? He would complain about something and then I would go harder to please my man. I divorced his ass 5 years ago because he wasn't man enough to file it. He even made a comment to deal with it. I will NEVER get involved in relationship again. I enjoy my peace. I do what I want, when I want and that's it.
@idrawattention900
Жыл бұрын
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉I LOVE THAT FOR YOU🎉🎉❤
@chariannagee9522
10 ай бұрын
When Sis said something to the effect of "men don't feel loved unless they see that we are choosing to be with them over our own happiness ", I gasped. Because the way the math started mathing! The way we(society) raise our boys to view and experience partnership and marriage as suffering in cage?! They literally don't know no better and most DON'T want to learn. We gotta break the chains for real. Gworl!!!
@misspriss2482
9 ай бұрын
Yep. They want to be on the altar of your life. Your life is supposed to center around them. I remember a guy I was dating talking about the Divergent movie and how Tris was a model for women. The fact that she was willing to die for him and literally let him kill her proved how much she loved him. On the other hand, he hated Katniss because she was selfish and only thought about herself. When I brought up her love and care for her sister, he dismissed that. His problem was that she didn't instantly return Gale's affection. She *gasp* prioritized herself over his feelings when she turned him down. I later realized then that he blew hot and cold with me. When I was really happy and it had nothing to do with him, he got annoyed. So he would withdraw, be cold, and act pissy. Once I became visibly upset and looked sad, he would start being affectionate towards me and make me smile. He wanted to be the source for my happiness. I dumped him.
@toscadonna
Жыл бұрын
We should probably stop saying it’s a tolerable level of unhappiness with a cis-het man, because I was unknowingly in a relationship with a homosexual male, and he was the worst of all. Even homosexual men will use a woman for the benefits, because they won’t get the same benefits from another male.
@LoveAndSnapple
Жыл бұрын
I’ve noticed that people will laugh at heterosexual couples because of all the grief they go through, but don’t realize that, for the most part, they’re FORCED to be egalitarian. Just like you said, they can’t pull the same foolishness with another man. I’m only guessing that same sex couples don’t expect perfection, but they expect a same sex level of understanding that, “hey, we know how WE are, so we don’t have to bullshit each other.”
@whosthatgirlitstiff1861
Жыл бұрын
Sis, you literally just blew my mind with this one😯😯😯
@lulul0l039
Жыл бұрын
Heavily closeted men often want 'respectable public image' and lean deep into misogyny as both alibi and justify the utter disrespect of using another person like that. Good partners tend to be more in peace with themselves.
@shaffy856
Жыл бұрын
As a biological woman in a heterosexual relationship, I wish people would stop trying to speak for us. People want codependency disguised as loyalty and get upset when everyone else isn't with that. Marriage doesn't have to be a prison, but thinking your partner is the savior to all life's issues will have you feeling that way.
@Votethepower
Жыл бұрын
@@whosthatgirlitstiff1861 For Real! Sheesh!!
@knHebrew
11 ай бұрын
They were taught this and taught that sleeping around and being unfaithful is ok. They are messed up
@monimuppet6132
Жыл бұрын
I've started answering in the negative when men ask me if I'm a "good woman". I used to feel defensive and want to break down what a good woman is but, I've gotten over it. I realized men that think in those terms are the types described in this vid, the types I've dated before, the type I married AND divorced many years ago. "You always dress so modestly. I bet you're a good woman." I'm not. It may be petty but I love seeing their faces after saying that. I've been single for a long time and have learned what a sustained level of happiness looks and feels like. Happiness isn't absent of rough patches or hard times, but it is also never complacent or mindless or inconsiderate. The happiness is what aids us in pulling through those hard times and becoming better, becoming stronger. A tolerable level of permeant unhappiness? My as well be called the walking dead. I'll never accept it in my life again.
@divalizzous
Жыл бұрын
A man’s definition of a “good woman” is a woman who sacrifices herself to benefit them. If we don’t fit that then we are “modern women” aka bad women. I will die on the hill of bad women b/c being miserable just for the sake of a “relationship” makes no sense.
@florindagonzalez5700
Жыл бұрын
"Happiness isn't absent of tough patches or hard times, but it is also never complacent, or mindless, or inconsiderate." That!!!
