I’ve had 9 therapist that I had to fire. They were completely useless. Shallon has helped me more with dealing with my life issues in my early 20s
@user-sy3md9ti2y
5 ай бұрын
fr i will need this woman to do more motivational videos it helped me more than therapy as well🥲 if i could take the thousands of dollars I've spent on therapy and give it to her instead I totally would
@romana250
5 ай бұрын
❤
@BriannasPlanet
5 ай бұрын
Same 🙏 Shallon is the best I love all her KZitem videos
@NourTheDreamer
5 ай бұрын
I love the expression "I had to fire" This attitude should be more common, we're not slaves to doctors/therapists, we pay them to be hired to help us, we're not beneath them cause we have issues 💕
@katiavoznaya2395
5 ай бұрын
Yeah, therapists seem to me out of touch with the current reality. They had studied 30 years ago and think they know everything while the (dating) landscape has changed so much that I even wonder if they. know anything. With social media causing anxiety and dating apps causing indecision, they don't understand what modern day women go through. This is of course if you are looking at older therapists. Younger ones could be clueless just as much as they studied to become therapists because they wanted a good job not because they actually care, therefor, also don't keep up with the latest developments.
@Anna-gi4oq
5 ай бұрын
It’s harder to get out of trauma when it’s from someone you love. If it’s a stranger who did you wrong, there is not much to think or learn. But if that’s your boyfriend or family, people who say they love and care for you, then cognitively you get stuck because you mind can not explain this.
@watermelonlover745
4 ай бұрын
Yes exactly
@jenniferhutter4698
4 ай бұрын
Shallon's experiences are a testament to resilience, painting a silver lining on the cloud of trauma. It's a curious space, the 'Goldilocks zone' of adversity-enough to jolt us awake, yet not enough to cripple. This narrow strait between being unscathed and utterly broken is where strength is often forged. It's where the human spirit learns its quicksilver dance of stepping over darkness into light. But what if the dance becomes a dirge? If the scars were deep, the story untold, would we still revel in the narrative of overcoming? It’s worth pondering how we share our tales of survival. For every easy stride past adversity, there's another for whom the path isn't just steep; it’s a precipice. Shallon, like many, stands on the brighter side of this divide, offering hope to those still navigating the shadows.
@maybememory1
5 ай бұрын
Good for you. Seriously. I’ve had trauma from 5 car accidents that I contributed zero to, and was very injured. People have told me I’m brave or tough because I got through it, but I thought, “what is the alternative? I lay down and die at twenty? At thirty? No.”
@bbbycc11
5 ай бұрын
“We almost died, but you didn’t. You didn’t die.” I’m taking this to heart for my heart break that I’ve been dealing with for YEARS. I didn’t die. 😢
@shallonlester
5 ай бұрын
You didn’t die!! I try to carry this ethos with me through anything, whether it’s a breakup or a kidnapping. These weapons formed against you actually did not prosper!
@bbbycc11
4 ай бұрын
@@shallonlester 🥺 I'm going to carry it with me too! Love you and your videos so much! xo Shalligator
@oldhickory4686
4 ай бұрын
And I'm glad you're here too! Women probably have not researched much about Teddy Roosevelt and his writings, but I think he has great anecdotes on living this life to its fullest and doing it with wisdom. God doesn't want us to live in fear or have a fear based mentality about life. Especially when someone is saved by Christ, death is just a doorway to Him, so what is there to fear?! “Only those are fit to live who do not fear to die; and none are fit to die who have shrunk from the joy of life and the duty of life. Both life and death are parts of the same Great Adventure.” -Teddy Roosevelt Proverbs 28:1 KJV “The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion.”
@bbbycc11
4 ай бұрын
@@oldhickory4686🥹 love that
@oldhickory4686
4 ай бұрын
@@bbbycc11 I'm glad. I'm used to getting told to crawl back in the hole I crawled out of...
@tinac4332
5 ай бұрын
Dude the other day my Mom was telling a story about how she got beaten and robbed in Philly by some black guy. Then went on to apologize for saying he was black. I was like "Mom, you cant be serious, cut that bs right now" 😒 thats messed up that she would even consider apologizing for using a descriptor.. i swear these past few years, peoples brains are melting 😓
@shallonlester
5 ай бұрын
Agree with you more. I’m not sure when victims of crimes, or police or district attorneys put wokeness above their own safety, but they have.
@BreeElisexo
4 ай бұрын
I was just thinking about this the other day. We use descriptors when describing someone we’re not used to seeing or who is a different race than us. usually it’s not a racist thing.
@ainemcglynn25
4 ай бұрын
@@BreeElisexo100%
@jenniferhutter4698
4 ай бұрын
It’s intriguing, isn’t it? When descriptors become an unwelcome shadow trailing behind our stories, like an old habit we can’t shake. It’s human to notice differences; it’s society that teaches us which differences to notice and how to weigh them. I wonder, do we share the same eagerness in detailing the mundane-say, the “white” cashier who overcharged us, or the “blonde” driver who cut us off? Perhaps not. It might be less about the color and more about the contrast-how often we paint people with broad brushes based on the palette of our encounters. It’s not inherently about racism, but the habitual lens we look through that could use a little polishing. The real question is, can we describe our experiences without the shades of preconception? Now, that’s a canvas worth contemplating!
@tinac4332
4 ай бұрын
@@jenniferhutter4698 well no, I don't find it intriguing at all.. not to be rude, but if I went to an MSPCA and they had numerous dogs- they know some breeds are more aggressive, some dogs are more prone to illness, some dogs dont get along well with others or children.. but they didnt give the name of the breed, because it would give those dogs a disadvantage... I would never go there ever again! 🤣 Descriptors don't follow me around like a boogey man- they're essential to our survival!
