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In March of 1997, I had to have major surgery on my right knee. Days after the procedure, was still on crutches, I was talking to my pseudo-ex-girlfriend, on the phone, when the narcotics wore off and my bowels started to unknot. I told her I had to go, slammed the phone down, was trembling while paying for the call, the phone center bathroom was closed, crutched back to my barracks as fast as I fucking could, got to my door, fumbled with my keys, unlocked and opened the door... And it didn't matter. Shit myself. Like, post-surgical-hospital-food-backed-up-on-pain-killers shit myself. It was the consistency of good pea soup and it stunk. I hobbled to the bathroom and disrobed in the shower and tried to clean myself, with my right leg in a trash bag. I had to triple-bag the undies and I tossed them in another barracks' trashcan. Just another way the military destroyed my dignity. LMFAO!
@masonreppeto882
2 жыл бұрын
lol
@Tac-Tac
2 жыл бұрын
Lmao
@Momo_Kawashima
2 жыл бұрын
The guys in the other barracks wondering who got turned into such a heinous killer their victim was reduced to a meere stinky cream:
@reetasingh6297
2 жыл бұрын
This is killing me🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@Weeboslav
2 жыл бұрын
24:00 this was so good,ready for second round?
@radio9632
2 жыл бұрын
8:02 The last time I was in a hospital it was for an eye check up, so my name would be lil eye... I'm Chinese.
@anthonywilkinson5563
2 жыл бұрын
lil ear surgery
@rexcatston8412
2 жыл бұрын
Lil lightbulb removal
@karaoke_king.15
2 жыл бұрын
lil extreme hip pains
@ashleycd6487
2 жыл бұрын
Either Lil birth Or lil diagnosis
@raquelmyers9159
2 жыл бұрын
lil fainting fit
@lyceon_.0
2 жыл бұрын
#dankness Me: Eats noodle Credit card : *declined* The food owner *grab straw and sips*
@Lazar-TS
2 жыл бұрын
2:33 That actually happens to me a lot, lol. I'm in my room alone most of the time.
@leongeng9119
2 жыл бұрын
💀💀💀 Bro
@leonnieupano9475
2 жыл бұрын
13:03 Josuke has been bored after Kira was gone huh?
@Saleman1997
2 жыл бұрын
Im gonna say it... IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE?!?!?!?!
@Unknown_-jh8uk
2 жыл бұрын
You know you are going to hell, when you find these memes funny and not something which shouldn't be laughed on
@einflinkeswiesel2695
2 жыл бұрын
My place there has been reserved for a long time...
@EsmenettaRien
2 жыл бұрын
at least I know I'll have a five star estate waiting on me
@Unknown_-jh8uk
2 жыл бұрын
@@einflinkeswiesel2695 lets sometime party together in hell @MasterKine
@holyek7892
2 жыл бұрын
This is so cursed the pope is going to wage another crusade. Excellent video!
@TheOppositeOfNo
2 жыл бұрын
grey table power: i turn into a grey table whenever i sense danger
@ashleycd6487
2 жыл бұрын
Yore in amerca, we say gray, educat yorselv
@raquelmyers9159
2 жыл бұрын
grey traveler(travel mug) is mine, actually sounds kinda cool
@itzajusta_Me
2 жыл бұрын
White plate. I shoot white plates out of my hands
@jems2885
2 жыл бұрын
Green wall I crush my enemies with green walls
@I0Darius0I
2 жыл бұрын
2:32 man family gathering are even better
@venomfan2020
Жыл бұрын
2:30 Same. The house next door with a single mother & 3 teenage girls. I baked 'em cookies. You don't know true fear when the dad is a policeman.
@bokaxet1698
2 жыл бұрын
7:25 Bro even the TTS voice gagged at that
@therealrosewish
2 жыл бұрын
8:18 Me: Lil’ Shifted My Nose Cartilage My Dad: Lil’ Aids *just kidding*
@pochiluis0570
2 жыл бұрын
24:25 actually she couldn’t even do that because Shazam is a kid so he can accused her of pedophilia
@CCinitial11
2 жыл бұрын
#dankness Me: takes of mask to breathe Everyone at the diving class
@solartear9588
2 жыл бұрын
7:26 bruh why did the tts gulp after talking about drinking pee 💀
@tomasblack6157
2 жыл бұрын
THANK YOU!!! I thought I was crazy!