@Jamie-813
Жыл бұрын
I'm realizing that perhaps part of why I've been single for 10 years now is because I won't tolerate people who make me unhappy. I don't work jobs that make me unhappy, I don't walk my dog if it means the rest of the day sucks. Perhaps I'm selfish, but I want to enjoy my life and if that means living single then that's what it means.
@TheCemeteryWalker
Жыл бұрын
Men are so clueless. A woman never just picks up and goes. I tried for six years before I gave up and I was married a total of twenty. They just get comfortable and say we’re “nagging.” Okay, then I’ll leave. Give me my divorce, sir.
@khem127
Жыл бұрын
Yup, and then they say "we get overrelationships quicker", when they don't notice you've been pushed out by them for 6 years, and finally left.
@dannyboo40
Жыл бұрын
Most times i dont think they see it as a "rough patch" but instead it's an expectation. This is where the argument of "where are the women that used to do this & that". 🙄 They are asking for the women who are willing to do what they have to do simply to keep a man & keep their man happy regardless of how it makes us feel
@starlingswallow
11 ай бұрын
When we are taught by our parents and society that "Marriage is hard", this is what to expect. My second marriage is amazing and EASY!!!! Marriage doesn't have to be hard. *Abusive Marriages* are hard. 😢
@pastelmoon9118
11 ай бұрын
because if they tell you the truth when you are still young: why someone would through that shit? no one wouldnt buy it but hey ! society need those tax payers, new soldiers so they dont care about your unhappiness or being happy
@dannyboo40
Жыл бұрын
The girl with the cap hit the nail on the head! My partner has wanted me to put him before my friends, & my career. It makes no sense to me cause i worked hard for my degree & license but to him i think it makes him feel loved. They want to feel more important than anything & anyone in our lives! To me a person who loves me would not ask those things of me knowing what it cost me & would allow a healthy balance of each
@stuff1784
Жыл бұрын
Yep!!! I’ve been in your situation.
@divalizzous
Жыл бұрын
Why are you still with him?
@TeresatheTruthSeeker
5 ай бұрын
That’s pure manipulation!
@txspacemom765
Жыл бұрын
I laid it all out...asked him what he needed and if he was happy..laid it out in a f'ing power point, with notes...silence is an answer. I'm looking for apartments this week.
@Jat398
Жыл бұрын
I love that “divorce is always on the table”. It’s honest and it’s the reality in many relationships.
@vg1024
Жыл бұрын
wish more men understood this
@blackmoonbellydance7481
Жыл бұрын
Such a relevant conversation. Many of my married-single-mother girlfriends are permanently unhappy, and said they'd divorce if it wasn't for kids. Only when women file for divorce and he loses his maid does he finally want to talk about it. After a decade rolling his eyes and calling her a nag. Never settle (PS Destiny I love your hairstyle! super cute)
@OneTwo-yw4ij
Жыл бұрын
That's why avoiding the baby trapping scam is so important!
@anarcho-communist11
Жыл бұрын
Looking back I realize two abusive men tried to get me pregnant. One's condom sort of came off a few times and he made comments every now and then that he wanted me to have his baby. My ex-husband tried certain things too. Luckily I'm not very fertile it seems and have stayed childfree.
@silververnallbells191
6 ай бұрын
@@anarcho-communist11 "One's condom sort of came off a few times" - Sounds like stealthing. Glad to hear you're not with him anymore!
@femdivinemind7777
Жыл бұрын
That man making excuses like men aren’t grown adults and we have to train them like children …actually pisses me off
@lillierose5304
10 ай бұрын
I'm loving the 30s. You really don't care anymore and men think you care but you don't 😂 I am so free and content. I am celibate too because I want to preserve my health - i dont want STIs or HPV. I'm done with tip toeing around other people's needs. It feels great to be doing what serves me.
@showthyselfapproved1st
2 ай бұрын
YES🙌🏽
@giovannanicolas8299
Жыл бұрын
I hate that people would shame you to stay or stay go back with him for the kids. No way I believe in self care and that means I got to go.
@NinjaCakkey
Жыл бұрын
“Tolerable level of permanent unhappiness” sounds a hell of a lot like Depression™️.
@mjohnson1741
Ай бұрын
It's sadness, depression and misery 2.0😢
@kozief.7215
Жыл бұрын
This all sounds like narcissism and codependency. As long as she’s putting in the work, he can sit back and reap the benefits. All I can say to women is leave narcissistic/toxic men high and dry, but do it safely. Look for support systems and work on healing from your trauma because this type of abuse is indeed traumatic.