@raquellennan1760
4 ай бұрын
I had a close call recently, there was a man running around stabbing women in my local mall. He was close by, he murdered 7 people, I had to run for my life, it was so heavy, I felt quite numb to it all. I can't afford to be depressed, I had a moment, Im in therapy, felt it and I'm now moving forward. They say within the first 28 days of an event you have to do serious healing or its on its way to deep rooted trauma.
@ichiban6004
5 ай бұрын
The best part of this story was you talking about our freedoms. I am depressed seeing what people around us complain about. Especially on twitter and social media. It’s such a sign of TRUE privilege to sit and complain about the most ridiculous things online. It shows how little we have actually had to go through and how little we fear. Watching our freedoms slowly get taken away by the govt is truly truly depressing I wish more ppl would wake up to it.
@shallonlester
5 ай бұрын
It makes me crazy too, hearing those complaints. America wants to see you win. People shouldn’t take that for granted.
@watermelonlover745
4 ай бұрын
My life has gone to shit the past two years
@Stella-cv4mc
4 ай бұрын
I just wish she had talked about privilege in general, instead of making it about "America" and "Africa"... There are plenty of people in the US who are extremely poor, born into poverty, don't have shoes, don't have electricity, are genuinely struggling etc. The US is a very corrupt country in which many people suffer (and it's not their own fault!). Just think of the amount of people in the US who are human trafficked everyday. Shallon is talking about US Americans like herself who were able to grow up in a nice neighborhood, go to university etc. The US doesn't "want you to succeed" lmao, it's a place that favors profits over people, it's capitalism > humans. I don't understand why she'd shame US Americans for not succeeding when the 95% of successful US Americans are essentially nepo babies or were born upper middle class like Shallon. (I'm not even US-American but feel the need to defend their population lol). In the same vein, "in Africa, where people don't have shoes" just sounds so ignorant, especially if she was talking about whatever places in Kenya and Tanzania she had visited. But anyway. It's always annoying when seriously privileged people like Shallon think that THEY can school everyone about privilege. 😅
@shimmeringchimps3842
4 ай бұрын
@@Stella-cv4mcSo this is not a woke channel. Your disempowering victimhood spiel about "privilege" is exactly what this whole channel preaches against. You WILL be much happier in life and will understand what Shallon is saying once you drop the woke thing, I promise. I climbed out of that hole and you can too! Life is so much better on the other side.
@Stella-cv4mc
4 ай бұрын
@@shimmeringchimps3842😂 Yes simmering chips, what an intelligent approach you have
@TiaraonCamera
5 ай бұрын
Saving this video for later when the icky trauma feelings come up, thank you sis
@shallonlester
5 ай бұрын
I got you girl! We’re in this together!
@magicalspacegiraffe
5 ай бұрын
Your mother is downplaying it because she knew it was her responsibility to keep you safe but she wanted a funny trippy to funky places for whatever unresolved issues. She placed her wants before your basic needs of safety and stability. Good people make bad choices and that was a bad choice.
@neliland
5 ай бұрын
Her mother sounds fantastic❤ she is not perfect like none of us and I believe Shallon doesn't blame her, she just aknowledges she was gaslit ....
@magicalspacegiraffe
5 ай бұрын
@@neliland We can admit she is fantastic and also behaved so incredibly selfish she and her child was almost murdered. As I said, good people can make bad choices. Putting your kid in danger for ... cool travel pics? Bragging rights you traveled? Something else? That's a bad choice. Doesn't nullify all the good she did, but that was f up.
@katrinklausa584
5 ай бұрын
Perhaps yes but…in this case she may have unknowingly done the right thing. Sometimes it’s better for a parent not to participate in kid’s panic and fear. And it’s especially important for a parent not to pour into the child their own emotions when the kid is not panicked, just a little bit disoriented. However denying the kid the right to feel fear when there obviously was a reasonable cause to feel this way is not great either and I agree - it may be caused by their guilt or shame for not preventing such a situation from happening.
@magicalspacegiraffe
5 ай бұрын
@@katrinklausa584 Taking your child to Africa in the 90ies is a very extreme way to introduce them to fear. I am not sure if you're pretending or genuinely obtuse.
@neliland
5 ай бұрын
Taking your kids to Africa was fine both in 90s, 50s n today. You are ignorant and probably have never been. Accidents happen...
@daryna94
5 ай бұрын
Sometimes numbness is a cover emotion that helps you survive in the moment... but underneath it is a LOT of pain.
@heathergillespie4904
5 ай бұрын
WOW, Shallon!💗💋 You survived. And you lived. And continue to live. It's the best response to a negative event🙏🏾
@deadlock7502
5 ай бұрын
Great wisdom here. I have gone thru some crazy situations all around the world and honestly, I have the same attitude! I move forward with gratitude so I don’t feel bitter and angry and walk around hating life and not trusting the world. Thank you so much for sharing ❤
@cheyenne7982
4 ай бұрын
I think this is just the difference between experiencing something traumatic and actually having PTSD.
@TT.3123
4 ай бұрын
Yea definitely agreed. But I mean we’re all wise enough to look past it and still take away the main message
@jenniferhutter4698
4 ай бұрын
Yep
@uhhhhh4748
5 ай бұрын
Very scary that happened. There's a pilot from New Zealand whose plane went down in Papua New Guinea and he's being held hostage by the rebels trying to convince Indonesia to give them independence and he's been there over a YEAR. Absolutely horrendous. They have said recently they'll release him at some point, so hopefully that happens
@patr70
5 ай бұрын
Awful 😮
@sharonblumbergs7596
4 ай бұрын
The body keep the score " book ...check it out
@shaniceASMR7777
4 ай бұрын
Crazy
@chelseamiracle128
5 ай бұрын
I did do a looooot of therapy, read many, many books. I changed how I related to the world and how I saw myself.