@masterofadapting
2 жыл бұрын
We all know what it was doing.
@ExplorationRandomDestination
2 жыл бұрын
It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again
@aether_null983
2 жыл бұрын
7:59: as a sonic fan I can say with full confidence that this comment has made me cry and complentate my life's existence. 😂😂😂
@ExplorationRandomDestination
2 жыл бұрын
Lil hidden overdose
@catinabag2342
2 жыл бұрын
8:36 black bed :0 Sounds pretty cool :p
@cam3llia__
2 жыл бұрын
How the guy just waved at the “dude” 😭😭
@michaeljohnson1117
2 жыл бұрын
6:30 a disappointment? Gohan's college educated, married and can hold his own against the strongest fighters in the multiverse in his base form.
@yeayea8226
2 жыл бұрын
Even at cursed commentd dbs fans get triggered
@masonreppeto882
2 жыл бұрын
@@yeayea8226 keep talking bud.
@KeithElliott-zd8cx
Жыл бұрын
Dbz abridged: "gohan's the strongest in the universe but still doesn't do crap." Yeah, disappointment given we're talking a series about dudes yelling and punching each other or energy lasers, not a fucking high school slice of life anime.
@quittedmakinganewchannel.7095
2 жыл бұрын
White blanket cloth …that sounds so dumb-
@MattYeet
2 жыл бұрын
#dankness fart
@drydogg
2 жыл бұрын
#Dankness What Star Wars quote best describes your sex life? "Give into your anger!"
@thelennybandit5215
Жыл бұрын
8:37 huge coincidence im wearing a blue nautica shirt while sitting at my kitchen table
@planchartte
2 жыл бұрын
tfw when your rap name is apparently "Lil Epilepsy" i-
@MemesterTheMaster
2 жыл бұрын
8:05. I'm Lil twisted ankles after I fell on the stairs and saw my legs bled, and had to wait 5 minutes for my parents to come home.
@animezia
2 жыл бұрын
i'm penis stuck in water bottle.
@gwendolynsnyder463
2 жыл бұрын
I'm Lil Broken Foot, because I got hit by a car, got launched across the street, and fell on my feet, except one of them got broken. My spine.remained unharmed.
@MemesterTheMaster
2 жыл бұрын
Aw man. I'm sorry. Getting hit by a car sure isn't fun.
@Momo_Kawashima
2 жыл бұрын
"Name something you can say both during sex and during the 1919 paris peace conference" "We aren't finished until Italy gets back Corsica and the balkans over the adriatic" 11:44 fun fact: in Italy we eat horse meat. We even have dedicated butcher shops that only sell horse products. Horses are both a transportation thing and food, and they don't pollute neither, yet we still go around in cars. Let's go back to the horse and buggy
@n0t-m375
2 жыл бұрын
No no wait we eat it only in Italy? Seriously?
@Momo_Kawashima
2 жыл бұрын
@@n0t-m375 I dunno, everywhere else it seems like eating a horse is something weird and strange
@n0t-m375
2 жыл бұрын
@@Momo_Kawashima sei seria
@Momo_Kawashima
2 жыл бұрын
@@n0t-m375 serissimo, ad esempio ho certi amici americani, quando gli ho parlato della carne di cavallo mi hanno fatto "ma perché voi li mangiate?"
@n0t-m375
2 жыл бұрын
@@Momo_Kawashima ah😳
@thesavagegummybear7341
Жыл бұрын
22:24 “NO NO NO PLEASE STOP DON’T KILL ME FUCK FUCK NO!!!”
@lloydzeroa.k.aforger6990
2 жыл бұрын
Pop goes the weasel goes differently to me.
@th3_l0v3ly
2 жыл бұрын
I am lil jumped off my bed in a dream and hit my head on a door across the room, do NOT ask how, I thought I could fly
@MrlspPrt
2 жыл бұрын
0:25 I'm pretty sure Will Smith isn't a voyeur...