@Princess_Pixie
Жыл бұрын
The classic my mom suffered that way, you’re supposed to suffer that way too
@Anti-PC-OG-Feminist
Жыл бұрын
Ugh yeah, I absolutely hate that crap.
@LadyLila20
Жыл бұрын
Yes. I was told just a few months ago that I shouldn't even expect an engagement ring because his mother settled for a common law marriage. After 8 years and a kid... what your mom did doesn't have anything to do with me. But after seeing how he really thought I didn't try to convince him, I left him with his mother.
@fashionablylate888
2 ай бұрын
Omg yes. Theres a book written by a man who witnessed DV and he himself said, “a boy who witnesses his father abusing his mother is still likely to repeat his father’s offences against women.”
@theunknownbachatero8899
Жыл бұрын
I'm 44 & have decided to remain single. Over the years, I've sat back & watch MOST of my ppls in marriages/LTRs (males & females) go thru the hell. Yet, they often hit me with the "But don't u want this or that or the other" whenever I tell them that I don't wanna get married or a relationship.
@marleyhill34
Жыл бұрын
I'm 42. All I see in relationships is misery. Men are lost. Gen X men and Boomer men treat women like crap. Millennial men feel like their masculinity is under threat. Only about 10% of these men have any emotional intelligence and the ones that do, stay married/in their long-term relationships. 90% do not know how to be husbands, financial providers, faithful/loyal, carers or good fathers. This is in my own family. I'm neurodivergent and I'm better off on my own than with people who have no idea how to work with this type of thinking. Then half of the men have low self-esteem, high insecurity and out-of-control egos. I can't deal with any of that especially when I've spent decades working on my own trauma, adverse experiences and sensory and autistic traits.
@tonyahenry8166
Жыл бұрын
I’m 37 no kids , no toxic baby daddy & im happy . I can sleep until 12:30 pm , I can do whatever the f*uck I want everyday .. I’m happy 😎😋💖
@tiffaniw8270
26 күн бұрын
🎉🎉🎉🎉
@GeorgeGlass298
Жыл бұрын
Damn this is relatable. Basically every woman I know is living in a tolerable level of permanent and happiness if they're in a relationship with a dude. My husband used to tell me "you're the only one that csn make you happy. Your happiness is up to you " when I was absolutely miserable in our marriage. Turns out it was him that was making me miserable. He was gaslighting me into making me think it was a choice of mine to stay unhappy. When in reality it was his choice to continue to use weaponized incompetence and do everything he could to steal my free labor and take advantage of me. He was the one making an active choice to make me unhappy not me.
@KrispyKrunchee
Жыл бұрын
A “tolerable level of permanent unhappiness” is the enemy I’ve opposed all my Life and now that it has a name, I see it everywhere. I will NEVER surrender!!!
@42ayla
Жыл бұрын
17:30 He's talking about active vs inactive participation here. I read an article by a marriage counsellor where she pointed out the number one complaint women in her practise had was the fact the man had to be told to do things rather than just doing them. If she walks in the kitchen and notices the garbage is overflowing she'll either take it out or ask someone to. The man will be more likely to cram in more and wait to be told to take it out. One step away from weaponized incompetence.
@toyin2376
Жыл бұрын
Men believe what you can't change ,...You endure
@hellohey000
Жыл бұрын
But they could change but won't.
@Anti-PC-OG-Feminist
Жыл бұрын
Yeah well they force that mentality/lifestyle on US, but they sure as hell don't like it when it's done to them.
@idrawattention900
Жыл бұрын
No matter what a woman looks like, a toxic male will mistreat, use, abuse & cheat on her. Cardi, Beyonce, Rihanna, Shakia ect gorgeous women get cheated on all the time.
@miashere0529
Жыл бұрын
My brother, 50, literally has said that he doesn’t know love/relationships that don’t hurt. I’ve gracefully bowed out ✌🏾
@身赤-w3w
Жыл бұрын
We need to talk more about how having brothers is so traumatic for women. I've seen over and over comments, videos and heard frkm women irl about how they were treated so different compared to their brothers, how they were forced to cater to them, mother them, or worse, how they were m lested by them. Also, this is probably not common in the west anymore but I know too many families irl who have a ridiculous number of children just because they want to make a male... that male usually turns out to be a loser even though all the resources went into his useless ass.