@chelseamiracle128
5 ай бұрын
I developed veeerry strong PTSD from someone conning me. I couldn't get it out of my head it was so deafening and humiliating, but it was highly premeditated and dragged on for a year. I have read some things that can kind of change the likelihood of developing it. I saved my own life because I figured it out before the consequences became dire. It was so sick and gross and how they picked me was so insulting... I couldn't escape it.
@MariaLuckyxo
4 ай бұрын
Chelsea you should be so proud of yourself that you had the strength to save yourself. I'm sorry you went through that, con men are such vile scum. 🫂💝
@sophiemcerlich8809
4 ай бұрын
Do SOMATIC therapy. I suffered from extreme anxiety, PTSD, and depression for the majority of my life due to ongoing trauma related to 40 operations throughout my childhood. Within three months, I was healed of all mental illness I had suffered for 20 years. If you are open, seek out energy healing. You don't have a choice in what causes you to experience trauma, but you do have a choice in healing it. The only way to experience life in peace is to go towards the pain. Transmute it by loving the part of you that is hurt with every fibre of your being. You can heal from anything, no matter how bad. All the best xx
@AmBrit13
5 ай бұрын
Data = Information = Knowledge = Wisdom You absolutely NAILED it! xo
@shallonlester
5 ай бұрын
Wow, thank you!
@missesLMA
5 ай бұрын
I think it’s harder to move on from it is if it’s still ongoing or triggers are still there. I nearly drowned and saw my best friend drown as a child, and I’m not traumatised by those things. However I had a horrible upbringing and that’s hard to move on from since a lot of my family members still trigger me.
@marnybassett8713
5 ай бұрын
There's trauma, and then there's PTSD and CPTSD. If you have the later, your memories are so fragmented, your brain can't close the loop to let it go. And that's how you get stuck. And you think and talk about it constantly in an attempt to understand and heal. And it sucks!!!!! But treatments like EMDR can help.
@Jess-kn8vl
5 ай бұрын
I have CPTSD and this is an accurate description. Its terrible!
@Stella-cv4mc
5 ай бұрын
Yup. I think what Shallon describes can be applicable to some forms of trauma, like certain traumatic events. But long-term trauma and CPTSD are a whole different beast 😞
@Kerrviii
5 ай бұрын
What is emdr?
@CupNoodleKitty
5 ай бұрын
I have scheduled my first EMDR session soon but I don’t know how to go about it if I don’t have one specific memory with all details… how did you do that in therapy?
@tammv2306
4 ай бұрын
@@CupNoodleKittyyou're going to be okay. You'll be guided. All you need is one piece of an event (unfortunately a traumatic event) but You'll be guided through the rest. You're okay 😘
@TK-xh1xc
4 ай бұрын
“My psyche’s gonna be heard but she doesn’t get to monologue”. That’s some serious wisdom right there. I need to memorise that sentence.
@user-cn7mw1zh8l
4 ай бұрын
as a mental health professional, when she asked, "is trauma a choice" I LMFAO. Uh, no. Brain: hold my beer.
@SofiaAmarosophiemaro
4 ай бұрын
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
@labgirl739
5 ай бұрын
Shallon, thank you! I listen to your for 5+ years and you helped become the strong woman I am today.
@amandaredd3057
3 ай бұрын
I love and respect military men and women. It's awesome to see people speak about them and American freedoms with that same respect ❤
@AureliosB-vh1st
5 ай бұрын
Wow. I clicked on this video & I'm glad I did. Didn't know this about you but it's relatable in a completely different way to my own experiences in life.
@travelfoodielove
3 ай бұрын
Shallon what’s so strange is my friend overdosed last year - fentanyl in some drugs a girl brought over his house. One of the coolest and kindest men I know. Tragic. He wasn’t a drug addict, he just dabbled and got a bad bag. Unfortunately. My fiancé was his best friend and he would get obsessed with trying to figure out the what ifs of how our friend died. And it’s funny when I heard you say, “shit happens…” That was literally the message I got from his soul when he passed. I literally felt him say his soul is finally at peace. He took that exit point and hey SHIT happens. It’s insane. I have loved ones that passed when I was younger so many problems I consider trivial now. I agree with so many of your points. Lol just wanted to say Godspeed your healing and I love all your insight. You are such a badass, so inspirational and I love the realness!!!! Keep being an inspiration. God bless you. ❤🙏🌺
@user-gb8dj6wf3r
5 ай бұрын
Hey Shallon, im kind of a nerd so dont ask how i know this but there is a difference between a traumatic event and psycho trauma. The psycho trauma is the psychological damage that develops if a person does not have these three factors that contributes to the person moving on into a healthy state of mind: 1. Time to process the event 2. A sense of connection and closeness (great community to fall back on) 3. Insight, which i think you tap in on a lot in this video (btw thanks dor sharing you story love the way your mind works)
@s.zen.4587
4 ай бұрын
I dont thibk trauma is a choice. There are things that have happened to me that are much worse than some events than what traumatized me, and it sounds so petty to not be able to get over some things, while others are like "meh, thats life". But trauma response are so specific and disabling, I dont think its a choice. Its just a reaction to what we didn't see coming and really challenges our core understanding of things
@kw2300
4 ай бұрын
So relatable!! I lost my monkey, but he never came back, I can still see him, feel him and smell him :(
@denisegarcia5447
5 ай бұрын
Love it, Shallon! Thank you for having the courage to share your ideas with us. Our thoughts create our reality, you are so right about being resilient. 💛💛💛
@angelicainchains
5 ай бұрын
People called you racist because you got kidnapped?! 😭💀
@patr70
5 ай бұрын
😂
@joannawinters6592
5 ай бұрын
I live in Mexico and recently saw a woman being called racist for wanting to carry pepper spray.
