#expectations #socialmedia #unrealisticexpectations #lifestyle #life
Expectations are the beliefs about the outcomes of certain events. While these expectations can help us get an idea of what to plan and how to plan , if those expectations are not met we end up in disappointment, frustrations and sometimes even worse depression…and sometimes these expectations can make us blinded to the reality and change our course when something is not really good for us, we stick to wrong paths because of this blind expectations which are unrealistic.
Most of the time in our life, this is what happens, the expectations we set in our minds about a relationship, a job, a friend all are so high and unrealistic that we end up being unhappy about the relationship,the job or the friendship ! research also shows that we are almost always inaccurate in our expectations of things- in a particular study, when newly wed couples were studied in relation to their expectations, the couples expected their happiness levels to rise in a four year period after getting married but in fact their happiness levels actually diminished. Should we stop expecting completely?
We often fall into this expectation trap, like the main character in the charles Dickens novel “the great expectations’, pip gets money from a secret benefactor and he planned to use this money to marry the girl of his dreams…but he ultimately learns that money was not part of the plan at all, he realises that he took so many relationships and gifts for granted and this robbed him of appreciating his reality.
In a study it was found that people were not able to enjoy a chocolate bar when they were reminded of how much wealth they had, when compared to those who were not reminded of their wealth. Meaning our expectations of some things in life affect how we enjoy or cannot enjoy simple things in life.
So what can we do about our expectations which can make us have happier lives
Checking your expectations from time to time:
We can start by assessing our expectations in any situation, whenever you enter a situation,
Immediately assess what your expectations are, whether they are achievable and on what you are basing your expectations on? Your reference points often determine your satisfaction levels in all situations. If you stil feel disappointed when your expectations aren't met, time to assess whether your expectations were realistic or not.
Spend some time in every disappointment to look for the positives, we may think that all our hopes have been dashed because certain expectations were not met, but there is a positive side to every situation in our life and look for those upsides in any situation- practice gratitude everyday- be thankful everyday for three things.
Stop comparing your life to others life- nowadays it is common to look at what people are doing with their life on social media, in friends groups and relatives groups and feel frustrated or expect same things with our lives..but in fact they are sharing only 20% of their lives on social media and we are only seeing the tip of the iceberg.realising that it may not be the complete picture after all can make things better for us!
Think about what makes you happy- sometimes in the hope of having more we think well be happy once we get that whether it is a new car or a new phone which we wanted to buy for a long time…but the happiness doesn't last long as much as we expected. So finding things which actually make you happy and finding joy in simple things and appreciating what we already have can help us lower our expectations .
Accept your emotions- sometimes when our expectations are not met, we end up feeling frustrated, angry, jealous but when we accept these emotions rather than try to hide them things will get easier..it helps us understand how our unrealistic expectations make us struggle with our emotions helping to lower our expectations.
Although it is good to have expectations, becoming aware of them, how realistic or unrealistic they are and how they are influencing your happiness can help you lower your expectations or set realistic expectations and help you find joy in little things rather than wallow in feelings of frustration and disappointment resulting from unrealistic expectations.
Негізгі бет Тәжірибелік нұсқаулар және стиль Why are we unhappy ? EXPECTATIONS
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