@Seatonni
11 ай бұрын
So true, I think generationally it’s taught & previous generations will favor sons over daughters.
@tiffanyfinley4834
Ай бұрын
Plus my brother abused me mentally emotionally and physically, no one stopped him
@madz2013
8 ай бұрын
I always feel incredibly lucky to have the relationship I do when I watch videos like this. He has taught me SO much about the world and I have have taught him a lot too. Our lives are BOTH better for being together. I couldn't imagine accepting unhappiness like this. Now I'm not saying it's daisies and rainbows everyday. All relationships take work but I've never felt as though my life was worse for being with him.
@TheEasyBreezie
11 ай бұрын
After I broke up with my boyfriend for basically cheating on me, he went on the internet and said, “He was shocked and everything happened so fast.”
@natashatate3070
Жыл бұрын
The girl with the dreads said it for me. In my past relationship, I found myself in a position which any woman could fill regardless, so I left so another woman could. Been happy and single, meanwhile he tried to get me back. Never!😂
@pysq8
Жыл бұрын
Yes, if you don't need me in particular... you don't get me, in particular. 😊
@bm5_5_5
2 ай бұрын
@@pysq8 Love this
@mrthomas2847
Жыл бұрын
if males had the same tolerable level as these women there be a lot more single guys walking happy
@phaedra5283
Жыл бұрын
Yes there should be more single guys.They should go be happy.
@chayo4537
Жыл бұрын
Fuck Having a tolerance for weirdo nonsensical sh*t. THeres nothing cute or admirable about that crap
@idrawattention900
Жыл бұрын
Most single males are unhappy, stinky, depressed, users, liar's & looking 4 women 2 leach onto & absorb their happiness from.
@Flowquette
6 ай бұрын
I dated a guy who got me absolutely nothing for v-day, Christmas and my birthday and I didn’t break up with him. His mom got me a gift for no reason on a non holiday I realized she and was subconsciously telling me to run through this gift. I dated a guy who was completely unsupportive to my goals and had nothing to offer me and his friends knew I deserved better so his friend was extremely supportive of me and gave me advice and helped me get a follower and he did that right in front of my stone-faced cross armed boyfriend and I realized he was trying to make me realize…
@Bearsef
11 ай бұрын
I left my husband almost two years ago and I could never quite verbalize why. He told me that I left abruptly and never gave us a chance. He cheated on me several times early in our relationship and shortly after we were married and I stayed for 12 years. Despite that I still carried a lot of guilt for the divorce, because of his words - that I didn’t give him a chance. These videos and the words of these women are very…. Healing. It’s helping me put together why he could feel that way and helping to ease the guilt that I carry.
@Dani_33
11 ай бұрын
Please don't feel guilty for doing what you needed to do for yourself. He was never going to do better even if you haven't divorced him. As cliche as this may be, if he truly valued you and your relationship, he would have shown it from the very beginning and acted right. I hope you take more time to heal. Remember that your decisions for yourself will always lead you to different paths so it's your responsibility to decide what's good and bad for you. Take care!
@OO9O9
9 ай бұрын
Never let a male gaslight you
@silververnallbells191
6 ай бұрын
You gave him 12yrs of chances.
@suzsiz
Жыл бұрын
The solution to this is to not make men responsible for our own happiness. ALOT of women stay for way too long, because they expect men to be their happienss. If we own up to our own unhappiness, and learn to cultivate that happiness ourselves, we can be FREE :D and leave unhappy marriages.
@DestinyUteh
Жыл бұрын
Facts
@ctibaga
8 ай бұрын
Many women struggle with body image issues. If you don't value your body, you will allow someone to disrespect your space.
@mpauli12
Жыл бұрын
Women are expected to tolerate so much. My ex used to mess over me and then give me this bullshit Pep talk saying, “everything will be okay we will get through this”. Well yeah kinda easy for you to say after you’re the one who made the mess and I’m left to pick up the pieces. They don’t care how miserable we are. As long as they are happy they will never leave and when they’re unhappy they will cheat until we leave. And even after we finally leave they will bash us for leaving and tell us the relationship was not that bad.
@layla_and_micahfollowonins2174
Жыл бұрын
My ex didn’t ALWAYS just shut down and leave when he was upset with in the relationship. Often he would throw plates of food across the floor and make me clean it up and sometimes he’d even beat on me. He was over all respectful to me before I got pregnant with our son. Looking back there were red flags. So true. If we refuse to put up with this unhappiness and end up leaving, we’re looked upon as selfish & heartless bad women.