@mymisow2956
5 ай бұрын
I guess naming the country instead of the continent is more respectful and make you sound less ignorant.
@goread5544
5 ай бұрын
@@mymisow2956was going to say this. As someone born in an African country there is nothing more irritating than Americans referring to a whole continent as if it’s one country. Or referring to “Africans” as if we are all the same and love each other 😂
@marykay7878
5 ай бұрын
@@goread5544 i also found it telling that she said she doesnt consider egypt africa.....
@travelfoodielove
3 ай бұрын
You’re so strong and you’re so wise. You just GET IT.
@yeranishunor
5 ай бұрын
DO NOT TRAVEL ALONE AS A WOMAN ESPECIALLY IN INDIA!!!!! DO NOT SAY I DID NOT WARN YOU.
@Ann-eo8fr
4 ай бұрын
True
@lalywindland5764
4 ай бұрын
Traveling with a male relative isn't safe there either, a woman was gangr@ped recently, her husband couldn't protect her from a gang of 7.
@pabloescobarschanclas
4 ай бұрын
don’t travel to india, period. it’s just not worth it.
@yeranishunor
4 ай бұрын
@@lalywindland5764 Wow. Did the police do anything?
@lalywindland5764
4 ай бұрын
@@yeranishunor Surprisingly, yes, they arrested the culprits and paid damages to the victim, publicly. However, the crime was done and the trauma will take time to heal...
@jenniferhutter4698
4 ай бұрын
Like you, Shallon, I’ve navigated through storms of trauma that, while devastating, have proven to be profound teachers. There was a day etched in my memory that marked an agonizing separation, an upheaval that seemed to halt the orbit of my world. Yet, in that shadow, I discovered a fierce tenacity that now defines my days. This journey has sculpted me, not into a monument of sorrow, but into a living testament of resilience. My story is not a ledger of loss but a blueprint for rebirth, a saga of seizing back the narrative and crafting a future where the echoes of the past fortify rather than define me. To those inspired by Shallon’s insights: let’s recognize that within the crucible of our darkest moments lies the spark that can ignite our most luminous dawn.
@RachelAlan-wi7pv
4 ай бұрын
You can't choose to be traumatized but you can choose how you deal with that trauma. That's kind of how life goes period. we choose how we respond
@annasynner5200
5 ай бұрын
My mother was kidnapped at 5 years old during a Christmas party in Palm beach, she remembers her older sisters looking for her and when the man let her go, they cried. however, these same sisters and her parents have been gaslighting her about it for the past 40 yrs lol. thankfully shes not traumatized by it but the fact they deny it is insane
@ajf9041
5 ай бұрын
I love this video so much! Thank you for sharing Shallon. This is what I needed to hear. We shouldn’t let our traumas hold us back. ❤
@shallonlester
5 ай бұрын
You are so welcome 💋💫
@sim771
4 ай бұрын
I love Laura and the Free Pass absolutely works! It’s giving yourself a cut off point to behaving in the same way or reacting in the same loops as before. You’re free passing your way through all the bs and getting to the point of happiness or even just neutrality where you can start acting in a proactive way. It’s worth it, completely worth trying and adopting cause it’s pretty revolutionary.
@Sylvia-lb8dw
4 ай бұрын
Your statement “Trauma is a choice” reminds me of Elizabeth Smart. She was famously kidnapped at 14 years old by an old man and his girlfriend. They dragged her to a tent in the woods where they performed a mock wedding ceremony and then he proceeded to rape her. They kept her hostage for 9 months before she was rescued. She now is married, has 3 kids and lives an extremely happy and normal life. She gives inspirational speeches about overcoming trauma and has a really positive and warm energy. Essentially she said “Just because they got 9 months, doesn’t mean they need to take the rest of my life.” ❤ It’s also ironic that your brought up you have the hots for military guys. Veterans can claim and get financial support tor a medical condition such as PTSD, if they claim it occurred as a result of being in the military. So veterans actually dwell more on trauma they had to try to get money for a PTSD diagnosis because it gives them a monthly paycheck from the government. It’s wild because a lot of patients abuse the system and people who really need the money and aren’t as strong advocates for themselves get audited. But essentially it pays for veterans to be lifelong victims and have that victim mentality.
