I fear for the future generations growing up in this digital era with limitless amounts of consumption filled with copious doses of dopamine. I believe our generation is living through a transformative stage and we must make sure to control how we utilize tools. Just as our ancestors used stone tools millions of years ago to butcher modern animals for the sake of providing for their tribe, we must utilize tools to serve us, not the other way around. There’s millions of us suffering and recovering from addictions every day in ways most people will never understand.
Porn addiction is a battle against yourself. Nobody will monitor your behavior for years on end to check whether you are watching. You have to be the big brother telling yourself to stop. Especially when the urges try to inch upon you and consume you. You have to treat it as a test and overcome those struggles. Porn addiction was a drug for me. My tolerance level decreased the more I consumed, making me want more just to alleviate the unease. My addiction desensitized me physically and emotionally, affecting my perception of women.
Reading scientific evidence of how porn negatively affects my brain instilled fear inside me. Only for a couple of months before I relapsed back as if nothing happened. I was enslaved by my addiction and was truly trapped, living inside a cage. I came to realize that for me to overcome addiction, I had to desire change. You have to put in effort day after day and continuously remind yourself of a vision, a person who you’d like to become.
Here are some tips that helped me:
-Delete all cues to reduce triggers. I deleted social media to avoid looking at models or any sexual triggers.
-Replace your idle time. I would watch porn when I was feeling anxious or bored. Force yourself to pick up a hobby. I filled my time with cooking and journaling.
-Visualize. Create a vision of your future ideal self. It doesn’t have to be concrete. Think about someone you admire. Would they approve? Even when I didn’t give a damn about myself, I cared about family. Realize that your actions impact those around you. Even when you think you are alone.
I’ve quit watching porn hundreds of times but never addiction. I don’t know which stage you are in your addiction but I feel for you. Every single day will be a challenge and you will feel the resistance. Some days are easier, some days are harder. Don’t be discouraged by whether you are making progress or not. Measure your progress based on your effort. You aren’t defined by your relapses but your decision to remain in recovery despite them. Remember where you came from. I dealt with this on my own but I want you to know that you can seek out help. You are worth recovering and your strength comes from your will to change. Break out of the cage you live in.
I hope my experience can empower you to take control over your life, wherever you are. We’re fighting with you, many in silence.
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