@idrawattention900
Жыл бұрын
Name some red flags for the young ones pls bc they tend 2 get pulled under that dv tide the easiest.
@divalizzous
Жыл бұрын
Red flags are obvious. The reality is most women who end up victims of abuse tend to convince themselves that they didn’t see them from the beginning when in actuality they did, but they stayed b/c they had already created the fantasy of the man in their head and refused to walk away from it.
@TheDonnaCrosby
11 ай бұрын
Many times my mother would buy things for her one son because "he was the boy " and nothing for her three girls. It's something I still resent....
@nairobi-farmfairy7612
11 ай бұрын
Same here with chores.Hug for you, it hurts
@pinky-lett3501
Жыл бұрын
The man who would rather see you be in pain then be happy is a toxic, broken man that is NOT Love!
@theunknownbachatero8899
Жыл бұрын
I think the best way to avoid this "tolerable level of permanent unhappiness" is to remain single. That kind of "unhappiness" is inevitable in any LTR or marriage.
@sophiam9886
Жыл бұрын
I think a happy long-term relationship is possible as long as you don't live with the m¤n or marry him. Cohabitation is the trap of sl¤very as well as that legal tie of obligation that we call marriage. I think that if wom&n can let go of the idea that marriage is for us as opposed to it being for m&n, which it really is, then we'll be happier and more comfortable foregoing that type of union.
@stuff1784
Жыл бұрын
I think the solution is to always have your own apartment.
@idrawattention900
Жыл бұрын
What does ltr stand for?😅
@maam-yj8ph
Жыл бұрын
@@idrawattention900long term relationship
@magnarcreed3801
Жыл бұрын
I got lucky. Just dated another woman. Best shit ever. Only complaint is we don’t have more free time for each other.
@belfanm5081
Жыл бұрын
Married 3x and divorced! I do wish I seen this video back in the day cause this confirms everything! And honestly, you can communicate with them about the situation all day long and they can’t comprehend it until you leave 😢 make it make sense! But, don’t stress your soul by staying cause it’s not worth it! Trust me, this is facts!
@stuff1784
Жыл бұрын
Damn, didn’t you get tired of doing all that marriage and divorce paperwork?
@marleyhill34
Жыл бұрын
You are brave. I did one and done and I haven't been in a relationship in nearly 10 years. Men don't make me happy by a long shot.
@belfanm5081
Жыл бұрын
@@stuff1784 I keep giving love a shot, until I realized love don’t keep a roof over our heads!!! Never again!
@anastasiab-x2t
Жыл бұрын
@@belfanm5081damn im also a romantic and always want to keeo my hopes up, but right now im just thinking about staying celibate for a year. the stress amd effort is just too much...
@belfanm5081
Жыл бұрын
@@anastasiab-x2t wish you the best in that journey
@singingnimo2024
Жыл бұрын
Why do you think women get cancers and stroke it because all the bottle up emotions that we don't express so we keep quite and end up with these diseases. Also when you accept unhappiness in your marriage it just shows how unworthy you feel about yourself.
@apollofateh324
11 ай бұрын
I actually did see something about how women end up with more cases of autoimmune diseases for precisely that reason: they are socially conditioned to put up with the burden and stress of creating social cohesion, at their own expense, and the stress level fucks up the immune system. It's more common in women, but it also applies to anyone who's a "people pleaser".
@jenniferjohnston8376
10 ай бұрын
I would add to this whole discussion the amount of women who become functioning addicts, especially with alcohol because of this. I've seen this happen to so many women
@annaburns2865
9 ай бұрын
I feel so bad for the woman at 14:00. If a guy truly liked you, he’s want you to be happy. If he is enjoying your suffering, or feels more love towards it, then he’s a narcissist. I’m sorry boo.
@BWTM
7 ай бұрын
“She would rather be with me than be happy” Better to be single than put up with their BS
@sparkymularkey6970
Жыл бұрын
Can't believe how much I needed to see this. I just broke up with my boyfriend, and while he wasn't outwardly abusive, he wasn't treating me well at all. It really did leave me in a state of permanent unhappiness! Now I'm single and, honestly, I might remain single forever.