@nursemakchews8601
5 ай бұрын
You ate with this one. Life happens, we choose what happens next
@jenniferhutter4698
4 ай бұрын
Shallon, I appreciate your insights on the hardships faced in other countries and your personal experiences in Africa. However, I must express that hardship and severe living conditions aren’t foreign to many Americans either. As a blonde, blue-eyed American woman, I resonate with your perspective, yet my upbringing tells a different American story-one that mirrors the struggles you described abroad. I am a direct descendant of the “Okies” from the Great Depression who migrated westward in search of a better life. Despite our geographical differences, my childhood in the 1980s was marked by similar struggles. Growing up as a migrant worker in predominantly Hispanic labor fields, I too experienced life without basic amenities-no electricity, no running water, living in a tent, and the constant battle for clean clothes and sufficient food. Your statement that Americans are unaware of such hardships might overlook the diverse experiences within our own borders. Many of us, myself included, have narratives that echo the global stories of struggle you highlighted. It’s crucial we acknowledge that hardship knows no borders and can foster deeper understanding and solidarity across all our experiences. Looking forward to more enlightening discussions, Jennifer
@jadaraines
4 ай бұрын
Ooh, Shallon! I have been waiting for this story FOREVER. I hope it's not too insensitive to say that after hearing you sarcastically mention your kidnapping story offhandedly in a few videos, I started viewing it almost like a dark running joke in a sitcom, and now this is finally the flashback episode. 😉 In terms of processing trauma, there is a lot I could say here, but I'll start with saying that you are SPOT ON. Personally, I was in a situation where I was emotionally abused very young for 2 years by someone I considered a best friend, and was constantly in a negative trauma loop of flashbacks, terror, trapped emotions, and low self-esteem that led to me becoming deeply depressed. After years of cycling through therapists, (And trying literally EVERY form of therapy in the book including more holistic stuff like shadow work, parts-based therapy, and EMDR) I had one recommended by a doctor, and after relaying my story, the first thing she said to me was, "Your past therapists have kept you in a victim narrative for way too long." I was shocked and honestly a little offended. She told me, "Jada, you just have to let it go." I was skeptical and said, "But how do I do that? Shouldn't I wait for my brain to finish processing it? Won't the flashbacks go away, then?" What she said next blew my mind. She said, "You ALREADY HAVE processed it. You've felt the emotions, you understand why it happened and what you would change, and now you're done. To let it go, all you have to do is stop thinking about it." I was still EXTREMELY skeptical, but I was desperate, so I told myself internally, 'I'll give it one full month.' In the beginning, my obsessive thoughts and flashbacks about my trauma were so bad that I literally wore a rubber band around my arm and would snap it on my inner wrist whenever I noticed myself thinking about it to give my brain a negative stimulus (since our minds want to take the path of least resistance!). By the end of the month, it was like it never happened, and I was so happy I wanted to cry. Basically, my M.O. for trauma now is: 1) Allow yourself to process what happened: Think about it, feel the emotions in your head and body, PHYSICALLY cry, scream, punch a pillow, etc. Let whatever needs to come out, come out. Let yourself have that time to fully wallow, and go "God, I was so stupid, I fucking hate him!" Make sure not to let this last for too long though - I'd say depending on the situation, maybe you can cap it after a couple weeks. (I did mine in a day, because YES, trauma is a choice, and I wanted to let it go! Plus I'd spent literal years ruminating in it, so I think it's safe to say I was ready) 2) Autopsy it: What went wrong here? What do I need to learn? What can I do differently next time? (This is NOT to beat yourself up, but to be analytical and detached) 3: Let it go. Completely stop thinking about it. Use the rubber band trick if you have to. Mantras are also helpful if you catch yourself in a flashback, ex. 'I got out of that situation, and my ex was a shitty person. Now I know how to stand up for myself. I can move on.' For me personally, this doesn't mean that I NEVER ever think about my trauma, but now if I remember it, it actually FEELS like a regular memory - not like I'm physically living there anymore, and I can go, "Oh yeah, that sucked but it's over now." Which is something I could NEVER do before. I know this was a long comment, but I hope it helps! 💖
@LosAngelesLaura
4 ай бұрын
WOW WOW WOW WOW! I LOVE THIS! ❤ my sister and I did this unknowingly with our trauma from our narcissistic mother… It’s the best thing we’ve ever done! 🩷
@allyhvis6046
5 ай бұрын
Finally the kidnapping story! I've been curious to know it for so long
@elanalieberman3719
5 ай бұрын
We all have our cross(es) to bear, the struggle is what makes us real and authentic and human. Love your content Shallon, thank you as always!
@Keepitpink
4 ай бұрын
If you’ve experienced trauma you can absolutely find ways to cope by dissociating from the emotions. Distancing yourself from what happened by being hyper independent or being alone so there’s no danger near. I’m the same way, and I don’t feel sorry about it.
@sws316
5 ай бұрын
I’ve wanted to know this story!!! I’m also trying to heal from childhood trauma. I feel like I’ve been hurting for long enough and now I just want to move on and be okay.
@sabinasb2445
5 ай бұрын
Check Dr.Gabor Mate, Trauma Specialist, his KZitem is 👍, also he spoke on different podcast, just look after him on KZitem... Wish you a lot of ❤❤
@AdeleDaisyx3
4 ай бұрын
This video couldn't have a better timing. Last Friday i witnessed a man commit suiside in public. It was incredibly traumatic and for the first few days i went on with my life hoping it wouldnt effect me, but the scene has kept replaying in my mind when im outside or trying to go to sleep. I am strong and doing my best to deal with this unexpected trauma.
@pabloescobarschanclas
4 ай бұрын
he just offed himself in public…? wtf
@user-sb1mr6vd3u
4 ай бұрын
I think I get off on being checked by shallon 😂 it's my favorite!! ❤ she goes off on tangents that hit me to my core and im motivated enough to take on the world! ❤Love you Shallon!!
@nadanieuwoudt1638
4 ай бұрын
Shallon… I don’t know why I like you… but I do… greetings from South Africa
@morales419
5 ай бұрын
Sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing your story. Love your videos ❤
@575leena
4 ай бұрын
This video was right on time as I have been dealing with a lot of trauma of my own past few weeks. Please do more videos like this of uplifting humanity! Loved your video!