@drydogg
2 жыл бұрын
#Dankness Reddit: What's the most moanable name during sex? Me: Mona. Mona: 🤤🤤
@drydogg
2 жыл бұрын
Hehe!
@plant_guy_248
2 жыл бұрын
Yo ho catty. Thought I’d try it out for the heck of it.
@murg5234
2 жыл бұрын
"Like the video and subscribe rn, or this doggo will come to your room tonight." I was completely caught off guard while deciding what video to watch after this one. It took a good second for the horror to sink in and one and a half more to search and find the like button (already subscribed). But unfortunately, I was too late. Please help, idk what to do. Does it still count if I like the video after the doggo has been revealed? I'd take the chance, but it just feels wrong to click the like button wile a mutilated doggo stares into my soul. And how does it manage to look at me with squinted eyes. (Idk if I used the correct term, Google translate said it is)
@Gaizhun
2 жыл бұрын
#dankness Roses are red, These memes are cursed, It is not possible, For two people to be first.
@Bananashake3000
2 жыл бұрын
#Dankness 8:04 Lil Urinary Track Infection.....i love it😍
@ranga9647
2 жыл бұрын
8:01 lil making sure my legs are on the right way
@HAXED236
2 жыл бұрын
#dankness me: thinking I should go to bed cuz it’s 1am U: nah
@cawsomeaolin
2 жыл бұрын
4:10 Colin.
@ETOILEPHANTOME
2 жыл бұрын
Purple table woman, daughter of blue table man to the rescue!
@guntgunderson2829
2 жыл бұрын
My super hero name is the Grey Jack Rag
@anyskywalker547
2 жыл бұрын
#Dankness The Emos are All in my school LOL
@swindle9695
2 жыл бұрын
Yoooo! My rap name is Lil' Kidney Stone! Let's go! B)
@henrikhyrup3995
2 жыл бұрын
4:52 okay Satan, calm down a bit....
@cory_and_co
2 жыл бұрын
9:02 I can read minds within a 60 ft radius (sorry, I'm American and they don't teach me how to turn ft into basically any other measurement)
@wetmoistpurplebarneygloves
2 жыл бұрын
But everyone within 60ft of u is always hor knee
@cory_and_co
2 жыл бұрын
@@wetmoistpurplebarneygloves depends what I'm feeling whether this is bad or not... at least I'll know if they plan on jumping me too-
@athenabaxter2897
2 жыл бұрын
8:36 white computer, guess I'm a hacker.
@troystaunton254
2 жыл бұрын
6:20 storm from xmen.
@Leelz247
2 жыл бұрын
Jeez, these really are cursed
@guyz1252
2 жыл бұрын
23:00 no we didn't pee bc we don't drink water (and then pee the rest) we get vitamins and don't have anything left to pee or poop out
@buckednasty1424
2 жыл бұрын
Im not racist, im just biased based on skin color
@Stinkus17
2 жыл бұрын
8:20 my rap name is: lil chopped of the tips of my fingers in a wood router.
@gibbsterV
2 жыл бұрын
8:04 lil nearly blinded myself, 8:33 Black Paper
@dankdaze42069
2 жыл бұрын
I don't know if I hate myself but I decided to eat a bowl of soup before and while I watch this
@doctorj1607
2 жыл бұрын
4.48. Jennifer Lawrence has really let herself go.
@joshua_bradford
2 жыл бұрын
14:43 how to use as a weapon 3 words having AIDS resealed
@John-Laird
2 жыл бұрын
7:11 dudes prescription is yes.
@ApexNoob-hf8bh
2 күн бұрын
22:44 the actual reason of rise of global ocean levels
@aikun4626
2 жыл бұрын
This is the best
@wildridegaming874
2 жыл бұрын
2:16 Muppets Live action movie. He plays Beaker.
@radebar11pl44
2 жыл бұрын
8:35 white liquid
@Eeee-xl4xb
2 жыл бұрын
please tell me a tumor isn’t able to grow teeth and eyes.
@gigachad2437
2 жыл бұрын
18:21 "No, I am your father."