@kyaos_Meteor
Жыл бұрын
As the saying goes "Misery loves company" i wouldnt be surprised in the LEAST that the ex BF was just a tiny bit miserable deep down but refuse to acknowledge it and thought he can simply "Get over it" without tapping into anything and drag somebody else down with him and 5:44 she has a point men dont care because all their lives they were taught that feelings and emotion (which is mostly negative) is weakness when its not its called being human so if they dont care about themselves they're not gonna care about feelings of the opposite sex.
@kyaos_Meteor
Жыл бұрын
13:42 I agree with her to because how many times have you heard or a friend of yours or family, somebody close to you heard "If he bullies you that means he likes you" like it seems straight from the get go that these men are taught that if a woman is sad, miserable and just generally unhappy that somehow equates to reciprocating that love they have for their girls (which is scarily unhinged) and if their the cause of it then its even better for them.
@silververnallbells191
6 ай бұрын
@@kyaos_Meteor I've personally been told if he bullies you he likes you, but I didn't really accept that in my teens and I'll be damned if I accept it now.
@patriciamatthews9390
Жыл бұрын
Never been married and I have no regrets either I'm happy and free as a bird I go out as I please and come back home whenever I please
@jadeshay1
11 ай бұрын
I am constantly reminded by videos like this how lucky I am to have my partner. He’s an actual man, not one of these little boys out here trying to date women when they hate women. Get out women, let those “boys be boys”.
@rebeccaf2649
8 ай бұрын
I let so much slide in my last relationship. Things that hurt me and made me incredibly unhappy. I gave so much energy and effort and I never had the same consideration given back to me. One of our last dates he was 2 hours late, took me to a museum he'd already taken me to before, one hour before close closing, and wondered why I wasn't in the best spirits. To me it was incredibly disrespectful to be stood up for two hours after I'd driven an hour to his city. But then I was seen as ungrateful. I was in a constant state of pain and anxiety for a lot of that relationship but I continued to try and try.
@rosannarichardson7951
Жыл бұрын
We need to treat these men like they do. Any time they get upset they leave and have no problem dropping you for the littlest thing while they drag you through mud. Say it once, they are an adult and they know, and then leave if they show their a$$ again. Men love through respect. If he doesn’t respect you and consider you, and doesn’t mind seeing you in pain and overworked, he’s got to go.
@chisomotule
Жыл бұрын
This is so scary to me cause this is one of the many ways how partner violence starts and especially against women who finally find the strength to leave or start to see these signs😢. Please take care of yourselves out there ❤
@zee-zm1io
Жыл бұрын
13:31 it’s because their mothers were martyrs
@divanessrenee5060
Жыл бұрын
Lady in the blue is spot on!!! This is why men don’t initiate divorces or breakups. Great topic
@witchykittyy
Жыл бұрын
I’m so tired of giving him ultimatums. I’ve started to check out and he doesn’t even notice, or if he notices he doesn’t care. I messed up real bad moving in with him without being married and spending almost all of my savings on him. I feel so stupid. Even if I break up with him I have nowhere to go and no job because I’m disabled and we wanted to be ~traditional~ I hate my life so much right now and I have no idea what to do.
@user-np6tf8zx1u
Жыл бұрын
Praying for you. Pls get out
@marleyhill34
Жыл бұрын
if a man says anything about traditional....run....traditionally men treated women like trash..that's what they really mean. 50's housewives had to take barbituates ( sedative-hypnotics) to survive. women in the 1940's couldn't have her own bank account. Women in the 1930s were not allowed to join the military. In the 1920s women had to fight to vote and wear trousers. Start to speak to domestic abuse services. Financial abuse and psychological abuse is still abuse although most people do not recognize it.
@silververnallbells191
6 ай бұрын
Do you have a disability check? Try renting a room in a house it's cheaper. Or can you go back to any family?
@latjacmitdye8830
8 ай бұрын
They don't just not care, they literally want women unhappy. It feeds their ego to know that a woman will sacrifice her own happiness to be with them. In their minds, it only proves their misguided notions of being superior.
@howto8086
11 ай бұрын
The longer I live the more sure I am that most men lack courage. Because it takes a lot of courage to fight for your happiness & end a long term relationship. Even more so to look at yourself & call yourself on your own bullshit. Men just prefer to be stuck & refuse to see any problem.