@RebeccaBardess
5 ай бұрын
I got cPTSD from my brother’s sudden death, being tortured by a military doctor, a severe car crash, child loss, and some pretty horrific f***boy abuse. But when my dad suddenly dropped dead out of nowhere a couple of months ago, I thought: “No fucking more trauma!” Yes, I was sad and freaked out etc, but there was a shedload to organise and my mother to look after, and I absolutely refused to be traumatised by it. He was old. He died. Humans die. It’s a feature, not a flaw. I love him, I’ll miss him, but I mourned way too long for my brother and my unborn twins and I’m not doing that again. I’m still alive. If I was wrong, I’ll apologise to him when I die. Meanwhile, I have people to help and things to do, and nothing will stop that.
@cherb3145
5 ай бұрын
Good for you! Yes, life gives us a lot of suffering and I guess we sometimes reach the point of deciding, the hurting is not worth it. It is time to turn life around and be happy regardless of the circumstances. Your dad knows you love him. You don't have to give up years to suffering because he is gone. Remember the good times with him and keep those memories close.
@AnabelaU2277
5 ай бұрын
Oh my goodness! I've been wanting to know about this story and I almost left a comment requesting a video on this! ❤
@Sara-jd4gi
5 ай бұрын
Coming from SA myself, i relate to what you said there. There really is another kind of education about safety and how to survive that you innately have to grown up with here. I am very grateful for it in that wherever I go, my upbringing allows me to always be the first one in a room (of international folk), who can sense trouble a foot (even something benign like a fight) and put a plan in to action. I do not think a person can choose to be traumatised because its really more about how your body processes stress at a cellular level, more than it is about a cognitive decision in the moment.I do however think you have espoused a great example of post-traumatic growth. Where you can look objectively at a traumatic event and mine the event for any treasures and just accept it for what it was - not more or no less. That is powerful because you see the monster under the bed for what it was - a failing of society on a human level, and less about you personally.
@m.v.8754
4 ай бұрын
I had to hear this today. Thank you Shallon for sharing it. You are wonderful. 😊
@Raelven
4 ай бұрын
I have chosen to not be traumatized, many times in my life. The philosophy of Stoicism helps immensely.
@sailorVenus225
4 ай бұрын
kudus to your parents for travelling this much with you. Some people seem to think that life and travel stops after having kids
@raquellennan1760
4 ай бұрын
I'm in awe of your travels, I was similar travelling with my parents. People judge everyone by its cover, we are all complicated beings wearing masks keeping up a self image. It's sad.
@Desiree-Laine
4 ай бұрын
Love you Shallon. Your videos have helped me through depression, so much.❤
@amandakurian3244
5 ай бұрын
Shallon: your best, your best video, brava. Thank you.
@peytonfelchak1729
5 ай бұрын
I really needed this rn! You rock Shallon!
@shimmeringchimps3842
4 ай бұрын
Great video, Shallon. I didn't realize you had such a colorful childhood! I agree on the issues of abject poverty. I think the beginning of Meghan Markle's downfall was when she was still part of the royal family in 2019 and had just spent the day volunteering with the poorest people on Earth, and in an interview she stood there in her designer dress, gave sad puppy dog eyes, and said, "No one has asked if I'm okay" referring to her new life as the wife of a freaking PRINCE. 🙄🤦 Meanwhile people behind her are eating dirt to survive.
@jenniferzhou8635
4 ай бұрын
Love these types of videos where you tell us story times & just chat on the couch! And you look gorgeoussssss here
@emannhen
4 ай бұрын
This is one of my fav videos of yours. Lol at you stroking out I love how you left that in there! That's the worst feeling and it always feels like it was the most genius thought that just poofed out of the universe! I've been through trauma like everyone else in the world. And literally you just have to get through it. There is no other choice which in a way is comforting. And in my day to day I feel fine but sometimes at night alone I get horrible panic attacks where nothing really feels real and I'm absolutely terrified. Like I'm okay but my brain short circuits sometimes. I dont think I choose to be this way. I think the people who you're talking about are people who enjoy the sympathy and use it to manipulate others. They are the ones who live and dwell and roll around in their trauma like little trauma pigs for everyone to see.
@IndigoMasquerade
4 ай бұрын
I completely admire how you emphasize the world is not nearly as privileged as people in America are and most have no clue what poverty really is
@rhia9872
5 ай бұрын
I know a few ppl who survived a kidnapping in Africa at gunpoint. Same situation. And they all moved through it. But then I think abt the victims of 9/11 whether they survived the twin towers, the pentagon, were the first responders ect. And some of them are still battling lifelong medical conditions from that event. So it makes me wonder if training yourself to get thru trauma is easy when u have no medical issues that continue to be present in your life and can almost pretend/downplay that event? Just food for thought that I think abt
@rachelg2152
5 ай бұрын
I believe it. The medical conditions related back to the trauma are kind of a constant reminder and in some ways an ongoing trauma because it’s hard to feel safe in your body/ not feel like your life is being threatened when you have an injury or condition.
@shallonlester
5 ай бұрын
Oh for sure I mean a medical issue is a whole other situation. If I’d lost a hand in that kidnapping or been assaulted, TOTALLY different thing. And like I said, there are some trauma you can maybe pack away and others you can’t, and I would for sure put a trauma that physically affects you in an ongoing manner in the “nope can’t just ignore it” category.
@rhia9872
4 ай бұрын
@@shallonlester I do want to mention that I find your perspective in this video to be informative and important. It’s a good takeaway to have that I will be applying myself, so thank you. I love these types of conversations
@NatalieKingLiving
4 ай бұрын
WOW!!! Such a powerful video. I absolutely love your honesty and your insight on trauma. This has helped me so much.