@trevorwall87
2 жыл бұрын
"Did you call war crimes russian culture" Have you seen Russian history
@derrick8629
2 жыл бұрын
I could’ve sworn that the thumbnail was different half a day ago
@TheAbyssalBasin
Жыл бұрын
6:36 Now Imagine If It was Zeke's
@kekwpepe8754
2 жыл бұрын
15:53 lil iron defficiency
@kiteman3251
Жыл бұрын
My superhero name is Black dropout
@Wemdiculous
2 жыл бұрын
Ok… but did it end with her face sown on him? Or, did it end with his everything but the face sown on her? Can’t tell
@KeithElliott-zd8cx
Жыл бұрын
Her face. It's really hard to skin like, a whole fucking person and wear them like animal themed pyjama onesie with hood. I've only seen that work once, in the first MIB movie with will smith.
@HboskO1982
2 жыл бұрын
Catty! Yo Ho.
@TheCollectorMagnolia
2 жыл бұрын
I hate when people say that elastic girl just plopped out like a balloon it's like they didn't pay attention to the movie!it takes time to develop her power it's not DBZ (Gohan specifically).
@KeithElliott-zd8cx
Жыл бұрын
The implication is HER kids just plop out. Not she slid out super easy as a baby. Never even heard that said. Also little jack, a baby, clearly has powers despite being below walking age, so presumably she could've been elastic as a child.
@ManOfScarab
2 жыл бұрын
#DANKNESS Me: *switches teams* Trans kid: hey you can't switch teams like that Me: imma bout to end this mans whole career
@MediHusky
2 жыл бұрын
18:15 how many times are you allowed to press the button. This is like a free money button for 50% of the population.
@danninmatthews5640
2 жыл бұрын
9:01 I can meet alternate versions of myself.
@Bluesonofman
2 жыл бұрын
16:59 I would do something like that as I would want to make sure my bloodline and family name goes on
@masterofdoots5965
2 жыл бұрын
8:37 Mine would be Blue Pill Man Superpowers: Biggest Dickus
@F4NG3DG0DSSYS
Жыл бұрын
my superhero name is black blanket girl-
@Evovila
2 жыл бұрын
8:39 Camo astroneer man
@j4m3s35
2 жыл бұрын
8:36 im blue table man too
@userlesschannel3092
2 жыл бұрын
7:19 - nothing to say. That is have been expected, but anyway, it is wtfying.
@hrithikroshan7280
2 жыл бұрын
Yo ho Catty, Yo ho Catty.
@ashleycd6487
2 жыл бұрын
8:30 Black cat My cat is also black Superpowers: able to call her to me at any time
@unconventional800
2 жыл бұрын
2:09 offensive. some of us actually feel this way, and this ain’t gonna make it better… just came here for laughs…
@Lets-Die
2 жыл бұрын
My step bro was their neighbor and I waited on them at the gas station. Nice ladys lol
@Lets-Die
2 жыл бұрын
"Doctor episode" they were really at liquor store lol
@arturslunga4226
Жыл бұрын
You know it's bad when the narration goes silent
@sufficientframe
2 жыл бұрын
The thumbnail brought me memories.
@YukoShushi
11 ай бұрын
8:36 white heater
@mademyday7556
2 жыл бұрын
8:36 stripped computer what da fuck
@watercat-veki
2 жыл бұрын
18:20 bitch gimme that im alreayd a girl what could go wrong im gona become a millionare mum DAD YOU CAN ACTUALLY AFFORD THE MILK AND COME BACK
@l.a.b9997
Жыл бұрын
YO HO CATTY! YO HO CATTY!
@beanz3089
Жыл бұрын
That thumbnail tho 🥶
@chasecamarillo5151
2 жыл бұрын
8:35 black zack (my brother is named zack)
@swal6708
2 жыл бұрын
8:35 gray plate/keyboard/mouse/monitor
@joshua_bradford
Жыл бұрын
13:01 even if it was changed to all that it would technically be sexist towards men too so just because it's betrayed as a male of a species that doesn't mean it's sexist the fact that you think that the Lion King is sexist kind of makes you sexist
@ludekkriz3119
2 жыл бұрын
8:34 turqoise chair
@donaldbrownrigg8150
2 жыл бұрын
8:33 mine is invisible computer
@regularperson5647
2 жыл бұрын
the picture at 22:52 can be explained by a decrease in cocaine usage
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