@RightToFreedomGirl
Жыл бұрын
LADIES: CAREGIVING = giving care CARE *TAKING = receiving care
@oncetwice5942
Жыл бұрын
The reason why I am single is because I’m just tired of being in a position where I end up being a placeholder till someone else “better” than me comes along. It’s also hard for me to tell if someone is truly into me or not because I can no longer give my all to someone just to get little to nothing in return and eventually left without reason. I literally asked my ex what was the real reason for the breakup. Get this, I was told that I wasn’t wanted in a romantic way at first, but then things started happening and this person ended up liking me, then tells me I was too affectionate like wtf?! It makes me feel like I can’t be affectionate with anyone or maybe I kept running into those who had a lack of affection growing up idk.
@idrawattention900
Жыл бұрын
Like oh "someone I could have sex w a lot might as well & play that role until she notices I'm playing pretend",🤷🏻♀️ I have a daughter & I will talk to her abt these things. I want what's best 4 her.
@oncetwice5942
10 ай бұрын
@@idrawattention900 There is an update. I’m no longer single and things are going great right now. I decided to branch out and that’s how I met my significant other.
@idrawattention900
Жыл бұрын
Dv survivor here. NEVER tell a man that u plan on leaving him or when you're leaving him. Just go. Take the important things like paperwork that can't b replaced & ur kid's & just GO. Once ur already gone & somewhere safe,so u don't get introuble w the law, let him know the kids r w u & get the courts involved if you can to shield urself & ur kids from his harm & him trying 2 take full custody. If he's abusive, figure out what steps you need 2 take on ur own so that you're a suitable stable permanent parent. Can't escape without a plan.
@khrisi9410
7 ай бұрын
This and DO NOT GO BACK for those work it out or discuss it talks. Too many women did not walk away from those talks. Run, disappear if you can and don't look back.
@nicorriesanders
10 ай бұрын
This video definitely makes you think of every time you voiced your unhappiness and nothing changed. The accountability that you have to take and look at yourself will definitely make you look at yourself differently. Well speaking for my case only.
@biblethumper8088
Жыл бұрын
All this analyzing and trying to decipher men is really unnecessary. Do to them what they do to you and watch how quickly they bounce. They know exactly what they are doing wrong bc they wouldn't allow it to be done to them. They don't allow you to cheat, ignore them, not cook, clean, not respect them, not raise their children, not put them first. We all know what they won't tolerate. The problem is that women allow the abuse. Ladies set your boundaries and stick by them. No one is worth tolerating unhappiness. Especially from a man.
@Childfree334
Жыл бұрын
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Absolutely. Women keep saying how they are socialized, but marriage and kids are not a requirement.
@bak3456
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely agree. We’re adults and should take the responsibility for our choices. If you’re unhappy LEAVE!!!
@divalizzous
Жыл бұрын
Women don’t want to hear this reality check. Taking accountability for tolerating foolery??? That’s blasphemy! We are full grown adults until someone calls us out for refusal to accept the consequences of our bad decisions, then suddenly it’s “society, the church, patriarchy, older women, the kids, and men.” Women know full well the consequences of touching a hot stove yet play victim when they touch it and it doesn’t work out in their favor. No sympathy from me.
@biblethumper8088
Жыл бұрын
It seems some of y'all have misunderstood my comment so let me clarify. I'm not bashing women or telling them to take accountability or responsibility for the actions of men. I'm teaching them not to deal with these behaviors. All of us have made these mistakes bc we were taught to forgive or that we can change a male. But no man should be treating any woman poorly. The men are wrong. It's not in our nature to be cold-hearted, uncaring or ruthless, but these men are so we have to set boundaries and stay away from them since they mean us harm. Women just need to enforce the consequences to these males by leaving them alone.
@ctibaga
8 ай бұрын
@@divalizzous I agree.
@jltdqw
Жыл бұрын
Like the girl who was talking about Everybody Love Raymond, I rewatch the show and I was thinking all of the men are trash and it men in real live like that. Just because the work they don’t care about anything else in the marriage, family or the house. They do the minimum and wait for a parade.
@DaughterofDiogenes
Жыл бұрын
Lmao. I almost started crying when that dude said he cleaned the kitchen when he knew his partner was stressed. I’m standing here in a trashed kitchen trying not to weep.
@ElleJae-b9q
6 ай бұрын
It’s definitely challenging to find a man with peace in his heart and mind.
@HaliaBarbosa
Жыл бұрын
Why are women so confident until they get with these men… men are the common denominator.. they find a good women who is confident and want to break her down… so that she doesn’t leave. They need therapy badly
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