@njc1304
5 ай бұрын
Me and my sister got kidnapped by our dad when we were little. He took us to our home country in order for my mom to get back together with him and not have the opportunities she was getting in the US. She looked for us for a whole month and the police actually found us the day he was going to take us to permanently stay with a woman we didn't know so that he could go back to work in the states. The police burst very violently into the home and we were so scared until we saw our mom. Weirdly though, we have no trauma. My mom is a lot like Shallon so she never taught us to be victims.
@luceymajor
4 ай бұрын
This explains why you turned out so kick ass!
@beagirl7031
4 ай бұрын
Please ignore these haters that will accuse you of being racist. They dont know any better.
@njc1304
5 ай бұрын
I watched it in the Shallontourage, but I'm watching it here again.
@waterbearer4627
5 ай бұрын
One thing I love about Shallon and her talks, self awareness and analysis is that she teaches us the importance of resilience and not to see ourselves as victims. That problems and traumas do not need to be mental health issues. They can be problems but we can solve them. Within us is strength and power. We have the potential to not let it affect us and to put it in the past and move on. This is a true power we can utilise once we have the correct outlook.
@Cclo215
5 ай бұрын
This is great advice. What a worthy story to share with other young women.👏👏👏
@lovuwy.
4 ай бұрын
I just want to say, thank you Shallon. It mustve been hard to share and i appreciate it. I was sexually assaulted and you making this video helps me more than you realize, wish youd make more videos about trauma. Thank you. Shallon you really do have a huge heart❤❤
@gracemaina6593
4 ай бұрын
I'm Kenyan, and live in Kenya. I'm sorry you went through those traumatic events. Its interesting and enlightening to listen to other people's experiences in a place I call home. And views and experiences about freedom and safety and being of a different race and travelling abroad...
@vstorage8692
4 ай бұрын
Absolutely love the "America wants you to succeed" statement. So very true, most of the time only travelers and well traveled people can see this. Failure in this country is only a personal option.
@zcargirl77
5 ай бұрын
Perfect timing on this video. We had a full solar eclipse yesterday and all my friends who are into astrology (personally or professionally) have ALL told me that I’m finally shedding the last 11 years of my life, which were filled with trauma. I didn’t understand how that could be possible, but hearing you in this video makes me realize that it IS possible to move on and not dwell in that hardest times of your life.
@Kerrviii
5 ай бұрын
Shallon, Thank you for sharing this. 😢❤ you rock!
@asiyaterkenova7601
5 ай бұрын
In the end, life is always moving on, and you should too.
@LoiseVelosoTV
4 ай бұрын
You do nothing but empower and inspire me, Shallon. Thank you 💛
@lwandoponi1777
4 ай бұрын
Shallon the closer up look I mean she’s so beautiful ❤🥹
@paulafron8218
4 ай бұрын
My trauma was related to living in a rented flat. I moved out last June. I had lived there for 13 years, since I started my studies. I had easily more than ten flatmates, but the last one was a nightmare. I told him not to invade my personal space, he came closer, putting his face in my nose. On next occasion he pushed me when I was tying the rubbish bag on the corridor. It actually hurt me enough to feel my shoulder the whole next day. I informed the landlady. I expected her to help me with the problem. After all, we are from the same village. The landlady didn't help me. She told me she couldn't kick him out because he paid the rent. He admitted to everything so the landlady knew I was telling the truth. The situation was even worse, because the horrible flatmate was my best friend's best friend too. My best friend chose my flatmate's side, not mine. It still hurts so much, but I working on not feeling betrayed. I moved out and I am trying to turn over a new leaf, put the past behind me.
@gypsydoratarot8441
4 ай бұрын
I was kidnapped when I was nine years old too. I’m thankful every day that I lived through the experience but at the same time the PTSD it gave me is a constant reminder that I am not OK 😔
@EE-cg8cg
4 ай бұрын
One isolated traumatic incidents, isn’t the same as prolonged trauma Shallon! It wouldn’t be the same if you were held for a year, and had to experience daily abuse. Trauma can be a choice, when it’s one day of your privileged life, that wasn’t rainbows and sunshine! It’s a whole different thing when it’s prolonged because it affects your entire brain wiring! You can literally see parts of the brain that are affected by trauma in brain scans because it causes brain damage!
@jess_ray
4 ай бұрын
Clearly she was speaking about a mindset around trauma not prolonged traumatic incidents. You are correct about long term changes in the brain with long term abuse but I do believe Shallons theory prevails. At the end of the day it is about your mindset. It’s harsh but yea only you can shift that regardless of the why
@TT.3123
4 ай бұрын
Put the word fear in place of trauma and this video makes a whole lotta sense though.
@jq4444
5 ай бұрын
I'm glad I stumbled upon this this morning, Shallon. I've got my own stories about boo! in the night. As a 60 year old, you look back and wonder why did you sweat all that small shit. It wasn't worth the wrinkles you have now. It wasn't worth the grey hair. I also refuse to be a victim and trauma denial is one thing, but moving on is a totally different thing. I grew up and still live in South Africa - from rural to city. I am glad that you get it. The USA has always been a different world to us. From basic upbringing to marriage and careers, it has always felt that Americans were the top filling of the sandwich while we were just a crust of the bread cut off and tossed. Social media has brought these issues to the surface, imagine going through all of this in isolation in the 50's? What did those women do? I love how you are able to express yourself. I cannot help but thinking that life is like comic-con - different stages for different events. I zoom out and 'visit' these different shows - war in Europe, shit happening in weather patterns, drugs in South America, etc. At the end of the day, we can only do what we are capable of doing.
@1stfemalepresident
4 ай бұрын
There is no war in Europe. Ukraine is not europe, neither is it a part of the EU. The Ukraine, like most eastern block and balkan countries are part of the former UDSSR =Russia. Ukraine split from Russia in the early 90s, due to mostly ethical and economic differences. Ukrainian economy, culture, citizens (ethnicity), language (mostly Russian), is not at all European, but from the former UDSSR. Most Ukrainians are early settlers from Asia, just like in China, Turkey and the Balkans. The Ukrainian president is from Mongolia and grew up there with his dad, Google his lifetime. Europe fought many wars to keep those Mongolian settlers away. Just like Northern China and Northern Russia did, which was inhabited by europeans in earlier ages. Google "Dschingis Khan" s route of expansion and wars . The Europeans and Northern Russians stopped his expansion. This formed the base for the current countries borders (langue, ethnicity, religion, ao, basic traits of nation state building ) . So, there is war between Russia and one of its former provinces (if you like). No war in europe. Ps. Thanks for caring, but the real current crisis in europe is not the war in Ukraine. Thank you for caring :) I'd love to hear and learn more about how life is in South Africa. I have friends there that give very differing accounts to it. Greetings from the other end of the world over to you :)
@jarkachalmovianska7812
4 ай бұрын
You cannot ,brag, about your privileged life and then be surprised people put that in your face when they dont know all the details. Sometimes oversharing is not the best
@politicalactivism975
4 ай бұрын
Very Good Point
@meganb.higgins973
4 ай бұрын
This is a great reminder that being happy, counting our blessings, and continuing on is why humanity has survived and persevered through out hundreds of thousands of years. Our ancestors were survivors that built one of the greatest countries in the world. They would be disappointed to see such a severe lack of gratitude combined with this utter apathy permeating our society.
@Hopner44
4 ай бұрын
I'm going to send this to my 25 year old daughter who has mental health issues because of her trauma issues. Hopefully her jar shelf will be filled and she uses free passes.
@ashleylacombe8935
5 ай бұрын
Aww baby Shallon was so cute!!!
@AudreyWineland
4 ай бұрын
My brain glitches (blanks out) when I discuss my trama - which I rarely do; as you said, “no one gives a sh*t.” Not surprised you lost your train of thought. I figure it’s a protection mechanism of our subconscious.
@Stephanie.101
5 ай бұрын
I think the racist remark was based on saying “in Africa” I was born in an African country. And I traveled a lot around the continent and the rest of the world because my parents jobs moved them around a lot. Some countries were cool, my home country is kinda boring, Namibia was magical, South Africa conflicted, amazing experience, great food and wine a few racist people here and there. Tanzania very interesting and multicultural. Uganda busy and bustling every second of every day, interesting and delicious food, it was like having all 4 seasons take place in one day everyday. Kenya, very proud very friendly people. Democratic Republic of Congo: interesting, lots of rules and rules, we foreigners had curfew, friendly people, strong military presence, everyone I interacted with was rich and the women moved with at least $1,000 yes green American dollars 💵, lots of beautiful cars that were covered in dirt because most of the roads were incomplete. Super metropolis during the day and a ghost town at night to avoid robberies. Every now and then we would hear gunshots at night and the water from the taps would run red in the morning when getting ready for school because dead bodies were dumped in the rivers. Automatic no school days for us lol. I guess we were choosing not to be traumatized by the situation or something 🤷♀️ Botswana super chill and very traditional and wealthy nation, I’ll end there. But my point is imagine if I said I was in Central Africa and it’s just like blood diamond with Leonardo DeCaprio and Djimon Hounsou yall!!! Or I was in Africa and the people were racist. The people in Botswana weren’t racist to me and my family, the people in Namibia weren’t racist to us, some people in South Africa were racist but that doesn’t mean the whole country and continent is full of racist people
@gracemaina6593
4 ай бұрын
It's amazing you've travelled to so many countries in Africa. I'm in Kenya and I've not travelled a lot in my own country and only gone to Uganda for a few years.
@Stephanie.101
4 ай бұрын
@@gracemaina6593 that’s amazing too. Kenya is so beautiful, I especially enjoy how the air hostess speak their native language and then in English
@TK-xh1xc
4 ай бұрын
Wow. You are brave and awesome. Thank you for sharing this.
@thedavisfam23
5 ай бұрын
I know you mentioned this in a prior video, I always wondered!!
@bridgetgates6799
4 ай бұрын
The problem with just saying move on is that your body can choose not to. I actually have D.I.D. and my brain as a child was rewired into this don't think about it. Which is how I survived, however overtime my mind and body started to say hey that is still here. I'm currently going through DBR thereapy and it focuses on the shock. The fight or flight reactions that the body holds on to and you can't control. The part that happens before the emotions hit. It is really eye opening, because the body itself is stuck even if youre mind is saying ehh it's not that bad.
@hollyfelicity9390
5 ай бұрын
glad you're ok now!
@MISSMADISONMEDIA
3 ай бұрын
This story is incredible but omg the pictures in the beginning were too cute. Your face is exactly the same and the outfits are very 90s😂💕
@NourTheDreamer
5 ай бұрын
Now thats some interesting stuff!
@kittyfairy662
4 ай бұрын
For me I've moved on a lot more from my trauma than before but it still lingers and it's bc deep down I don't want to move on, it's like I want to carry on this resentment
@PinkTaurus93
4 ай бұрын
It’s not even an only child thing Shallon! 😂 It’s a flight crew thing. I know flight attendants who only get their hair done at a certain salon in London or only buy their wine from Paris. 😂😂😂 Ridiculous but awesome. 😎
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